When I was shaken awake, the first thing I saw was a giant man staring right back at me with his deep-set brown eyes.

With a vice-like grip on my left leg, he held me hanging upside down on his eye level.

He was draped in a makeshift beast fur cloak, with a head full of wild black hair, his chiseled face was half-hidden behind an overgrowth of unkempt beard.

Though his biggest defining feature was his size. He was a colossus of a man. In comparison, I was no bigger than his head, akin to a toddler before a Neanderthal on steroids. 

Still being a bit groggy from the rude awakening, I was understandably confused and had obvious trouble making sense of this situation.

The last thing I remember was bringing Betty, or was it, Becky, to my place and enjoying a great night.

So could this all be a part of some banal revenge plot? 

Maybe her father decided to pay me an unwelcome visit after I played around with his precious daughter and never called her back, as I never did. It could also be an overprotective brother, coming to string up the asshole that tainted his precious little sister, or the worst option yet, her husband. Dealing with husbands was always the most troublesome, as simply proclaiming my everlasting love for the girl in question never seemed to calm them down.

Unfortunately, none of those options covered meeting with a fantasy giant.

Not willing to agitate a creature straight out of some twisted fairy tale, I wisely decided against any rash actions and for a few tense seconds, I audaciously met his gaze, playing David to his Goliath.

From my peripheral vision, I noticed that we were in a well lit cavernous room. Not seeing any way to break our impasse in my immediate surroundings, I silently despaired.

It was only when I chanced a peek at myself that the last vestiges of sleep finally left me and I truly realized the gravity of my predicament. 

The man was no fantasy giant, it's just that I was too small!

Small chubby hands, ruddy wrinkled skin, covered in blood and other disgusting bodily fluids. I was a damn toddler and apparently fresh out of the oven!

My silent despair turned into an outright panic attack and without any further delay, I proceeded to lose my shit. My newborn body reacted to my emotional breakdown in the only way that it could.

The silent staring contest between a Randy Savage wannabe and a daring infant was immediately broken by a piercing wail. 

Seemingly pleased with my reaction, the man's bushy beard parted into a toothy grin. Despite my panic, I didn't fail to notice that the bastard's teeth were surprisingly clean. 

Though before I could get properly sidetracked by the oral hygiene habits of a cave-dwelling bodybuilder, I was quickly brought back to my grim reality.

"%#>€ #%^*, " he said with a deep voice. 

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

The language was completely foreign to me so I didn't understand a word.

Fortunately, he wasn't expecting a reply from a wobbling toddler. 

After giving me one final once over, he lowered me to his side and proceeded to carry me out of the cavern room. Though as he didn't bother changing the way he held me, I was carelessly dangled around along with his swinging arm.

As we were about to reach the exit, I noticed a silhouette in the corner. It was a half-naked woman in a tattered safari shirt. Pale as a ghost, she was motionlessly lying in a puddle of her own blood. With her legs spread out and her nether regions a mangled mess, it became pretty clear as to who she was.

Judging by her getup she with either a tourist or some so sort of explorer but most importantly...

"She must be the mother of this body!" I said in abject horror, the words coming out of my mouth in a jumbled mess of baby speak.

My fear-driven imagination easily churned up a dozen scenarios of what might have transpired in this godforsaken caves.

Though whichever version held true, judging by how coldly he left her body to rot away in that quiet corner, it was definitely no happy marriage.

'Now I don't really care much for whatever sob story took place in this godforsaken cave, but I sure as hell didn't want to take part in it!' was my last thought before passing out due to my rising anxiety and a newly acquired motion sickness. 

---------

When I came to again, I didn't dare to open my eyes, choosing to be lost in blissful ignorance.

Unfortunately, I knew that ignoring the harsh reality wasn't really going to get me anywhere.

Pushing back my lingering fears, I took a peek at my surroundings.

Lying on piled-up beast furs, I found myself in yet another cavern room.

The place was dimly lit by crudely made wall lamps.

The only visible exit was half-covered by a stone wall, that vaguely reminded me of a baby gate.

The walls themselves were covered in clumsy paintings, depicting an island with a mountain in it's center.

Unlike the island, which served as a dwelling for countless weirdly shaped beasts and was full of life, the mountain housed only a single inhabitant. 

A caricature of a man in a fur coat, quietly sitting and observing the bustling beasts below. A king proudly overlooking his domain.

As if hypnotized, I stared as the black paint started to gain colors, becoming more vibrant. Sounds of wildlife reached my ears. The drawn beasts coming to life, scurring around the walls. 

It was a mesmerizing sight until suddenly, a giant four-armed gorilla-like creature jumped atop what seemed to be an alligator, tearing him limb from limb. A giant bird of prey started it's descent, aiming for the distracted four-armed gorilla but was snatched away by a branch of an inconspicuous tree. As the tree was busy choking the bird in it's branches, a vine silently sprouted beneath it and proceeded to grow up the carnivorous tree's stump at an astonishing rate. As fast as the vine grew, the tree started to wither, losing it's life to the parasite. 

Many similar scenes played out all around the island. An idealistic paradise devolving into a frightening blood bath. 

It all lasted until the man atop the mountain leisurely stood up and gave out a sundering roar, cowing all the raging beasts and snapping me out of my reverie. The beasts slowly returned to their initial positions in the painting, the colors receded and all was silent once more. 

Fan-fucking-tastic, Just yesterday, I was on top of the world. Born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I was quite used to having everything go my way.

Now though, In addition to waking up as a baby, being held hostage by some mountain savage that is apparently my new father, I was also hallucinating.

This whole situation reminded me of a poorly written prologue for what promises to be a subpar transmigration novel. 

I wasn't really a fan of the genre but from what little I knew, the trope usually involves a down on his luck protagonist getting a second chance at life, which turns his fortunes around.

In my case though, my splendid hill mansion turned into a stuffy cave, my silken beds replaced with tasteless beast furs, my loving parents swapped for a brute and a dead body.

Any further musing on the unfairness of my situation were interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps. 

I saw the man striding up to the only entrance to my room with a brown ceramic bowl in his hands.

He took a few seconds to study me with a curious gaze and smiled, apparently satisfied with whatever it is that he saw.

Next, he reached down, beyond the stopgap baby gate, to put down the bowl that he brought along with him.

As I cautiously studied the bowl, a whiff of tantalizing fragrance reached me. It was only then I realized how hungry I was. Painfully so.

Following the temptation of a tasty meal, I awkwardly crawled up to the bowl. Inside was a strange liquid with a mixture of different colors.

Now despite my obvious lack of knowledge on newborns, me not being their fan and all, I was pretty sure that they weren't meant to eat strange substances offered by suspicious caveman.

I briefly considered ignoring the offered meal.

Though that last shred of rationality was quickly drowned by the rising pangs of hunger and the almost supernatural beckoning of the spreading aroma.

And I was glad that I gave in since this soup was so great that I finished it off in a matter of seconds. 

It was some strange mixture of ground meat and herbs soaked in some milky liquid. Whatever it was, it tasted divine and beyond anything that the best restaurants that I've ever visited had to offer.

Ignoring the hand that silently reached down to scoop up the empty bowl, I burped and blissfully fell back, still lost in the aftertaste of my meal.

Just maybe, this whole situation wasn't so horrible after all.

Lost in thought, I peacefully fell asleep.