Author’s Note: Many thanks are in order for u/Evil-Emps and u/radius55 for helping edit my nonsense into something readable. I hope y’all enjoy. 

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“And you’re sure you don’t train your young in the ways of battle with these…video games?” Dara asked, resting her head on a clawed hand while glowering at her human roommate. 

“I mean, not really, it’s pretty much just for fun. I can load up an older FPS or flight sim to show you the ropes if you want,” Logan offered even as the computer screen before him turned into a riot of color as he continued playing. 

The sounds of digital battle reached a fever pitch that had Dara’s ears flattened. “Perhaps one that isn’t as…loud as that one.” 

Logan only chuckled as the combat reached a crescendo of violence before mercifully ending with a screen filled with names and numbers. The brief respite lasted for all of one heartbeat before a new cacophony started, this one filled with the angry shouting of many humans. 

All manner of words were thrown about. She knew English. It had taken her nearly a year of painful study to learn it before coming to earth. But this wasn't English.

Tilting her head in confusion, Dara asked, “What are they shouting? What is this ‘get good scrub’ they keep referring to? Is there a bush somewhere?”

Logan instantly turned to look at the dragonette, a smile plastered across his face as he reached for a small device and spoke. “Guys guys guys! I got a question for y’all, what does git gud scrub mean?” 

The previous cacophony turned into an uproar of angered voices swearing as only humans could. Dara was almost certain such obscenely described acts would see an inquisitor stroke out from the implied heresy alone. 

All the while, her roommate just sat there with a dumb grin on his face as he watched her surprise and bewilderment play out. It was quite the show as the shouting and swearing continued for several more glorious seconds until he was booted back to the main menu of the game. 

“So…did that answer your question?” he asked, only just keeping the humor out of his voice. But not off of his face. His grin only widened at her unamused glare. 

“I did not know such vulgarity and heresy was permitted here,” Dara answered with all the disappointment of an old tutor. 

“Ha! That was tame compared to the lobbies I grew up with,” Logan explained as he opened up a new game. “Now this one should be a little more your speed.” 

The screen lit up with a more subdued color palette, and more importantly, a much quieter soundtrack to go with it. It was almost a complete opposite to the previous game, but Dara was not going to complain about the improvements. 

“So, it’s only fair I give you a little warning for this one,” Logan began with an almost uncharacteristic seriousness. “This game’s been out for longer than I’ve been alive. There are people out there who have played it since the day it was released and never stopped. They are unparalleled sweat lords who will stomp your KD into the dirt.” 

“I know what most of those words are individually, and I can infer your warning. I shall keep it in mind,” Dara said calmly, assuming the human was setting her up for another joke of his. 

“Fair enough. Now, come on over and I’ll show you the controls.” Logan quickly got up from his seat, the staccato of pops from his stretching spine inspiring concern in the dragonette as she approached. 

Few if any chairs were designed for those with a tail or wings and Logan’s ‘gaming chair’ was no exception. Dara eventually settled into its, admittedly, comfortable embrace after several seconds of annoyed wiggling. 

The screen before her beckoned. 

Logan handed her a strange device called a ‘controller’ and spent a few minutes showing her which buttons did what, and how to play the game. The basics of moving and shooting were simple enough concepts to her, but putting them into practice was a glacial process in and of itself. Several practice matches did little to improve her skills other than moving her to just above last place. 

“Off to a good start… Well, at least you aren’t at the very bottom,” the human ‘complimented’ Dara. 

“It has been oddly enjoyable, I will admit,” she said grudgingly, even if the hints of a smile on her face said otherwise. “But these other players, I have heard them talking sometimes. How do I respond to them?” 

“Oh, just turn on the microphone over there.” He gestured to the same device from earlier, a small switch set into its base. “I’ve got to get some errands done so you’ll have the place to yourself for a while. Take a break if you feel like it, but you can keep doing whatever in game.” 

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Okay, but if you’re shopping um…can you pick up some of that bull with red hair drink, please?” Dara asked a little uncertainly. She had only heard rumors of the drink, and was eager to try it for herself. 

Chuckling lightly, Logan nodded as he grabbed his wallet and keys. “Yeah, I can get you some Red Bull. I never really liked the stuff, but you do you.” 

With a farewell given, Logan left the room and set out for the store leaving Dara to her devices. The switch at the base of the microphone was an all too tempting target for the curious dragonette. With a simple flick it was turned on. 

“Hello there, fellow humans…” 

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Traffic had not been kind to Logan at all as he parked his car in front of the apartment. More than a few rubberneckers had decided to turn his fifteen minute round trip to the store into an hour-long slog. At least he had been able to get everything sorted before hitting the store for a few goodies, including Dara’s request. 

As he wasn’t a two trip bitch Logan picked up all the bags in a rather awkward embrace and made his way inside. He half expected to see his dragonette roommate napping away on the sun covered couch, bored of a decades old game. Instead, he heard something altogether unexpected. 

“Do not listen to that fool for he is an ankle, and by ankle I mean three feet lower than a cunt!” Dara shouted with a degree of venom he had never heard from her or any dragonette before. 

The many bags that encumbered him quickly met the kitchen floor as he hurried to his room. With each step, a new insult was thrown about by Dara. 

“Succumb to the darkness and begone from my sight you aimless shit!’ 

Rushing up the stairs was a tactical mistake however as his shin met the top step and sent him sprawling out on the floor. Hissing in annoyance and pain he slowly stood up and continued on his path, now with a slight limp. 

“You’re bottom of the leaderboard, why don’t you fall to the hells while you’re at it you heathen?!” 

Upon reaching the door to his room, he hesitated a moment as he rubbed at his sore shin. Though, that was more of an excuse as he found himself listening in to the dragonette cooking on the mic. 

“I have seen lumps of coal with more honor than you, you betraying sack of shit- Oh, go crawl back to your egg you flightless worm, that was on purpose! Do I look like a bitch? Then why you trying to fuck me like one?!” 

Her verbal tirade was perhaps a little reliant on some native insults, but they served their purpose well enough. The furious shouting of the rest of the lobby made that clear, and he did have to give her credit there. Pissing off everyone was a special sort of talent. 

Entering the room as quietly as possible, he did his best to peek over the dragonette’s shoulder, and wing, to see how well she was doing. Much to Logan’s surprise, she was actually doing halfway decent for a first time gamer. 

Dara’s aim was abysmal and her movement was misery personified, but that didn’t stop her at all. The few times her crosshairs were lined up on another player she quickly squeezed off some surprisingly good shots. Her almost maniacal laughter at getting an ever elusive kill was quite entertaining as well. 

“And who’s the dumbfuck who got killed by me? Oh that’s right, Socialist Intervention! I’m bottom of the leaderboard and still better than you,” Dara properly cackled, leaning back in the gaming chair just far enough that Logan came into view for her. 

“Are ya winning son?” he asked all too innocently. 

Her green eyes widened in surprise and confusion even as she tried to shoot upright from the seat. Unfortunately, all this did was send her tumbling backwards to end up at Logan’s feet. 

What monumental effort the human had put towards keeping a straight face went out the window as he started laughing. After a moment of mortification on the dragonette’s part, Logan offered a helping hand up. 

Even through his amusement, there was an air of concern in his voice as he asked, “You alright?” 

Dara’s eyes remained steadfastly focused off to the side in embarrassment as she accepted the help. The crows of laughter coming from the computer only helped to solidify her mortification as she murmured her response. “I’m fine.” 

“-Ohhh, did someone’s daddy come home?! Why don’t you let him have a go while you make dinner?” echoed out from the computer as the rest of the lobby found a new target to mock. 

Both the human and dragonette turned to the computer as the jeering continued. Insults were flung about as Dara hesitated on what to do. Her behavior had been a guilty pleasure, but to have her roommate witness it had her pinning her ears back in embarrassment. 

Distracted by her own thoughts and chagrin she was slow to notice Logan set the gaming chair upright and turn the microphone off. His next words quickly brought her focus back to the present, “Are you going to let them keep talking shit?” 

“W-What?” she stammered back. 

“Between the two of us, I’m pretty sure you have plenty more to judge me on than the other way around. So…feel free to have fun and set those losers straight.” Logan answered seriously, gesturing to the empty seat. 

“It’s not h-honorable…” she trailed off, her sense of propriety warring with her enjoyment of the game. 

“Which part, the shit talking or beating them like they owe you rent? Because I promise ya, you ain’t losing any honor over putting those punks in their place.” Logan added sincerely before a mischievous glint entered his blue eyes. “And I am not above giving tips to help out either.” 

Dara’s eyes swept back and forth from the human to the chair for a few moments until she finally reached a decision. “Just, don’t tell anyone about this. Okay?” 

“My lips are sealed.” Logan mimed the gesture as the dragonette took the seat again.

“Good, now how do I ‘beat them like they owe me rent’, as you put it?” Dara asked as she joined the lobby and awaited the next match. 

“A good bit of its just practice, but I just so happen to know some very mean spots to snipe noobs on this map like a proper bush wookie…”