Nudge took in the room around him. It’s off-white walls and grey-tiled floor, making it look more akin to a prison cell than a meeting place, as the sign outside claimed. The small size only exacerbated the issue. If there’d been a simple bunk bed and toilet in the corner, Nudge wouldn’t have been surprised. In all, the room took what was already a tough conversation and made it near impossible. Which at the end of the day seemed to be Nudge’s luck with these kinds of things.
The young Hero, sitting across from him, must’ve sensed the same atmosphere. His eyes darted around like a trapped animal as he digested what was happening.
“It’s not that I don’t trust the others,” Liam said as his eyes focused on Nudge. “I’m just getting used to them.”
“I understand, the transition back into a team must be tough for you. But you have to have faith. Without it, we’d be no better than the Cowls.”
“I’m doing that. It’s just taking some time to get used to the group.”
And there was one of the problems, Nudge thought. Their team was a ‘group’ to the young man. He was still refusing to see them as anything more than that.
“You keep calling us a group, not a team. Why is that?” Nudge asked the most telling question of the day. And the one he hoped would put the pieces of this issue in place.
Source fidgeted in his chair. His eyes darting up and left, a clear sign he was about to lie. Even without his power, Nudge would’ve been able to read the tells. With it, the young man’s mentality became obvious.
“We haven’t gone on a mission yet, so we aren’t a team,” the young Hero lied. It wasn’t the worst lie in the world, it even had a nugget of truth to it. However, sprinkling a truth over a lie didn’t negate what was underneath.
The statement itself put Nudge in a bind. Did he call out the younger Hero, bringing all of this to an end, or at least kicking Liam from his delusion? It had risks. If Liam didn’t take it the right way, it might break him. However, it was something he had to do.
“Did you feel the same way when you joined The Hunt?” Nudge asked.
“They have nothing to do with this,” Liam said. His hand balling into a fist, tone growing cold.
Yep, Nudge hit a nerve with that one. If he wanted to get anywhere with Liam, he had to get to the bottom of that belief. If he kept playing it safe, the young Hero would never face his problem.
“Really?” Nudge asked.
“I… fine, I saw them as my team when I joined. Which was why it was so easy for them to betray me?”
“We aren’t the same. I vetted everyone here. No one will turn on you. This won’t be a repeat of what happened with The Hunt,” Nudge said, and he meant it. His power wasn’t just for show, it gave him a great understanding of who people were, deep down. While he couldn’t read their thoughts, he could still get hints of what was under the surface.
“Give me the data you used to do that research and I’ll look for myself.”
“I can’t do that for you, which you already know.”
“Doesn’t mean I couldn’t ask,” Liam said. Only now did his fist loosen. His white knuckled grip fading away to just a clenched hand. An improvement, but Nudge knew he wasn’t there yet.
“You’ll have to learn to trust me.”
“Trust isn’t something easily gained.”
There was a pause in the conversation as the two looked at each other. Nudge stared into Liam’s eyes. Looking at the man inside.
“I’ve never had to worry about a teammate hijacking my electronics before,” Liam finally said. Nudge knew that would be a sticking point. Even if Liam hadn’t been betrayed in the past, he’d find it hard to take in Wire’s abilities. Now though, it only made things worse. Yet the woman’s power wasn’t something Nudge was willing to part with.
“Her power is limited,” he tried.
“Does that matter when I’m a techie? Everything I build is electronic. You expect me to be ok with her near me, even if there is a limit to what she can do?” Liam said, doing air quotes.
“Are you that afraid of the power or of her?” Nudge asked. Trying to pull the dormant male pride out of the man.
“That doesn’t matter. Having her and Tank, a Hero who gets stronger when she faces more or stronger opponents, isn’t the most reassuring group to be around.”
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“Just try to work with them,” Nudge said. If nothing else worked, he’d go for the direct path.
Liam looked to the side and sighed, then turned back. Nudge was worried he’d disagree. Maybe even quit. His body language was out of control, Nudge was having trouble getting a clear reading.
Finally, Liam replied with what Nudge was hoping to hear, “Fine. I will.”
“Thanks. That’s all I ask,” Nudge said. Mentally, sighing with relief.
Liam got up and pushed in his chair. The seat squeaked in disagreement as it moved.
This was the second worst part about leading. Managing the people. It’s why he’d joined The Watch in the first place. He’d thought his days of dealing with his teammates’ issues were gone. Only to get roped into it all again when Bank-Breaker came back.
As Liam was leaving the room, Nudge said, “Do you want to be a Hero anymore? The man I saw at the school knew the answer to that question. Does he still now?”
Liam didn’t turn around as he continued out of the room. But Nudge saw a slight hitch in his stride.
…
Liam walked away from Nudge’s ambush. He knew the man was trying to do the right thing, help people and bring their collection of Heroes together into a cohesive unit. Yet Liam refused to call them a team. What gave Nudge the right to make that decision for him?
And an even better question, why did Nudge ask if he wanted to be a Hero? He was here, wasn’t he? Shouldn’t that count for something?
Liam remembered his feelings walking into those Des Moines schools. He’d wanted to save people, regardless of what might happen to him. Wasn’t that what being a Hero was all about? And yet the man was asking him if he truly wanted to be one. Nudge was off his rocker if he thought Liam didn’t want this.
Walking into the base’s kitchen, Liam stalked to the fridge. He spotted Wire nearby and gave her a half hearted hello and he passed. The last thing he wanted right now was to be pulled into something with her. At least he wasn’t wearing his suit at the moment, so if she got mad he wouldn’t have to worry about his own tech turning against him, just the microwave and fridge.
Rummaging through the cabinets, Liam looked for something to munch on. Anything to get his mind off the questions Nudge was pushing. Picking out a couple apples and peanut butter, Liam made his way to the table. A few quick slices later and he had apple wedges, ready to be slathered in peanut butter.
Taking the first bite, Liam dove into the food. Eating bite after bite while the room around him became a blur. It wasn’t until he was half way through the apple that Liam noticed Wire eyeing the food.
“Want some,” Liam offered his fellow Hero. Hoping she’d say no, so he could have it all to himself. And more so that his simple comment didn’t signal he wanted to talk.
“Thanks,” a quiet reply came from Wire as she took a slice for herself. Then, with a knife, she covered the entire slice with peanut butter goodness. She loaded the slice with more than he’d used on the other half of the apple.
It wasn’t the end of the world if she had some, Liam decided. If she ate too much, he’d just cut another apple. Maybe the food would keep any conversation to a minimum.
The two sat there eating. Liam tried to ignore what Nudge said while Wire appeared to be lost in her own world. Yet it was bound to end, and Wire spoke up.
“I feel like I don’t belong here,” she said.
The comment took Liam by surprise. Why wouldn’t she want to be here? This was the place to be. A Hero’s career could be made working on this case. Not to mention the connections with The Watch.
“Where else would you rather be?” Liam asked.
“No, I want to be here, but I know you’ve all seen real action and I haven’t. What if I make a mistake and put one of you in danger when we’re out there?”
“You passed the Academy. What more could we expect of you?” Liam asked. He knew what she was going through. He’d felt the same way when he finished the academy.
“But this is real life. Once we’re out of here, things will be real. Mistakes will be real.”
“That’s what all the training was for. We’re getting better,” Liam said. The apples on his plate were forgotten as he talked to Wire.
“I just feel like I don’t belong, like I’m a fake member of the team. Haven’t you seen how poorly I’ve been performing in the simulator?”
Liam wouldn’t call her a fake. In their last run through the simulator, she’d taken out three times as many opponents as he had.
“I think I know what you’re talking about. It’s called imposter syndrome. It happens to people in every profession, all the time.”
“What is that?” Wire asked.
“It’s where you have the qualifications to be in a group, but your mind tells you, you don’t. Once you’re out there, things will fall into place and you’ll do great.”
The two were quiet again. Turning back to the apples. It wasn’t until the last slice was gone that the conversation started again.
“Have you ever felt that way? The imposter thing?” Wire asked.
“We all have. Mine was when I was first at the academy. Everyone had a superpower. They could fly, light things on fire, all of these great abilities. Then there was me. All I can do is create things. And with my budget back then, they were janky. Yet I stuck to it.”
“How’d you get over the feeling?”
“I’d been a part of the program for a while. Then one day I beat one of the top supers. The guy had incredible physical powers. And I beat him using the tech I’d built in my dorm room. From then on, I knew I had a place at the academy.”
“So you’re saying I’ll have to wait until I take down a Cowl to get over this?”
That wasn’t what he was trying to get across. Why was he so bad at explaining things?
“No. What I meant was, this is something that comes with time. You fit in here already, you might not see it now, but someday you will.”
That seemed to reach the other Hero, if the twitching of her lips was any clue.
“Thanks Source, I needed that,” Wire said.
“You’re welcome,” Liam said. “Now how about another apple?”
“Sounds good.”
Liam stood up to grab another apple. As he made his way across the room, he wondered at what he’d just said. Did their conversation apply to more than just the young Hero?