I looked at the empty plate on the floor. Empty... like my whole being at this moment.
"I'm hungry."
Very hungry... I... don't know what to do with my life... What do I do now? I lost everything... I lost the person I loved the most... And I don't know if I can move on with my life.
My grandmother is the person I love the most in my life. She raised me, gave me a home, food, love... Thanks to her, I am the person I am now. A kind, polite, and respectful boy to everyone. She taught me never to use bad language. She taught me to respect people's lives. She taught me to be empathetic. She taught me what is right and what is not... She taught me to be a good human being. Thanks to my grandmother, I am who I am now. Without her, I wouldn't be happy... My grades are almost perfect. My grandmother worked all day to be able to pay for my school and feed me. Despite being poor, I never lacked food. My grandmother raised me without anyone's help. My grandmother fed me, dressed me, and gave me an education without anyone's help. We never received any help from the government. Despite my excellent grades, I could never get a scholarship... But even though we were very poor, we were happy.
"Happy... Grandma, you made me very happy, I will always be grateful to you... But... were you happy?"
I don't know... You never treated me badly... I never saw you angry... You were always so joyful and smiling... Were you really happy or were you pretending to be happy so as not to worry me? Despite your advanced age, you worked all day to bring food home... Did you enjoy your life?
"Or did I ruin your life?"
I'm afraid to think that you couldn't enjoy your old age because you had to support me... A woman your age should have been at home resting, you shouldn't have been working... I... I ruined your life.
"I'm sorry, grandma... Forgive me."
I always tried to be a perfect boy. I wanted my grandmother to be proud of me, but... now that she's not here, it's not worth trying anymore... First, I lost my parents, and now I lost the person I loved the most. I lost my grandmother... Is it worth continuing to live?
Debts pile up... We have always been poor, so we have no savings... I... I don't know what to do.
I have no money, no job... I have nothing to sell... I have nothing.
... What if I become a prostitute?
"No... No..."
I shouldn't do it... My grandmother would be disappointed in me if I worked in something so dangerous and indecent.
Besides... what's the point of continuing to live? Life no longer has any meaning.
"Grandma... I don't know if I can move on without you... I... I don't know what to do with my life."
I put my grandmother's photograph on an altar... Or an attempt at an altar... I have no money to buy a frame... I put some flowers I stole from the park on the altar... I stole flowers from a park... I don't even have money for flowers... I'm sorry, grandma... I'm so sorry.
"I apologize... You deserve better... But I'm not capable of getting it."
I'm sorry for being useless, grandma. I'm sorry for being so weak... Forgive me.
I know I have to move on, that's what you would want, but... no... I don't want to.
Why did I study so hard? So that you would be proud of me.
Why did I stay alive? Because I wanted to stay by your side.
... Wasn't I enjoying life?
I don't know... I have Sonia, my girlfriend. I have my best friend, Cris... I still have important people in my life, but... it's not the same... I lost the only reason I was making an effort for... I lost it forever.
I was only happy when I was with my grandmother... I was also happy with Sonia and Cris, but... it didn't feel the same... Is this depression? Maybe... But one thing I'm sure of... I don't want to keep feeling like this.
Without family... Without money... Is it worth continuing to live? I have my girlfriend and my best friend left, but my presence would only bring them problems. I don't want to be a burden to them. I don't want them to pity me... I don't want to bother them with my presence.
I don't want strangers to have to support me... I don't want to receive people's pity... I don't want to.
"Grandma... Thank you for everything..."
... Tears...? Tears...
I can't help but cry... Grandma... I don't know what to do... I don't know.
I don't want to receive people's pity. I don't want to be a nuisance.
... I'm starving... I was rejected from all the jobs... And I was only offered house cleaning jobs...
"But I can't accept those jobs... I don't want "that" to happen again... I don't want to be raped again... I don't want to be touched... I don't want to, I don't want to."
My body won't stop trembling... No... No, no, no... Don't remember anything, Daniel... Don't do it.
... Grandma, I think I hate my life without you... Sexual harassment, attempted rape... Rape... Bullying. Mockery for being poor... Grandma, you were the light in my dark life.
Sonia, Cris, I'm sorry, but you are just matches in this deep and dark cave called life, and my grandmother was the sun.
I can't live my life without her.
"Grandma... I will miss you so much."
I don't know if paradise exists... I don't believe in God, but... if it exists, I hope to see you there again.
Thank you for everything. I'm sorry it's so little... I hope you're resting in peace, grandma... I love you... and I will always love you. In this life and in any other.
Goodbye, grandma... I hope to see you again... and I suspect it will be very soon.
I don't want to live without you... I don't know how to live without you.
"Daniel..."
That voice... I was so distracted crying and thinking about my problems, that I didn't realize he came in.
I turned to my left... It's Cris, my best friend... my only friend. Sonia is also my friend, but she's my girlfriend... Ah, I'm so stressed that I don't know what I'm thinking.
Sonia, the girl I've been in love with since we were kids.
Cris, Sonia, and I have been friends since elementary school.
Sonia is the only girl I've ever fallen in love with, I'm very lucky to have her by my side. The only reason I'm still alive and haven't committed suicide is because I still have my best friends by my side. Even if they are matches in this deep cave, they are still important in my life.
Especially Sonia, the girl of my dreams. The only girl who fell in love with me for my personality and not for my appearance. The love of my life. If I manage to move forward with my life, I want to start a family with her.
"Sorry for coming in without permission, Daniel. Did I come at a bad time? I'm sorry, but I want to talk to you about something important."
"Don't worry... Hi, Cris... I would offer you something, but I have nothing... Nothing..."
Not even food... I'm starving, but I don't want others to pity me.
I feel like my stomach is eating itself. Fortunately, I'm not dehydrated because I drank water from the sink in a public restroom... Water from a public restroom... I've sunk so low.
I have no gas. I have no water... Not even electricity... I have nothing... Nothing! I'm useless without my grandmother... Useless and unable to take care of myself.
I hate this... I hate it... I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I don't think I can bear my situation any longer.
Sonia, I want to see you, but I haven't showered in days... I don't want you to see me like this... You deserve someone much better than me.
... I think I'll break up with her. I love her, but I don't want to embarrass her. I don't want her to be known as the girlfriend of a disgusting bum like me, who doesn't shower.
It will hurt, but it's for her own good.
"... Daniel, we need to talk... I was thinking whether to tell you or not, but I decided to tell you... You deserve to know the truth... We can't talk here. Let's go somewhere quieter and with fresh air."
"Yes... Yes, of course."
I hope they're not more bad news. My heart couldn't take it.
Cris, you look too serious... Please, let it not be more bad news.
Humans against demons.
CHAPTER 1 - A new purpose.
My name is Daniel and I'll tell you a little bit about myself. I have black, slightly long hair because I avoid getting haircuts for months, mainly to save money. My eyes are light brown, and I'm not very muscular, just slim (mainly because even though I eat every day, I eat very little to make the food last longer).
What stands out the most about me? Well... Ah... I'm a somewhat handsome guy, but that really doesn't matter to me, in fact, it bothers me because it has caused me a lot of problems in my life. In school, I'm always teased and beaten up by other guys, mainly out of envy, or because their girlfriends try to flirt with me. But I rarely defend myself, I don't want to cause problems for my grandmother, I only defend myself when they really make me angry.
I don't defend myself most of the time because I'm afraid of getting into trouble with dangerous people. I'm poor, after all. It's easy to kill or kidnap someone as poor as me, who lives in a dangerous and shady area of the city.
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
My grandmother and I live together, she's the only family I have... We're very poor, but at least we managed to survive and be happy together... Although everything changed... I lost her forever.
My grandmother recently died. Her heart stopped working, and she died of a heart attack. They couldn't save her.
Her death affected me too much. She was the only family I had... Now I'm alone... And I realized how useless I am. I don't know how to move forward on my own... I don't know what I'll do with my life.
I sold some of my few belongings to pay for the funeral, but I don't care. As long as I can give her a dignified burial, I don't mind selling my things.
I have several problems on my mind and I don't know what to do... How will I live? Will I be able to support myself...? I'm trying to find a job, but no one is hiring me.
I've been rejected for all the jobs... I hate this... I hate it.
Ah... I really don't know what to do with my life.
"So, what did you want to tell me?"
I'm standing in front of my best friend right now, he said he wanted to tell me something important. We're meeting in a park.
The atmosphere becomes very uncomfortable. He looks at me with... pity... He pities me...
I hate that look, but it's the only one he can give me right now. I disgust myself at this moment, I even know it.
I don't want to be pitied.
"I'm sorry, Daniel."
Ah... I hope it's not bad news... Huh?
"..."
He showed me a photo on his phone... A photo that completely breaks my heart.
It's a photo of my girlfriend, kissing another guy. My heart shatters as I see the photo... She's cheating on me... The love of my life, is cheating on me.
She was one of the few reasons I had to keep going... No... She was the only reason I had... I... I... I don't know how to react... Why? Why did she do this to me?
I loved her, and I thought she loved me too.
I thought our relationship was working... I know I had planned to break up with her recently, but...
Why did she do this to me?
Why with that idiot?
Why did she cheat on me?
... Tears... again... But I can't help but cry. The girl I have loved for so many years is cheating on me with another guy.
Honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. Should I be angry, sad, or disappointed? I think what I feel is a mixture of those feelings inside me.
Sonia is cheating on me... The girl I love, is cheating on me...
"Sonia..."
"I'm sorry, I know what you're going through, but I can't let my sister play you... I'm sorry, if you need help, you can count on me and my family, you know that."
When my grandmother died, Cris' family, my best friend, offered me their help, but I declined. I don't want to be a burden.
... Sonia is cheating on me... Well... Ah... Yes, I guess nothing matters anymore. It's not worth giving importance to that subject right now.
She cheated on me, that can't change. What's done is done. The healthiest thing would be to simply end my relationship with her and that's it... But now that Sonia cheated on me, I officially have nothing important in my life anymore.
Why continue living a gray and empty life? I've been deceived.
I thought Sonia loved me. I thought she fell in love with me because of who I am as Daniel and not just because of my good looks... But I guess she didn't fall in love with Daniel, she fell in love with the good-looking face.
Falling in love with someone because of their physical appearance is not love, it's just sexual attraction. But falling in love with someone because of who they are, their personalities, that's romantic love.
I believed that Sonia had fallen in love with me because of who I am and my feelings... I was stupid to believe that was possible.
Life has treated me like garbage. The only good things I had were my grandmother and my friends. But now, my grandmother is dead, Sonia cheated on me, and Cris pities me.
My life has become complete garbage. And what do you do with garbage? You throw it away.
"Yes... But I don't want to disturb your family... I'll be fine... Thank you for telling me, you'll always be my best friend... I-I have to go... I need to rest."
"Yes, I understand."
"And... Well... Tell Sonia that we're done, and that she shouldn't ever talk to me again. It's excessive, but I don't think I can talk to her anymore."
"I agree with your decision. Knowing you, I was already prepared to punch you in case you planned on forgiving her. She may be my sister, but infidelity is never forgiven."
"Yes, I know... Goodbye, Cris... And thank you for everything... Thank you..."
I approached him and hugged him tightly.
"Daniel?"
"Thank you for everything, Cris... Thank you for being a friend to someone like me."
"Daniel..."
"I have to go... Goodbye."
I walk away and start crying even more than before. It really affected me... My heart hurts... A lot... I really loved her. I loved her too much. I thought I would marry her. I wanted her to be the mother of my children... But I guess she didn't love me.
We should have never been together... I'm doomed to not be genuinely loved... I'll say goodbye to this thing called love. I highly doubt I'll ever fall in love again.
I want to end my suffering... I don't want to live anymore.
I'm sorry, grandma... What I'm about to do is very cowardly, but I really can't take it anymore... You died, I can't find a job, I don't have money to buy food, and now Sonia is cheating on me... I know you'll be disappointed in me and I'm sorry, but... I've decided to commit suicide... I'll see you very soon, grandma.
"It's not worth it to keep living."
•
•
Ah... I'm ready.
I stand on a chair and place a rope around my neck. I made a hole in the ceiling and tied the rope to a corner of the ceiling.
I'm in my room that I used to share with my grandmother, which has no furniture and only blankets on the floor that I use as a bed. The floor is dirt and the walls are unpainted... Yes, that's how I lived. Very uncomfortable, but I never complained, I was happy being with my grandmother.
But now that I've lost her, I realize the shortcomings in my life. I can't live like this, and I'm not referring to the state of my home, I mean my mental state. The stress, the pain, the sadness... I can't continue to endure so much pain.
We've never had enough money to improve the house... And I sold the few things I had.
I'm useless, I know it... I know it.
"I'm sorry, grandma... I really can't take it anymore... That's why I'll end my suffering."
I'm about to hang myself, I have the rope around my neck and I'm ready to jump.
I will die... I will die for good... If I didn't want to die, I would have regretted it by now, but I don't want to continue living... I want to be dead.
It's not worth it to keep living. I'm sure my life will never be good, I will always be suffering. The only reason I was happy was because I had my grandmother. Attempts of rape, a rape, bullying, sexual harassment, false accusations... I've suffered it all, and I'm sure I'll suffer more in the future... It would be best to spare myself that suffering and die once and for all.
"My whole life I've been a good person... If there is a God, He would be compassionate towards me and help me. I don't have anyone anymore, I don't have reasons to live."
God, God, God... I was never religious, because God never helped me. Every time I was saved from being raped, it was because I saved myself. God has nothing to do with it.
But my grandmother was very religious... Just because of that, I have hope that God exists and allows me to be reunited with her.
I'm about to jump off the chair and I smile, while tears stream down my eyes. I will die, I will definitely die. There's no turning back.
I am happy and sad... I will die, but soon I will see my grandmother again... I have never been religious, but I hope that paradise exists. I want to see my grandmother again. I want to see my parents. Meet my mother... I want to be reunited with my family, I don't want to be alone anymore.
"This will be over soon."
One... Two... And three.
I jump... I jumped... I will suffer a little, but everything will end. I hope they don't take long to find my corpse.
...
...
...
This death thing is taking a while. I don't even feel any pain.
Something strange is happening... Huh? What?!
I can't move, I'm floating in the air! What's happening?! Is this how it feels to die?
"Eh? Why can't I move?" I said scared and nervous in this unreal situation.
This is too weird. Did I go crazy?
"Wait, wait! Don't do it!"
Suddenly I hear a voice that is not mine... It's the voice of an old man... I don't recognize that voice. Am I really going crazy? Maybe I'm hallucinating because I'm dying of suffocation.
Well, it's not like I'm complaining. If hallucinating avoids the pain, continuing to hallucinate isn't so bad.
"Did you really want to commit suicide?! I thought you would regret it!"
Oh... Hearing that voice scared me a lot and I pale. I heard it as if someone was in front of me. I admit that this hallucinating thing is not so pleasant anymore, I think I prefer to suffer a little.
Uwaaaah! I've gone crazy now! Please, life, let me die in peace!
"Who said that?!" I said scared... No... Terrified.
I'm not afraid of you, hallucinations...! Huh? And who's that?
An old man appeared out of nowhere in front of me. The old man is wearing a completely white suit, he is bald and his eyes are completely white and bright... That old man is so weird. Could he be some kind of angel coming for my soul?
... Ah... Yes, I've gone crazy.
"Hello, Daniel," he said with a smile.
...
...
...
What the hell just happened?! An old man appeared out of nowhere in front of me! This is way too weird! I definitely went crazy. Why can't I have a more normal death?
"Who are you?! And why can't I move?!" I said scared.
This is too weird to be a simple hallucination. It must be an angel who is going to punish me for committing suicide! Ahhhhhh! Suicide did turn out to be punished by God! Forgive me, grandma!
"You can believe me or not, but I am God."
...
...
...
Huh?
"Did you hear me? Don't stay silent. As I told you before, I am God. Pleasure to meet you."
...
...
...
Huh? God? Did I hear correctly? Did he say he is God?
"... God?!"
"That's right. Daniel, I have been observing you for a long time, you are someone pure of heart, something rare in humans... Well, your pure heart is a perfect combination of a normal pure heart and a beautiful soul... You are something very rare."
Huh? Pure of heart? I've read stories about that, but I didn't know it was true... I have a feeling he's telling the truth, but this is too weird.
I would say that I am still hallucinating, but this feels so real that I don't think it's just a hallucination.
"Pure of heart?" I said, confused.
This situation is so strange. Could it really be God?
"You are a very good person, you are perfect for a job that I want you to do."
A job? Is he asking me for help? But why me?
I never imagined that God would give me a job. Did he feel sorry for me? Well, as long as he pays me, I will accept the job. I can't refuse God, my grandmother would never forgive me.
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
He's smiling... He seems friendly. His smile doesn't seem fake.
If he is God, why doesn't he do it himself? He could easily finish the job... Well, after all, he is God. He can do anything.
"Why me? Why don't you do it?"
"My job is to observe and not interfere, but something very bad is happening in world 1 that needs to be solved."
To observe and not interfere, huh? Well, that would explain why he never helped me. My grandmother taught me to be empathetic towards others. I admit I felt a bit resentful towards God for giving me such a painful life, but now that I know he couldn't interfere, I must forget that unnecessary resentment. God is not to blame, I just had bad luck.
... Wait... World 1?
Are there more worlds? Is it an alternate world?
I've heard about it, but I never imagined it could be real.
More worlds... Could there be a world with only women? Could there be a world with animals that can reason and speak? Or are the worlds the same as this one?
Well, whatever it is, it sounds great! Alternate worlds... Cool.
"World 1?"
"It's a parallel world. Let's say there are many worlds. Your world is number 15."
Number 15, huh? That means there are 14 worlds below mine. Does the number just serve to differentiate us or does it reflect the importance or advancement of the world?
Well, that's not important right now.
To hear that God needs me is something I never thought I would hear, but I don't think I would be capable of doing it. I'm useless... I feel useless. There must be millions of better options than me.
"But I..."
"I know you think your life is ruined, but you can move forward. So, you can help me with the job or commit suicide. Consider that if you help me, you could save many worlds, you would be a hero."
... A hero?
Me? Could I be a hero? Those words... For some reason, I don't feel as depressed as before... Could it be that all I needed was to have a purpose in life?
Is God giving me a reason to keep living?
Before, I lived my life just to please my grandmother. She didn't ask me to, but I did it so that she could see that her effort was not in vain. I spent my time studying to be a good student, so that my grandmother would be proud of me, sacrificing my free time.
I lived my life with the sole purpose of making my grandmother feel proud and happy, but now that she's no longer with me, I felt like my life had no purpose anymore.
But now God is giving me a mission, a goal, a purpose. God needs me... Someone needs me... Someone considers me useful.
"A hero?"
"You are someone special, that's why I need you."
S-special...? Me? Is he saying it to make me feel better or am I really special? It would be too egocentric of me to believe that I am really special. He must have said it just to make me feel better... I think.
God extends his right hand to me, while smiling at me.
The hand of God... Literally.
This situation is so strange, but... relaxing.
I don't know what's happening, I don't know what God really wants from me, but it makes me feel like I have a purpose in this life.
"Do you accept?"
Being a hero sounds great, and God himself is choosing me for the job. It's something I shouldn't refuse... No, I can't refuse.
God, out of millions of people, chose me. I don't know if I'm hallucinating or if I fell into a coma and I'm dreaming, but I don't care, I'll go with the flow even if it's just a simple dream.
"I guess I can't refuse God. I-I will do it," I said with a nervous smile.
I must smile at God to show him that I trust him and his words, but my nervousness betrays me. After all, who wouldn't be nervous in such a strange situation?
God raised his hand and caressed my head. It feels good. It's a pleasant sensation.
It would feel strange if an old man I barely know caressed my head, but this old man is God, a kind being. I must not distrust him.
"You have made the right decision."
... Huh? Eh?!
Everything around me started spinning! Am I inside a whirlwind?! What's happening?!
•
•
After God and Daniel disappeared out of nowhere, small rays started coming out of the rope. Why? Because of the direct contact with the magic of a God.
And that small mistake would bring consequences.