“So… it was a meteor shower that put the station into lockdown?”

“Yes.”

“...and that knocked out the human ship’s… ‘superluminal communications system’”

“Correct.”

“It just… doesn’t make a lot of sense, Ozis. Mediary stations have point defense for debris. They have long-range sensors to track items for weeks until they get in range.”

Every exchange of this awful conversation made me wish that the humans had given me more details to make the deception believable. I’d have to try and make something up on the spot.

“...Well, they told me that whatever method they use for FTL malfunctioned and brought debris near the ship from earlier targeting practice with it, which then crashed into the station as they came out of FTL.”

“What about all the station crew that described it as an attack? That the humans aboard the station all retreated into their ship quickly and that alarms were blaring?”

“...The debris was behind the human ship, detected moments before they struck, they made an emergency detach to get out of the way. Unfortunately, some of them still connected, resulting in the communications system being down. The station crew would have immediately moved to bulkhead panic rooms.”

The Rink bureaucrat sitting across from me silently looked at me after that statement. Or, well, focused on me, they didn’t have eyes. It was slightly unnerving, as small sensory tendrils on his “face” moved in my direction like they were trying to escape his body and attack me.

“So these humans have radius-based FTL that is inaccurate enough that it brought debris along with it… behind the craft?”

I had subconsciously been making myself smaller in my seat. “...Yes, they’re newly space-faring.”

“Then why did you describe it as a meteor shower?”

“I thought it got the point across and was easier to say than ‘malfunctioning FTL drive brought debris along with the ship which then hit the craft and station causing damage’”

“Look, Ozis, I know we’ll never meet again but next time you get debriefed can you just tell them exactly what happened first so they don’t have to interrogate you?”

I sat up, he had finally relaxed. “Yes, of course. I apologize, I was only trying to make this easier.”

“Thank you, I’ll waive your missing status, and write in your reason for absence from contact.”

I stood up and made my way to duck under the door.

“Oh, and you might want to get your uniform cleaned, that ship left you with a weird, acrid metallic smell.”

That was a funny thought. He was describing the smell from the weapons the humans were using. The chemical propellant released a harsh odor. Slightly annoying to me, but I’m sure it was near unbearable to his senses. Impressive composure. I walked out of the room to the landing bay to get back on the transport ship the humans had provided. It was clearly a military ship, likely for troop deployment, as the interior was lined with seats with little luxuries. “U.S. Marines” was blazoned on the side of it.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“So how’d that go?”

“You know, Gerrick, I read that there are billions of humans on Earth alone, and I’m guessing about a thousand crew on your ship. I didn’t know I was so charming as to get you following me around personally.”

He chuckled and lowered his sun visor. “Don’t flatter yourself, I was assigned to guard you personally, so if anyone has a hard-on for you it’s the U.S. government.”

“What does that mean?”

“Don’t worry about it, we’ve got to get going, it’ll take quite a while to break atmosphere and get into stable orbit before we can rendezvous with the Indianapolis.”

We had stopped in the first available system with a federation guarded planet. This meant there was at least one military administration complex that I could check-in at. Other than that, it was a small agricultural planet, which did have the desirable effect of making the trip up very pretty to look at. Gerrick hadn’t been allowed in, as humans are not registered federation members. Not yet, anyway. He also likely wouldn’t have been allowed in anyway considering he was dressed in full battle armor and likely would refuse to surrender his sidearm. It was refreshing to be in a familiar place though, the same building and uniform aesthetic I was used to. Finally, the humans were the ones out of place.

“Is that the first-ever non-Earth planet you’ve been on?”

Gerrick made a face, sort of solemn like he was looking at nothing. However, he quickly turned and looked out the small window behind him. “Actually no, but this is strangely familiar. Lots of green.”

I sat turned around, resting my head on the back of my seat. “Most of the plants are a deep purple where I’m from.”

“Is that common?”

“Not particularly, plants on most planets are green or pinkish. To those with our level of color perception anyway.”

That made Gerrick laugh, which seemed like a weird response.

“What’s funny about that?”

“Oh, I’m just imagining what we’ll look like if we’re given pink camouflage uniforms.”

“Pink uniforms would be funny?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. All of our camouflage is greens, browns, and tans. Sometimes blues. Pink is just considered a… childish color.”

“Human culture is weird.”

“You have no idea.”

I managed to fall asleep on the rest of the trip out of the atmosphere. Gerrick lightly shook me awake as we were beginning docking with the cruiser. The gentle hum of the air purifier in the transport knocked me right out. The back wall of the transport would lower down when opened, creating a ramp to exit. We were standing in front of it, waiting for it to open.

“You make noises when you sleep.”

“What?”

“You were making a soft buzzing sound, like purring.”

“I don’t do that.”

He shrugged. “Just telling you what I heard.”

The transport stopped with a thud, and the pressure equalized for a few seconds before the ramp opened, leading down into that familiar hangar I’d been in before.

“Captain Vox wanted you to report to the bridge as soon as we returned. Do you remember how to get there?”

“I believe so, it’s all clearly labeled anyway.”

Every level of this ship that didn’t have an elevator had a ramped surface to walk up alongside a larger set of steps, but those were harsher on my anatomy.

After going up the elevator, I went toward the large blast door that led to the bridge. The guards there must have known I was coming and opened the door for me. The captain in her usual white uniform beckoned me over to a meeting table in the bridge. She sat down and took off her head garment again.

“So… Did they buy it?”

“Buy what?”

“No, I mean, did they believe what you told them?”

“Yes, they marked me as being no longer absent in the system, and imputed equipment malfunction via debris impact as the cause.”

“That’s brilliant, Ozis. You made the right decision.”

“Did I? I’m still not sure if I agree with you that the federation shouldn’t get involved.”

“Hopefully I’ll be proven right in the coming conflicts, which leads me into a question.”

“You’re not going to make me lie again, are you?”

“Oh no, no. That was awful to have to do to you. Rest assured, all acts of espionage will be committed by willing humans. The admiralty has asked that I ask you to stay with us longer, though you would of course be allowed to collect more personal effects from wherever you live.”

“But… why? I already did what I came here for, and I’m no diplomat.”

“That’s precisely the reason, you’re no diplomat. We want you as basically a civilian advisor, someone that isn’t just going to tell us what we want to hear and that doesn’t have a political agenda. Also, you haven’t seen half of the weapons we have to offer, I’m sure your superiors would be willing to have you stay with us longer to surveil more of our military.”

There were two thoughts about this. One was what I should have been thinking. That is: No, I want to go back to my station and get out of the chaos that has put me in a dangerous situation more than once. The less rational thought was that these few cycles had been way more interesting than anything I had experienced prior, and that the humans were strangely relatable. However, given the uncomfortable nature of sitting silently while someone is expecting a response…

“I will ask if this is acceptable.”