As Scott drove back to the dorm, thoughts were swirling in his head. Melinda White was a huge disappointment - not only did she look like a crazy homeless lady, but she babbled a stream of words that made no sense. Why had the stupid program decided she had potential as a CEO? It was silly to expect bug free code from something called Glitch_HR, but he had really built up the expectation in his head. She was supposed to be some up and coming, charitable powerhouse. Weirdly, he wasn’t as disappointed as he expected. Instead, he just felt like there was a puzzle he needed to solve.
After he asked his questions, she babbled non-stop for several minutes. Some of the words seemed related to what he had asked her. Was it possible she was answering his questions, but just jumbled up the words? At first when he hit record, he had this idea of decoding her scrambled words and uncovering treasure. But now, driving home, he had a sinking feeling this was a big waste of time. It’s not like he was going to type in everything she said and somehow decode it. It would take hours, maybe days of work. He thought it would be easier just to find someone else, or maybe just do some training and get a cool job somewhere with his new skills.
Returning to his room, Scott had all but given up on trying to decode Ms. White’s ramblings. He was supposed to meet with his friends in a few hours. They had been playing with Glitch for a week now and he figured they would get a good laugh about his adventure with crazy homeless people. To kill some time, he pulled up the Skill Trainer just to see if there was anything interesting. The list changed frequently - there must be some process running that adjusted the rankings. Was it possible the algorithm was somehow self-improving? He had seen the code for that module get a new timestamp without him personally changing anything.
First on the list was a tutorial on adding speech to text functionality to any program. He had only planned on browsing, but that sounded like a really cool feature to add to programs. No chance it would be easy though. Regardless, he was curious, so he opened the article.
It was surprisingly easy. There was another free API he could use that did all the hard work. It took a bit of configuration, but he was able to get a test program running in less than 15 minutes after he read the article. To test this, he played back his recording from the morning, and it produced a text file with a transcript of their conversation.
He had talked himself out of trying to unscramble her rambling. A reason he wanted to give up was that he didn’t want to type in everything. He checked the training list - would there be some article explaining how to decode babbling crazy people? Unfortunately, the answer was no, though he bookmarked a few interesting topics to check out later.
OK, looked like he was going to have to earn his prestigious title of Junior Programmer. He remembered another article he had read about using AI neural networks to automate certain coding tasks. It wasn’t that much different from the original effort that built Glitch. His improved memory recalled that this was based on an article posted by Theofanis Zervou - the Algerian job stealer. This guy didn’t get to be the top Junior programmer in the world for nothing, so Scott shamelessly stole his ideas. He patched together a program to try sorting words and attempting to match logical sentence structure. It was a shaky assumption that unscrambling the words would make any sense. Still, if it worked this was a lot easier than just some brute force attempt to decode all combinations. If this didn’t work, his whole morning was a waste of time, but at least he got some practice coding something more advanced than what he tried in class.
Tinkering with the program for an hour, it was running through a large number of permutations looking for possible valid sentences. He made a quick adjustment to discard options manually so he could direct training the neural networks. A half hour later and the list of potential solutions went from millions down to a few hundred. He had to meet with his friends soon, but he felt like he was almost at the finish line. Clicking through and discarding a few dozen more options, he paused the program and re-trained the networks. This time the list only had 23 choices. Skimming through he quickly identified one that was coherent, and he used his speed reading tricks to commit it to his short-term memory. It was very interesting, but he needed to go meet with his friends. Now, he was excited to discuss the results of “Operation: Find the CEO”.
The three friends met at Wedge Pizza. They had all loaded up on pizza and drinks. Their green soda fountain was working again so all three were getting re-charged on caffeine. They would likely have trouble sleeping tonight - even without any additional excitement. All three looked like they were bursting to share details about their week. This was a change from usual. Typically, they sat chewing on their food and watching television before starting conversation.
“OK, I need to start!” Matt said. “Your program is amazing! I read a bunch of articles about designing robots. I even found a free tool that NASA shared with the public which lets you design robots in a CAD program. They claimed they used it to make one of the Mars rovers! I don’t have a budget to fabricate parts like NASA does, but there are a group of engineers who are modifying it to convert your basic design into something using off the shelf parts. I started designing a battle robot! Still working on it, but the parts will only cost a few thousand dollars to build.”
“You idiot!” Barry laughed. “We already talked about the Glitch AI building robots to take over the world and now you gave it a design to get started!”
“Well, you are helping it figure out how to build a cheap hydrogen bomb - so you hardly have room to talk!” Matt replied. He laughed, but then stopped and looked a bit worried.
“Um, when I say it out loud it doesn’t seem as funny.”
“Don’t worry, I put my fusion research on hold for a while so we should be safe for a few weeks.” Barry was not capable of worrying about consequences. “Anyway, I was learning some really cool stuff about extruding advanced composite materials. You can build beams or plates of stuff with really advanced and customized properties. The equipment is still way out of my price range. There are some German and Brazilian scientists working on this, but it seems pretty far from commercialization. Somehow, their internal research was shared on the darknet! I have no idea how your software is getting this stuff. Both teams are struggling but they have each solved the other team’s problem. Except they obviously don’t know it! I’m guessing they are trying to keep their progress to themselves, so they are years away from a solution unless they work together!”
“Hah, that is pretty tragic! Also, amazing that Glitch was able to find this stuff and put it close enough together for you to work this out!” Scott added. “I feel like when we are a real company, we should make an effort to hire or license tech from people like this who have solved part of a puzzle but aren’t able to finish. There has got to be serious value in bringing things together like this.”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
“We could also just steal it and beat them all… just kidding!” Barry said. “I agree, there is plenty of money to be made just getting the right people together without abusing our power and becoming super villains.”
“So, Scott…” Matt said, “you also look like you had something to say. Did you get up the nerve to meet our future CEO? Was she smokin’ hot?”
Scott couldn’t help chuckling, picturing the crazy old lady with hair sticking up. “I’d be happy to set you up on a date with her.” He went on to describe his adventure this morning. “Anyway, as crazy as all that was, the best part is that I was able to unscramble what she said. She actually answered my questions.”
“No way…” Barry said. “OK, spill it! Tell us what she said!”
“I thought my memory was enough, but I need to pull this up on my phone.” Scott said. He had saved the decoded text on his cloud drive, and after a minute was able to pull it up. “OK, got it. I’ll read to you the questions I asked and what her answer was.” But first I’m going to play the original recording because it is kind of funny. His friends groaned but laughed to hear Melinda’s excited babbling.
“Woah! She talks pretty fast”. Barry said.
“Yeah, and her head is twitching around looking in different directions the whole time. Anyway, here is the Crazy to English translation” Scott said, with quite a bit of pride.
1. “Should we be trying to sell this software? We have some concerns about ownership - it may be the property of Russian gangsters and seems to be violating a lot of US privacy laws.”
“You should absolutely not sell this software or any part of it. You have clearly found a rare competitive and strategic advantage. While you and your friends have some skills, there are millions with similar abilities who likely have better connections and funding. If they had the same tool, others could leverage it more effectively. You would be painting a target on yourselves for corporate espionage, even leaving aside concerns with Russians who may feel they have a better claim of ownership. Also, anything that violates privacy laws should be kept as secret as possible - both for your benefit and to protect others who you might accidentally expose to malicious actors.”
1. “We need cash flow. Do you have any ideas on how we could get funding?”
Cash flow is not relevant initially. It would be a waste of effort trying to establish a marginally profitable sub-business to fund more ambitious opportunities. A better idea would be to come up with a business plan with a 3-5 year execution window that leverages your skills and advantages. Find an investor and get them to finance your initial operations rather than draining time and effort building early cash flow. It’s also important that you protect certain facets of the business so that if your growth exceeds the initial plan, we could gain control of a larger share of operations.
1. “Why do you think my software recommended you as the CEO of the company?”
I’m assuming you are eventually able to understand what I am saying. I would conclude that your software has a genius level ability to match assets and opportunities. Dozens of doctors and therapists have failed to understand me, so if you succeed it would indicate you (or your software) are extremely talented at spotting undervalued opportunities. I have a diverse range of interests which could take a technology company forward in many directions. My brain operates like 5 people crowded in one person. We have trouble communicating with others, but I believe we have advantages that would be difficult to match. Assuming we could solve the primary issue.
I have excellent attention to detail and believe I can help spot potential in undervalued assets. I also feel that my ability to engage fully with multiple ongoing projects would be a strong skill for a CEO. I am aware of the difficulty my appearance, communication and lack of resources presents. Clearly, if your software picked me, it was devaluing my deficiencies due to my willingness to work without salary for the first year. I am willing to accept compensation in equity and assistance working around my difficulties. It is likely your software found very few candidates willing to put in the quality of work I can provide in exchange for equity in an unknown company given you have no revenue or business plan.
1. What’s the deal with that guy in the parking lot living in a box?”
“Carl obviously has a brain tumor. He does not have family or friends who can help him gain access to a brain surgeon capable of the rather dangerous operation needed to help him. Not to mention the resources to help him with rehabilitation and recovery. Social services are just not equipped to handle something like this. I am not a doctor, but I have studied brain anatomy extensively to try to understand my own condition. Unlike me, I think Carl can be fixed and I had briefly considered performing the surgery myself. I felt like the risk of imprisonment for performing an illegal brain surgery made it likely I would not be around to help him with the recovery process. I did acquire the tools needed in case the opportunity presented itself.”
“Whoa - I was liking Melinda until she admitted she wants to carve up Carl if she gets the chance” Matt said.
“Anyway, I feel like she answered my questions pretty well. In addition to those answers, she also added the following:”
I’m hopeful you somehow decode this, so I’m going to add a bit of free advice. Inferring a few things based on what you told me: You have a significant advantage in finding information and undervalued people, so you should aim for something big. First you should be willing to give up controlling interest in something that sounds exciting if it is just a stepping stone to more ambitious projects that you would control. Based on what you told me of your friends' skills, a good fit for the initial business plan would be undersea mining. This touches on robotics, material science and AI programming. There are vast, untapped resources which would be appealing to an investor.
This leaves a much larger path forward opening up other opportunities like undersea real estate, and technologies developed in international waters that would be outside of governmental control. Not to mention a host of supporting technologies that could corner the emerging market. Success in this arena could easily translate to operations in other hostile environments like Antarctica or locations outside of Earth in the local solar system.
“Whoa!” said Barry.
“Exactly. So, who votes we hire Melinda White as our CEO?” Scott asked.
The others nodded, looking a bit shocked.
The next day, Scott returned to the Spring Vale homeless shelter. This time he said hi to Carl in the parking lot and handed him a bottle of water and a sandwich. Carl poured the water on his head and sat on the sandwich. Oh well.
Inside, Scott asked the woman who worked here if he could speak again with Melinda. She looked surprised.
“Well, the old girl looked happy after your last visit, so why not?” Tara, the lady who worked here replied. She yelled up to Melinda upstairs.
Melinda came down. Today her hair was neatly brushed and tied back so you couldn’t see her chopped up haircut. She looked a lot cleaner and didn’t smell. Even her clothes were clean, and it looked like the holes had been patched or sewn. She had a hopeful smile that seemed to take about 10 years off her weathered face.
“So…” Scott said. He started his phone recording and placed it on one of the lunch tables. “I was able to unscramble what you said yesterday. My friends and I were impressed.”
Melinda nodded expectantly.
“We want you to be the CEO of our company. Communication is going to be a bit difficult at first, but I’m hoping I can improve the code to help understand what you are saying. It sounded like you were interested and had some great ideas. We like the idea of a business plan and getting an investor. We also agree with your strategic vision. If there is anything you would like to tell us, I’ll let you talk and then I’ll try to figure it out. I guess that’s it for now, so go ahead and tell me anything you think we need to know or should be working on this week.”
Melinda looked excited and started babbling a bunch of nonsense. Scott had no clue what she was saying but heard some interesting bits that he couldn’t wait to understand better. She continued talking for about 15 minutes then sat still with a smile. She even seemed to be crying a bit. Scott couldn’t begin to understand, but he went over and gave her a hug. Even if their company didn’t succeed it felt really good to give this poor, sweet woman something to be happy about.