The familiar scent of ozone hit me first, then the cold, sterile white light of the summoning chamber. I opened my eyes, meeting Dodon's emotionless gaze with a weary sigh.
'Round four. Let's get this over with.'
Before the usual "Strange" could even escape Dodon's lips, I was already diving into my mental inventory.
'Blessing Inventory.'
New Unlocked Blessing Available:
Mind Skill Gain Multiplier (Passive) (x3): Multiplies the rate at which you gain experience in all Mind-based Skills by x3.
'Bingo.'
'Slot it.'
Blessings:
Permanent Blessings (2/2):
Divine Identification (Locked In)
Authority of the Time Loop (Locked In)
Temporary Blessing Slots (3/3):
Body Skill Gain Multiplier (Passive) (x3)
Subterfuge Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x2)
Mind Skill Gain Multiplier (Passive) (x3)
'Time to experiment.'
I had a theory. The way these guards reacted to me, their level of suspicion, their willingness to bring along backup... it seemed linked to my own behavior. When I was confident, bordering on arrogant, they viewed me as a potential threat, a disruption to their carefully controlled order. But when I played the part of the meek, broken prisoner, they largely ignored me.
'Let's see if I can push this a little further.'
This time, I decided to play the scared rabbit. I wanted just 'Jin' hauling me off to my cell, not a whole entourage of scowling guards.
Dodon stepped closer, his hand reaching for my arm. I flinched back, my eyes widening in exaggerated fear. "Please," I whimpered, my voice trembling. "Don't hurt me!"
It was a pathetic performance, even to my own ears.
Skill Gained: Bad Acting (Mind/Subterfuge)(-2 Evol) is now level 1!
Skill Gained: Obvious Lying (Mind/Subterfuge)(-2 Evol) is now level 1!
The notifications confirmed my suspicions. This world, with its system and its blessings, even governed the art of deception.
"What are you doing?" Dodon's voice was flat, devoid of the usual irritation. Instead, there was a hint of… bewilderment?
I glanced around. Six guards, their faces grim, surrounded me. Clearly, my attempt at playing the frightened prisoner had backfired spectacularly.
“Why are you acting afraid?” One of the guards, a hulking brute with a scarred face, growled. “You should be legitimately afraid.”
'Right. Adjust the strategy.' I shifted gears, adopting an air of nonchalance, trying to project an aura of unconcerned boredom. “Whatever,” I shrugged. “This is all just a big misunderstanding, right? I'm sure you'll figure it out eventually.”
Skill Increased: Bad Acting (Mind/Subterfuge)(-2 Evol) is now level 5!
Skill Increased: Obvious Lying (Mind/Subterfuge)(-2 Evol) is now level 6!
The notifications blinked into existence, the numbers climbing rapidly as I cycled through various emotions: confusion, amusement, even a fleeting moment of what I hoped passed for genuine interest in the architecture of the summoning chamber.
The guards exchanged uneasy glances. My rapid-fire shifts in demeanor, my increasingly outlandish pronouncements, seemed to have thrown them off balance.
More and more guards came in to focus on the spectacle.
After a while their bafflement turned to caution and anger.
“Maybe I'm just a passing pink flamingo,” I declared, striking a leg lifting pose I vaguely remembered from a yoga class I'd taken years ago.
CRITICAL SUCCESS! LARGE AUDIENCE BONUS! BELIEF BONUS! IMPOSSIBLE STATEMENT BONUS!
Skill Evolved! Professional Overacting (Mind/Subterfuge/Body)(-1 Evol) has evolved into Acting (Mind/Subterfuge/Body)!
Skill Evolved! Probable Lying (Mind/Subterfuge)(-1 Evol) has evolved into Lying (Mind/Subterfuge)!
Skill Increased: Acting (Mind/Subterfuge/Body) is now level 27!
Skill Increased: Lying (Mind/Subterfuge) is now level 8!
For a brief moment, I saw it—a flicker of doubt in Dodon's eyes. He actually seemed to consider, for the tiniest fraction of a second, that I might be something other than a prisoner awaiting his fate.
In fact. I must be a passing pink flamingo.
It must be the truth, afterall. I had said it.
Then, the flicker vanished, replaced by a cold fury.
"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Dodon snarled, his voice laced with venom and reaching the far reaches of the room in a shout. He gestured to the assembled guards, his frustration palpable. "Get him to the orb. Now!"
What started as six guards quickly escalated to ten, then twenty, then… well, I lost count somewhere around fifty. It was like a parade of scowling steel, a ridiculous display of overkill that would have been comical if I wasn't at the center of it.
'Well, that escalated quickly,' I thought, suppressing a laugh. 'Shortest loop yet, but definitely the most entertaining.'
The march to the orb chamber was a blur of grim faces and clanking armor. They were taking no chances this time. Not that it mattered. They were all going to die anyway.
And as I placed my hand on the orb, feeling the familiar surge of energy as it flickered gold and then blazed with a blinding red light, I allowed myself a final, mocking smile.
"Fuck you, bitches," I whispered, offering a crisp, two-fingered salute as the world exploded around us.
Back to the beginning.
"Strange," Dodon muttered, his voice tinged with confusion as I opened my eyes once more, the mannequins staring blankly back at me.
'This is going to be fun.'
This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.
Another loop down. Time to up the ante,' I thought, a mischievous grin spreading across my face.
New Unlocked Blessing Available:
Movement Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x3): Increases the rate at which you gain experience in all Movement-related Body Skills by 3x.
'Interesting,' I mused, examining the description. This could be useful for developing my agility and stealth, but…
'Nah.' The allure of pushing my deception skills further, especially with this accidental synergy I'd stumbled upon, was too tempting to resist.
'Let's see how far down the rabbit hole we can go.'
I straightened my posture, adopting a serious expression that felt completely foreign after all the goofy antics of the previous loop. The guards stiffened, their hands instinctively drifting towards their weapons.
I cleared my throat, my voice ringing with mock authority. "My apologies for the delay, gentlemen. I am your Emperor. Take me to your other Emperor."
The silence that followed was thick with disbelief. The guards exchanged bewildered glances, their expressions ranging from amusement to outright contempt.
Skill Increased: Acting (Mind/Subterfuge/Body) is now level 31!
Skill Increased: Lying (Mind/Subterfuge) is now level 10!
I barely registered the notifications. Their reactions, the way their carefully controlled facade crumbled in the face of my absurd claim, was far more satisfying.
Dodon's reaction was the most entertaining. His initial bewilderment quickly morphed into a cold fury, his hand twitching towards his sword hilt.
"You insolent-"
He never got to finish the sentence to my perception.The flash of steel was a blur, the searing pain an unwelcome but familiar sensation as I was split head to middle and died.
Skill Increased: Pain Tolerance (Body) is now level 11.
'Back to the drawing board,' I thought, the familiar scent of ozone filling my nostrils as I was ripped back to the beginning. 'But this is definitely fun, despite how much that hurts. Note to self, dying hurts especially when it’s not instant. I knew that. But being reminded of it sucks.'
"Strange," Dodon's voice rasped, the sound grating against my nerves like sandpaper. I didn't even bother acknowledging him this time. His predictable pronouncements were starting to grate on me, even in this early stage of the loop.
'Let's see what we've got to play with this time.'
'Blessing Inventory.'
New Unlocked Blessing Available:
Subterfuge Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x2): Increases the rate at which you gain experience in all Subterfuge-based Skills by x2.
'A duplicate,' I noted, a flicker of curiosity sparking within me. 'What happens if I try to stack these?'
I focused on the new blessing, mentally dragging it towards the already slotted Subterfuge Skill Aptitude blessing. The system responded with a soft chime, and a small notification appeared next to the existing blessing as I examined the updated blessing description.
Subterfuge Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x2)(⅓ Added): Increases the rate at which you gain experience in all Subterfuge-based Skills by x2.
'Huh,' I thought, a little disappointed. 'No immediate increase in effectiveness. Guess I'll need three duplicates before it actually boosts the multiplier.'
It was a minor setback, but it did confirm that stacking blessings was possible. Another piece of the puzzle in place.
'Time to get back to work,' I thought, I had a feeling this loop was going to be a productive one- even if it was short.
"Hear ye, hear ye, inhabitants of this mundane realm!" I boomed, my voice echoing through the chamber. "I, the Divine Gigolo of All Creation, stand before you! I have procreated with all thine mothers, and therefore, I am your father!"
Instead of amusement, a wave of anger and disgust rippled through the assembled guards. Their hands tightened on their weapons, their expressions hardening into scowls. These were hardened soldiers, products of a brutal empire, not easily amused by an outsider's antics.
Dodon's face, hidden behind the impassive mask of his helmet, was impossible to read, but the rigid set of his shoulders and the way his hand twitched towards his sword hilt spoke volumes.
'Good,' I thought, a predatory grin spreading across my face. 'Let the rage flow.'
My gaze settled on the young guard with sandy hair.
'Divine Identification.'
Name: Luxlie
...
'Luxlie… Luke. It fits.'
I pointed at him, my voice dripping with false sincerity.
"I am your father, Luke!"
The air crackled with tension. The other guards turned to stare at Luxlie, their expressions a mixture of confusion and contempt. He stood frozen for a moment, his face paling beneath his helmet.
CRITICAL SUCCESS! INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE BONUS! TARGETED INSULT BONUS!
Skill Increased: Acting (Mind/Subterfuge/Body) is now level 37!
Skill Increased: Lying (Mind/Subterfuge) is now level 17!
Taunt (Mind)(Active): Is now Level 20
For a fleeting moment, I saw a flicker of doubt, of raw terror, in Luxlie's eyes. Has my absurd claim struck a nerve? Had I somehow tapped into a hidden truth, a secret he'd buried deep within himself? Did he need a father? Because screw that guy I aint paying alimony for someone I don’t even know! I am lying, you know?
Then, the doubt vanished, replaced by a blinding rage.
"You bastard!" Luxlie roared, his voice thick with fury. He lunged at me, his sword flashing, his face contorted in a mask of hate.
'Well, that escalated quickly,' I thought, barely able to suppress a laugh as the world dissolved into a blur of motion and pain. 'This loop's gonna be a short one.'
—
The scent of ozone, the cold, hard floor beneath my cheek… back to square one.
"Strange," Dodon droned, his voice flat and emotionless.
'Yeah, yeah, you and me both, buddy,' I thought, pushing myself to my feet. The mannequins stared back with their usual vacant gazes, but I barely even noticed them anymore. They were just… there. Part of the scenery.
'Time for a change of plans.'
My deception skills had been leveling up at a satisfying rate, but the last loop had shown me that there were limits to how far I could push it, at least for now. The guards were becoming more wary, less susceptible to my antics.
'Besides,' I thought with a wry grin, 'it's probably not a good idea to keep pissing off the guys with swords.'
'Blessing Inventory.'
New Unlocked Blessing Available:
Cooking Aptitude (Passive) (x7): Increases the rate at which you gain experience in all Cooking-based Skills by x7.
'Cooking?' I stared at the description, baffled. 'Seriously? What the hell am I supposed to do with that in here?'
I wasn't exactly whipping up gourmet meals in my cell. The guards barely even bothered to give me water, let alone ingredients.
'Maybe later,' I thought, dismissing the cooking blessing with a mental shrug. 'Right now, I need something a little more… practical.'
I swapped out the Mind Skill Gain Multiplier for the Movement Skill Aptitude blessing that had been lingering in my inventory. It wasn't ideal—I'd been hoping for something a little more combat-oriented—but it would have to do.
Blessings:
Permanent Blessings (2/2):
Divine Identification (Locked In)
Authority of the Time Loop (Locked In)
Temporary Blessing Slots (3/3):
Body Skill Gain Multiplier (Passive) (x3)
Subterfuge Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x2)
Movement Skill Aptitude (Passive) (x3)
'Alright,' I thought, 'No dialogue this time,' I thought, a mischievous grin spreading across my face. 'Let's see if I can communicate purely through the art of interpretive dance.'
I started with a series of exaggerated stretches, my limbs flailing like a marionette with tangled strings. Then, with a flourish, I launched into a full-blown dance routine, a chaotic blend of ballet, and whatever random moves popped into my head.
The guards, caught off guard by my sudden burst of energy, stumbled back, their expressions a mix of confusion and alarm. Dodon's eyes narrowed, his hand instinctively hovering near his sword hilt.
'Excellent,' I thought, twirling on my heel and striking a pose that would have made a yoga instructor proud. 'Hook, line, and sinker.'
I kept dancing as they dragged me from the chamber, my movements growing more erratic and outlandish with every step. I pirouetted down hallways, did the worm across the cold stone floor, and even attempted a headstand against a particularly ornate pillar which ended rather abruptly and painfully as I slipped, but hey, pain was temporary, style was eternal.
The guards surrounding me exchanged nervous glances, their hands never straying far from their weapons. Their confusion was palpable, a delicious cocktail of uncertainty and bafflement that fueled my performance.
'They have no idea what to make of me,' I thought, relishing their discomfort. 'And that's exactly how I like it.'
By the time we reached my cell, I was drenched in sweat, my muscles aching, and my lungs burning. But it was worth it. The six guards posted outside my cell, their faces drawn and wary, three of them bearing the unmistakable blank stares of mind-slaves, were a testament to my success.
'Mission accomplished,' I thought.
'Now, time for some real work.' My mind began moving just as fast as my body as I started doing flips and jumps around the cell.