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HUM: Of humans and other mistakes Volume 1
Behold an unthinkable squirrel

Behold an unthinkable squirrel

image [https://i.imgur.com/mAa71Ds.jpeg]

No panties, hands empty. Dora sighed and wanted to die. Why could nothing ever go the way she wanted it to? Now, she was back in the snowy version of this place. Disappointment shifted to surprise, though, when she noticed the cold wasn’t as biting as before. It felt more like a mild winter back home. “Heh, I probably just got hardened over the past days because I'm such a badass.” She patted herself down. “Huh? What’s that?” She felt a thickly padded jacket—yet when she looked down, she was still in her old sleeveless fur jacket from the decrepit bunker. As she took a step forward, her foot slowly crunched into the snow, leaving an imprint behind.

A grey-haired man with a bald spot and a thick moustache strode over, wearing science goggles and a white lab coat. He barked something in a foreign language, startling Dora. From his tone, she guessed he was giving her an order. I don’t understand what the people here are saying! I guess the only way is to bullshit my way through this and pray that it will work out! Somehow.

“Uh, aye aye, captain!” She raised her hand in a clumsy salute, pretending to understand. To her relief, he walked past her. Once again, the almighty Dora remains undefeated!

“Terminator Dora on her way.” She marched toward the steel building, which sparked a flicker of nostalgia. Where have I seen this place? It feels familiar… but how? She shook her head, trying to shake the thought away.

The building had a flat roof lined with solar panels, an unusual sight in her world, where nuclear power and fossil fuels were the norm. How curious. Until now I have never seen those things in real life. Well, if you could call this real life. I had only seen solar panels on sci-fi shows and movies before. Just how much funding are these guys getting? It is odd to come across them like this and now of all times. Dora looked up at the sky. How effective could they be in a place like this, with its imitation sun? She could hear rumbling from the inside of the building. Clearly the inhabitants must have been hard at work.

The door slid open automatically with a soft hum. “Whoa. Cool.” She grinned, fingers to her ear as she mumbled, “Agent Dora here. I’m in.” She yelped as the door snapped shut, bumping her a few times before she rushed inside.

A pleasant gust of warm air greeted her, making her sigh with satisfaction. But it vanished as quickly as it came, leaving her feeling oddly hollow. She glanced around. She was in a sterile-looking lobby with a low metal desk where a soldier in white-grey camouflage filled out paperwork. He greeted her in the foreign language. And continued scribbling over the white paper, making scratching sounds.

“Uh… yeah, and a hearty hello to you too, fellow human.” She scratched her head and wandered past him. Her shoes squeaked across the pathologically clean floor plates. The cold, silvery metal floor stretched past the lobby, lined with doors on both sides labelled with pictograms rather than words. Hospitals aren’t even this sterile, she thought, shivering. So what are they doing here? Clearly they aren’t performing surgery or operations, at least not on people. Her eyes shot open and she gasped. Or it’s like those rumours about underground bases where they do perform surgeries on people against their will! People they had previously abducted. And now they are turning them into bat-human hybrid things. This is not good. This is scary. Maybe I should just wing it. No, uhh, leg it, I mean. Argh!

“Hah! Handy.” She smirked at the icons. The door on her right, marked with a box symbol, seemed to lead to storage. Dora glanced over her shoulder, then slipped quietly through the door, leaving it slightly open.

Inside, shelves lined with metal cupboards held jerry cans and neatly stacked food cans. A scrumptious smell hit her, making her mouth water. Smoked meat, cheese, but also sweet fruits. They were rich in sugars, so they would give them a lot of energy, should Dora manage to smuggle out a few jars. “Ehehe. Natalya’s gonna love me for this.” Though she didn’t know her favourite girl’s preferred food, Dora grabbed a jar of pickled corn for her and one of pickled peaches—for Jennifer. They clacked against the jars around them, making a high bling sound.

As she tucked the jars away, a memory flashed. Harriet had once offered her sugared peaches after a card game victory, but Dora, stubborn as ever, had swatted the jar away, leaving Harriet to sadly eat the dirtied peaches herself. Dora’s lips quivered. I know, I know. This was a shitty move. But what was I supposed to do? Harriet threatened to kill me multiple times and let’s be honest, she did seem weird. What if she would have killed or poisoned me for real? I was just being careful! She popped open the lid of the jar in her hands, surprised at how easy it was to open this time. She reached into the sugary water and bit into a peach half, savouring the sweetness as it slid down her throat, leaving her feeling a little stronger and a lot lighter. She swallowed with delight and smacked her lips together, living the moment. Her mouth felt sugary and tangy.

Her fingers tingled as she stuffed the jar as well as a jar of pickled corn into her jacket. Weird… It felt like fabric was clinging to her hands, but they were bare as they had been since she’d arrived with Natalya and Jennifer.

Slipping out of the storage room, she stubbed her toe on a crate, biting back a yelp as she glanced down at another door with a microscope icon. A lab? she thought, cautiously stepping inside.

The first thing she noticed was the chlorine odour she knew from swimming halls. It bit into her nose and made her feel uncomfortable. Just like at the dentist’s. Creepy! The light flickered abruptly as found two men, one performing a titration and another peering through a microscope, but they ignored her presence. Their breath was subtle, but focused. An indication for how quiet this room was as it was the only thing she could hear it aside from drops plinking into a test tube. No, that was not quite right. There was a monotonous buzzing coming from one place. She looked around. Dora’s eyes widened as she spotted a small, futuristic-looking computer. “What the… how is it so tiny?” She examined the flat screen, mumbling, “And why are the colours so bright?” It was perfectly quiet, too. Unlike the computers at home that hummed when you turned them on. That wasn’t it. She continued scanning the room. And approached one of the corners. Her body accidentally caught onto a piece of textile. When she tried to get it off, it slid down revealing a large tube. Her eyes almost popped out. …What the shit?! I was right! They are making Batman people over here! Alien alert, alien alert, Dora is getting the hell out of here! Teal liquid was inside the large glass tube. However, Dora steadied her breath and accepted that it was empty. No kidnapped people inside this one. Only a cold buzzing coming from this thing. She felt unnerved. Regardless of it being empty, it was evident that something did belong inside it. She just didn’t know what and that was what scared her. Please don’t put me inside it. Please just, uh, take Jennifer instead, she would make a great bat! Dora wondered what other pieces of fantastical technology were in this building. On one hand she was curious, but on the other she was terrified about learning more, or even worse, learning too much. Overall, this laboratory was nothing like the one at school during chemistry class either. Everything was sterile and top class. It must have cost a fortune. Dora wondered what this building even was exactly. Was it top secret? A subtle fear snuck up on her. They might execute her if they found out she was a spy. “Dora no longer wants to be an agent. I take my words back…”

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Something squeaked. “Uh?” She turned and spotted a little brown rodent in a cage, running on a wheel. “Aww, so cute… wait.” Her eyes narrowed. The squirrel had a small hole on its thorax, one it scratched at with a tiny paw. “Ratatoskr, is that you? How did you get here?”

A mischievous grin spread across her face. “How’s it feel to be the tiny one now?” She leaned over the cage, hands resting on the metal table.

The young lab worker approached, opening the cage and reaching for the squirrel. Ratatoskr froze mid-bite, then scrambled to escape as he lifted it by the scruff.

“Hey, what are you doing to it?!” Dora’s voice rose. She clamped a hand on his shoulder, eyes flashing with anger. She remembered the giant version of this rodent with the huge plant stalk lodged into its body chasing after her and Harriet. It was awful and rabid. But now it was tiny and cute. And it would be cruel to let this tiny creature suffer. In fact, it might not even be the same animal, which would make it even worse. Dora would never be able to forgive herself. Even if he was out for my blood before, I’m not okay with this.

The man barked something in the foreign language, clutching the struggling squirrel as it whimpered. Dora’s fists clenched. “I can’t believe I’m doing this… protecting you now.”

She took a swing, knocking the man to the floor like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Her knuckles didn’t even sting. This was surprisingly easy. Nobody hurts animals on my watch, however… What was that? Why am I so strong?! I don’t remember fighting people before. Dora truly is a badass! Make room for Dora Tyson, bitches!

“Run, little guy, run!” Ratatoskr bolted from the limp hand, and the older lab worker rushed after it. Dora grinned in satisfaction and slipped out of the lab. Oh boy. I hope this wasn’t a mistake that will come back to bite me in the ass.

“W-what the…” Warm air caressed her small face. A Momo passed her and Dora was almost too absentminded to dodge it. She muttered as she suddenly found herself back outside with Natalya and Jennifer. The sterile white floor had turned into firm green grass without warning, and a familiar humming pulsed through her head, louder than before. Sweat built up on her brow due to the lush temperature. Is this… real? What if I get sent to a volcano next? She shivered at the thought, feeling trapped. Dora missed the sounds from the steel building, even if they had only lasted for a few minutes. Her head felt dizzy and ached at the sudden change. She closed her eyes and shook it. And she lifted her feet, stretched her legs and breathed out, not sure how many more sudden changes in environment she could take. Whoever this is, stop this at once! I am not a chess piece to be moved around freely. If I find you, you will suffer. You will die. “And you will know pain.” Dora whispered despite knowing that she most likely won’t be heard.

As Dora raised her head, she noticed how much closer they were to the massive tree—or was it a ruin? It loomed over them, casting an enormous shadow that made her heart pound. How - it was still hundreds of miles away last time!

“Why am I here?!” she blurted.

Natalya slowed down, looking back. She took Dora’s hand “You’ve been here the whole time. We slept through the night and kept going.”

Was… was that all a dream? Dora’s mind reeled. She touched her pocket, but it was empty, the jar of peaches and corn gone. No! They were for Natalya as a gift! Well, the other one was supposed to be a punishment for Jennifer, but it turned out that peaches are actually delicious, so I would have punished her by giving her nothing, but that doesn’t work now cause everyone gets nothing. Curse whoever stole my food! Her eyes twitched as she brushed her tongue over her lips, the taste of peaches lingering faintly before fading. She patted her pockets down a second time. Still nothing. Bullshit! The memory of the lab felt like a distant echo, and a sudden wave of helpless anger surged through her. Is someone messing with me? I should still be in front of the lake, trying to steal panties and watch two naked babes, not be walking. How could I have been walking when I was gone?! Who the hell walked for me?!

“Ouch! Dora, that’s too much!” Natalya’s voice snapped her out of it. Dora realised she’d squeezed her hand too hard and softened her grip, muttering an apology as her face flushed.

“What’s the matter, squirt? Can’t control your puny emotions?” Jennifer turned around and smiled with a shit eating grin. Of course, she can’t help but add her worthless thoughts again. Instead of trying to understand my situation she is being a bitch to me. Typical. Just shut up, Jennifer. Go die on a hill.

“Shut the fuck up, Jennifer.” The past experiences made it difficult for Dora to remain calm. “Wanna get your ass kicked?!”

“Go ahead and try it, you scrawny little shit!”

“Come on, we’re getting closer!” Natalya encouraged her, holding her hand more gently as they walked, leading her quickly away from the rowdy blonde girl.

As they moved forward, Dora glanced down at the horse girl’s jeans, trying to catch a glimpse of that red underwear.

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