It was the day before the Cubbing ritual. Frost was the one to train and lecture Gail that day. Terra had been busy preparing for the Cubbing. Despite the harsher CQC and physical training with Frost, Gail had no real preference as to who should be teaching her how the ritual will go down. Every step was practically engraved into her mind at this point, so her mind was quick to jump when Frost said something unusual. “You are to hunt for a feral and nothing else. Take their carcass to the ritual grounds and let nothing stop you from doing so. Under no circumstance are you to stray from that. Do you understand?” When Gail nodded, he added, “Whatever anyone else will tell you, do not challenge for anything higher than a Gamma.”
There was an edge to his voice that Gail had caught on to. After that, Gail spent her free time lying down in the gathering alcove, mulling over Frost’s words while letting her body recover. On a surface level, it seemed nothing different from what Terra had been telling her, but the emphasis on each word, especially on what she couldn’t challenge for.
“The only ranks above a Gamma is the Beta and Alphas,” she muttered to herself. The Alpha rank aside (which was suicide to consider with Terra as her opponent), did Frost just have zero faith in her taking on the responsibilities of a Beta? Or was he afraid her flesh would be torn from the bones by Zane if she were to challenge him? That was most likely what would happen, and it definitely won’t happen. As much as the power and influence she would have as a Beta, she had no desire to challenge Zane with the disparity between them in terms of strength and wits.
Okay, maybe not quite wits. I don’t think Zane is as wise as someone like Quibs or Potts and Juniper. But he will a hundred percent tear my head off if I challenge him.
Gail in her mind ran through each rank in the pack, deciding which one she should challenge for. The Omega was out of the question, as there could only be one. The Gammas may be just as lethal as challenging Zane; Reckles certainly won’t be the one to oppose her challenge, and any one of the others would be a craggy mountain to surmount. The Deltas were more forgiving in comparison, and it’s a role Gail could see herself enjoying. The same could not be said for being a Theta, as much as she wanted to comfort the three pitiful wolves. Curiously, the Zetas were never brought up as a role that she could attain, and she wondered if it was possible to challenge for it.
Then there was the Iota. Gail’s heart ached thinking of that word. It was a role that she lacked confidence in fulfilling, as evident in her recent painting, but she yearned for Sierra’s company. If she were to become an Iota, she could be with her forever. Sierra probably wouldn’t even put up a fight if Gail were to challenge her; she’d happily accept her as an Iota with no quarrel.
Her ears twitched when someone entered the room. Glancing over, it was Quibs with a smile as comforting as ever. “You ready for your special day, kiddo?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” Gail responded.
Sitting beside her, Quibs said, “A lot must be racing through your mind right now. Tell me, how are you feeling?”
“Excited comes to mind. I still can’t believe I’m going to have a rank in the pack by tomorrow. But that also makes me feel . . . scared. What if I don’t even make it that far in the ritual? I feel that Terra and Frost are expecting so much of me, but at the same time I feel like they don’t care about me at all.” Gail’s ears drooped. That icy cold feeling creeping through her veins returned, that same sensation whenever she thought more about the Alphas than just being her leaders. Her parents . . . She still won’t be able to call them that even with a rank, will she?
Gail closed her eyes when Quibs rubbed her forehead. She took a deep breath, gravitating toward his hand a little. His warmth faintly began repelling the chill inside her.
“They wouldn’t be going through all this trouble if they didn’t care about you, would they?”
“They’re probably only putting in effort because it’s a bi-full moon,” she muttered, before sighing. “It’s all just frightening for me. Now I’m wondering what the others are expecting of my Cubbing, with the bi-full moon and me being the daughter of the Alphas. I’m worried I won’t be able to find the right feral for my skull, or if I’ll find one at all. I’m still not even sure what rank to aim for!”
Gail scrunched her face. She balled her shaking fists and smashed one against the ground with a grunt. Tears squeezed out of her shut eyelids. Quibs’s gentle rubbing did little to alleviate her anxiety. Her trembling persisted as her troubles grew to devour her.
“Fear is always good to have,” Quibs said. “You would be an arrogant fool to live without a hint of it to edge you on. Take Reckles for example. He was a wolf brimming with excessive confidence when he was your age, and his ego was boosted further when he became a Gamma. It stayed that way for years, and he proved himself to be a capable Gamma. That was until he ran into the Prowling Salvagers.”
Gail cracked her eyes open. That was a name that she would hear each year, and it always struck terror in the pack; even the group of greedy hyenas brought a wave of unease to the Alphas.
Quibs went on, “It was only one hyena, but he thought that he could take her on. While he did inflict severe injuries onto her, he didn’t account for how many more would be skulking nearby to surround him.”
“And he returned here barely alive,” Gail said, and Quibs nodded.
“He was never the same since. He feared the outside, started second-guessing his decisions, and he even considered becoming unranked for some time. His fellow Gammas no longer saw him as an equal.”
“But he eventually got better, right? It was the same time he began visiting the Thetas more and more. Everyone eventually found out his fondness for Goldenrod.”
“Precisely. So you see how fear is important? If you have too little, you’ll underestimate the danger of a situation, and if you have too much, you’ll become a doubtful hermit and refuse to leave your shell. Your real woe is learning to control it enough to your advantage.”
Controlling my fear . . .
That felt like an impossibility with Gail’s flurry of emotions swirling in her head that was just as untamable. A deep breath. She opened her eyes more and glanced over to see that Quibs had been scratching behind her ears in an effort to comfort her. Quibs flinched and withdrew his hand. He sounded flushed as he spoke.
“Sorry. That usually helps with calming down the other wolves, so I thought it’d work on you too.”
Gail cracked a feeble smile. “Thank you, Quibs. I’ll keep your words in heart.”
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To keep her nerves in check, Gail paced around the cave. It didn’t take long until her legs inevitably led her into the Iota’s den. Sierra was caught off guard when Gail entered, as evident by her screeching and scrambling to hide what appeared to be a bundle of feathers. Gail promptly apologized, but Sierra shrugged it off.
“You didn’t see what that was, right?”
“Not really. It looked like you were holding a bunch of dead falcons,” Gail said.
Sierra let out a relieved sigh. “Good. My last secret project is safe.”
“At this point, I’m willing to believe that you have dozens of super-secret projects hidden in a cubby hole somewhere.”
“I’m neither confirming nor denying that accusation.” Their laughter echoed in the den. “Do you want something to eat?”
Gail tilted her head. “Did you also learn to duplicate meat or did you just not eat earlier?”
“Reckles sometimes gives me some prey too. I’m sure you already saw with the Thetas that other day.” Sierra went over to the corner of boxes. As she reached in one of the open containers, Gail wondered how many secrets took shelter in them. Sierra added, “It’s rare, since he has to hide so many preys for the Thetas first, but I can’t ask any more from him.” She padded over to her cooking station, placing a defeathered finch on the metal plate.
As she proceeded to cook the finch, Gail couldn’t help perusing Sierra’s books. Even with their battered spines, she knew which book to take off the shelf. “I so desperately want more books like this. Maybe ones that that aren’t as abused as this.”
“Gruff has been keeping an eye out for traders, but they haven’t run into any lately.” A craving aroma tickled Gail’s nose as Sierra flipped the finch with a rusted pair of tongs. “You’ve really been hooked on that book, huh?”
“Gotta find a way to relax,” Gail replied as her claw found the exact page she wanted. “And I just . . . have this nagging going on in my head. Like, I wanna know more!”
Sierra tittered. “I can’t blame you. I felt the same when I found out about Ventay and Nahvii. To think that they’re out there somewhere . . .”
Gail looked over her shoulder. The finch continued to tug at her stomach as Sierra flipped it once more, but her attention was diverted elsewhere. “Do you really think they’re real?” she asked.
Sierra gave a half shrug. Curiously, her tone grew somber slightly. “They have to be, right? Why else would people be writing all that in conjunction with Ferian history?”
Her words felt like a club against Gail’s mind. While she was skeptical of the existence of Higher Beings, the entries regarding early Ferian lives in the same book appeared real. She knew no other Ferians aside from her packmates to confirm of their legitimacy, but why spend time writing a book about a fictional civilization? The fact that Sierra learned how to cook from this book, some parts had to be real, right? And why else would Potts and Juniper utter the name of a goddess if she were fake?
Gail stared down at the faded illustration of Ventay. A beast that even Terra regarded with respect, one who offers protection to Ferians. Her image was an amalgamation of different animals. Could she possibly be prowling under the same moons as Gail?
“I can’t wait to watch your Cubbing tomorrow,” Sierra said. “You think you can beat my time of hunting a feral?”
“I don’t even know how long it took you. I was one of the people who weren’t allowed to attend your Cubbing, remember?”
Sierra’s gaze dropped as her smile faded. “Right . . . Terra kept you from watching my ritual, even when you were healthy at that time.” She killed the flame and placed the steaming finch on a wooden plate. “That is odd, don’t you think?”
Gail gave a confused look as she accepted the cooked finch. “Not really, considering that it’s Terra. She may have kept me specifically from watching so I don’t get too excited about my Cubbing. Now I wish I had seen it, though, so I can visualize it more in my head.” When Sierra continued to look gloomy, her frown spread to Gail. “Are you okay?”
Sierra shook her head. “I’m fine.” Her smile returned, though faintly. “I’m just thinking of how you’ll fare tomorrow, and if you’ll like my ‘last’ secret project. Actually, you know what”—she padded over to where she hastily hid the bundle of feathers—“I may as well give it to you now.”
Gail watched with piqued interest. When Sierra returned, she realized that it wasn’t merely a bundle of feathers. She made feathered garments akin to those of the higher ranked wolves. The feathers were white as snow with and striped with black. They complemented the tawny brown fur that they were embedded into. “Oh, Sierra. Why’d you gone out of your way to make this for me? This time, you really didn’t have to.”
“This was Terra’s order,” Sierra said, stunning Gail. “I know you wouldn’t believe it if it came from her mouth, but she wanted you to look your best.” She felt the hem of Gail’s coarse cloth top. “I’ll be honest, you do look sorta dreadful in this.”
“Okay, I know you’re voicing what Terra wants, but you didn’t have to sound like her too.” Gail smiled. “Thank you.”
Speaking of the devil, the voice of Terra echoed down the tunnels. She was urgently beckoning Gail, making the young wolf’s fur rise in apprehension. Gail grabbed the feathery garment and returned the plate of finch to Sierra. “You can eat that. I can’t have Terra see you hiding more prey.” She wrapped an arm around Sierra’s neck and touched foreheads with her. Even with the hard skull mask of Sierra, Gail could still feel her warmth.
They stood like that in silence. Gail wished they could stay like this forever, but she couldn’t She eventually released and dashed out of the room. She waved a hand behind her as Sierra bid her farewell.
Terra’s voice echoed once more, but they were drowned out by Gail’s flurry of thoughts. The garment bundled in her hands looked gorgeous. It felt like a dream that Terra would have Sierra make something like this for her; though, whether that dream was happy or a nightmare waiting to happen, she couldn’t quite tell yet.
Before she made it to the main tunnel, she ran into Terra. Terra huffed, and said, “I knew you’d be down here.” Her eyes glanced at the garments in Gail’s hand for a second. “We need to talk.”
Instead of going to the Alphas’ den as Gail would’ve expected, they entered one of the empty chambers in the lower level. It felt like frost creeping along Gail’s skin as Terra stared her down. “What do you need to tell me?”
“It’s regarding your Cubbing,” Terra said. “You’re well aware that you will be challenging for a rank, correct? I’m sure you’ve been contemplating what rank you’ll shoot for, and I can guarantee that someone would have . . . suggested what rank you should go for.”
Frost’s words echoed in Gail’s head. Do not challenge for anything higher than a Gamma. Those words already chilled Gail, and Terra’s upcoming words would make her feel as cold as a ghost.
“I’m ordering you to challenge for the rank of Beta.” Before Gail could protest, Terra’s eyes grew sharper, as if she couldn’t look any fiercer. “If you so think about disobeying that order or fail to achieve the rank of Beta, I have acquaintances ready to strike you dead the moment you receive any other rank.” She placed a hand on Gail’s shoulder; Gail winced as Terra threatened to crush it. “Do I make myself clear?”
“Y-yes, Terra. I’ll ensure to fulfill your order.” The words stung Gail’s tongue as it left her lips. When Terra released her grasp, Gail could only hang her head.
“Make it so. Be sure to put those on for tomorrow.” Terra walked past Gail. When it felt like she had already left, her voice echoed to give her one piece of advice that would cement Gail’s perplexity. “Be ready for anything tomorrow. You won’t just be hunting for a simple feral.”