Chapter 14

I waited by myself at the back, leaning on the rail enjoying the scenic view. Cool and refreshing wind blew in the air, trees with jade-like leaves encircled along the river. The wide and smooth mirror-like river snaked downwards off into rolling hills. One couldn’t help but enjoy the small piece of nature that still persist in flourishing in this human infested world. There weren’t many places that I have seen with natural scenery, but this was just a sliver of nature.

Soft clunking of dress shoes could be heard, walking towards me. I didn’t turn back and instead continued to watch around me. Ken walked over next to me a good foot away, I could tell that he was slightly tensed, but it didn’t bother me. Instead, I didn’t care.

I left Samantha with Jaz and Ray, knowing that they would take care of her in my place. This conversation could take awhile, and I needed someone to watch over Samantha.

“What do you want to talk about?” I spoke cutting the silence in half.

“You are Kimberly, right?”

“No. My name is Tila. Kimberly is dead.” I didn’t even turn to look at him.

“That’ can’t be. You feel and smell like my mate.”

I whipped around and glared at him. “My name is Tila and I am a white wolf. Please get that through your skull or have you forgotten I am white instead of black?”

Ken flinched in what I had said. Then he seem to think it over before he continued. “Yes, I remember that you are white, but how did you know that Kimberly was black a wolf?”

Crap. I let it slip. Thinking up a cover story was the only way to go. Right now, I don’t want to explain to him that I’m not the original Kimberly Li at all and instead someone who else.

“I’m her twin sister.”

“Kimberly had a twin sister?” He thought it over, rolling in his head. It seems the information that had sunk into his brain, accepting what I had just said. “That would make sense on why you have familiarly scent. I’m truly sorry for thinking you were Kimberly. I……never really took the chance to know her.”

His body slumped, he look liked he aged a couple more years. For a split moment, I felt guilt, but I quickly subdue such thought. Forgiving him wasn’t easy, and right now it was difficult to even try. All I could do was to listen to what he has to say and go from there. The only reason that I even considered this was because of Seline that seem to be madly running around whenever she saw him.

“I know you hate me for what I have done to her.”

“Absolutely.”

Ken gripped his hand tighter against the rail, then he let out a deep sigh. “I wanted to say sorry.”

“I’m not the person who you’re supposed to say sorry too.”

“I know, but please let me at least say it to you.” Adam gaze was full of sorrow and a hint of desperation as if what he would say would wash away his sins.

“What if I say no?”

Dejected, Adam face fell. I could tell that whatever was on his chest was heavy, eating him up to the core. “T-then there is nothing that I can do.”

Tila! Let him! Seline’s words resounded in my head, giving me a horrible headache.

Fine. Fine. Damn it Seline. I rubbed my headache.

“Are you okay?” Ken took a step towards me, I raised my hand to stop him.

“I’m fine. Tell me what you were going to tell her.”

Ken stopped worriedly. His expression soften. “I wanted to say that I was afraid that my pack would reject me when they knew that a Black Wolf would become there Luna. The fear held on tightly in the back of my consciousness, realizing the stupidity of my thoughts. Everyday I thought of her and the harm that I have done, mentally and physically. The emptiness I felt in my heart…” He gripped his chest with a pained expression. “Can’t be filled up without her. No other Luna can.”

“So is that all you came here for? I saw you sleeping around with a human. Do you think I’m stupid?”

“I …..it comes with being an Alpha. You know that.”

I did. An Alpha male without their Luna are more highly sexually driven and vice versa for a female.

“She endured you stupid mutt. That is the difference between you and she.”

Ken cringed. I could tell that he was thinking over what I had just said.

“Was that it? To tell me your sob story?” I asked impatiently. “Just so you know, I don’t want to be here.”

“No. I just wanted to tell her the truth. That what I have done isn’t easily fixable, I am a changed man and I wanted to prove it to her.” Sadness riddled his voice. “I Alpha Ken Tedo, accepts Kimberly Li as my mate once again.”

All of a sudden the throbbing headache began to intensify. Seline was slamming herself against the barrier that I had created, making me feel worse than before. She was howling in ecstasy and excitement, while I was cringing in pain. This was the first time I felt connected to Seline, but everything felt different. I knew we weren’t truly the same souls, because my heart didn’t sing out with joy like Seline. Instead I felt fear.

Fear that I would disappear from the swirling emotions that wasn’t mine. Fear that Kimberly would come back and replace me, making it so that I wouldn’t exist anymore. I was scared. I was afraid more than ever. This wasn’t supposed to happen, how could he just suddenly chang his mind?

I stumbled forward, Ken rushed forward and grabbed me by the shoulder before I could fall. A shock of electricity sent out towards me, causing me to jolt backwards.

“Are you okay Tila?”

“No-” I gasp as another wave of electricity hit me again when he touched me. Nausea took over me, while I fought hard against Seline. We both battle for supremacy and I knew that I didn’t want her to win. I was selfish. I know I was, but I was more afraid than I have ever been in my life.

Ken suddenly hugged me into his arm, causing me to have short breathe. Panic filled my body, I tried to struggle out of his hold, but I couldn’t. My body wouldn’t listen and instead stood there in place.

“Kimberly?” His voice shot through my ears, breaking the concentration that I had built up against Seline and was shattered in an instant. Seline roared to life, and I fought tooth and claw with her in attempt for dominance in my mind. My white wolf form didn’t back down against Seline and instead used all the Alpha’s power that I had to fight her.

He called my name! Seline shouted and howled. We were in a full out brawl with each other. He called my name!

No, he didn’t Seline! I am this body’s owner now! My name is Tila! You are Seline! Not Kimberly!  I aimed for her throat. All I could see was red, my instincts were on overdrive and the only thought that crossed my mind was survival.

He called my name! He called my name! He called my name! He called my name! He called my name! Seline shouted in a repetitively.

She slashed at my face, blocking the attack to rip her apart. Flying backwards, I slammed into the ground. Snarls escaped my lips. With a mad dash, I slammed into her body. My teeth snapped onto her side, drawing blood down my white fur. Seline fought back, her head snaked over clamping down onto my side.

We tumbled, scratched, bitten, and clawed again each other. I was going to win. Not Seline or Kimberly. I was the white wolf. I was the Alpha and my will to live pushed me forward. With a loud thump, Seline was under my feet, my teeth against her neck.

Back down Seline or I’ll kill you. I threatened with a growl. The amount of sanity that I had left was paper thin, if she didn’t back down I was sure to kill her. I am the Alpha.

Seline whined, her eyes became cold and dark. Fine, you win.

I took a step back, pulling away my teeth from her throat. In that instant, Seline took the initiative to strike and once again we tumbled together in a full out brawl. They were only going to be one winner and it was going to be me!

With a vicious snap, I tore through her shoulders causing a hefty injury. Seline wavered but stood her ground. We scuffled some more till we bloody each other to the point where my white pelt became soaked in blood. We were both exhausted and we knew that only one of us were going to win.

I burst into a run, we collided head first into each other. After that….all I saw next was white and I plummeted into the abyss.

#####

With a groan, I woke up in a dim lit room on a hard bed. A pungent smell of different herbs wafted heavily throughout the air. With a heavy sneezed, I fully awoken, completely confused in where I was at. The place that I was in didn’t seem like the ship at all.

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Everywhere around me were packaged dead reptiles stuffed in jars, herbs of different variety that I have never seen before, and  different colored candles that were lit in small cups.  Strange markings decorated the wall, while a soft wind blew through the half open door, causing the bones that were hanging to rattle. Large bison skull were placed in a shrine with different types of amulets and candles surrounding it. Something about this room felt ancient, and oppressive. My instincts were on high alert as I pushed myself up.

I realized that Seline wasn’t stirring and once again, sleeping inside the bubble barrier that I had created around her. I wonder when I did that, but it didn’t matter. The fight for dominance was temporarily over, now the problem resides when I met Ken.

“So you’re awake.” An elderly brown skinned lady walked through the door, pushing aside the drapes.

She was quite young looking, she looked around the early 40s, but I could tell she was older than what she looked. They were still some wrinkles on her lips and eyes, but I could tell that she kept her body well. Something about her screamed grace, power, intelligence, and wisdom. I could tell that she was from African American descent with a hint of Native American from her facial features. Her clothes were simple with earthy tone colors, she wore a long dress draped with a white shawl.

My attention snapped towards her direction, wondering who she was. “Who?”

“My name is Shelby.”

“Um, Shelby. Why am I here?”

“You don’t remember? You went unconscious after the small scuffle you had with your inner wolf.”

I was alarmed. How the heck did she know that? “How?”

Shelby chuckled. “I am a witch. My line had a good share with dealing with animals or from your case werewolves. I am attuned with nature because of my bloodline because of my Cherokee side. From what I could tell inside your body there are two.”

“Two?”

“I thought you already knew.”

“I’m not understanding you right now. Seline and I are considered one. That’s what she said.”

“But do you believe that?” Shelby walked around picking herbs off her shelf and bringing it to her table. She started to grind them in a mortar, while she talked.

“Well…..No.” I had to admit lately I been getting a feeling that Seline really wasn’t a part of me at all. She felt more foreign, especially what had happened between the two of us. A conflict of minds to the point where we wanted to erase each other’s existence. That in itself was scary as a whole that I never thought could happen.

“Good. That my dear is your first step to acceptance on who you are.”

“I’m sorry you completely lost me. I already accepted who I am. I am Tila. Just Tila.”

“Well just Tila, you are not. You and Seline are two different entities sharing one body. A complete different power struggle between light and dark. You my dear are the darkness while she is the light.”

I looked at her stupid. She wasn’t making any sense at all. Wasn’t white supposed to represent light and black supposed to represent dark? How am I darkness?

“You seem to not understand do you.”

“I honestly am going to tell you that I don’t. I’m a white wolf. How am I darkness?”

Shelby chuckled. She scooped up the chunk of herbs that she grinded and put them in a tea bag. Then she put it in a glass and poured hot water in it.

“My dear, your hands are tainted in blood. Your soul sings closer with the element of darkness more highly than your other counterpart, but white doesn’t mean you yourself is benevolent, kind, or with a pure soul. White can be a very harsh color, it just that people don’t see it that way. Think about it this way, when you stare into the sun what do you do?”

“Block out the sun?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s too bright that it blinds me.”

“Exactly, light can be even more harsher than darkness. The sheer pain light can give you, taking away your sense of sight just like darkness. They are more ruthless, unforgiving, emotionless, searing pain from the sheer brilliance, and just as powerful as their counterpart. Light is not always sunshine and daisy. It is not just justice, but an existence of a cause and effect. The push and pull of the universe and comes back to close into a whole. You need a monster to fight another monster for it is impossible to win with a weak heart. You on the other hand represents the harsher and darker reality of light.”

“I see.” Not really getting her.

“Not only that I see that you hold a great deal of anger, hatred, fear, and even disgust at yourself contained in yourself. While she is filled with love and hope. I wouldn’t be surprised if you hate the gods that threw you into that body. Snatching you away in the early life that you have lived and what? Waking up to an unknown world. Correct?”

I was flabbergasted at her accuracy. Yes I was anger that I was suddenly yanked and killed so early in my past life. Now even more so that Seline would dare attack me. Yes, I hated the guts who did this to me, making me feel so confused on what I must do with my life. I feared that my existence would become nothing more than just a dream. No a replacement till the real owner of this body would awaken.

But what really got me disgusted was at myself for the selfishness that I had festering in my soul. Purity? There were no purity. I hide behind the so called legendary white wolf as a facade, holding my head up high for my family. Other than that, I wasn’t me. Don’t get me wrong I loved my family, my pack. They were my home, and I would die for them if I have too. But the burden of an Alpha can sometimes be lonely and overbearing, causing me to become encased with shields around my heart.

She turned towards me and understood without replying what I wanted to say. “In the time of darkness to come, sometimes a pure soul is not what the world needs. You are not Jesus or Buddha. Instead you are you. A young woman who is faced against the world. Sometimes the world needs a different perspective on what it means to be a guiding light. For without knowing oneself, there is no way you can shine. Darkness is just an absence of light, but they are literally go hand-in-hand. What you make out of your darkness can become a shining light that leads you to your destiny and sometimes your destiny is not what you think it is.”

Shelby came over and gave me the hot tea. I grasped it gently, my hand tingled from the warmth that the tea was giving. “Drink up. You need your strength for what is to come in the future.”

I took her advice and sip it. A warm fuzzy feeling swept through my body as a swirl of mint and lavender burst through my mouth. Delicious.

“How long was I out?”

“Do you mean you or the other?”

“Me.”

“Give or take a week.”

I took in a sharp intake. One week. That was quite of bit of time that I have missed out. I didn’t like when she said the word other.

“They should be coming back soon.”

What she said, snapped me back to my pack and the others. “Where did they go?” I put down the tea to the side. “I have another question.”

“Go ahead.” She waved her hand in front of me. She went back to her work in grinding away at the herbs that she had gathered.

“How come Seline is trapped in the barrier again? I mean I don’t know when I put it up.”

Shelby stopped and turned towards me. “That is because you are more powerful than her. You are an Alpha and your pack follows behind you. Not her, you.”

Her words struck me in my chest. A couple tears started to drip down my face. I realized now how much the power of an Alpha meant as well as how much my pack loved me. I wasn’t completely alone, I just didn’t realize it until now on how much they wanted me back. Then I realized how alone, Seline was. Trapped away in the barrier that I have created. She had nobody but me and possibly her mate in which I don’t pin my whole hopes on.

We were never the same person, I knew we were different. I needed to talk with her, but right now I didn’t have the courage. Instead I pulled away for the fear of my possible disappearance kept me back. I promised to myself that I would talk to her when this whole mission was over. Right now I needed to be in control, keeping my pack and Samantha safe. I knew this was a selfish thought, but I knew it would probably be for the best.

Suddenly the door was flung opened and Ken came bursting through the door, followed by Adam, Samantha, Ted, Jaz, Rose, and Ray.

“Is she okay?” Ken blurted out worriedly. When he saw me up, he ran over and gave me fierce hug. “Thank god. You’re okay. You scared me.”

Seline stirred, but didn’t awaken. I on the other hand froze, completely shell shocked at the sudden intrusion of space. I could smell the musky cinnamon scent of his scent, making me twitch. They were no electric shock that came with his touch, it was strange. The last time, his touch made me feel a strange electric sparks, but now there wasn’t.

“Kimberly I’m so sorry. I should’ve kept a better watch on you.”

His words slapped me awake. I squinted not liking how he called me Kimberly. “I am Tila and if you know any better keep your damn paws off me.”

Shocked, Ken pulled back and stared at me in confusion. “W-what are you talking about? Don’t you remember how you responded when you reacted to your name. You allowed me to call you Kimberly again.”

I look at him funny. What the hell is he talking about? I allow him to call me Kimberly? Hell no. I am Tila not Kimberly. Then it hit me. Seline was awake during the one week blackout, making me feel furious.

The thought of my existence disappearing, pulled fear into my heart. I felt a sweep of rage, but just as quickly as the anger washed over me, it disappeared in a blink of an eye. I knew that this body was Kimberly’s in the past. I was just an extra residence that temporarily took her place.

Shaking my head slowly, I gave him a stern reply. “I am Tila.”

Ken look hurt from the sudden detachment and slumped forward.

Jaz came forward and tackled me. “I’m so glad that you’re okay. I was worried that something bad had happened to you.”

“I’m fine Jaz. I’m back.”

“I can see that. You were just weird for the past week. I thought someone possessed you or something. I couldn’t even mind link you to have our usual girls conversation.”

“Well you don’t have to worry anymore. Now you can send me all the mind link that you want.” I chuckled as I clapped her back.

“I will.” She pried herself away.

Ray was next to come over and slapped me hard in the back. I cringed from the sudden pain, giving him a furious glare. “There is my girl. I was worried I wouldn’t see your scowling face after you went mental on us.”

“I wasn’t mental.”

“Well it seem like it.”

“You guys are such a pain in the butt.” I grumbled. “One tackles me and the other smacks me. What kind of welcoming is that?!”

“It’s our White Raven Pack love.”

“Uh huh. Sure.” I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at his weirdness, but a small smile creped up on my face.

I suddenly felt a hot gaze shot towards me, I turned towards the gaze. What stared back at me was Adam’s enchanting eyes that made me shiver in delight. I never knew how deep and mesmerizing his gaze was until today. His black eyes stared back at me with a hint of amusement and relief. They were softness to him that didn’t often come out. My heart slightly fluttered as I tear away my gaze, utterly confused at what was going on with my body.

“If everything is alright, It’s time we get back on the ship. We got another destination to head too.” Adam’s voice broke through everyone’s attention. “With the amulet charged, we should be fine for another fifty years. Thanks Shelby.” He went over and hugged her tightly.

I could tell that he cared about Shelby in some shape or form, by the soft gaze that he was giving towards her. “You still look beautiful as the last time I have met you.”

“You always do like to flutter around those useless words.” Shelby shook her head and punched him gently on the shoulder.

“Ouch, Shelby. Your punch still hurts you know.”

“I hope it did. After what you did in leaving my great grandmother. I swear, I’m glad that this is my last debt that I owe you.”

“Darling, you know I’ll always take care of you. Your great grandmother has my utmost respect and I swore never to touch a single hair on any of her descendants.”

“Good, because I don’t want you near any of my grand children.”

“Yes, mamn.” He chuckled.

For some reason, I felt slight irritation on what he said, but quickly dismissed as a heart pain from waking up. Whatever they did in the past history wasn’t my problem anyways, plus he was an Elder. An  ancient vampire that are considered immortal. The number of lovers he had probably racked up over a hundred anyways. What did I care what his love life was.

I scoffed at the strange bubbling feeling of wanting to know a little more about what they were talking about. Nope. I wasn’t going to get myself trapped in these strange thoughts, instead I threw them away as if they were useless trash.

With minimal effort, I rotated around the bed, and place my foot onto the floor. With a push, I got up with the help of Jaz who glanced at me worried that I might fall.

“Well then. Let’s go.” I spoke. I wanted to get out of here, staying any longer made me feel antsy and claustrophobic.