First off, since chapter titles like this inspire credible fear and apprehension: I am still writing HTSAS. I have NO plans to drop it.
Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, I apologise for the delays in chapter. It has been a month since I last published. Truthfully, things have changed a lot the past months. Changed more rapidly and more terribly that anyone deserves.
My mother has been diagnosed with Amyloidosis, which the docs tell me is a form of blood and marrow cancer. They gave her a year, and with treatments maybe some more. The sheer shock of the sudden inevitability was only dwarfed by the shock of the speed in which we had to help her as much as we could.
From the strong, spirited woman with a zest for life, she...it's a hard deal you know? Finding progressively increasing volume of hair that clogs the bathroom drain. The chemotherapy takes more than just hair though. A person's skin turns darker, like black soot permanently disfiguring one's hands, feet, face. Each day they sleep more and more, feel more tired and spend more time sleeping. There are rare days when she soaks up the warm sun, and smiles and scolds me as she used to when I can almost convince myself that the cancer is but a morbid dream.
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I won't pretend that I had been a good son to them. Heck, the relationship between me and my folks are strained. But what makes me most cut up is that even now I can't seem to bridge that gulf between us. I am trying. But it's not enough.
I don't know how much time she has left. Even if she beats the disease, right now I need to be by her, with her. I...I do write chapters...at least try to, but not easy while taking care of her. My mind keeps flitting between writing a description in the story to which of the 22 daily pills and tablets she needs next. That said, things are settling down now. I mean, as much as they can settle in this situation. Soon, I'll post some more chapters.
Know the kicker? the condition might be genetic. There might be a timer ticking down for me as well. So there's that.
So....that's the reason for delays. I debated whether I should write this. So many times I have typed this and deleted. But I figured that you guys, who have stuck with me for longer than two years deserve to know why I was so late. Also because I needed to put words to paper screen.
Know what? I'll...give an advice today. Don't keep stuff for tomorrow. Do it today. That vacation you always wanted? take it. That person you wanted to ask out? Ball all your courage and do it. That call you never made to your estranged friend after a fight? Do it. Make that apology. Life is too short, too fragile.
Be well.