“Are you alright, No-god God?” The preta in the bracer asked again but Svetavastra continued his to and fro pacing in the forest without responding.
I haven’t seen No-god God in such distress, thought the preta. I wonder what is bothering the divinity. Has some intel regarding the darkness and demon army come out while I was meditating?
It would make me a hypocrite if I changed form for one man, thought Svetavastra as he continued his walk. Why am I so affected by this small, somewhat insignificant matter all of a sudden?
Svetavastra scratched his chin as he thought of possible reasons.
The split with cosmic Svetavastra was not smooth, recollected Svetavastra. It’s possible that I retain some residual emotions while she manifests my emotions.
Could that be the only reason? Svetavastra wondered internally.
Could it be a manifestation of the imbalance of the Sacral Chakra? That would explain a great deal.
The Sacral Chakra was the second of the seven chakras governing a person’s spiritual energy. The first was the Root Chakra, which grounded the person. When Atisha sacrificed her spiritual core to seal the portal at Dandakaranya, her chakras became volatile and imbalanced. One of the first imbalances to manifest was the imbalance in her Root Chakra which made her act recklessly repeatedly leading to her losing her spiritual powers or being on the brink of such a loss time and again. Now that the imbalance had shifted to the Sacral Chakra, this meant the Root Chakra was somewhat stabilised. The cultivation Svetavastra had done so far seemed to be showing results.
But the imbalance of the Sacral Chakra would be a significant ordeal. This chakra was related to emotions and pleasure. Any imbalance to the chakra could lead to instability in emotions, and unhealthy attachments and result in volatile behaviour.
I wonder if the imbalance is expressed in the cosmic form as well. Svetavastra wondered.
Just then, Svetavastra heard the rustling of leaves into a vortex and shortly thereafter, cosmic Svetavastra and Manu descended from the sky in a nimbus. Cosmic Svetavastra looked radiant and beautiful in her white sari and together with Manu, who himself looked like a god of beauty and love, they were a sight to behold.
What a beautiful and harmonious-looking pair, Svetavastra thought.
“Woahhh,” the preta uttered, “that’s you isn’t it, No-god God, and the handsome young man from before. Why are there two of you?”
“Shhh,” Svetavastra motioned the preta to be silent.
Manu came forward to greet Svetavastra, his eyes gleamed with happiness to meet Svetavastra after so many weeks.
“Greetings, Sveta,” he said looking into Svetavastra’s eyes.
Svetavastra felt time to stop for that moment as he looked into Manu’s eyes. His worry regarding his form seemed pointless. Manu didn’t seem to be bothered by his male form. He didn’t show any sign of surprise or distaste for his appearance. His eyes only showed happiness. Svetavastra felt light and unburdened knowing this.
“Greetings, Manu,” returned Svetavastra. “How have you been?”
The prolonged gaze by the two however caught the attention of cosmic Svetavastra who furrowed her beautiful brows.
“Hello! I also exist,” she remarked caustically, “am I invisible all of a sudden?”
Svetavastra turned to the cosmic self.
“Greetings, cosmic one,” he said with a smile.
Cosmic Svetavastra waved her hand in dismissal, her sour mood reflecting in her actions. Svetavastra took note of this.
“There there, Vaishvi,” said Manu gently trying to assuage her.
He gave her a nickname. Svetavastra took note of this as well with interest.
The cosmic form seemed placated having Manu’s attention return to her.
“We have to contain Raktabija and his demon army,” said Manu becoming serious, turning to Svetavastra. He went on to explain the devastation the demon army had wrecked upon countless villages, cities and towns until they had found the monastery at Kailashan. How they used the divine weapon and managed to save the monks for the time being.
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“The situation is worse than I imagined,” said Svetavastra.
Manu nodded in agreement.
He summoned the Luminous Diksuchi with a hand gesture. It blinked black in all directions like before. He gestured again and it transformed into an expansive hologram map to review.
Cosmic Svetavastra was somewhat disinterested in the conversation, she stood behind the other, watching them with folder hands and started fidgeting.
Manu pointed out somewhere in the North of the map and said,
“This is likely where the Abyss of Talatala, the portal to the Underworld from where Raktabija and his demon army have come to Bhu-loka is located. He demolished all the places on his path till he reached the monastery at Kailashan.”
He moved his hand and showed a cliff on the map towards the East.
Svetavastra leaned in to study the map more closely, his arm brushing against Manu’s as they both focused on the map that now reflected the glowing points of destruction.
Cosmic Svetavastra clenched her hands into a fist as she watched the other two together, her eyes lingering on the arms that occasionally came in contact with each other.
“You have to throw yourself at him, don’t you?” Cosmic Svetavastra muttered under her breath. Manu didn’t hear her but Svetavastra whose hearing sense was heightened due to being blindfolded for so long, heard the comment. He felt a flush of heat come up against his neck but ignored the cosmic self.
“We’ll need to counter the darkness before it spreads further,” Manu said. “The darkness that has emerged with Raktabija is unlike anything I’ve seen till now.”
“How so?” asked Svetavastra.
“Rakshasas have always been trying to create chaos on Bhu-loka,” said Manu. “But the darkness that Raktabija is brought with him - it is all-consuming and has tilted the balance of power onto their side.”
“Hmm,” said Svetavastra pondering the matter.
“But the good thing is,” he said. “You have fought with and defeated Raktabija in the past.”
Svetavastra raised his eyebrows.
“This was during The Great Drought,” started Manu and went on to explain how Raktabija wreaked a similar havoc on Bhu-loka several centuries ago.
As Svetavastra and Manu spoke in depth about Raktabija and the demon army, the cosmic form started to get agitated, cosmic Svetavastra’s fingers twitched restlessly at her sides. Her foot kicked a small rock on the ground back and forth. Her gaze shifted from the ground to the two and her lips pressed into a thin line. The small distractions were no longer working for her.
“Enough!” She said, the word leaving her throat before she could control it. Her cosmic aura flickered with volatility reflecting her emotional state. Svetavastra and Manu froze, their eyes snapping toward her.
Cosmic Svetavastra’s breath came in shallow bursts, her fists trembling at her sides.
“Cosmic one, what’s the matter?” Svetavastra asked stepping toward her but cosmic Svetavastra wasn’t looking at him. Her burning gaze was fixed on Manu.
“Why don’t you pay attention to me, Manu?” She asked.
“I do pay attention to you, Vaishvi,” Manu said in a gentle coaxing tone.
“No, you don’t,” spat the cosmic form. “I see it, I see you two!”
Svetavastra blinked in confusion at the turn of events.
“I want you to give all of your attention Manu,” said cosmic Svetavastra. “I should matter to you!”
“You do matter to me, Vaishvi,” said Manu patiently.
“No! Don’t try to fool me!” said cosmic Svetavastra, her voice trembling with anger. “Only I should matter to you but look at the way you look at him!”
Svetavastra coughed. This is embarrassing, he thought. I’m throwing a jealous fit that Manu is showing interest in another version of myself.
“I am a part of Svetavastra,” continued the cosmic one. “But why do you only look at him with such eyes? Why don’t ever look at me, the same way?”
Manu opened his mouth to say something but cosmic Svetavastra wasn’t finished.
“We spent weeks together, going through all the difficulties and getting her weapon back,” said cosmic Svetavastra. “Didn’t that time together mean anything?”
This is bad, thought Svetavastra looking at her cosmic self spiral out of control. The Sacral Chakra’s imbalance has found expression through her.
“Vaishvi, you misunderstand the situation and are blowing it out of proportion,” said Manu, his voice calm but strained.
“Am I?” asked cosmic Svetavastra with a sneer. “Tell me honestly, Manu, who do you love?”
Manu froze, having been suddenly put on the spot. Svetavastra became alert as well.
“Why don’t you answer?” continued the cosmic one coming closer to Manu. “It’s not a difficult question.”
“He doesn’t have to answer that,” said Svetavastra coming in between Manu and her cosmic self.
“Why not?” said the cosmic one, her voice rising. “Are you going to steal him from me irrespective of who he chooses?”
“He’s not a toy to be played with,” said Svetavastra in a measured tone.
“He is my toy,” said the cosmic one her eyes locked onto Svetavastra.
Manu inhaled sharply as he heard this. Never in his wildest dreams would he imagine that the aloof god Atisha would actively claim him to be her toy, even if it was an emotionally imbalanced version of herself. Part of him wanted to intervene and part of him wanted to stay put and let Atisha express more and unfold her feelings further.
Why do you keep digging a deeper pit for ourselves, cosmic one, thought Svetavastra whose ears had gone red from all the embarrassment of having exposed his innermost emotions through the cosmic self. The chakra imbalance could only exaggerate existing emotions, it could not manufacture or fabricate new ones.
“No, he isn’t,” said Svetavastra, racking his brains on how to diffuse this tense situation.
“He is,” said the cosmic one.
“He isn’t,” replied Svetavastra.
“He is,” repeated the cosmic one.
“He isn’t,” repeated Svetavastra.
This continued for a while, Manu felt like a spectator watching two mountain lions fight with one another. The cosmic self of Svetavastra pushed Svetavastra to the side, looked at Manu and asked him directly,
“Are you not?”
This was too much for Svetavastra to handle, so before Manu could reply anything, he caught hold of the cosmic one and flew into the air and away from Manu.
Manu tilted his head and saw the two forms of Svetavastra becoming smaller in size as they flew away from him. He blinked several times trying to process what had just happened. His heart was beating rapidly, he held a hand to his heart in a futile way to calm it down.
“I am,” he uttered to an empty forest.