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How to Profit From a Fantasy World
Chapter 15: Almost Dying for the Burger

Chapter 15: Almost Dying for the Burger

Despite the heat of the sun, Erik was thankful that Talia knew of a cooling spell, the both of them cautiously traversing the forest in search of the last ingredient they needed for the burgers.

Talia had ordered Illyanth to stay home and guard the place, though Erik didn't exactly trust the dragon infant- that, and the fact that there wasn't anything of value for him to protect.

In the back of his mind, Erik felt a bit self-conscious about their 'hunting' attire. He was sort of in line with the typical image of a hunter from his world, camo pants and a green t-shirt, while Talia had opted for her now usual attire, sweatpants and a t-shirt. It made him feel like he was the one playing dress-up, even though she was the one with the magic.

Talia led the front as Erik crept after her, his grip tight on the crossbow he conjured a few days ago. The first time he used it to hunt, it wasn't very effective since he had to use it at night. However, now that it was bright out, Erik felt a bit more confident in his hunting abilities, or whatever it was called given his lack of actual hunting experience.

The forest was silent save for the rustling of leaves and the distant calls of birds. Erik found himself wondering what Talia was thinking about. She seemed distant, lost in her own thoughts.

"See anything?" Erik whispered, curious to know what was on her mind.

"Huh? Oh, no. I was just walking around. Why, did you see something?"

Erik stopped walking and stared at Talia in disbelief.

"Dude, you're leading the front! I thought you were looking for our last ingredient!" He exclaimed, feeling a spike of annoyance.

"Oh, sorry," Talia apologized without a hint of sincerity.

"Ugh, move! I'll lead then," Erik muttered, stepping in front of Talia. He took the first few steps forward, feeling a bit more confident now that he was out of the darkness. The forest seemed to close in on them as they ventured deeper, the trees towering overhead, their branches forming a canopy that blocked out most of the sunlight. The air was cool and damp, and the ground squished beneath their feet with each step.

"What exactly are we looking for, again?" Talia quietly asked.

"You said there was a mushroom that would pair perfectly with the meat in our burgers," Erik glanced over his shoulders, "Did you already forget?"

Talia shrugged. "Let's just hurry up and get back."

Erik sighed, continuing to trudge forward. He had sketched out what Talia had described, surprised to realize he could recall the drawing perfectly. Perhaps one of the only perks Osiris had given him, aside from the ability to conjure things from drawing.

"We're looking for a particular type of mushroom called 'Chunky Runty'. It grows in clusters at the base of trees. You'll know it when you see it. It has a meaty texture and a slightly nutty flavor," Talia explained.

"Who the fuck came up with that name?" Erik grumbled, scanning the base of the trees they were walking around.

It was faint, but Erik thought he heard a small noise coming from the depths of the forest. He paused, tilting his head, trying to discern the source. "Did you hear that?" he whispered to Talia, who was still scanning the base of trees.

"Hear what?" she asked, not taking her eyes off the ground.

"It sounded like...," Erik began, but his words trailed off as an unearthly groan pierced the air.

The pair turned around, spotting movement in the distance. A large shape emerged from the underbrush, its massive form towering over the trees. A foul stench filled the air as it lumbered towards them, its massive tusks gleaming in the dim light.

"Is that a zombie elephant?" Erik asked in a tiny voice.

"We call them Elephantoms, but yes, in a sense," Talia replied nonchalantly. "They're highly territorial and aggressive, so unless you have any surefire way to take it down, I suggest we run."

Without waiting for Erik's reply, she took off at a sprint, hoping to put some distance between them and the massive creature. Erik spat a series of curses and swears, half of them directed at the Elephantom, while the other for Talia.

"Wait!" he shouted after her, struggling to keep up. "We need to stick together!"

"Accelerate!" Talia shouted a spell back, holding a palm towards Erik. A golden light enveloped him, and he felt his body surge with energy as he sped up. They zigzagged through the trees, avoiding the Elephantom's tusks as it lumbered after them.

"Can't keep this up for long!" Erik gasped, his chest heaving as he ran. "What's the plan?"

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"Elephantoms are relentless, and will chase their targets down," Talia didn't seem winded at all. "Honestly, I'm not even sure why one of them is out right now. They're usually nocturnal during the day time."

"That's very interesting and all, but get to the point!" Erik huffed, glancing over his shoulder as the Elephantom closed in.

"Well, either we keep running forever until we die, or we could kill it using fire, but-"

Erik screeched to a halt, turning around and grabbing what looked like a bottle full of liquid with a rag cloth half-stuffed inside.

"If that was the case, you should've used a fire spell earlier!" Erik yelled, igniting the rag with a small lighter. He tossed the burning bottle at the Elephantom, which missed its mark and landed on the ground. The Elephantom didn't seem to notice as it continued to chase after them.

Erik swore again, resuming his running as he took out another bottle from the bag. He had only brought two molotovs, figuring he didn't think he needed them. With unsteady hands, Erik managed to ignite the cloth fuse, turning back towards the decayed Elephantom.

"Precision!" Talia yelled out another spell, buffing Erik's accuracy.

Erik took careful aim as he hurled the molotov cocktail. It flew through the air, hitting the Elephantom squarely in the back. The Elephantom let out a horrifying screech as it was engulfed in flames, thrashing about wildly before finally falling to the ground.

The forest fell silent as the two of them stood there, Erik panting heavily. Talia glanced at Erik, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. "Not bad," she muttered, before turning her attention back to the fallen Elephantom. "We can use its flesh to make some pretty potent stews. And we can use its bones to make charms against evil spirits."

Erik managed to choke down a breath. "Fuck... using its meat... for food... but charms... doesn't sound... too bad..."

"Well, you'll need it after killing an Elephantom," Talia absentmindedly remarked as she walked up to the burning creature.

"What do you mean... by that?" Erik sat on the forest floor, trying to catch his breath. The trees around them seemed to lean in, watching them with their ancient eyes.

"Like I was trying to explain earlier, we could've killed the Elephantom with fire, but it would bring about a curse upon the killer," Talia explained, picking up the Elephantom's skull. "An Elephantom is a guardian spirit, after all. But if you use its own remains against it, then the curse doesn't apply." She held the skull up to the light, inspecting it before putting it aside. "It's why people usually avoid killing them unless they have no other choice."

Erik silently laid on his back. "So... I'm cursed now?" He asked in disbelief. "What kinda curse is it?"

He turned his head, spotting the ingredient he had risked his life over. The Chunky Runty.

A sense of tearful relief washed over him as Erik sat up, crawling over to the mushroom cluster. However, just before he could gather them, a colony of flying rabbits appeared out of nowhere, devouring the cluster right before his eyes. Erik didn't have time to process what had just happened as a wet and foul liquid splashed on top of him. He didn't have to look up to realize that a Vinesqueal had defecated on him.

"Nothing too lethal, just a curse of extreme bad luck," Talia called out behind him.

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Erik was in a terrible mood by the time the pair returned to the hut. Illyanth raised his head in greeting and immediately snorted violently upon smelling the stench radiating off of Erik.

"Would you like me to rinse you off?" Talia asked Erik, prepping her hands with golden magic. "It'll just take a quick second."

"No, make the goddamn charms first. If you try to wash me right now, who knows what other bad luck will happen to me," Erik scowled, wiping the mess off his face as best he could.

Talia shrugged and retreated inside the hut, getting to work on making the bone charms. Meanwhile, Erik carefully placed the gathered ingredients in the refrigerators, aware that his odor had pretty much cleared the pavilion of Lambwolves.

When she emerged from the hut, Talia held up a small pouch of blackened bone fragments. "Here you go," she said, handing it over to Erik. "These should help counteract the curse." She paused, noticing the sour expression on his face.

"What?" she asked, frowning.

"Nothing," Erik sighed, walking behind the hut and stripping off his clothes. "I'm ready whenever."

He was not ready, barely holding in a shriek as a torrent of cold water blasted his body. He choked and gasped, trying to get his bearings as Talia stood relaxed, ready to hit him with another blast of water.

"Any chance you could make your water warmer?" Erik asked, teeth chattering. "I can't even feel my fingers."

"Well, I could, but it'd be boiling water," Talia said, tilting her head thoughtfully.

"Never mind," Erik resigned himself to his fate as another blast of freezing water struck him.

After getting washed up, Erik went straight to work, conjuring more structures in between rests. As Talia prepared the ingredients to the best of her abilities and concocted a couple of alcoholic drinks, she watched as he constructed a new area behind the pavilion, resembling what she assumed to be a kitchen.

"What exactly are you making back there?" she asked, curious about his progress.

"Kitchen work area. It's where we'll store the ingredients and cook. It's close to the lake too, so we can grab some water pretty quickly while I figure out the water system," Erik wiped sweat from his brow as he spoke. "I've also been working on a smoker over there, so we can experiment with smoked meats and cheeses. I think it'll be a nice addition to our menu."

Talia marveled at the semi-open kitchen, with its countertops made from large stones. She could see a sink, a fire pit, and various hooks and shelves where they could hang and store their tools. The smoker was a large, sturdy contraption, its frame made of thick wood, with a metal grate at the bottom and a thatch-covered wooden box on top. It was also spacious, leaving more than enough room for people to walk past. It seemed as though Erik had already factored in their potential workers.

"This is going to be amazing," she said, walking around the kitchen. "You've really thought of everything. I'm impressed."

"Only in concept," Erik grimaced. "The real test will be tonight. I'm counting on you to really seal the deal on potential workers for this burger joint."

Talia nodded. "Don't worry, I've got this," she assured him. "I won't let you down."

Erik found it hard to believe her.