Two days later, when Jamal Zaheer returned to school, students from other departments came to our department in crowds to catch a glimpse of him.
They expressed their condolences one after the other, showing nothing but expressions of pity.
Tundun's voice could be heard from the human ring that had formed around the center of the room.
"Life Without You is like a leafless fall, a snowless winter, and a flowerless spring. It is like running in the dark with no way to know where we are going...Jamal please don't be sad, come and light up our class with your presence"
Oh how I would love to see her stumble in the dark and get stuck in a gutter. She had always been overly dramatic.
“You're quite the poet, aren’t you Tudun? Thank you for worrying about me.” Jamal said with a smile. And he began hugging every one of them. Strange as it seemed, it was as though he was the one comforting them and not the other way around.
I looked from my desk with part amusement, part annoyance. Most people wouldn't be able to behave as he did. At least I wouldn’t have been able to. After all, I was already annoyed and I was only watching.
Jamal, however, treated each of them with utmost politeness, not having the slightest frown— no, not even laughing. I came to understand once again why he was so famous.
As soon as the stream of students broke off, Jamal stood up and for some reason, with a smile on his face, moved towards me.
"Now this is a surprise. It's pretty unusual for you to approach me spontaneously." I said
“But you came to my mother’s funeral, didn’t you? I wanted to say thanks.” he sat down on Ola’s empty chair and smiled cheerfully at me. “So, thanks for coming, Gabriella.”
"No, it's nothing that deserves your gratitude. I attended only as a class representative. I said.
“But it is. I was somehow relieved at seeing you being as laid-back as usual. I don't really want peiple to feel pity for me but it can't be helped, so im glad you are acting in a different manner. It's refreshing” Jamal smiled.
“Oh, I’m sorry for being such a cold-hearted girl. I was worried about you in my own way, though, you know? Too bad you didn’t notice,” I said and shrugged uncomfortably, whereupon Jamal laughed cheerfully: “I don’t think of you like that!” he said.
“Have things settled down at home?” I asked.
“There are still a lot of things that need to be taken care of, but for the time being, yes.” He said.
“It must be hard for you at home. I can't really imagine what you could be going through, and I don't think from the reception you got today, it would be easy for you, here in school as well. School must have its troublesome aspects too, for someone as popular as you.” I said.
“I am very grateful that everyone is so worried about me.” Jamal reiterated.
“It’s nice when others feel concerned about you, indeed, but there are limits that have to be respected, right? Aren’t those fanatic fans of yours a bother? Especially Tundun. Or Tundun.” I laid emphasis on Tundun because she definitely created an unnecessary scene this morning.
“I’m actually quite fond of that cute side of girls. Feelings from the heart are usually very pure, I can't have anything against that” Jamal said.
I tried to find out his true thoughts by agitating him, but Jamal's smile remained unchanged like an iron wall.
“Your mature behavior is remarkable.” I said rather baffled.
“I am happy that you view me like that, Gabriella.” He accepted even my rather baffled words with a happy tone.
“—Gabriella,” Jamal said my name all of a sudden, “do you remember your promise?”
“…Promise?” I repeated unconsciously. Trying to remember when I ever did that. I don’t remember ever making a promise to him.
“If I’m troubled—” Jamal started.
“—Ah, I see.” I said under my breath. In the midst of him reminding me, I recalled a certain conversation I had with him one morning.
> “But if…,” I began, “if you are troubled, feel free to ask me for help.”
>
> “What’s the matter, Gabriella? I don’t remember you being this gentle?” Jamal smiled even wider.
>
> “I’m gentler than you believe, that’s for sure.” I retorted.
>
> “Is that so?. I’ll be sure to remember that then.”
“Right, that promise.” I said in suspicion. “Yeah, I did promise. Ask for anything that you want, as long as I can help with it."
It was a seed I had sowed myself, but deep in my heart I hoped that he would not have a bothersome request. I knew how guys could be. I hope I haven't dug myself a ditch to fall into.
“It is something I would rather not talk about in the classroom,” explained Jamal with a subdued voice so faint that no one else other than me could hear him.
The next instant, I was tense from tip to toe.
“…I’ll be waiting for you in the library after school,” He whispered and left the classroom elegantly, striding like the king of the world.
The palm of my hand was drenched in sweat. Apparently, I was more tense than I had thought. His suspicious attitude had instantly reminded me of the murder plan.
I felt intrigue rising in me, and I had hoped to eventually hit the root of this matter. But I was also shocked at the same time because no one, obviously including Jamal, would have known that the murder plan was in my hands, but my tension was indication that my fear about the whole affair actually exceeded my curiosity.
“What if Jamal knows that I have his murder plan…?” I thought to myself, picturing an unhappy scenario.
He just finished burying his mother, an indication of the success of his plan, but since I had the plan with me, then I was definitely an unsafe element in the whole sceme of things.
The only two things that were in his way were the murder plan that had gone lost and I, since I knew what was written in it.
And as soon as he got rid of these two unsafe elements, he would have conducted the perfect crime and obtain his own “ideal world”.
…perhaps he was planning on killing me in due time. I mean he already showed that he could eliminate someone without suspicion or even having a hand in the execution. Was I safe? Am I already on a countdown to my death? Is there any meaning to even trying to escape my fate?
I gulped and my heartbeat got faster.
And then—I laughed.
I really didn't want to die. And I also had to admit it was such a nonsensical idea, but: I was fascinated. I was fascinated about how he was going to track me down.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
Where else will I find a sensation like that in my environment? Additionally, the adversary was Jamal Zaheer— I couldn't have wished anyone better.
I was convinced: I have never felt more alive than this moment. It felt like a game to me, only that they weren't any do overs. You only had one life. And yet I was willing to gamble it.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the library.
The room was filled with the scent of paper as dry as fallen leaves. It was not a smell I disliked. At other times, I might have started leisurely browsing the library, but not now.
Even though I was moving leisurely, my eyes were restlessly searching for Jamal.
And before long, I found him.
He was sitting further inside at a desk for studying, reading a book with an elegant cover.
It was quiet anyway, as classes had already ended and this was a library, but the silence around Jamal was even deeper, as though I had crossed into a different world.
Entranced by his majestic beauty, which made it difficult to approach him, I just stood there holding my breath for some time.
His eyes closed and opened gently as he blinked, and he occasionally led his hand to the edge of the page and turned smoothly to the next one. His profile looked like the finest art work, but it was definitely not made by man, but a miracle put forth by God. “I would be a rich woman if I could cut out this scene and frame it,” I thought.
I looked around and I confirmed that nobody was there except for the Liberian at the far entrance busy with God knows what, Jamal and I.
I decided to break the silence. “Again, I am sure the last few days have been difficult for you—,” I leaned against a book shelf as I addressed him, “—Losing your mother in an accident and all that."
Jamal heaved his book, turning slowly to me.
“Yeah, to my father in particular. I've never seen that down-hearted before". He gave a weak, tired laugh.
“How about you?” I directed it to him.
"I'm sorry, but I still haven't healed enough to chat about it yet." Jamal shook a depressed mien.
“I'm sorry, that was a tactless question.” I quickly covered.
“Now that I'm here, what is your request?” I brought up the main topic after a breath, “You specially called me out to the library for this, so I should think it’s something quite special?” I had the murder plan at the back of my mind.
“You told me to ask for your help if I am troubled.” Jamal said with a smirk.
“Yeah.” I finished for him. I didn't like where this was headed.
“Exactly. That’s why I would like to get back to your offer, Gabriella.”
Then he spoke as if humming a tune:
“I want you to go out with me.”
The entirely unexpected words rendered my thoughts void.
To be sure I chose to ask, “Where to?” but Jamal only bewilderedly replied: “You aren’t funny,” and shook his head.
"Somehow I feel guilty asking you for your reasons but aren't you still grieving your mother? I think its absurd that you want to date after losing a loved one."
I had to feign calm unlike Jamal; I watched all of his movements with the utmost attention to decipher his thoughts as my imagination ran full speed.
“Do you want to say I am not thinking straight?” he asked
“If you talk in extremes, yes.” I answered.
“Then you have me wrong! It is mainly because my mother passed away that I felt that I might need someone to love me. Isn't it cute when you call it 'my heart support'? I'm not as strong hearted as everyone feels" Jamal spoke passionately.
That was also a good explanation, but there were still so many points which did not satisfy me.
"Why should it be me then? I don't understand why you'd choose someone like me as a popular guy.'
Jamal chuckled “I didn’t know you were so akward, Gabriella. You do not seem to understand a man's heart at all when you ask why he confessed."
I found his attitude a little irritating.
“Yet do not actually understand the heart of a woman either. At least when the starboy of the school asks me to go out with him all of a sudden, I am not so plain as to have no doubts at all. There's always a downside to attractive offers, isn't there?" As sweet revenge, I scoffed at him.
“Is that so? I was sure that girls never feel bad being confessed to by guys?”
The absolutism in his tone caused me to forget my words for a second. “Indeed... we're super straightforward enough to be pleased about it, but the answer is different case entirely."
I didn’t want to admit it, but he was right. I unintentionally prided myself on the confession that everyone would envy me for. Was it the difference in our experience points? My chances were awfully worse when it came to love.
'Hmmm' was all he said. And the library descended into silence, as it should be.
“Is there a guy you are fond of, Gabriella?” Jamal suddenly asked.
“There isn’t.” I replied truthfully.
Ola's face came to mind for a split second, but I neither liked him enough to mention him distinctly, nor wanted to give Jamal amunition to use against me.
“Is there a guy you are going out with, then?” He asked
“…isn’t the order of questions a bit awry? Usually it would be the other way around, wouldn’t it?” I said dismayed.
“Is that so? Maybe you are going out with someone you don’t love?” he answered with a wondering mien.
I finally think I understand why the guys say all the rumors about you can be real." I shrugged over-exaggeratedly.
“Those rumors are nothing but that, rumors, and you are not the type of person that is swayed by them, Gabriella”
“What makes you so sure? Even I watch my step if I hear some bad rumors, you know?” I said. I felt like I had taken the upper hand in our littlebspar of words, after being on the defensive from the beginning.
Jamal started. “If you want, I can tell you which of them are true and which are not? In return—”
“—I hope you don’t want to make dating the condition.” I finished in a flat tone.
“Our chemistry is right!” Jamal showed no sign of timidity, instead he even smiled brightly.
“As if I’d ever accept such an unfair condition!” This time it was me who was taken aback. “…I didn’t know you were this kind of guy” I said with a slightly raised tone. I felt he had taken the lead again and I was on the defensive once more.
He made me dance to his tune from start to finish. All the possible replies I had simulated in advance for this conversation were going to waste one after another.
“This is my way of paying respect to you, Gabriella! You are the person I wish to go out with. I think there is no point in showing you only a superficial side.”
“I’m sorry about your respect, but haven’t you thought about the possibility that I might refuse?” I said, starting to get exasperated.
“I am ready to accept some amount of damage in order to obtain what I want. If you are afraid of getting hurt, you won’t obtain what you really desire. Well, revealing a few of my cards does not even count as damage anyway.” Jamal said.
“Exceptional self-confidence, indeed! No wonder that the girls of our class find it hard to resist you.” I said.
“I didn’t know you were such an uptight person either. I was rather sure you were the type to let things take their course, Gabriella." Jamal replied.
“I’m much more sensible than you may think. And a little contrary, too. And I’m definitely not daring enough to get myself involved in affairs that make no sense to me or that I can't agree to.” I said.
Jamal just shook is head. “Aren’t you just averse to doing things you are not interested in?”
“I won’t deny that! At any rate, if I go out with you, I won’t have my peace any more. I’m simply not leading my life actively enough as to take to attracting attention, that’s all.” I said honestly.
“It’s a shame that you are so stubborn, Gabriella …,” he said and fell silent.
We shared a painful silence.
Even the shouts of the sports clubs from the grounds seemed loud inside the soundless library and I heard the rustling of his jacket all too clearly when Jamal crossed his arms
Jamal's gaze was listlessly wandering about in the air, hesitating about something.
Even such trivial gestures looked like a scene of a movie, sweetening the time until his next words and keeping me from getting bored.
Then I saw his lips move calmly.
“—if I tell you the reason why I chose you, will you be more open towards my request?”
I gulped down. In my imagination he got straight to the point and proclaimed that the reason was that I had the murder plan.
Such an answer would of course be quite absurd, but since Jamal seemed to be an unpredictable person, I could no longer consider it impossible. On top of that, Jamal's secret character was brave, determined, and incredibly clever.
That was the type of guy coming up to me. I couldn't help but think that his offer to go out with me was some kind of trap.
“—More than now,” I replied, choosing my words carefully.
I had hardly finished speaking when he raised one of his brows and smiled mischievously.
“Because I like your looks coupled with the fact that you are the only girl I've met that doesn't seem to worship the ground I walk. It would be even better if you weren’t a faultfinder."
His reply caught me so flat-footed that I would have liked to fall on the floor, but I contained myself and launched a counterattack.
“What a coincidence. I also think you’re not half-bad, save for your personality.”
“We would make a well-matched couple then, wouldn’t we?” Jamal shrugged.
“In the sense of awful, sure.” I said, imitating him by shrugging too.
His constantly playing around with me had completely cooled me down.
Suspecting Jamal Zaheet to be a “murderer” suddenly felt terribly idiotic and embarrassing.
Jamal was certainly a determined and confident man, but I also knew he was definitely not foolish. And if he had conceivably deemed his mother an annoyance, he would have found several other ways to get rid of her without using the "murder" route.
In the first place, could someone who had committed murder remain that composed? he was a peculiar guy, but I couldn’t sense even a shred of shadiness or malicious emotion in him.
Suddenly——something touched my bangs. I reflexively jumped backward.
“—I’m sorry.”
After taking a look, I noticed that Jamal had stood up from his chair and had stretched his smooth fingers towards me.
“Your hair looked so beautiful that I wanted to touch it very badly.” Jamal gave me a bewitching smile, beautiful like the light of the sun.
—A shiver ran down my spine.
To me, that guy didn’t seem to be from the same world.
“Please think about it seriously,” Jamsl said and moved toward the exit.
While he passed me, his perfume stroked my cheek and left behind a strong scent.
Even though I had planned to learn more about him, I now understood Jamal Zaheer even less than before.
Then I recalled how Tundun had compared him to wine.
Indeed.
I had been intoxicated by Jamal Zaheer.