So, okay, an update is in order.

It got worse. (Laugh all you want. )

First off, looking back over what I wrote, apologies. My mind, if that is the right word, is still scrambled. I know words, but I do not know the meaning of many. I mean, I can say things like mind, but at the same time…. What is a mind? No idea. See what I mean?

So, let's just assume for now. If I was wrong, only I can harass me about mistakes I made. I mean, I at least have to try?

So, let's try an update.

* The rock. It is small, I have nothing to compare it to, but I get the idea that the rock is small. Like, tiny.

* The world: mostly lightless. As of yet, no idea what I am perceiving with. Light has something to do with perception, right?

* Perception: Interestingly, quite flexible. I know that sounds wrong, because to me, it also sounds wrong, but let's leave it at that. Let me give you an example. I know about perspective. It works based on the idea that you perceive from a point. My problem is, I can shift my perspective. When I do so, I have to perceive something. Then, I use my…

* Focus. Okay, see what I said about observing thoughts, and non observing thoughts? Focus seems like a good word for non observing thoughts. I can move my focus, grab a hold of something, and pull my perspective over. IT is interesting to shift this, even if it seems wrong. If I let go, my perspective snaps back, centering on the rock. I can move it side to side, I can turn it around (this is how I figured out that perception is centered around a point), I can go away. BUt it always snaps back. The interesting thing is, the point is always the same.

* The stone grows. It is weird to say so, but I have observed it, quietly and patiently. IT did not grow. I did things. It grew a bit. I started reflecting, like I do now. IT grew a lot.

* Line of sight exists, …. Kind of. It is hard to tell, so I want to make it clear. I can see the stone from any angle, with what, I do not know, anyways, but in some positions, I do not see the stone, but I feel where everything is.

The last point is of some concern to me.

See, I know that not everytime I see something, it has to be direct. I can turn away from a thing, I can rotate the perspective away, and when I rotate my perspective back, it is still there.

BUT I FEEL it the entire time. Scary stuff, I know.

I know that is not how it should be. I know that you can not perceive things, but still know where they are. THis is… different. I rotate the perspective away from that stone, until it is not inside my perspective, and then see what I perceive.

I get a feeling of flow.

THis is a new thing.

See, before, I mostly did my moving around, and shifting my perspective. Very difficult if all you have is a stone, and then dark. FLOW allows me to judge. Gain more information.

I can deduce a bit.

Flow means that, if I leave out what precisely flows, that there are four different states.

Flow creator, an area where what flows originates.

Pass through, where flow passes.

Not pass through, where flow does not pass. Also, stillness.

Flow destroyer, where flow ends.

I observe, and really wish I had a body. Well, even without a body, I now at least have something. PERSPECTIVE centerpoint disrupts flow. Perspective does not.

My area has a sense of smoll ness, and honestly, it is kind of pretty. There is next to no light, only the stone has some sort of glow, so I can not make out much, but I feel it.

By that logic, I can separate my area. Mostly, sadly, it is flow. A flow creator would have been nice, a flow destroyer would have been nice, but flow… I can work with that.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

I separate it in above the stone, and below the stone.

IF I make an assumption, the more the stone in the middle seems to grow, the more the area grows. Thus, I can deduce that there is a system at work here. Systems can be gamed, if I understand how they work.

For now, I leave toying with perspective aside, and perceive my stone. The stone grows. That much is a fact. IT grows the more I … think?

I can deduce from it that thinking allows the stone to grow. I can see the stone that looks as round as my area slowly increases in size.

I stop, and think more on that. It seems important. I think nothing, and just observe. Then, I think.

1

I study what happens.

The very tiny bit of light and glow seems to react, and just flash. Before, it was just… the way it was, now it is different. I gain satisfaction from that, and think.

2

Different from one, and distinct. Again, a short glow, and it grows a bit.

Seeing as I have nothing else to do, I set methodically to counting. Each number I think clearly and precisely increases the stone. I can think one again, and it does not blink. I think two again, and also, nothing.

3

A blink.

Hypothesis: The stone grows the more I think. They have to be distinct thoughts.

Test: I start counting, slow and deliberate, and Observe.

Please stand by.

…

……

………

I can force the stone to grow, by counting upwards.

It takes me a while, but I can count for a long time. As long as nothing happens…

Please wait.

I feel the other thoughts again. IF I had to give them a feeling, I can now distinguish that feeling. IT is cold. My thoughts feel warm.

The other thoughts seem to be… annoyed? The word seems to fit, but it is not enough. Like the thoughts of someone who thought a thing, and then was disappointed.

AHA! Well, fuck you, second thoughts, this is agency. I can do whatever the fuck I like. I can count numbers. Stop me if you dare to.

342….

I amuse myself by making other observations. I can think in base 10, apparently. I have no idea what that means, but it feels right. Base 10 is different from base 2. Base 2, that is, is something, or is something not. Somehow, this seems more comforting.

BUt okay, counting it is then.

I quickly fall into the same pattern. I think of a number, but the next number I think off, is one higher than the last. That creates a new number.

I stop myself as I feel the other thoughts again.

Formula?

I stop for a while, and even feel my ferocious counting stop. By now, the sphere blinks again and again.

Formula. I see numbers. Many numbers expressed in a row. IT takes time.

I see a single expression, that is like… a rule. A created rule to govern what I have to do.

I also notice that I have become heavy with stillness.

But how to create....

I have my focus, and flow.

I ponder the idea for a bit, and decide to …

I stop myself. Observing where my focus point rests on, I see a little island of calm.

I follow the idea, and keep my focus on the point, while I rotate my perspective around so I see my focus point, and the Rock. I feel the flow, and pay close attention. Flow around the rock seems to stagnate, when I count, and the same stagnation is available in the area that I am in. IT gets created there.

Curious.

Out of a whim, I study what happens when I place my stillness gets placed in the way of flow. It is not difficult to stop thinking and counting.

I see the flow stop, and flow around it, like a liquid.

INTERESTING.

This is the first that I have to do, aside from counting, to annoy the hell out of the cold thoughts.

Still areas are still, until they meet flow.

Flow flows around still areas.

Still areas can be maintained, expanded and decreased. Depending if I have my focus on them.

I smile, and use my counting as experimentation. I make a small V shape of stillness, that I carefully open at the end. ONly a trickle comes out. I make it even thinner, until…. There are bubbles of flow.

I very happily realize that the bubbling flow can not be directed, but that is okay, because it will be.

I figured out the flow in my area, found where my stone was, formed the V gate, and …..

It made a tickle past the stone. A trickle I could feel, as each of those bubbles hit the stone.

I realized another thing.

The stone got less blinky when I created it, and more blinky when I thought. Another state entered, as it got increasingly bigger when I shifted the V around.

I shifted the V, and focussed the stream of bubbles of flow towards my stone.

Blink.

Blink.

Three things were proven at that moment.

1. Flow was good. I could not create flow, but I could control flow with stillness.

2. My focus allowed me to create. There was nothing around me, but it charged the stone. Flow was some sort of a ressource.

3. Flow could be used to do work.

4. Something was tracking my progress by the amount of individual thought.

Somewhat happy (again, no idea what it actually meant, but then again, for a being that a time ago was in existential dread about not knowing if it actually existed, this was progress), I happily set up, and counted the blips that I felt.

86.400.

I felt that. Before I realized the cold thoughts were back again.

Experience: 1

Mana: 1/1.

Mana Regeneration: 1 per 24 hours.

I did not know if a stone with a weird delusion of grandeur could smile, or what smiling was. But I had the idea that the cold thoughts observing me … shivered.

This was some sort of a game. I liked games, because I was good at them.