I invest myself into reporting bugs for the rest of the day.

I pull out my notes from Friday and go through them one by one. In the background, I occasionally hear the sound of a collapsing Jenga tower.

While I flood the server with more and more reports, the hour progressively reaches 16:40.

“I did it!”

Lily runs to me with a happy face.

I turn around and look at the Jenga tower. It’s really done, even built correctly.

“You did well...”

It’s rather difficult to sincerely praise her, since I don’t understand what was so difficult about it.

“I’m amazing, right?”

She grins and pierces me with glittering eyes, no doubt expecting more praises.

“Ah, y-yeah...”

It really is amazing, that it took her more than 4 hours to figure out something so simple...

“We can play together now!”

She announces happily.

“O-of course, I’ll only play with you if you beg me enough, hmph.”

She lifts her chin in arrogance.

“Nah, the day is already over. I’ll have to turn you off now.”

“Oh... I understand...”

Her cheerful demeanor shatters into sadness. She hangs her head and slowly walks toward her bed. I pick up her remote controller and follow her.

She hops onto the bed and lays down.

“Papa...”

“What?”

I turn the remote toward her, about to press the “off” button.

“Do you... um... hate me?”

She fidgets nervously while stabbing me with this question.

“T-that’s... no, of course not...”

The remote trembles in my hand.

“Really?”

Her eyes open widely and she looks at me with innocent expectation.

“Y-yeah, no way I could hate you...”

“I’m glad.”

She smiles timidly and innocently.

“N-not that I cared or anything, h-hmph!”

Her face is tinted pink and she averts her face away from me.

I feel horrible.

Her naive reactions of happiness are misled by my words. This girl probably believes that her beloved father loves her.

But I... I’m just a mess.

I put down the remote and walk toward my backpack, to take out the toy necklace which I bought for my daughter.

What feelings drove me to buy this necklace?  What was I feeling when I stood in the shop, getting excited over the idea of giving Lily a present?

These feelings feel so distant and alien; I can’t recall them.

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If the love I bore for my daughter still exists somewhere - it’d be only inside this cheap 4$ necklace.

Perhaps if I give her this necklace, I’d be able to convey some of my lost affection to her. The current me feels nothing, but the me who bought this necklace was overflowing with emotions.

“Lily... I have a present for you.”

I take the necklace out of the plastic box and bring it toward Lily.

“O-oh!”

She gasps upon seeing the icy necklace. It’s a cheap toy, but the innocent child looks thoroughly impressed.

“Sit down, I’ll put it on you.”

“W-well, if you insist so much, h-hmph.”

She tries to act tsuntsun, but can’t hide her happy smile. Once she assumes a sitting posture, I wrap the necklace around her neck.

“It’s pretty!”

She closely examines the necklace I gave her.

“Papa, thank you!”

“Ah!?”

She latches on me and hugs me with her tiny arms.

“A-ah... I...”

My whole body turns stiff, I can’t move a muscle.

T-this...

I...

Ah...

“Papa? Are you crying?”

“E-eh? O-of course not!”

I quickly wipe any possible tears from my face and turn toward Lily.

“H-hmph, not that I care.”

She puffs her cheeks and turns her head away, while still throwing me a couple of worried glances.

“T-that’s it, I’m turning you off.”

“Hmph, if you insist so much then I might as well allow it.”

Despite acting cheeky, she obediently lays down on the bed. I grab the remote and point it at her.

“Y-you better make sure you turn me on again. N-not like I’ll be waiting or anything, hmph!”

I press the “off” button. Her eyes slowly close and she turns motionless.

Usually, when she is turned off, both of her hands rest at the sides of her body. However, this time she fell asleep while tightly holding the necklace I gifted her.

She was so happy that even I... I...

“Gah.”

I quickly grab my backpack and head to the exit.

Will it all happen all over again? Will this cute girl invade my heart yet again?

Making me love her, only to hurt me by forgetting all about me.

This is too cruel for me to bear.

And yet, I’m probably too weak to resist it. She is so cute, so loving and so endearing.

Even though my feelings about her are currently messy and clouded, I fear that they may change in the near future.

Rather, I think... they have already begun to change.