Acquaintances make up the majority of the people you know. And although you know them, you don’t actually know them.

New Guy was the same. In fact, in this thirty second time frame where I got the rope, I had already forgotten his agenda.

“I’ve erred!” New Guy shouts, “Of course you fiends ought to be able to distinguish friend and foe,”

He acts like he didn’t just expose himself, and that’s what makes this even more infuriating. Frankly, I want to shoot him.

No, actually, I already had a lock on him.

“Ah ah ah, not so fast! I have a hostage!”

“Horse shite,” A hostage? “Who could it be? It’s just the three of us in this room,”

“That’s right,” A grin unbefitting of the nice guy New Guy unfolds, “Three of us,”

Wait a minute…

Three. Three. THREE.

Laffer!? How did this happen?! I thought you were Steel ranked!

I internally screech whilst outwardly pressing a palm to my face.

“Hol’up, I’m the hostage?!” Laffer, certified professional dumbass, has managed to somehow find himself bound in rope and chain. The magickal kind.

He kneels at New Guy’s feet, positioned a solid six metres away from myself.

What the Hell, man? Be more conscious of your situation!

Sigh, I swear I’m surrounded by idiots.

“Wait, I’m a hostage! Don’t leave!”

Siiiigh, I have to save you now? “I’m a whole rank lower than you, save yourself,”

“NoOOoOOo, have a heart! You won’t get a girl if you’re always like this!”

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh, this huh? I’ve had to have heard this sewer waste of a pretence at least a hundred dozen times and I’m sick of it.

I’m considering knocking a bolt straight in Laffer’s gut just for saying that.

C’mon, if you don’t come with us you won’t get any girls y’know?

Be more chill man, don’t be such a stickler. You won’t get any girls like that.

Why would you do that?! Have some empathy! You won’t get yourself a woman like that!

Yeah no, needless to say, I’ve heard all the variations of this phrase and I simply, no matter how ardently I go, am not able to muster even a single flying piece of crap about it.

If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

“Wait stop! Aren’t you supposed to help him?” Outstretched toward me is a hand. Not Laffer’s hand.

Godsdamn man, usually when you take a hostage it’s to exchange it for something. And considering the situation. It’d be your bail. And I’m giving it to you!

“So wouldn’t me leaving be the best thing for you?!”

“Ah,” He flinches as the scales fall from his eyes, “But I though… I thought that y’know, you’d do everything in your power to stop me…”

Buddy, I’m not a hero. “I cannot give a dime if you’re about to kill Laffer or whatever. In fact, it’d be better for the whole realm if you did,”

So go ahead. Kill him.

I don’t explicitly say it, but New Guy is a smart fellow. He should be able to read my scornful eyes.

“You…! You’re serious about that?!”

Don’t act so shocked after you made all those false allegations! It makes me actually feel like the bad guy.

“Sleeper! I’m serious here! You gotta come and save him!” He threatens. Unfortunately, he’s threatening Laffer.

Maybe if it were a child I might waver, but this Laffer’s a villain through and through.

“Prithee i begeth of thee. This dastardly fiend hast a might yond not coequal I, the magnificent Laffer can withstandeth! I’ll very much kicketh the bucket!”

Hmmm, yes yes, wordy word word. "I 100% understand," I nod, putting a hand to my chin in mock contemplation.

“Speak engrish you dumbass!” Breaking the pose, I throw a stein at Laffer’s head. I tried to dome him, but it only mulched into the side of his face.

Ooooh nooo, it seems that my accuracy has been impaired~!

Mhmm, looks like I can't partake in this farce anymore.

“I’m being legit here, Sle— Jeffrey. Weren’t you part of the guard corps in Sharne? Where’s your justice? You should be helping this man!”

“Wrong, as part of the guard corps in Sharne, it’d be my unbending duty to eliminate him,” My frigid glare burrows deep into New Guy.

“No wait, that was presumptuous of me to bring up your past. My apologies,” New Guy performs a curt bow, but it feels patronising, “But as a part of the same cult… You’re bonds should be eternal!” He raises his fist high like a motivational speaker giving a pep talk.

Doubt that.

“Come! You have to save this fellow!”

Psychological manipulation? Won’t work.

I don’t want to.

“So you’re going to be the hand that pulls the trigger, huh?” New Guy gives me the signature look of disgust. Like he’s staring at irredeemable trash, absolute crap that even maggots would stay away from.

Dammit man! How am I being made out as the bad guy!?

Actually… Interpreting this situation judiciously—

— There is a man held hostage

— He is a comrade of mine who helped me out when I was trouble with the law a while back

— We’re part of the same organisation

— He gives me advice now and then

— Donates to the local orphanage with his spare money

— Doesn’t drink

— Reports criminal activity even at the risk of his own health and wellbeing

— Is actually a good person (kinda)

— Would sack his own life to save others

— Doesn't murder wantonly

— Has no material want

— Actually has a rather acceptable boundary of justice

Putting these factors into account, I can safely say… I’m the bad guy…!?

SHHHHHIIIT!

This revelation. It—it astounds me. How can this be?

I—I always have the moral high ground! It’s all I have…

No, that’s wrong. Lazari, Lily… They’re cute. I’d die in their place any time of day so I guess high ground isn’t my only possession then.

To value something else above myself would be to say that I have things that I couldn’t live without.

“Ergo, I can afford to withdraw my moral high ground!”

“What?” I receive two parallel responses, to which I quickly duck out of the room all the while flipping the bird at them.

Yes, both of them.

“It’s been a while crocodile!”