“Hey, Half-Smile. Did you know the circus was in town? It’s us! Hahahahaha!”

The zombie was a tough crowd. Too bad, Rayshade thought. His sense of humour was simply above his level. You required a sharp intellect to get the punchline, an area where the zombie was defective.

“Did you hear me, Half-Smile? There’s two humans living here now. For free. Wait till they find out the murderer is under the same roof as them! Wait till they see you! What a show!”

Soldier was beginning to get skilled at ignoring his ghost. Rayshade was, at the least, relieved that Soldier still preferred to spend his hours in their shared room. He lay on the bed the way he usually did, before Slyspore came along. Some things never changed, and that comforted him.

“I think,” Rayshade said, floating by the doorframe and peeking over the balcony into the courtyard at the new guests. “the mother is in more danger than the boy now. He’s dead beat by tonight, again … but I doubt Greyleaf will leave the mother alive this time … only to have her son resurrected again … Oh what the hell – he can see me?”

The boy, almost as if he heard Rayshade, looked up to him directly in the eye.

“Is it possible? Or is he just sensitive? Either way, something is severely wrong about him. Never trust a Resurrection, is what I always say. The undead … they’re a mess. You and I not excluded, Soldier … we’re not excluded …”

Slyspore’s voice echoed across the courtyard. “You can take the room next to mine. It gets a bit cold in here sometimes. Don’t mind it. And err – please don’t go upstairs.”

The mother now followed her son’s gaze towards Rayshade. Her eyes saw through him, but his was still fixed on the ghost.

“Fantastic,” said Rayshade. “Slyspore has no idea how to be subtle, does she? Oh, just direct all the attention to precisely where you don’t want to gather attention … makes sense, doesn’t it? Please don’t go upstairs … a warning which nobody ever heeded.”

“And you can join me in the kitchen for supper,” Slyspore finished with a nervous touch to the lichen on her horns. “Shane? Did you hear me?”

The boy blinked, finally tearing his gaze away from Rayshade, who was growing more and more uncomfortable. “I heard you.”

“Great.”

“I wonder, who is haunting who here?” Rayshade mumbled. “Soldier! You know you’re stuck in this room until the humans leave, right? Soldier, I’m talking to you.”

No response.

“Oh, and look. She’s regrowing the fungus garden… how hideous. Appalling. Absurd. What’s another word for disgusting? And those goddamn construction workers. They’re infesting my house with pink candyfloss!”

One worker at that moment was attempting to ascend a ladder to finish off his efforts in the ceiling. Rayshade only saw an opportunity.

“Know what, Soldier? My house is magical, don’t you agree? Sometimes, it’s so beautiful, it could knock you off your feet.” And he glided through the worker, buckling the ladder.

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“That’s it!” said the man. He groaned on the floor. “My back can’t take this. Argh! I’m leaving! I quit! This place is cursed!”

“That’s right,” Rayshade replied.

“Miss! Miss Slyspore!”

She looked up from the sandpit. “Yes?”

“Miss,” said the breathless worker. “Too many stairs. Give me one moment.”

“Err – sure. Take a breather.”

“Miss. This house doesn’t – it’s – you’re –”

“Did something happen?”

“Did something happen! Miss – something’s been happening all day. Your house – it’s haunted, for real. Now I was just on my ladder, it’s a sturdy thing – I know because I worry that – nevermind. I just know. And out of nowhere, the ladder falls. What am I saying? It didn’t just fall – it was lifted off its feet!”

“I’m sorry about the floors. Might have to replace those lose things as well. Err – do you want some tea? Or –”

“Tea! No! Look, I know the world is different now, I don’t have a problem with you Fae. I mean our very own Rimmer there is something of a warlock herself.”

Rimmer – an ebony-skinned woman with pink and blue streaks in her hair and a screwdriver between her lips – raised her hand in acknowledgment.

“Oh, that’s lovely,” said Slyspore. “Tea for everyone, then?”

“Forget the tea!” Tan shrieked now, making Slyspore jump a little. “Miss – there’s no polite way to say this. But you have a problem that can’t be ignored with tea. There are ghosts here!”

“He’s right,” Rayshade murmured, standing beside Slyspore. “There are ghosts right here. Although he got one thing wrong – this is my house.” He topped off his performance by heaving the double doors wide open, and then shutting them with a thunderous bang. All the workers shivered.

Slyspore looked at the man. “It’s just wind. The wood –”

She was interrupted by Soldier, who had rushed out of his room in concern for the loud noise. For a moment, everything was still.

“Zombie!” someone yelled.

“Excellent timing, Soldier!” Rayshade beamed as he watched the workers abandon their stations, screaming and praying. “That’s right. Let me show you the way out – yes there’s the door. Good riddance!” He tailed a worker out the pebble pathway, in such a hurry to leave that he dropped a breadcrumb trail of tools and nails and screws behind him. “And don’t come back! Get him, Springtail, get him!”

The dog wasn’t bothered.

“Whatever,” Rayshade huffed. The helmeted people were already specks in the distance, which disappeared one after the other as they teleported. He saw ultramarine ghosts of birds chirping in nests on a low hanging branch over the House. He shook his head. “Ghosts.”

Inside, Rayshade was pleased to see the Slyspore finally looking solemn.

“I’m sorry,” said the boy, Shane. He touched her shoulder lightly. “I can help with this.”

“Thank you, but you’re a guest here.” said the Slyspore, looking out the door at the darkening sky, “And it’s getting late. I need you to stay in your room no matter what happens.”

“Is that part of the plan, then?” Shane’s mother asked. “Will you – I mean can you –”

“Hold off the killer?” Slyspore let her eyes wander around the upper floors, seemingly randomly. But Rayshade saw that she was looking towards Greyleaf’s room. It was empty at the moment. He disappeared during the day, returning only at evening. Rayshade followed him once to see that when he wasn’t around murdering people, he was visiting various pubs and casinos. Distracting himself. Escaping something.

“I’ll do what I can,” said Slyspore. “If he shows up tonight.”

“She,” Shane corrected.

Rayshade looked from one person to the next, savouring the confused silence between them. “Oh this is good. Soldier, you’re missing out. Slyspore knows! She knows. And now she’s gonna totally die. They haven’t seen Greyleaf in action. They’re all doomed. Their plan is not going to work against a faery like Greyleaf.”

He paused for Soldier to respond.

“Soldier? Hey – where are you going? I’m talking to you! Get back here.”

The zombie disappeared into the kitchen with Slyspore. Was it supper time already? What a waste, Rayshade thought. He lingered uselessly in the courtyard, wanting badly to kick or throw something, destroy anything.

“No matter,” he said to himself. “I have a feeling things are about to get destroyed. Their stupid plan is not going to work.”

The last thing he saw of the new guests was the mother closing their room door and locking it.