Up until now, my experience with 'pirates' had consisted of annoying brats trying to steal and copy certain recordings of mine. And, while I doubted these scallywags(arr) were anywhere as crafty, spiteful or well-armed as a teen Drood, it never hurt to be careful.

As, such, I stood up, hands raised and palms out, to show I came in peace. The boat's shield meant I could be seen while being decently protected. I wasn't really sure what the alien inhabitants of this world-though, perhaps, not so alien, if their piratical symbols matched ours-would use as weapons, if it came down to a fight.

Really gotta talk to the London Knights one of these days. They have fifteen centuries of experience in battling in alien, faraway realms, and we can bond over being prickly, uptight groups of armour-polishers.

While I was musing over causing a diplomatic incident between my family and our unfriendly rivals, the ship sailed closer, stopping aa few dozen metres away from my boat. A hundred or so scruff-looking human chaps ran to the railing, wearing modern-looking, if ragged, clothes, too.

I pouted, quite thankful for my mask. I suppose my expectations had been seen a little too high since Pirates of the Caribbean, and the kraken we'd managed to convince people had been fake.

The lads gave my motorboat some pretty dubious looks, which turned into narrow-eyed glares when they saw my golden-armoured form. Half of them pulled out cutlasses and flintlocks, but not with the bloodthirsty enthusiasm I'd expected of a pirate crew stumbling upon a lone sailor. In fact...

Focusing my sight with the help of my mask, I zoomed in on them, noticing the bags under their eyes, the tired, hungry expressions, and the bandaged wounds that poked out from under their clothes.

Before they could attempt to use me as a target, a big guy came up to the railing. He looked several heads taller than me, broad and muscled, with close-cropped purple hair and a bandage around his forehead. Given his fur-edged coat and the way the pirates cringed away to let him walk, he was probably the captain.

Their reactions were understandable, really. Wouldn't want grimace here to crunch me.

'You,' he pointed down at me, not bothering with any niceties. 'What are you?'

'Human, if that's what you're asking...' Given how his frown deepened, that might not have been what he'd meant. 'It's armour. Just...staying safe, you know.'

'I don't give a damn about your race,' he sneered, but his phrasing had intrigued me. Were there multiple humanoid species living on this world? 'Are you a Marine or a pirate? You fly no flag, and sail alone, on that little...' His eyes glimmered with something I didn't like as he took in my boat. 'Contraption. How long have you been sailing?'

No reason to lie. The Droods were pretty infamous across the multiverse, but, if they hadn't recognised the armour... 'Just set out from home a few hours ago.'

'Looking for the One Piece, are you?' He laid calloused hands on the railing, leaning forward to inspect me, maybe hoping to read my body language.

'I don't know what that is. I'm...kind of new around here.'

At this, most of the pirates scoffed, a few laughing in disbelief. The big guy's brow furrowed, though I couldn't tell if he was confused or just believed I was bullshitting him. It didn't last long, though, as he straightened up, smiling, turning slightly to gesture at someone I couldn't see. 'Won't you come aboard? Surely a rookie like you is feeling lonely, eh? We'll bring up your boat, and you can share your food while we share our experience.'

The crewmen preened at the mention of their experience, but it couldn't quite hide their excitement at the promise of food. I almost felt bad for having to reveal the Armourer believed taste was something to do with clothes, and wholly unnecessary to boot.

Nodding cautiously, I tapped a few buttons on the boat's control panel, causing its shield to to split and descend back into the compartments hidden into its sides. Tensing my legs slightly, I jumped, causing the boat to tilt forward slightly as the waters around it rippled like a whale had dropped into them. With my armoured strength, I cleared the tens of metres up to the railing easily, landing on the deck behind the surprised crewmen, who turned, still clutching their weapons. They had only realised I had moved by the time I'd landed.

Purple hair nodded at me, but made no move to come forward and shake my hand. Should I armour down, as a sign of trust? But they were all still armed, and...I didn't trust them, anyway.

My indecision saved me, as, at a twitch of the captain's right hand, the pirates raised their guns and peppered my armoured back with shot. Thanks to my expanded senses, I could see them almost as if they were standing in front of me, their round floating through the air like lazy butterflies, shockwaves rippling like slowly-blooming flowers.

I turned so fast the wood under me splintered, and my gauntlets came up to casually pluck each shot out of the air, their force spreading harmlessly over the strange matter. I could have simply absorbed them into the armour, but that would have made my next trick impossible.

Holding the pile of still-smoking shot in one hand, I waved at them with the other one. 'Boys, please, we barely know each other. Isn't it a little early for me to play with your balls?'

I grinned under my mask at their curses as fifty rushed me, swords drawn. The rest hung back, reloading with murderous looks in their eyes.

I threw the rounds at the wannabe swashbucklers, catching most of them in the legs and guts. The rest ran past them without a glance, cutlasses raised, while their comrades sent another volley at me.

They wanted to play swords and guns? Fine. Two could play that g-

My vision spun as something sharp and heavy took me in the side, sending me flying across the deck so fast it shattered under me, and into one of the masts, breaking it in half. I was on my feet instantly, catching the shattered mast's upper half and hefting it under one arm like a newspaper.

Dammit. I'd gotten so smug handling the scrubs, I'd forgotten about their captain.

The prick in question was swinging a giant morningstar overhead, his coat now serving as a cape over golden armour that covered him from the waist up. Massive pauldrons gleamed in the sun, and I tried to use my armour's sight to try and see inside them, before I got jumped again, forcing me to drop the mast.

One of my new opponents was an dark-skinned, dark-haired guy wearing white pants and a jacket, with red serpents over a green shirt. He had a white, blue-striped headband, and stubble on his sallow face. In each hand, he held a tonfa he definitely knew how to use, given how he'd blindsided me, almost knocking me off-balance with a strike to the neck.

The other one was almost as tall as his boss, big and broad, with round metal shields covering his torso and back, and a bubble-like helmet on his head. He grinned down at me as he paced, the deck creaking under each step.

Between these three and the chumps, I was dying for some breathing room, so I did what I do best, besides stirring my witch's cauldron: I pissed them off.

'C'mon, Jackass Chump; you can't just jump on my back when I'm at half-mast and about to impale your boss! I'll handle you all, don't worry...'

Bubblehead laughed at this, while tonfa scowled. 'He's making you look like an idiot, Gin!'

'Takes one to know one,' the newly-named Gin grumbled. I was just about to suggest a little of his namesake, when captain crunch brough his flail down again, eager to put me through the ship. Shaping one gauntlet into a sword, I swung behind and above me, splitting what felt like a ton of solid steel like it was air. One of the weapon's halves dropped down on the deck, cracking it, while the other hung on the chain by a thread. Snorting, purple hair casually tossed it away, crushing one of his men into red paste.

The others briefly stared at him, but didn't say anything. Were they...were they used to this?

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

I didn't have time to wonder about their horrendous choices in leaders, because bubblehead jumped at me like Humpty-Dumpty on meth, briefly hanging in midair several stories above my head, before gravity brough him down like an elephant who'd taken up parachuting.

Shifting the sword back into a gauntlet, I opened my palm and raised it, stopping him in a clash that sent Gin and the captain flying. My hand sank through his shield and chest like a knife through playdough. By the time I pushed him away, his ribs were visible through the ruin of metal and flesh. Some shield splinters had been driven into and between his ribs, glinting like fangs bared in a grin.

Bubblehead looked down at himself with wide eyes, a horrified scream escaping his lips while blood run down his chin. 'Y-You son of a bitch!' He gurgled, clapping the shields on his arms together like one of those creepy monkey toys, so hard and fast big, fat sparks jumped from their clash. In no time, the ship was on fire, and so was he. The captain roared in anger, though I got the feeling he was more peeved about his ship than his subordinate, while Gin ground his teeth. 'You damn idiot, Pearl!'

Pearl rushed me like a hippo out of hell, looking to flatten me into a crispy Drood. I was happy to disappoint him.

Forming my sword again, I raised it overhead, bringing it down when he was a metre from me, and splitting him clean in half. I sidestepped his twitching remains, which kept going for a few more steps, out of sheer momentum. Then, I raised my other hand, shaped into a gatling, and let rip just as the pirates opened fire once more. Why not kill two birds with one strike, when my reflexes and aim let me treat fights like FPS shooting games?

Strange matter bullets pulverised the metal shield on Pearl's back, as well as what remained of Pearl, and kept going. The captain had moved closer to the railing during our scuffle, so I didn't catch him. I did, however, manage to shoot each of their rounds out of the air, as well as their heads off their shoulders and their limbs out of their sockets. Moving my arm leisurely, like I was helping Maggie water her plants, I spun in place, splintering the remaining masts and turning all pirates besides Gin and the captain(though, could I really call him that anymore? All he commanded was a single guy and my attention), who dodged, the former by jumping several times his height, while spinning so that the few rounds that approached him only grazed his arms and legs, the latter by ducking under my bullets.

Neither had tried to parry or deflect, though. I suppose my demonstration against Pearl had made them wise up.

As the big guy rose to his feet, his pauldrons and armour opened to reveal gun barrels. I made a point of shooting each round out of the air, forcing him to dodge the unstoppable strange matter bullets, until he ran out of either ammo or patience. Swearing, he nodded to Gin, an unreadable expression in his eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the pirate nod back, and put a gas mask on. The captain fired a round shell at me, and I braced, trusting my armour to protect me from whatever gas or chemical he had in store.

Instead, shuriken clanged and broke against my armour, while Gin opened fire at my head from behind with a pair of pistols, one single-barreled, the other double-barreled and longer, almost like a shotgun. I prepared to turn both arms into gatlings and shoot them, but then purple hair fired another shell into the air, and purple smoke obscured them.

Not for long, though. Focusing my will, I stared intently at the gas rendered harmless by my armour, until it became transparent, just like the glowing flames Pearl had set off. I saw Gin preparing to leap, tonfa now bearing heavy metal spheres at the end, while the captain, also wearing a mask, raised a spear bearing the pauldrons he had removed. Cocking back one arm, he prepared to throw the spear, then stopped at the last moment, while Gin opened fire again. A distraction-just as they'd intended.

The captain raised his other arm, and brilliant flames roared out of a muzzle, turning the mast half close to me and the parts of the deck that were untouched by fire to ash.

Shaking my head, I slammed my gauntlets together, dispersing the flames and gas for over a dozen metres around, to the pirates' surprise.

Undeterred, Gin came at me, the deck shattering under his feet, swinging one tonfa at my neck and the other at my crotch. A thought made my armour ripple, spinning blades rising out of it to cut his weapons apart. Disarmed, the pirate brought himself to a halt with a stomp, then flipped backwards, eyes darting around for a weapon, or at least something to distract me with.

'Don't you dare run away, Gin,' the big guy sneered, stalking closer to me, hefting his spear. The acrobatic pirate shook his head.

'Of course not, Don Krieg.'

Seemingly satisfied at this answer, Krieg smiled, then whistled at me. I spun to face him, head tilted, and he ran at me, spear raised. I shaped my hands into swords, ready to cut it and him in half; then, he threw the spear over my shoulder, and Gin leapt off one pauldron like a trampoline, before flipping to grasp the shaft and swing the spear down at the back of my head. Krieg threw another round at me, and I slapped it aside, expecting more toxic gas, only for shuriken to fill the air. Krieg fired his flamethrower again, and the flaming projectiles rattled on my armour like hailstones on a metal roof. Krieg dashed through the flames, both arms raised, and brough his fists down the moment Gin tried to pierce my brain.

Their combined attack broke the ship in half under our feet. Placing a foot on the butt of the spear, Gin kicked it back at Krieg, using the same movement to leap away and shoot me again. Krieg caught his spear in one smooth motion, stabbing at my chest while covering himself with a spiked cloak.

I let the tip clang off my chest, then willed the strange matter to flow around it, trapping the spear in place. Krieg tried to dislodge it, to open fire on me at point blank range, but didn't have time: my sword sent his head flying off his shoulders and out of sight.

As the giant's body fell to its knees, blood shooting out of the stump like a geyser, I saw Gin land on his feet, looking sad, but resigned. Had he made peace with his death?

'I respected him, you know,' he jerked his head towards Krieg's corpse. 'Almost as much as I wanted to get away from him. Always pulled underhanded shit like this...raising white flags, pressganging lonely or weak pirates.'

'Was that how you joined his crew? Why'd you stay?'

'Fear,' Gin shrugged, smirking bitterly. 'Same as the rest of 'em...well, except maybe Pearl. I think he actually liked Krieg. He had this certain...charisma about him, I guess. Made you believe you could accomplish anything, as long as he was at the helm. He told us we'd conquer the Grand Line...'course, that was before that freak of nature slaughtered everyone except the guys you did...' The pirate laughed sardonically, shoulders shaking. 'Gonna kill me now, too?'

'Maybe not,' I replied. 'I needed a local guide, anyway. Wanna stay alive?'

'Never been dumb enough to say no.'

***

'I saw you make a sword,' the unblinking, hawk-eyed swordsman stated, a knife in one hand as he walked up to me. He'd stopped his coffin boat next to mine, and Gin had stepped back, mouthing warnings about "him again". So, this was the guy who'd killed Krieg's fleet. 'Do it again.'

I obliged his request, and dashed forward, swinging at his knife, intending to disarm him. Then, the next thing I knew, I was flying through one of the supercontinent's red mountains, bursting out of its peak like a dove out of a cake.

Faster than I could see, the black-coated swordsman left his boat and dashed up the mountain to stand above me. His face was pitiless as he adjusted his feathered hat.

'Get up,' he commanded, mouth twitching under his moustache. 'I'm trying to kill time.'