"Manuel, you are the disgrace of this family! Don't even think about showing that disgusting face of yours in front of us again!"

When I was 18, I was kicked out of the house where I grew up with the people I once called mom and dad.

Ah, that's right, this is how I am. I am is just a weak man who doesn't have a single flashy talent and always regarded as a nuisance wherever I go.

There was once a time when I thought that talent had nothing to do with whether or not you succeeded in life and as long as you put in the effort, then one day you will also get the worth reward.

I think it's not just me out there who ever believed those words and started trying hard like the fools out there, and I'm sure that most of those people are just people who will regret their stupid choices.

From the beginning, what did they expect? What do they want? What is their goal in trying that hard? In the end, they will all begin to question it to themselves and discover that it is nothing but just wasting time.

Is it wrong to try to get what you want?

No, no, that's not what I meant. What I want to say is that the world is not that generous. Even if you try, it doesn't mean that you will get the reward you deserve.

Or rather, have you even looked around you and asked yourself what you've actually lived your life up to this point for? Is it for the sake of your family? Darling? Or other things that you consider valuable?

There are many people out there who have thrown away what we call effort and morals.

However, they can still find happiness for themselves out there.

So, back to the main topic, is 'effort' a useless thing?

No, that's not it, the 'effort' itself is not wrong. You're just a little misunderstanding of how the world works.

You won't get anything if you can only 'try' in this world. Before you start 'trying', you must first understand what you mean by 'trying' itself.

You must know and understand what you will get from the 'effort', as well as about what you will sacrifice in the process.

The process of understanding and considering this is very important in life. If you make even a few mistakes there, then you'll just waste your time with nothing to do – or even worse, you'll probably make a big mistake that will ruin your entire life that you've built since the first day you were born on this world.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

That's right, and I'm one of those people who make those 'small' mistakes.

Now I have lost it all. Neither residence, nor 'family'. At times like this, I truly wish I had someone who could hug me tightly and share the resentment and despair I feel right now.

But unfortunately, I don't have anyone by my side right now.

I only have me, and me only have I. Only a weak human figure has failed to resist life.

"It's really strange, isn't it? At times like this, I smile instead..." I did feel upset and desperate.

However, I don't regret it. I've put in enough effort. I don't feel sad. I didn't feel angry or anything about my failure.

That's rght, I don't regret anything. I must not regret it.

Because if I regret my actions, it is tantamount to stating that even myself has denied all my hard work so far.

Others can say I'm useless or rubbish and whatever they can tell me.

However, I must not go so far as to admit that all my actions so far have been a mistake.

In this world, you only have yourself with you.

Maybe people have said that you have had your family since you were born. However, in the end, you are alone.

The only person you can hope for most is yourself, not anyone else, not even your mom and dad.

I realized this reality a long time ago. And since then, I've done a lot to achieve what others call 'happiness'.

However, have I been wrong from the beginning? Or am I happy now? There was no mistaking me right now smiling, however, why did I feel that something was missing? Did I forget something? I...

... Don't understand.

"... Finally I found you."

Hm?

Before I knew it, I was already in the middle of an empty alley.

Am I perhaps unknowingly walking over here while I'm still deep in thought?

"Ha... Ha... Ha..." However, that in no way explained why I was currently dealing with this girl.

The girl was panting as she was standing 15 meters away with a kitchen knife in her hand.

Even from where I was standing, I could realize that the girl's body was shaking.

With her body shaking, the girl ran towards me.

She pushed the tip of the knife right towards my chest.

Ah... I'd die if this hit me.

"Gh!"

Hurt!

HOT!!

It turns out that this is how it feels to be pierced by a knife, huh... This really feels weird. It's hot, but at the same time it's also very cold. I could actually feel the sensation as this knife tore through my skin and penetrated into my heart.

So... I'm going to die, is it...

Surprisingly, even though I should have been able to avoid her, my body didn't move. I just fell silent and let she stab me.

"Kh...! W-why... W-why don't you avoid it?!"

The girl's hands trembled as she started shouting that at me while shedding tears.

She asked 'why?' didn't she? Haha, this girl has indeed never changed.

Yeah, I knew this girl - or rather, she was the girl I loved. Even now I can still confidently say that she is the girl I love.

We have been dating for more than 3 years. We've also become close enough to have s*x. She was the first to acknowledging all my efforts and teach me what is loving someone and got loved by someone.

But, because of my mistake, I accidentally hurt this girl's heart and now she already belongs to another man.

Well, maybe that's why I don't mind even if I have to be killed by her.

So, please, instead of that sad face full of guilt... Can you at least smile for me?

This is... My last time... You know...

Illust 00 [https://drive.google.com/file/d/1924n53HRqIR4-ndpLk6YCTOlhFBpRWll/view?usp=drivesdk]

00 [https://www.instagram.com/p/CrjwEzUSgqR/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=]

... With the girl crying in my bloodied chest, I closed my eyes.