Mike stepped into the room, placing down his roll of tools and a small Bluetooth speaker for some ambient music.

“Nice work kiddo.” He said proudly as he suddenly drew his HK, looking confused. “He’s not dead.” He noted.

“I know, right. That’s why I got him cuffed and taped to the table. How great is that? Hot on the thermals, check yourself, fresh pedophile, got your tools. You don’t look excited. Why don’t you look excited? I’m excited.” she giggled.

“I really assumed you’d just kill him. I'm proud of your restraint." Said Mike. “I don’t suppose you wanna step out of the room during questioning?” he asked.

“You wanted to see what these things look like on the inside, right? So do I. That’s a live specimen. He beat the shit out of a 13-year-old kid and tried to rape him, you really feel bad about this?” Tanner scoffed. “Oh, I get it. You’ve never interrogated anyone like this before, the messy way, have you?”

“Well, no, actually. I just feel like this is usually a way to get caught…” he said, checking the cuffs and the tape on his ankles as Joe looked worried and struggled. “But you did secure him nicely. I'd prefer you not witness this.”

“Hey, Buzzkillington. I don’t care. I wanna see what’s inside a demon, and the best way to get answers is with Stabby here. Worst case, this is just some regular pedo, not sure I’d call him human exactly. Best scenario, I get to see something WILD I’ve never seen before.” She giggled.

“You know…I guess it doesn’t matter. We ID’s the suspect, he’s 127 on the thermals. Honestly, I’m just a little nervous what I’ll find.”

“Why? Afraid you’re just killing horrendous people instead of actual devils? Is that so damn bad? And if he’s full of sharp teeth and brimstone, then I owe you money and that just proved your theory. I get it. He just looks like a guy, but literal or figurative, he’s a monster, and you don’t show your face to them, you pull a trigger and watch the heat fade. You’re new to the butchering side of things. I’ll do it. I’ll cut him open. Squeamish shit. I thought you were some badass killing machine.”

“Killing is easy, torture and dissection is a little new territory for me. I prefer intimidation, light beating.”

“Okay well then we’ll just walk this rout together, we’re friends, partners, or some shit. I’ll do the weird stuff, you just take notes.” She said, getting out her pocket knife and flipping the blade open.

“No, don’t use that dull piece of shit. I sharpen my own knives, this one’s better.” Mike said, handing Tanner the K-Bar and some black butcher’s gloves.”

“May man with the tools.” Tanner winked, pressing the blade to Joe’s chest and, with little hesitation, making a shallow cut from sternum to navel as Joe screamed through the muffling duct tape. Mike felt slightly uncomfortable as Tanner bobbed her head to the music and puzzled a moment. “Red blood, red meat. Nothing too far from textbook so far.” He shrugged, looking up at the overly focussed priest. “What? How we gonna know anything is inhuman if we don’t know what humans look like on the inside?” she asked.

“Should we maybe ask some questions first and take the tape off his mouth, or do you just get your confessions via Ouija board?” he paused.

“Oh…Ya know, I kinda forgot that part entirely. I don’t normally let them talk during this. My whole thing is just killing them. You read my file, you saw the crime scenes. There are no questions except rhetorical mindfuck ones I ask to be scary, and I’m usually in costume once I got them knocked out and taped up.

“Yea, Murder-Geisha.” He said. "Robe, face paint, wig."

“Aw…how did you know? The only people who get to see my outfits don’t live to report it. Have you been stalking meeee?” she grinned playfully.

“Cleaning evidence, remember? Polyester Kimono fibers you snagged on the tape, traced back to a gift card you bought with your name from Dean’s Party Mania.”

“Look, it’s a low budget thing, it’s about the vibe, not the brand.” she scoffed.

“You’re a serial killing hooker that lures in creeps and your persona is a murdergeisha, a hooker that lures in creeps for murder.”

“There’s a difference.” She scoffed. “I mean, I do also use a knife. But this is scarier. And let us not forget style points. Geisha are classy and cool. My props may all be straight up weeb-shit, but I can’t afford good stuff, what, am I just gonna NOT dress up to kill someone? Like at all? Just look like this every time? My makeup takes time anyway, the extra mile for the fun of it is worth it. Especially for photos.”

“You really shouldn’t take crime scene selfies, even if you keep them on a jump drive and not on the cloud, you could lose that, and it’s all over.”

“Look, Mister Plumber man… You chose me. Or god chose me and told you, or you made that up to justify that you kinda like me, and like I get it. We stalk and kill people, we have a lot in common, maybe you’re a closet weeb with a fetish for a cosplay killer who understands you, it’s fine, we’re adults, we’re not doing anything illegal, except the whole…the dead people stuff. But I have to take the selfies, otherwise nobody sees the work I put into the outfits except the dead guys.”

“Who do you show the selfies to?” he questioned.

“Well obviously nobody, it’s evidence, but I like to look at them myself, and now maybe you could see them and the…well you probably took your own pictures…stalker.” She smirked, rolling her eyes like she was fake embarrassed.

“I didn’t watch the murders. I got to the last 3 crime scenes before the cops did to check your work for quality. And it was lacking some professional details.”

“UH! Rude. But be honest, is the outfit scary?” she asked, flipping through her phone as Joe sat confused and baffled taped to a chair.

“It’s not really my area of expertise.” Mike admitted.

“Well, just picture it. Look at me now, boring normal person blending-in outfit, military knife, broad daylight, whole plan and mystery gone, he knows we’re interrogating him for information on his uncle, there’s no surprise there. Now instead imagine you never saw me coming, and you woke up in a dark room somewhere with red mood lighting and a shadowy figure of an Asian fem fatale, bloody and ghostly like she rose from the grave for vengeance. Now imagine it’s YOU tied to the chair, which you probably have, but this time no sexy nun outfit, just Murdergeisha, and you think you’re gonna die. See how that’s way more scary than just Eeuugh, cut, poke, tell me your uncle’s secrets or we’ll kill you in slow and boring ways, like using a gun and shooting you. It’s a whole mood.” she explained.

“Listen… I wasn’t stalking you, especially for my own enjoyment. I was researching potential apprentices and scouting raw talent. I followed the voice of God. You know the other 3 possible recruits I had?” he asked.

“Chainsaw dommy mom, cowgirl with Uzi’s in her assless chaps, or…please don’t say nun with a lethal injection kink?”

“A 35 year old accountant who keeps his victims preserved in epoxy table tops, an ex military sniper who hunts in a devil costume and draws pentagrams in blood, he ate some of the bodies. Oh, and a nice clean-cut young man maybe 25 who plays minecraft, has 4 dogs, lives with his mother and turned out to believe he is literally the reincarnated Adolph Hitler.” He muttered. Her eye widened and her jaw dropped.

“…fuck. Those were your other options?”

“All completely insane.” He sighed in frustration.

“And all DUDES. What a bummer? Like not one other chick serial killer in the state?” she asked. “Actually, that would make me a rare gem. I don’t know if I kinda like being the only rare holographic pokemon in the store…or if I hate that men are dominating the industry. Can I be both proud AND pissed off at the skewed ratio?”

“You’re missing the point, but no. You’re the only one. The other one got arrested. She was terrible at killing people. Complete forensic shitstorm. The point I was making is that it’s hard to find another serial killer that’s not just…insane.” he sighed with annoyance as Joe thrashed.

“Right!?” Like have a shtick, or a gimmick or something, but they all just kill random people, like do some good with it. Kill the worst people that deserve it like the guys we hunt…or maybe Hitler guy, can we go back to kill the Hitler guy?”

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“I shot him in the head with a German Luger round I stole from a museum owned by a guy named Levi Goldberg.”

“Hehe…” she laugh goofishly “That’s funny. What about epoxy table guy?”

“I thought about it. He was really meticulous about the crime scenes, only killed parents that murdered their kids, but then I broke into his house and found the basement with the tables, and it was just…weird. Like slabs of bad taxidermy, over 12 tables, you know he would just be constantly wanting to hang out in the table room and I just can’t see getting used to that.”

“Gross. He’d always be polishing the tables and borrowing your woodworking tools, I get it. So are you saying I’m just the least problematic partner out of the bad options God presented and the fact that you find me attractive has nothing to do with this at all?” she said disappointed and a little hurt.

“Not even a consideration, and I still refuse to comment on your attractiveness or lack of it, because it’s not work appropriate and work comes before recreation.”

“Work comes instead of you….got it. Vow of celibacy.” she nodded.

“I never said that, either. You are assuming a lot of things. Do you remember we have a guy taped to a chair?”

“I know… I’m not stupid. I just never see you open up, and I thought there was a moment of opportunity for some personal growth there.” She said pouting. “Go ahead, ask him your questions, I’ll wait. You need a drink, old man?” Tanner asked, waving a flask.

“I don’t drink anymore. Just clouds my mind and faith.”

“Suit yourself," tanner said, taking a swig and pocketing the flask as she ripped off the mouth-gag tape, Joe struggling harder.

“Your Uncle…what is he hiding?” asked Mike.

“Fuck you, priest.” Joe spat.

“How about now?” he asked, placing Rachel's silencer to his head and cocking the hammer.

“You’re gonna kill me anyway, why say anything?” Joe shrugged.

“We’re not gonna kill you if you cooperate, just if you resist.” Mike said darkly.

“NO, No. no.” Tanner said moving the gun. “This is what I mean. You’re good at killing, but you’re not scary enough to torture. He doesn’t believe you. He saw our faces, he knows our names, he knows we’re gonna kill him, Mike, he’s got no incentive without the fear aspect. Here…this isn’t a precision sniper shot from 2 miles away, this is an artform.” She said, pushing the knife into his leg as he screamed and struggled. “Now you see pain is scary, you gotta remind them that we can kill them quickly and painlessly or really slow and weird. Gun to the head is the best case he’s gonna get, he’s not afraid of that. He’s afraid we’re gonna peel the skin off his face or something. Maybe we’ll dismember him limb by limb, you know an undead geisha vibe in the right lighting really sells the fear, Look, he’s way more scared of a 140 pound girl with a knife than a big hitman with a gun, and all I did was stab his leg a little. That’s not even top 10 sensitive spots. We got eyelids, the butthole, we could put a bunch of hornets in a gas mask, he doesn’t know, when you’re a psycho chick in full costume, he wakes up confused and in a chair, and you start cutting before even asking questions, THEN they talk. Right Joe? Where’s the magic button that’s gonna make you rat out your uncle…the pee-hole or the b-hole?”

“OKAY, just…you’re not asking any questions. Can you be specific?” Joe blurted, almost crying.

“Why is the mayor protecting your stupid ass?” She asked.

“Because I find girls for him. He can’t be seen snooping around, he can't be tied to the crimes, so he keeps me safe and out of prison and I look for the ones he would like. He has a type, he is very specific.” Joe huffed.

“Raping them, killing them?” Mike asked.

“Neither. He just keeps them prisoner for a while because I like to degrade and vent. His ex wife took everything, he likes to pretend they are her, and he acts out this weird fantasy where he gets his revenge. I find women that look the part, I bring them to the safehouse, drug them, leave them. He has another guy who takes them after that, I don’t know what he does, but he sure as hell doesn’t let them go. That’s your monster, your killer. Uncle Tim never killed them, I never killed them. They seemed mostly unharmed when he's done. Then they disappear. I’m a delivery driver, he just roleplay’s telling off the bitch who took his kids away and making her feel helpless and defeated, and then they go away. We’re not the monsters doing the killing.”

“Oh so you’re just feeding the monster to stay out of jail because you groped a 7th grader. You’re not that bad then.” Tanner huffed sarcastically. “And your uncle is just enjoying some kinky roleplay with abducted women and then passing them off to a finisher. He’s not that bad either. They guy he pays to murder the women you abduct should be the one we’re really after. Just him. Name, description, what does he drive?”

“I don’t know his name, he never says anything, I don’t get to see his home or his driver's license, I just see a guy in a hoodie with blue gloves, a revolver, wears glasses, There's always some blonde in the car waiting. He nods and they go away. That’s all I know. Uncle Tim just pays me cash and says to find a new one. The sooner I get one, and the more she looks like his ex-wife, the happier he is, the more money I get, and the more he leaves me alone. I’m the bottom tier of a 3 tier operation. I pull a gun and say: get in the van, and if you say anything, I shoot you and your family, and they just do it. They never even struggle. I park the van, I get my money, pat on the shoulder and “good work, kid” and I drive home and forget about it, till he calls me again.” Joe finished, waiting for a response.

“…Nah, he’s got more. You got like any rib spreaders or bone saws?” She asked Mike as he blankly stared.

“No! I have plumbing tools and some basic survival supplies, I’m not a surgeon, I’m a hitman.” He said, “Then again I do have pipe cutters, the kind you have to twist tighter and keep spinning around the pipe over and over until gradually it cuts the pipes off... or the finger. That gives you 10 tries.” He shrugged at Tanner.

“11 if you really wanna get creative.” She winked.

“I told you everything!” Joe wailed, “What more do you want!?”

“Just one more thing. The location. Tanner, get a pencil, he’s gonna write down the address where they take the girls. If you do, you die quick and with all your digits. You’re gonna die regardless, Joe. But you can die right now, no pain, or in a few hours, with all the pain SHE can inflict.”

“Don’t let her torture me.” Joe begged.

“That’s not my problem. I’m not doing you a favor, I’m doing us a favor. I personally think you deserve to die however she wants to do it, and she wants to do it messy and slow. BUT, I am a man of my word and if it gets us closer to stopping more girls being taken and killed, I accept letting you have the gift of a quicker death. It’s not pity, just business.” He said as Joe frantically jotted down the address and was relieved to see Mike prepping a syringe of something.

“We really gonna go easy on him?” Tanner asked.

“This is about information, not revenge. We have the information, Now I want the last question answered without him screaming in agony and fighting me the whole time.” He said giving him the shot and watching him fade. “He’s out like a light but still alive. Now, let’s see what a monster looks like on the inside while it’s still a monster.” He said as Tanner exhaled and smiled.

“Fucking finally.” She said making the incision. “Still looks human so far.” She said, reaching in as she sawed at whatever organ she was tethered by, pulling out something meaty. With a little yank she retrieved her prize, going silent, a few twitches later he was dead.

“Oh now that’s interesting.” Mike said, as she held the heart in her gloved hand, charcoal black and still pumping. “What…in the depths of hell?” muttered Mike, stepping closer as the colorless organ pulsed like something trying to escape a shiny leather bag that had been freshly oiled to a sheen. The heart slowed and stopped, slowly taking on a slight red hue and gradually going dead and pinkish red with a haunting but faint scream.

“I don’t understand.” She said, looking at Mike.

“We did both see that, right? We did both see a jet black heart turn back to human red as it died, right?” he asked.

“We sure did.” She nodded solemnly.

“That proves 2 things. One, I was right, and you owe me 20 bucks. Secondly, they do turn human after they die, like I suspected…so the bodies I’m leaving behind aren’t being rushed to some secret lab for cover-storage and research, They’re just going to look human by the time anyone finds them.” He sighed, almost disappointed.

“Which is worse…?” Tanner asked. Making 2 more cuts and seeing only human flesh. “That nobody believes you, and thinks you’re just killing people, except you're RIGHT!...or finding out there’s a huge demon cover-up operation and all the police are just hiding dead monsters and all one giant conspiracy? Isn’t this better that they turn back...human?”

“That’s a good point. We’d get the damn electric chair regardless, I’ll take monsters that turn human and ignorant cops just doing their jobs, over a fucking full corrupt police department in on it, not saying a word and belonging to some cult that knows they exist.” Mike sighed with relief.

“Man, this is good news!” Tanner grinned. “The BEST news. They’re not human, but they leave behind a human corpse. That’s great! The cops are just dumb, not plotting against you. Cops don’t know shit. What was that, 5 seconds? Nobody is cracking one open 5 seconds after you shot them, so nobody knows anything unless you left survivors…you don’t, right?” she asked.

“Absolutely not. Confirm the target with thermal, confirm the kill with thermal and in most cases physical exam to check for pulse. The only survivors are lukewarm human collateral.”

“Oh come on, this is fun. We’re literally VanHelsing-ing together! You think I doubt you now? We’re basically bonded now. This got so real for us. How have you never dissected one like this before in like…20 kills?” she asked.

“Over 77 kills. I almost said 78, but you killed this one. Tanner, this was disturbing at first, but I’m glad we did this.”

"Disturbing...really? YOU, disturbed?"

"The disturbing part is that I'm tempted to do this for fun. Temptation gets you caught and takes over. With a partner, there's someone watching your back." he smiled.

“It’s like bonding, right? Someone with similar interest you can really be yourself with. Someone who doesn’t think you're crazy. I mean we’re both obviously a little loony toonz and fucking weird, but not…like too far gone, ya know? Like, on the same level?” she flirted.

“Tanner, if I’m being honest, I have always had a little hint of doubt in my work.”

“Nooooo.” She pleaded. “Never doubt your art! This is your calling, Damnit.”

“We just confirmed that these aren’t even people anymore. Thermals are one thing, but you always have doubts, faith is an uphill battle, kid. That’s not faith, that’s absolute proof. We should have recorded it.”

“Just hang onto evidence, in case we get caught and need to prove that the 77 people you killed were not people. Because that’s gonna hold up in court and get us off with a slap on the wrist? After raggin on me for victim selfies? Really?” she scolded.

“You’re absolutely right, kid.” He coughed, covering his mouth.

“Smell getting to you?” Tanner asked.

“Maybe. Or the smoking is getting to me. This is why you shouldn’t smoke. Stick to edibles and consider laying off the booze.” He coughed.

“You kidding, I’m just getting started. We’re celebrating, it’s party time, preacher.” She grinned. “And you need a persona. Costume, calling card, props.”

“No.”

“Okay fine but consider this, Murdergeisha…Sniper Samurai. Just saying it aloud.” She whispered. "I'll take that look as a second no."