Bart led the trio forwards through the woods. Every few minutes he’d perk up, point towards a tree, or a rock formation and explain a bit of the importance behind them. Epim found this very interesting, Prose did not care, and the Shade nodded its head each time Bart spoke.
According to Bart the travel to his people would take about a day’s time including rest, assuming there were no obstructions in their way. There tended to be none, he said. Apart from the mercenaries, the woods were not a place of much activity.
Of course, generally speaking, when one assumes that the world will work one way, it generally works the other. A harsh rain began to come down, impeding their travels.
“Ah!” Bart yelled as he felt the drips from the sky. “We need to-” In an instant, they found that the Shade had unfurled each of its side arms. Its eyes squinted as it stared at the countless projectiles raining from the sky. Its fists curled, and it took a posture of aggression towards the sky.
Prose placed a hand on his head, slightly disappointed by the things's simplicity. He turned to Epim, hoping he could calm the beast down, and he noticed that Epim had readied his scythe, looking to the sky as well.
Bart looked to Prose, the beady eyes squinting in disbelief. “Yes, they do believe the rain is an enemy.” He explains, quite disappointed.
After a rudimentary explanation of why water would fall from the sky, Epim happily dispelled his weapon. The Shade still looked concerned, but it too returned to a neutral stance. “I’ll take care of the accommodations, for the night.
Tree’s whipped through the air, carving themselves and planting themselves in the ground in all kinds of angles as a result of Prose’s telekinetic force.
A rudimentary lean to was formed, and the group sat in it side by side. They watched the rain together, and passed time simply. Prose fell asleep quite easily, and the Shade’s eyes went dim. Epim stayed up, and so did Bart.
Bart looked to Epim, examining the cloak and the jewelry he wore. “Sir, is it really true that your memories are gone? You seem so well put together, and you speak well. It’s odd how accustomed to some things you are, and how… reactive you are to others.” He did not want to insult him, but the situation with the rain was truly puzzling.
Epim smiled meagerly, and stared out at each of the dazzling drops that hit the ground. It was only a day, and already he had so many things he had seen.
“They are. It’s odd to me as well. Although I understand myself, everything around us is equally frightening as it is awe inspiring.”
He tugs on his cloak, and rubs his ring. “And even the things that bring me comfort, I have no explanation for. I don’t know where the fur from my cloak came from, or why one arm is a different color. I don’t know why my ring is the way it is, and I don’t even know why I have a knife at my side.”
Placing his palms against the ground, Epim leans back.
“It’s quite different from you isn’t it? You seem to understand the story of each and every thing around here. Even my companions… I only understand that they’re important to me. But I can’t explain that feeling.”
Bart chuckles. “But isn’t that nice? You have a feeling, do you need an explanation for it? Understanding that you're connected to others, that’s something many people have a hard time with, and yet you feel it without the need for anything else. For me, I really don’t know too much. I can only explain my home, but beyond its borders I’m just as ignorant as you. And when it comes to my connection with my people… I can only believe in it because that’s what I was taught.”
Epim turns his head, staring at the sleeping fairy and the Shade. “But that’s not true at all, Bart. You understand the rain , and I’m sure wherever you go it’d be the same. You’d be able to see the world and understand it. For me, I don’t think that’s the case. Because I only know myself, I’ll never be like that.”
Epim sighs. “I’m just like the drops of the rain. Maybe I seem like I'm in motion like everything else, but really I’m just being carried along with all the others. If it were me alone, without Prose or the Shade, I’m quite sure we would never have met. I would have sat at the pond, with no reason to move or to think.”
“But it was you who asked for my name, sir. Before the mercenaries who looked as you do, and before Prose who was right along with you after I finished my meal. Do you think that too, was the result of motion?” Melancholy, something inevitable to even the happiest. Bart was feeling it in full, and Epim too, of course.
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“That’s…” Epim eyes droop slightly, the sadness overcoming him. “It’s only because I’d want the same from you. I’d want you to look at me, it’s that simple. It can’t be something as simple as kindness. I don’t think I’m capable of that.” The image of his enemy's head flashed through his mind.
“And why not, sir?” Bart was curious, he couldn’t understand his savior's feelings. “Do you believe it is wrong to want from others?”
Epim pulled his knees closer to his chest. “Well of course it’s wrong. I’m projecting my own want for life onto you. I want you to feel what I feel, so I can understand you. I’m forcing my own empathy onto you, so that my understanding of the world is more complete.
Bart crooked his head, the whiskers on his face twitching with the wind. “Then did I not do the same? I gave meaning to the rock’s, and the trees which exist without my say. And you listened to it quite intently. Can’t that be said to be the same as what you did? I’ve forced my perspective onto you, I’ve made you see the world as I have known it.”
“No, that’s-”
Bart continues, cutting Epim’s response off.
“Sir, if I may, I think you’ve misunderstood yourself. If I were to not give you my name, what would you have done? Would you have killed me? Left without a thought?”
“No, of course not. I would…” Epim didn’t know what he’d do, he’d never thought of it.
“You would have wondered why, wouldn’t you?”
Epim nods at this, understanding the logic.
“And then, would you have given up, would you have refused to ever learn my name on principle of my refusal?”
Bart looks to Epim now, his eyes shining with the reflection of the raindrops.
“I’d like to know still. Because if I didn’t know I’d-” Epim’s eyes opened wider now, and his mouth hung open for a moment. “I don’t know… I don’t know what I’d feel.”
Bart lowered his head. “Well then you can’t say that you wouldn’t change because of the world, sir. You can’t say that you understand yourself. You haven’t seen it, the possibility. While it may seem to you that my observations are true and that my beliefs are respectable, you have yet to taste the thought of skepticism. You’re unquestioning because you want to learn, because you want to understand.”
Epim couldn’t fully follow, but Bart continued.
“My people, to the world outside we are blood suckers. And you’ve seen it, it’s true is it not? So I am a blood sucker, by right of their observation.”
Epim shook his head. “But you’re Bart, not some beast.”
Bart nodded. “And you are Epim, not a soulless observer, not a drop of rain. There is no harm in taking yourself as you are, and understanding the world through that lens. Do not feel guilty because you want from others, friend.” Friend, that word struck a resonance in Epim’s heart.
“Project your belief, and let it bounce back against whatever you please. It may be challenged, it may be dissected. Maybe one day, you’ll question why you have it at all. But Epim, that is your right as one who lives. Don’t punish yourself because you want it from others.”
“But… what if when I am rejected I refuse. What if I need the response, what if I need to know. If that’s the case then…”
“Can you not search for others? Must you have an answer from everyone you come across? Do you truly believe that to be the case? Did you ask the mercenary his name?”
Epim did not, and this left him silent.
“I do not wish to cause you distress. I don’t want you to feel as if you’re lost. You, Epim, have no reason to feel that way. You listen to the words of others, you travel with companions for the sake of traveling. You speak, for the sake of speech. Only because you believe you understand yourself, do you feel so conflicted.”
The rain does not let up, it pours down relentlessly.
“Epim, don’t take the world as it is now as fact. There is no such thing. You will change, because you’ve accepted feeling into your heart. You’ve already opened it to all kinds of things, don’t worry that you don’t have a name for them all. Naturally, they will open themselves to you. Naturally, you will find yourself accepting them. And of course, you will find yourself rejecting those feelings that comprise you.”
Bart leans himself against the wall of the lean-to, the exhaustion of the day beginning to overtake his body. “The truth is, there is no answer waiting for you at the end. It’s something you need to build, forever. Construct yourself, and your view of the world step by step. Let yourself be submerged in the process. I believe, my friend, that you will find that in that process you will understand much more about yourself than you ever could, when you were wantonly searching for the truth.”
Bart began to close his eyes. “And if it ever is too much to bear, rest as we do now. Let the world accompany you in the silence of yourself, and when you wake you will see that although nothing has changed, you very well might have.” Bart falls into sleep, and Epim is left to stare at the rain alone.
A myriad of thoughts run through his head, some he understands, some he does not. But as he looks out at the rain, he realizes that he had already made a mistake, on his first day alive. He had claimed that the rain was simply carried by momentum, but looking closer, he knew that each plummeted towards the ground with its own pride.
Sleep too, took hold of him.