“How did it go with Ms. Hunter,” Bob asked with a laugh.
“I don’t know if she was purposefully trying to get my goat or if she is as truly clueless as she seemed today.”
“Oh, it’s clueless. She is a very nice person, but completely useless in the classroom. I’ve been getting complaints from students for years. She has no motivation and not much knowledge of some of the subjects she teaches. She’s a little better in Business English and Typing, but still lacks motivation. She’s going to be your greatest challenge.”
“Well, I’m seeing her at 4:00 p.m., so I’ve got to get back not later than 3:30 p.m. as I have to write up her evaluation and I’ll be damned if I know how to begin. If she does not shape up, I’ll have to fire her. I can’t subject the students to what I saw today and live with myself.”
They walked to the elevator and then walked to the nearest establishment that served both sandwiches and wine and beer just a block away. Bob ordered corned beef on rye with a Budweiser and Dan an Italian sub and chips with a glass of Malbec. As they ate, Bob asked “So, tell me about today’s meeting. I hear you got the lab?”
“Yeah,” Dan said. I’m happy about that. Marvin sent out the SED filing this morning, so I hope we can get some good news about that soon. The total cost for the computer swap will be $400 and I got the vendor to give us a three-day parts and labor warranty and a year parts warranty, with immediate shipment of replacement parts if anything fails. I’ll burn them in—leave them on with a batch file to do an endless loop of directory searches on both disk drives continuously for 48 hours and if nothing breaks, it’s unlikely to for years.”
“I hear Upinder took credit for that and for negotiating what you had already previously negotiated.”
“I know, but I don’t care. I just want the lab. He can have the credit” Dan said
“Well, Marvin told me he already spoke to Benjamin and told him he was amazed at your negotiating skills. He told me you didn’t want him to say anything, and he did not specifically contradict what he heard Upinder telling them on the phone, just innocently sang your praises and let him make up his own mind who should get the credit. He already knew about the zero-cost swap you had negotiated, so even if the Melameds believe Upinder about the DOS and three-day warranty nonsense, it will make him seem at best petty. At this point you’re lucky the Melameds don’t have a daughter, or they’d be plotting how to get you to marry her,” Bob gave his signature chortle, and took a sip of beer and a large bite of his sandwich. “Marvin was so happy after the vendor left that for a minute, I thought he had brought his bong to the office. I’ve never seen him so excited,” he added, while still chewing.
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“I’d hate to disappoint him if the program falls through,” Dan said, taking a sip of his wine. “I know the Melameds would be furious, but, frankly I’m not concerned about that. All I had them invest was a lousy $400 for the 20 DOS disks. Hell, I was thinking before that I’ll pay them back for that if the deal falls through. And if they’re still unhappy they won’t have to fire me—I’ll quit.”
“They won’t fire you. They’ve seen what you can do. They’d be pissed because they’re already counting the money they can make on your rolling enrollment idea, and I guarantee you if it flies, they’ll port it to all of their branches immediately. They may be greedy and maybe just a touch seedy, but they’re anything but stupid. They’ll want to know what your next great idea is even if this one fails. Or, rather, they’ll make you rework it into something similar—you know, same crap, different smell—and repackage it for SED in six months. Anything with computers is hot right now, so they’ll just have you keep plugging away as long as there’s a chance you can come up with something similar.”
“How about Computerized Brothel Management. They can start a new school in Las Vegas,” Dan laughed out loud as he said it, and Bob nearly choked on the beer he was swallowing.
“Hey, that’s a marvelous idea. Just don’t tell Upinder or he’ll tell them you stole it from him. But the hell with Vegas. Times Square, baby. I can see the neon signs now: Computerized Whorehouse Management Program. It’s got a catchy ring to it—more down to earth. Plus, prospective students wouldn’t know what a brothel is. You gotta keep it real.”
“Too bad its illegal in New York, Dan replied, still laughing”
“Who cares? It’s not like they’re going to get a job anyway, is it? It’s illegal to be a whore, not to train to manage a whorehouse. We can say it’s a training program for work-abroad opportunities. I bet it would be a big hit. Nothing prohibits us from training people to run a brothel abroad, does it? Come on, I thought you were a lawyer,” Bob offered with a perfectly straight face.
“I guess we could try.” Dan said, “But let’s hope we won’t have to, all right?” He tried to keep a deadpan face as he said it but failed and started to laugh again.
“Hey, I’m just looking out for you. Can’t lose my lunch buddy. No way. I’ll go talk to Jack about marketing the program, just as a plan B. He probably has some experience on the subject in his staff.” Bob chortled again, spittle flying from his mouth while Dan smiled and shook his head. Lunch done, the two men walked back to the office with Bob, now inspired, making all sorts of off the wall suggestions for programs Dan might develop as the two walked back. Dan mostly smiled and shook his head at such suggestions as “Computerized Personal Delousing Assistant, Computerized Burger Flipping Specialist, Computerized Rectal Thermometer Insertion Manager, Computerized Hairball Removal Expert,” and on, and on, and on all the way back to the office.