The last breezes of Spring blow past me. Sitting by the stairs alone, the sounds of club activities and laughter should overwhelm my surroundings—but it is unexpectedly quiet.

So, I look around.

The Football Club—running drills on the field, with shouts of encouragement filling the air. I would say I am somewhat into football, but my physical conditions restrain me. The Culinary Club—faint scent of something sweet. I wish I could actually cook, I would only be a joke to the members if I joined.

It doesn’t matter where I look, it’s always the same. It’s a reminder that I don’t belong anywhere.

"I need to join a club."

I know I sound pathetic, but this is how it is. I don’t plan to keep lying to my mom. I am tired of making excuses, pretending that I am doing fine. But as I sit here, hesitation keeps me in place. Everyone else has already moved on with their lives—I feel like the only one stuck in place, stuck in time.

The departure of Spring, and with the arrival of Summer…I remain what I am.

"I should go home."

I just can't change anything, anyways.

I’ve never been good with eye contact. What’s worse is when there’s nowhere else to look except for my own feet.

And right now, it seems like a lot of people are staring.

The air is getting warmer. Not from the sun, no. A silhouette of a person that passes by, what warmth could that possibly give? Exempt to the rules of normality, only she has the ability to...

It's no wonder everyone's gaze turned towards my direction. No, no, not to me. It can't be. The people that remained, all of them I would assume, were looking at her—Hayasaka Harumi, the School Diva, one of them, at least.

"Hey, hey, let's go to karaoke later!"

"I thought we just went there yesterday?"

"There's no way that ANYONE gets bored of karaoke, right? RIGHT?"

Her social circle is as lively as always. It’s as if the serene school compound suddenly has this false sense of being crowded with people, when most of them have left.

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

I wonder what someone of that caliber feels on a daily basis. Proud of themselves? Or do they greed for more? It’s a world I’ll never get to know.

"Hey, you."

A sudden displacement of graceful warmth towards me. ME??

At least it looked like she was looking at me, and said something...? Is this a dream? I can’t believe my eyes. The soft light brushing over her dark blonde hair, creating this near divine scene of meeting a goddess. Just her presence alone, somewhat removed a part of my daily melancholy.

"You don't look too good... Uhh, here-"

She reached for something—A popsicle?

"A popsicle! This will make you feel better, right?"

Her voice, greater than my entire existence. I can't turn down her attempt to... help me, can I?

"Uhm, thanks."

I was left wondering...Just how could she tell? Was everything that obvious? I definitely had a taste of the popsicle without any refrain. I had to. This is a one in a billion event, after all. Just like that, she left, leaving traces of angelic aura...I know I really shouldn't put her on a pedestal like that. But damn, I can really feel the cold stares of many after that...

"Gosh, why were you talking to that guy?" I could sense the disgust stemming from her words.

Even with the unpleasant comment made by one of her friends, Harumi only brushes it off with a soft laugh, but...in a good way. So... she really meant it?

"Could it be that..."

My inner thoughts flood my mind.

Would things ever change?

Just when I thought about that, I found an interesting poster laying on the ground.

A club with only 3 members, in desperate need of 2 more to register as an official club…?

I am coincidentally reminded of a horrible experience 3 years ago. What may be called by some to be first love—But to me, it’s the end of love and the start of my misery.

“I guess I can try again, someday.”

On the way home, it’s clear to me. I see the last petals of spring take a dive from above, reminding me of how Summer really arrived.

I look towards the direction of home, contemplating.

“Why am I still alive?”

“What do I live for?”

“Do I still hope for anything at all?”

The answer to all of that, is no. I have no answers.

Each step I take feels heavier than the last.

“Have I ever felt alive?”

Before I realized, I had reached my home.