An undulating single entity, its surface a myriad slivers of a million colours, forming and disappearing in chaotic serenity. Silent aside from droplets hewn from the peaks by roaming gusts as they splash back to once again become lost in the greater whole. A cry breaks through the silence, a sharp interruption, life announcing its presence to the cold wilderness. There is life out in these wilds, it screams, only for a second before the wind carries away the proof of its existence. A dappled canvas of burning warmth ripples, one hundred thousand leaves like a wave on the ocean, a mountain valley glitters in the sun shining through the parting veil of grey.
I am sorry, brother.
Tomas stood on a lakeshore, staring out over the whitecaps forming in the wind and the orange waves flickering through the distant canopy across the water. Not in Lukan, but to the north. It was a smaller lake, desolate and cold in the late cycle wind. The stone shore was cold on his feet. He heard movement behind him and his body turned of its own accord. Before him stood a young woman, no older than sixteen cycles, and she was beautiful.
“No.” It was almost a whisper, turned into a plea, “Please.”
The reverberations of the twinsoul replied, “What has begun, cannot be stopped. What has been done, cannot be undone. Now we witness.”
Tomas felt his mouth open and he spoke, “Mi’xu, it is good to see you. How was the casting?”
It was as if the whole world quieted when she spoke, “It was peaceful, the winds carried her away to rest amongst the wind, earth and water. You would have been welcome to join me and my father, especially given you performed the conflagration.”
“No, I think it is best for castings to be reserved for family. A final moment together before peace. Although I do appreciate the invitation. Thank you.”
“Well, you are nearly family.” She smiled, her eyes glittering, as if in defiance of the low clouds dimming the light. Internally, Tomas winced, but he felt his younger self smile back. “Come. Dinner's nearly ready.” She turned and began to walk away from the lakeshore, towards the small hut on the forest edge.
I am sorry.
Tomas could feel pain and anger welling in his brother, but no response came.
He felt his feet begin to move, following her down the small path, a plume of smoke wafting gently from the central peak of the round hut. As he ducked into the hut his eyes scanned the round single room as his eyes adjusted. Mi’xu had taken a seat on a small stool next to the fire, stirring a pot.
“Where is your father?” Tomas heard himself ask.
“He has returned to the north, to carry word of my mother’s passing to his kin. I do not know when he will return, if at all. With my mother gone and myself betrothed, there will be nothing for him here within a cycle. He only moved here for her.” Mi’xu spoke absent-mindedly, her eyes locked on the broth she was gently stirring. As he found a stool for himself, she began sprinkling salt into the pot, Tomas began drifting back into himself, the warmth of brother’s anger heating his very soul and mind.
Please. Stop.
No answer came.
They sat in silence as they ate the tanajim she had been cooking, Tomas felt the taste coat his soul with reassurance as surely as it coated his mouth with the earthen flavours. Just like his mother used to make. Once they had eaten, they talked. It was a lively conversation to start, but as the hours passed and the fire shrank to coals it became more quiet, more intimate, as if they were drawing energy from the flames and coals themselves. They spoke about Mi’xu’s mother, about Tomas’ mother, about both their futures, their fears, dreams, desires, and then it happened. Their faces drawn close, Mi’xu was looking down at the coals.
“--and then I would like to travel to Katal, I think. See the grand gardens of the palace and all their flowers.”
Enough! Isn’t this enough?
Tomas screamed and fought his body, but he could not stop his hand as it reached up to gently caress her cheek and chin as she turned back to face him. He could feel the burgeoning anger from his brother now flaring with a heat that stung his mind as he pulled her face towards his and locked his lips over hers. The passion and perhaps the grief overtook them both and in moments they were standing, gently caressing each other as he slipped her tunic from her shoulders and she slid her hands up under his, across his chest. The heat against his mind was burning now as they lay down on the bedding next to the fire, bodies bare against another, the warmth of her chin caressing his shoulder as they entwined. Tomas could feel the pleasure creep through his body and as it rose he knew his brother was enduring this too. Suddenly the heat that had been searing his mind exploded.
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He heard choral voices cry out and Tomas was torn away from the memory. Blasting back through a white void and then a black one, then white again, black again, white, black, white, black, flashing faster and faster until they were grey and then with a gasp he awoke.
He was lying on the floor of the hide, face pressed against the dirt. As he glanced up Tomas realised the room of the hut was gone, the remainder of the ber'la bark walls flickering with fire. Before him stood Ki’nam, engulfed in flame. Fire flowed from his outstretched arms and burst forth from his mouth and eyes like rays of Ahua’s light. Ki’nam was screaming. A bestial roar which quieted as Tomas scrambled to his knees, grasping his totem and trying to spark an ember, but nothing came. The gouts of flame from Ki’nam’s face subsided and the streams flowing from his outstretched arms slowed to a flicker in his palms. His gaze lowered to meet Tomas’ eyes and it was one of pure fury.
“How could you take her from me? I loved her!” Ki’nam screamed. The colour drained from his face, his shoulders sagged and he whispered, “I loved her.”
His voice hoarse, Ki’nam continued, “I trusted you to take care of her when I could not. When she needed you, no, when we all needed you. And you betrayed me!” He paused, then, “I never truly knew why she broke off the betrothal, you know? I had some ideas. I thought perhaps it was the death of her mother, the departure of her father, I even thought maybe I had done something to spurn her. But this? I admit, the thought crossed my mind once or twice, but never, never did I truly think that even you could possibly stoop so low.”
Tomas said nothing, still trying to coax a flame from his fingers. Nothing. His K’aakh was gone. Kneeling in front of his brother, still reeling from the raw emotion that had exploded through him and jerked him awake, tears began to stream from his eyes. He stared up at his brother and through the tears, he could see the pain he had wrought upon his brother’s soul. Tomas opened his mouth to speak a defence, but it caught in his throat and he quickly snapped it shut again. What can I say? I took all that he ever loved in this world and it didn’t even mean a thing to me.
Ki’nam crouched down before him, grasping him by the hair on the side of head and moved in, so close that Tomas could see the pores on his nose, spittle atop the dried and split lips as Ki’nam’s they pulled away, warping into a feral grin.
“I should kill you right now.”
The whisper chilled Tomas to the core, even as Ki’nam brought his left hand forward, a flickering ember growing into a ball of flame in his palm.
Tomas glanced at the fire, inches from his face and Ki’nam violently yanked his head. “Look at me.” Although Ki’nam’s voice was still barely a whisper, Tomas could hear the charge in his voice. He did not look away from the fire. “Look at me.” Again, louder now, and firmly assertive. Tomas tore his eyes from the flame and into the bloodshot eyes of his brother, who spoke to him through gritted teeth, the feral smile now a pained grimace, “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t lance your eyes out right now. Just one, and maybe I’ll consider it.”
Tomas stared into the wild gaze for a while, then he whispered a response, “Do it.”
A flicker of disbelief flashed across Ki’nam’s twisted visage, only for a moment. Had he not been staring into his brother’s eyes from inches away, Tomas would have missed it.
“What did you say?” Ki’nam demanded, voice raised.
“Do it. Kill me. You know I deserve it. I know I deserve it. Ahua knows I deserve it. Do it. End it.” Tomas stared up at his brother, glowering over him, flames flickering all around. Ki’nam’s eyes flickered again, then, blinking once, he released Tomas’ head which lolled downward. Tomas felt tears again welling in his eyes as he stared at Ki’nam’s feet, slowly staggering away. Tomas’ fingers gripped his thighs so tight he could no longer feel them, and his nails dug through thin linen cloth, drawing blood.
Tomas threw his head back and screamed a guttural broken wail, “Do it!”
Then, a plea, “Kill me.”
Sobbing.
Finally, a whisper, “End it. Please.”
“No.”
Tomas blinked through wet eyes at the figure before him. The glow was beginning to fade, and as he wiped away his tears he saw the expression Ki’nam wore, as if grief itself had been carved from stone. But deeper still, as he stared into eyes that had been wild with fury moments earlier, he saw not only sorrow, but regret and despair.
“I can’t. Even after all that, I can’t. My transgressions may not have angered you as much, or cut you as deep, but I know that they did hurt you. Not just now upon their revelation, but in all the ways your life could have been great, had you been to the Great Library, had our father trusted you. And as just as that is true, perhaps my life would have been different had you and Mi’xu--” he paused, swallowing, “I still would have married her, had I known, had she been able to forgive herself.”
“I am sorry, for what little that is worth.”
“I know, and I’m sorry too.”
At that instant a warm gentle glow suffused across both their bodies, tendrils of light quickly spreading from the tips of their fingers and toes towards their chests. As it reached their chests the glowing streams reached out and entwined coalescing into the form of two young boys, about a foot tall holding hands. The boys rotated, smiling at both Ki’nam and Tomas, then spinning faster and faster until the form became a glowing orb, which shattered into a myriad of shining specks, each slowly drifting towards one of the brothers and then vanishing with a slight ripple of light as it touched their skin.
“Reconciliation. An end, and a beginning,” the voice of the twinsoul echoed through Tomas’ mind. Looking at Ki’nam, he could see it was reverberating the same message to him.