Professor Ngalula flipped through his stack of notes for today's lecture on the relationship between the abuser and the abused. Order is founded in the family unit and the city of Divinity encouraged and required healthy family units to continue for the benefit of the whole. Unhealthy families breed unhealthy spirits which are a threat to order. It was important for spirit healers to recognise and treat the spirit early. Otherwise, the damage could become impossible to heal. Now, where did I put my pen…?

The door flipped open and his students pilled in to the lecture theatre. This class was for the ladies only. He gave the class 15 minutes to settle and for the tardy to catch up. Out of habit, he paid more attention to those at the back. Most of the women were happily chatting with their friends, but there was one who always kept her eyes covered behind tinted lenses. Her essays were amazing and her reviews on her placements were flawless, but there was one little issue with the eyeglasses.

The professor spread his arms in welcome. “Good Morning Ladies. I hope you all had a restful Ash festival.”

A chorus of affirmations and well-wishes filled the lecture theatre.

The professor smiled affectionately. “good, good. Then let us begin,” he said writing the title of the lecture on the blackboard.

The Relationship between Victim and Abuser

“The overdramatization in the media of those with ASPD (Anti-social Personality Disorder, more colloquially known as psychopaths), has led to the inability to recognise the dangers early or the victim's silent cry for help. Similarly, due to the portrayal of drowning in popular literature, people do not expect how silent the victims are and failed to help. If you cannot breathe you cannot call for help.

“Everyone at their heart wants to believe they are a good person. Individuals with ASPD are no different. Key characteristics of those with ASPD are poor emotional control and deception. Those with ASPD are also automatically given a diagnosis of NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) because they lack the capacity to empathise with others and have a grandiose self-image and sense of entitlement.

“Due to the ASPD’s lack of empathy for others and abundance of empathy for themselves they see any minor threat to their self-images as a personal attack. In a family setting, the ASPD/NPD individuals see their children as an extension of themselves. As such, the children must behave and act as the ASPD ‘perceives’ they should. Their children must do exactly what they say when they say it merely as a starting point. Complete obedience is not enough. The ASPD believes that they are entitled to have their needs for money, sex and admiration met without the corresponding personal accomplishments.

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“Nothing can ever be the ASPD’s fault despite how horrific their actions may be. However, make no mistake, these people know exactly what they are doing. Their actions are calculated and designed to reinforce their façade of perfection. They will therefore often manipulate and deny reality to the point that the victim of the abuse believe that they are the ones at fault. This is reinforced by the façade the ASPD presents to others who may believe them to be pillars of the community. The effect on the victims is profound.”

Professor Ngalula took a long drink of his already cold mint tea. A little dribble of liquid found its way in to his beard. The professor quickly wiped the greying brown bristles with the back of his hand and waited for the scratching on pen against paper and frantic typing on scrolls to pause before continuing.

“Victims, are not allowed to tell others of their abusers' behaviour. That was a threat to the ASPD’s self-image. Their victims having friends or acquaintances outside the immediate home was a threat and therefore the victim becomes isolated. The victims' world had to revolve around the ASPD because they lived in fear of their volatility. The ASPD’s behaviour and violent outbursts were the victims' fault. Displays of negative emotions such as fear, anger or distress could easily be met with more violence and verbal abuse or manipulation. As a result, the victim learns to suppress emotions and become invisible.

“When becoming invisible fails the victim will attempt to appease the ASPD. If that fails the victim will likely comply with the ASPD’s demands under duress despite how they may feel. Threats against the well-being of loved ones or pets are common means to control the victim. Subsequent compliance is likely to cause increased emotional suppression otherwise known as dissociation.

“The victim of abuse is not allowed to experience happiness outside of the influence of the ASPD. Any accomplishment of the victim has to be equal to, or less than the ASPD because it threatens their internal view of themselves as superior. However, the ASPD will push their child or victim to perfection. Expectations may be higher than what is appropriate for the souls' age and stage of development. This damages the development of the young soul by reinforcing the idea that they are useless and worthless. As a result of this constant internal and external abuse the victim tends to further dissociate as a defense mechanism.

Professor Ngalula found the girl with the tinted glasses. She’d set down her scroll and was listening intently. What was her name again? Ah Chantria Keita… Yes, a lack of confidence was often mentioned in her evolution’s. Perhaps I should send her an aether-mail.

The lecture ended and the ladies filed out. The next class was a refresher course for their soldiers. It was their sworn duty to protect those weaker than them and the ability to recognise these issues were considered important. Though the professor couldn’t stop a sigh when he saw the Abara boys come in. They could never could sit still.