The office was unusually quiet. Hikari hummed a cheerful tune while organizing a pile of scrolls, Tama offered a steady stream of unsolicited critiques, and Mana sat at his desk, absorbed in recalibrating the hotline’s mana channels.

Gobuto, reclining dramatically in his chair, stretched with a loud sigh. “Another peaceful day at the Heroic Helpline, all thanks to my outstanding leadership. You’re welcome, team.”

“You’ve done absolutely nothing,” Tama muttered.

Before Gobuto could respond, a red call orb on his desk flared brightly, accompanied by an ominous ding. Gobuto grabbed it eagerly, eager to show off.

“Heroic Helpline Network, this is Gobuto Haruo speaking. How can I assist you today?”

“This is the Grand Treasury Audit Authority!” boomed a deep, slightly garbled voice. “Your mana stabilization fees are overdue, and your network is at risk of… complete collapsation!”

Gobuto frowned. “Collapsation? That doesn’t sound like a real word.”

“Immediate payment is required!” another voice chimed in, trying to sound stern but stumbling over their words. “Failure to comply will result in your network freezing… and also overheating! At the same time!”

Gobuto blinked. “Freezing and overheating? Uh, that seems… unlikely.”

“It’s very advanced!” the scammer insisted.

Tama burst out laughing, its orb glowing brightly with amusement.

“Quiet!” Gobuto hissed, muting the call. He looked around, suddenly worried. “Guys? Should I… pay them? This sounds serious!”

Mana sighed, not bothering to look up. “It’s a scam.”

Megumi crossed her arms. “They just said your network will freeze and overheat simultaneously. What do you think?”

Gobuto hesitated. “Oh. Well, when you put it like that…”

Megumi raised an eyebrow. “Why don’t you handle it, Mr. Haruo? Or should I call you the hotline’s ‘Scam Specialist’?”

Gobuto puffed out his chest. “Scam Specialist? Please. I’m Vice President of Financial Operations.”

Megumi smirked. “Vice President now? How long until you start calling yourself Lead Investigator?”

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Gobuto grinned. “Actually, it’s Vice President, Lead Investigator, and Hero of the People. Let me show you how it’s done.”

Unmuting the orb, Gobuto cleared his throat. “This is Vice President Gobuto Haruo, also Lead Investigator of Financial Integrity. I’m taking this matter very seriously.”

The scammers, clearly encouraged, jumped at the opportunity. “Yes! You must transfer 5,000 mana gems immediately!”

“To avoid pipe collapsation!” another scammer added.

“And also treasury destabilization!” the first scammer stammered.

Gobuto nodded solemnly. “Very concerning. Where should I transfer the payment?”

“To the Vault of the Supreme Treasury… Mana Stabilization… Compliance Fund!” the scammer declared.

Tama whispered loudly, “Wow, that doesn’t sound fake at all.”

Mana sighed, typing away at his desk. “If this is their best effort, no wonder scamming is their only option.”

Gobuto kept his composure, but Hikari, barely suppressing laughter, leaned toward the orb. “Can we pay in dragon scales? I have some cursed mirrors too. They’re very shiny!”

“NO SHINY!” the scammer yelled. “Only mana!”

“Not even goblin tooth necklaces?” Gobuto asked innocently.

The scammers began whispering audibly in the background.

“Boss, what’s tooth necklaces?!”

“Just say no! No teeth!”

The line crackled as one scammer forgot to mute their crystal, revealing clinking dishes and bickering voices.

“Hey, stop eating fries on the crystal!”

“Boss, I’m hungry!”

“Hungry later! Scam first!”

Megumi sighed dramatically. “I’ve heard dungeon slimes with better negotiation skills than this.”

Meanwhile, Mana smirked as his screen lit up. “Their masking spell is outdated.”

Hikari tilted her head at the orb. “Wait, which department are you with again?”

“The… Grand Mana Treasury Audit and Compliance Oversight… Union!”

Gobuto nodded seriously. “A very trustworthy name.”

Tama groaned. “You’re actually encouraging them.”

Mana typed rapidly, his fingers flying across the keyboard. “I’m setting up a feedback loop. Let’s see how professional they look when their crystal malfunctions.”

Gobuto clutched the orb dramatically. “Oh no! I think the transfer triggered a curse! Everything’s glowing purple!”

“Purple?!” one scammer shrieked.

“Boss, what do we do?!”

Another voice yelled, “RUN!”

With a loud zap, the line cut off.

“That went well,” Mana said, leaning back.

“Very professional,” Megumi quipped. “I’ll bet they’re already hiring for their next ‘Supreme Vault Authority.’”

The office settled into its usual rhythm, and Tama let out a satisfied hum. “Scammers. Always biting off more than they can chew.”

Gobuto leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms triumphantly. “And that’s why they call me the Vice President, Lead Investigator, and Hero of the People.”

Megumi raised an eyebrow. “Hero of the People? Did you get a crown with that title, or just an invisible cape?”

Hikari giggled. “I think he needs a gold plaque to match.”

“I do have a knack for heroics,” Gobuto said, nodding to himself. “Maybe we should rename the hotline after me. Haruo’s Heroic Helpline! It has a nice ring to it.”

Tama groaned. “I’m going to file a request to have ‘chicken orb’ engraved on your desk if this continues.”

Mana, not looking up from his keyboard, muttered, “Do it. I’ll approve the budget for it.”

Megumi laughed softly, shaking her head. “Let’s add a new policy instead: ‘Verify before you pay—or at least don’t get scammed by someone who eats fries on the line.’”

Gobuto grinned. “I’ll add it to my list of achievements. Right after ‘defeated the Grand Treasury scammers!’”

The team dissolved into laughter as Gobuto pointed at an imaginary plaque. “Another day saved by yours truly.”