Calvin gave a lengthy exhale as he stepped through the fridge portal, feeling his bones shake as he felt an immediate change in the air the instant his foot went through. Not letting it distract him, he sharpened his gaze and started leering at every corner and every direction available to him.
'Alleyway. Dark, dank, and damp. Classic Villainopolis.’ He inwardly bemused while observing his surroundings with scrutiny.
After fully coming through, he wasted a couple more minutes to thoroughly scout the location, making sure to be as stealthy as he possibly could while checking corners, intersections, and bends in the immediate vicinity. Fortunately, and expectedly, the alleyway he ended up in was as deserted as it was dirty.
Not a single soul in sight— at the moment.
Even with his less-than-experienced eyes, he knew the place hosted large amounts of traffic. Judging by the egregiously abundant amount of bootprints and footprints stamped on the muck, he likely got lucky with his timing.
That, or someone used the alleyway to practice wind sprints.
'Gotta remember that on the way back. Might end up running into someone,’ he thought to himself, 'if I can find my way back.’
He tapped and opened the map on his holowatch, bringing up the screen. As soon as he did, the arrow saying 'you are here’ started glitching like a hacker teleporting around the map as he expected.
Calvin quickly closed the 'official’ map app and opened a different one. A static one. One that looked like 'real’ maps, with topographical symbols and lines and letters and names he hadn’t a single inkling about.
'How am I supposed to get anywhere?’ He complained while randomly scrolling through.
Sam originally gave him the map and Dox updated it with landmarks and territory names when he got a new watch. But, even with that, it was nearly impossible to pinpoint the dingy alleyway he popped out of, much less the random bridge he was planning to head towards.
'I need a point of reference,’ he thought, looking up towards the rooftops blocking the starless sky, 'let’s find us a sweet view, shall we?’
Thanks to [Jumper], scaling buildings was, quite literally, easier than eating a piece of cake— given that he likely has to bake that cake himself. The walls enclosing the alleyway made for easy footholds for the power to push off of, it took only a couple of jumps before reaching the roof of whatever building it was he was climbing.
“Heh,” he couldn’t help but smile, feeling like a video game character using iconic wall jumps, 'That was fun—’ “Damn.”
An involuntary sharp breath came. Even with everything running through his head right now, seeing the black void that was the skyline of Villainopolis couldn’t help but stun him and make his heart shiver. It was like a wrongness that he could barely sense the first couple of times he came here. Now it was blatant. And staring.
'Don’t mind the void. The void won't eat you. Probably,’ he thought, tearing his eyes away from the sky.
It took a moment before he fully shook the weirdness out of his mind, getting back the de-railed trains of thought he had before. 'Right, points of reference. Where am I…’
After about five minutes of squinting and trying to equate names to dark shapes on the horizon, he came to a very simple conclusion— he had no idea where the hell he was. He also found out another important fact: he had no idea how to read maps in any capacity outside of a GPS. Or a video game.
'Fuck it, plan B,’ he thought, thankful he actually had one.
He loaded up an app he thought of while sleeplessly overthinking a scenario where he got lost in Bastion’s metaphorical 'underworld’.
'Jog n’ log. Cute name. That should track whatever route I take even if I run at full speed. I’d have to backtrack to get back, but it’s better than getting lost.’
After starting it up, Calvin started jumping around towards random rooftops, checking the app to see if it was working. Luckily, it was, and was eerily accurate with its tracking. Creepy and useful often treaded thin lines.
With that problem sorted out, he found a corner on whatever rooftop he ended up on and sat down. He closed his eyes and a moment later, a bunch of items appeared on the floor in front of him: a golden wrench, a steel baton, a wooden box, an aerosol spray can, and a few more knick-knacks here and there.
'First off,’ he started with the box and opened it, feeling icky in his skin as a bundle of fingers rolled around like a bunch of cigars in a box.
p4rad0x’s Single-use Finger Guns How to use:
1. Remove the Finger Gun sleeve from the foam.
2. Wear the Finger Gun on your dominant hand’s forefinger.
3. Make a fist.
4. Point towards the enemy with the Single-use Finger Gun.
5. Extend your thumb perpendicularly.
6. When you’re ready to shoot, bring down the thumb towards the Single-use Finger Gun.
Bang!
7. Clean up the mess.
P.S. This product is intended for those who do not use the finger gun hand gestures in their daily lives
P.P.S. p4rad0x is not liable for any damages caused by your negligence
p4rad0x’s Single-use Finger Guns How to use:
1. Remove the Finger Gun sleeve from the foam.
2. Wear the Finger Gun on your dominant hand’s forefinger.
3. Make a fist.
4. Point towards the enemy with the Single-use Finger Gun.
5. Extend your thumb perpendicularly.
6. When you’re ready to shoot, bring down the thumb towards the Single-use Finger Gun.
Bang!
7. Clean up the mess.
P.S. This product is intended for those who do not use the finger gun hand gestures in their daily lives
P.P.S. p4rad0x is not liable for any damages caused by your negligence
'That girl is messed in the head,’ he thought idly while taking off one of his gloves.
He 'unsleeved’ one of the 'finger guns’ from the foam hotdog it was on and wore it over his own finger. The sleeve somehow, using some technology that was practically magic to the otherworlder, tightened to a non-uncomfortable level.
Immediately after, Calvin raised his finger and started making it do the worm, testing the feeling of the sleeve like it was a pair of tight pants. It wasn’t tight enough to cut circulation, but it still reminded him that it was there.
'Note to self, don’t make finger guns casually. Finger guns are deadly,’ He noted while putting the glove back on. 'Hmm, actually, should I test it? I mean, I should… I’ll test it later.’
He started sorting out the other things he thought he needed to keep outside of the pocket for faster and easier access. As helpful and as magical as tinker tech pockets were, it took a literal second to take out anything. Normally, it’s fine, but in a hurry, it might fuck him over.
Having important stuff out also made it easier to keep the fact that he had a pocket somewhat of a secret.
Despite his already warped sense of commonality(being surrounded by the top 0.1 per cent’s kids and all), he was still aware that pockets were rare— and extremely valuable. Likely more so in this place.
'First-aid kit, check. Second-aid kit, check. Backup first-aid kit, check. Energy bars, check. Water, check. Breath mints, check. Pepper spray, check— no, wait a minute’, his brows furrowed as he took a closer look at the spray can, '—spray-on pepper? Who the fuck wants spray-on pepper? There goes my goddamn credits. Fucking uncheck.’
After checking the small things and pocketing them in actual pockets and tiny bags, he moved on to the final and probably the most important equipment.
'The skull bashers,’ he smirked, taking the baton.
In a sad turn of events, it wasn’t Tinker Tech. Neither was the wrench beside it. The [Stun Baton] and its barrelful of other bats and batons he nicked from the kidnappings were, to his immense disappointment, confiscated by the authorities.
They shouldn’t have been, since he never told them about it, but someone likely snitched.
'Whoever it was is dead to me,’ he cursed internally.
Consequently, he’d resolved himself and his wallet to buy the cheapest one from the academy’s mall, but he had no idea they were incredibly expensive. At least, the legal and non-black-market-bought ones were.
Adding to that, there was the unnecessary 'red tape’ involved in owning weapons— a license.
Unfortunately, Calvin was underage.
Royal Road is the home of this novel. Visit there to read the original and support the author.
According to his profile, he was sixteen. The age of 'weapon carrying’ in Bastion was at least five years away so they wouldn’t have sold him even the weakest toothpick in the shop if it was tinker tech.
In the end, he resorted to the two in front of him.
The first was a simple reinforced steel baton: sturdy, dependable, and collapsible. It took a simple flick to extend, and a simple swing to bash skulls in. Or maybe just knock some teeth out. Or both.
'Holster that here,’ he strapped it on a leather loop he made in advance on his belt. He moved on to the wrench text, 'Hello old friend.’
A golden wrench, the second 'weapon’ he decided on, mainly as a backup. It was also the very first weapon he had in this world. And, although it had never seen action and was probably less useful than a proper metal bat in a fight, it was big, blunt, and heavy, which was enough.
Its only irredeemable property was its 'goldness’.
'I guess I can blind someone with the shine before— wait, what am I thinking? I can just—’, he was about to change its colour to black before he rethought for a second, '—invisible. I can make it invisible. Actually, I can make the baton invisible too!’
Excited, he willed [Colour Control] to take away the wrench’s colour.
Or, at least, he wanted to.
Instead, a massive drain of stamina worse than his attempt with the [Impervious Pebble] hit him. He felt like someone suddenly replaced all of his blood with water, that’s how bad the feeling sucked.
“Fuck—”, he immediately stopped, “—what the fuck was that?”
He looked cautiously at the wrench, confusion dripping through his mind as he tried to see what was wrong or different with it. As far as he could tell, nothing was, apart from the fact that it was gold. It was just a normal, stainless, nut-twisting, and potentially head-bashing, wrench.
“What the hell is with this? Is it like my pebbles? I don’t understand— no, I don’t have time for this,” he shook his head and forcefully pinned the thought to the back of his mind.
He pondered for a moment before finally deciding to keep it outside, holstering it on a loop on his back. It was rather inconvenient, but what just happened made him feel like it was potentially a better weapon than he thought. Plus, he had to hide its golden sheen.
'I’ll try and get Dox to look at it later,’ he thought before standing up.
After making sure he didn’t have anything left on the ground, he steeled himself to finally go, explore, and hopefully find Batty.
'Okay, but where do I actually start?’
----------------------------------------
For around half an hour, Calvin had done nothing but scale up and down buildings, jump across rooftops, and peek down alleyways, all while constantly checking any sign of life in the vicinity. Or any actual signage at all. But there was nothing.
'Not a single signpost, poster, billboard, map, or even graffiti. Not even an 'x was here’ etched in a random brick’, he complained as he sat on the edge of the building, 'Ironically, these are the cleanest walls I’ve seen. Even walls in Central had posters on it.’
While idly sitting around, clenching and unclenching his fist in thought, a sensation on his finger reminded him of something he put off for later, 'Right, I didn’t test the finger guns. Maybe I could right now?’
He swivelled his head and looked around, checking for anything suspicious or anything that could record him. A camera, a random shadow, or anything that could be anyone. Like before, there was nothing.
'It’ll be more productive, I guess,’ he sighed before aiming his finger forward. 'This feels ridiculous.’
Despite thinking like this, Calvin got into character and slowed his breathing, copying what he knew from movies and games. He aimed with his thumb up, tracing the ridge of his forefinger and pointing towards a random building in the distance.
'Actually,’ he brought his aim upwards, just in case, before bringing his thumb down.
Instantly, a boom rang out.
Not a ’bang’. A boom.
There was an ear-ringing explosion that blinded, deafened, and numbed him for a moment. A bone-breaking force pushed back against his arm and flung it back, making him stumble backwards onto the roof.
“Shit!”, he cursed, rolling to his feet and looking to the sky. Of course, he saw nothing but the same complete voidness, 'Finger guns? How are this fucking guns? They're more like cannons! Goddamn!’
In a panic, he started checking his hand and arm, massaging it up to his shoulder to check if anything was broken, bleeding, or bruised. Much to his surprise, and immense relief, there was virtually zero damage other than the slight numbness at the tip of his finger and the mild soreness from suddenly getting his arm flung backwards.
“Fucking hell, Dox,” he muttered, annoyance and praise obvious in his tone, “and she gave me an entire box of this? There’s no way… although, I probably should’ve removed my glove. It’s all fucked up now—”
“Who the fuck are you?!” A voice jolted Calvin out of his self-medical exam. “Hands in the fucking air, bozo!”
“Bozo?” Calvin muttered as he looked towards the voice, pausing as he saw what he was wearing. “Motorcycle helmet… you again?”
“There’s a dude up here, Chief,” the man whispered to himself, “I don’t know, chief. He doesn’t look like he has anything on him. Nothin’ explosive or anything. Just a weird mask on, lookin’ all blurry and shit.”
'Either it’s popular, cheap, or a uniform,’ he observed the man while secretly unsheathing the baton. 'Hmm… maybe they know where the bridge is. I can ask them, I guess.’
“I know it’s weird, that’s what I’m telling you— can you guys just get up here, he looks dangerous— hey!” The man re-pointed the gun towards him. “I said hands up!”
Calvin raised his hands, pursing his lips in hesitation before just going for it, “Hey, uh, this is going to sound awkward, but I don’t mean you any harm or anything. I’m just kinda lost, so if you could just give me some direction then I’ll just go—”
“Shut your fucking mouth!” The man shouted, walking closer to him. “Who are you?! Why are you attacking us?! Which group do you belong to?! And what the fuck was that explosion?!”
He furrowed his brows and stared at the man, readying himself to use his powers at a moment’s notice.
'A pebble to the barrel, a baton to the noggin,’ he planned while keeping silent. 'Or, I can just push it up.’
“Speak!” The man ordered again, now close enough to push the muzzle against his mask.
“One, that was a lot of questions. And two, you told me to shut up.”
The man paused before fully pushing his gun against his head, “Keep being a smartass and I’ll blow your fucking brains—”
In one swift motion, Calvin ducked and pushed the gun barrel upwards before wrenching it away from the surprised man’s grip. With a strong kick to the stomach, he made him fly and crash against the door of the roof access a few meters behind him.
After throwing away the gun towards another roof, he jumped towards the man on the wall, pushing his knee against his throat while taking off his helmet and pulling his fist back as a threat.
“Tell me where— oh shit,” he immediately removed his knee, took the man’s pulse, and neared his ear to his nose. After a few seconds, he let out a breath of relief, “Not dead. Good.”
“Shin! You fucking— did you get the black blurry guy or whatever the fuck you were talking—” Another person appeared from inside the doorway, wearing the same thing as the man below him. “Fuck?! You killed him!”
Calvin was about to defend himself, at least verbally, when the man pointed his gun at him. He dashed to the side, running behind the roof access wall to dodge the first barrage of bullets before jumping over to a more steel-looking cover.
“I didn’t kill him!” He shouted as soon as he got behind what looked like some air-conditioning. “He’s not dead!”
“Then why does he look dead, fucker?!” He heard the man shout back before bullets started peppering his cover.
“Chief! What’s happening up there!” A different voice asked as the man stopped shooting.
“What do you think?! This motherfucker killed Shin!”
“I said I didn’t!”
“This motherfucker’s a liar too!”
“Shin?” The other guy asked, obviously confused.
“The fucking new kid!” They answered angrily. “He’s by the door!”
There was a moment of silence before the new guy answered hesitantly, “…you mean Sean, Chief?”
“Sean?” The 'chief’ muttered quite loudly.
“Yep,” he confirmed, “and he’s still breathing, chief. I just checked.”
“Nobody even said anything… fucking—,” Calvin heard a plastic think, “—who cares what his name is or if he’s alive?! Just shoot the motherfucker trespassing and bombing us!”
“Ugh—”, the guy groaned, “—damn it, when will I get reassigned to a different squad…”
A more furious round of bullets started pelting Calvin’s cover. Unfortunately for them, he’d long since jumped upwards and towards their backs, using a pebble as a platform to change directions mid-air. He landed as lightly as he could while sheathing the baton.
'Lightly,’ Calvin thought while grabbing their helmets and then bashing them against each other.
An audible, yet weak, thump rang out.
He controlled his strength, albeit he controlled it a bit too much, 'Not that light!’
“You—”, the two turned to him, guns pointing and unfazed by his attack.
“Fuck!” Calvin, still holding onto their heads, jumped, flipped, and smacked them against each other once more— less controlled this time.
“Agh!” Their helmets cracked and they stumbled, giving him a chance to grab the guns and throw them towards a random rooftop
“You shit—”, their 'chief’ recovered quickly, spinning around to punch Calvin.
He blocked with his arm but unexpectedly took a few steps back.
'Fuck— they’re supers?’ He went to full alert for a moment before remembering the last time he encountered them. 'Ah, right. Tinker tech.’
The man continued his assault, punching and charging at him, while Calvin continued blocking and dodging. He seemed fast and trained, but somehow unused to the speed he was dishing out attacks.
Tired and haggard, the man resorted to taunts, “Haah… stop slinking away you rat bastard— agh.”
Calvin twisted his body and kicked his helmet, sending the man to the side.
“Chief!” The other guy, now recovered, was rushing towards Calvin.
He noticed that, oddly enough, the man had taken off his gloves. However, that oddness wouldn’t last long as the man pointed his palms towards him.
Purple goo suddenly blanketed his vision, coming out of the man's palms. He didn’t even have time to curse in his inner monologue before using [Jumper] to its maximum, dodging to the side without regard to whatever he hit.
And, unfortunately, he hit a railing.
“Ugh, fuck. My ribs,” he groaned. 'Use [Vigilant Aegis] next time you rush blindly. Damn. That looked like poison. Or some sort of acid.’
Despite being dizzy from the impact, he forcefully tried to gather his senses and focus his blurry vision to look towards the unexpected super— which was a mistake.
Purple instantly covered his vision and his entire body. A sticky sensation stuck to his skin as a strong odour permeated through his nose.
“Shit!” He cursed while trying to get the goo off in panic.
However, the burning sensation and the subsequent acidic sting didn’t come. What did come was a bundle of information from his beloved superpower— [Gourmand’s Insight].
“…grape?” He blurted out in confusion, looking at the purple goo.
“Concentrated grape juice!” Grape man corrected him smugly, showing off his de-gloved hands oozing with purple slime.
He stared at his hands for a moment before giving an odd look towards the man, “You just make this from your hands?”
“Well, I mean, I can do it from other places, I guess. But, you know, hands feel like the least weird,” the man said with a shrug. “And least 'inappropriate’, if you know what I mean.”
“Thank you for that, I guess?” He nodded. “But why grape?”
“What? You got a problem with grape?” His tone turned somewhat aggressive.
Calvin nodded lightly while brushing off the goo, “At the moment, kinda.”
“Yeah, I got it in the bargain bin. Yeah, I know nobody likes grape a lot. But so what? I don’t got a lot of money, okay?! This shit’s expensive!”
“Alright, alright. Calm down, man.”
“Hey!” The annoying and noisy chief returned, helmetless and looking like a ripe tomato. “What the fuck are you doing you fucking powerfucker?! Fucking get him!”
“Alright, alright,” Grape man nodded annoyedly while muttering, “No need for name-calling.”
Calvin looked at him for a moment then turned to the grape man, “Is he always like that?”
“You have no— idea!” Grape shouted while spraying him with the goo.
The good news was that it was just juice. The bad news was that the goo was unnaturally sticky. And slippery.
“Fuck!” Calvin shouted as he fell face-first to the cement.
“Ha! You fucker, I’m going to fuck you up— fuck!” The approaching 'chief’ slipped right beside him.
Calvin took this chance to grab and perform a hooked chokehold on him.
“Chief!” Grape guy shouted, pointing his palms at the both of them. “Let him go!”
“Goo us, I dare you,” Calvin taunted, tightening his grip.
“Ack!” 'Chief’, choked. “Too— tight— fucker!”
“Ah, sorry,” He released his grip a bit.
“Haah… hooh…” They breathed in and out in a frenzy. “You fuck, were you trying to kill me?!”
“That’s kinda the point, man,” He said almost amusedly. “Anyway, you, grape guy. Answer my question and I’ll let both of you go. Deal?”
“Don’t fucking listen to this piece of— ack!”
“Do fucking listen to this piece of whatever. I’m in a hurry and I just need directions and I’ll be out of your hair in no time.”
“The only direction we can give you is where you can go fuck yourself you murdering sack of—ack!”
“I swear I’m going to twist your—”, Calvin muttered annoyedly, “look, no one’s dead. At most, you guys gotta get your guns back from another roof. So can we just— please?”
Grape guy deliberated for a moment before nodding, “Direction to where?”
Happy that he was finally getting somewhere, he gave a thankful nod to the man and tapped his watch. A large hologram popped up in front of them, showing the brightened image of the bridge Batty sent him— barring the red circle of course.
“Any idea where this is?” He asked, doubtful but hopeful they’d answer.
“Fuck you,” the noisy one shouted right by his ear, “Don’t you know who we are? Do you even understand who you're messing with? We’re Villainopolis mother fucker! We’re—”
“Oh my fucking—”, with one swift motion, Calvin took out a dropper with liquid in it and shoved it into the man’s mouth. “There.”
“Wha—?!” He spat and coughed, trying to take out what Calvin fed him. “What was that?! What did you just give me?!”
“Something to shut you up,” He smiled.
“What the fuck does that—”, he stopped, immediately going limp.
“Finally, some quiet,” He said, standing up but still holding the man in front of him as a shield. “So, where were we—”
“Did you just poison him?!” Grape guy looked at him apprehensively.
“No, no, he’s just slee—”
A loud snore interrupted him, coming from the obvious source.
“—ping. Goddamn. Even unconscious he’s fucking annoying,” he muttered. “Anyway, you got an idea where it is?”
Grape man looked at his chief for a second before looking back at him, “I don’t know. It’s just a bridge. It could be anywhere, sorry.”
“Damn. Well, thanks anyway,” he sighed, feeling like all that effort was for nothing. “Actually, is there anywhere else I can— shit!”
Calvin immediately dove forward and pushed Grape guy down with Chief in hand.
An explosion rang out soon after, right where the three of them were initially stood. Without missing a beat, he stood up and did a quick scan towards where he saw the projectile come from, seeing a literal horde of people on a distant roof, all wearing bandit-like gear that looked straight out of a video game.
Bullets and random elemental projectiles started flying into the air, aimed sloppily towards their general direction.
“Scrappers!” Grape guy shouted as he saw them. “We need to run!”
“Here!” Calvin pulled him up and shoved Chief in his arms. “I’m getting the other guy. Just run! I’ll follow!”
Without waiting for a reply, or for his brain to catch up, he dashed to the unconscious kid by the doorway and picked him up. He jumped to the side and dodged a literal firebolt before heading towards Grape man ushering him from another roof.
“Head down! It’s easier to escape from the streets!” He shouted before jumping down the ledge.
Calvin immediately dashed over and jumped down the same way, finding a fire escape that caught him below. He jumped off the side again and negated the fall with [Jumper], immediately catching up to Grape guy.
“Let’s go!” Grape guy shouted, running towards a direction.
“Who the fuck are they?!” Calvin asked while they ran.
“They’re— haah— Scrappers!” He answered despite his tiredness.
Calvin decided to leave the explanation for later, after they’ve escaped.