By next morning, after our coffee break, we were up on a hillside with a good view over the lower hills. I could see ahead that this was the highest point, and the road began descending towards a plain further on. We’d had our coffee in a very nice spot looking out over the forest below. It was still cloudy, and mist drifted down in the valleys. I’d tried to look back and see how far we’d come, but the road curved away behind the hills.

We were just passing a narrow bit of road, with rocks rising over us to the right and a steep fall to our left, when a couple of rocks fell in front of us.

“More bandits!” Tiriel sang out, but she didn’t pull out her bow. Nobody drew their weapons, but we all stopped and looked up. Sure enough, up on the cliff several men were looking down at us. Two of them had bows, and one had a couple of large rocks by his feet.

“The best thing you can do now is to take out your gold, slowly and carefully,” one of the bandits said. He looked like the leader. “No sudden movements, or my friends may get twitchy fingers.” One of the bowmen leered at us.

Tiriel moved, very slowly - very, very slowly, lowering her satchel towards the ground. I’d understood she carried some actual gold, which was exchanged for coins in towns and cities and then shared among the party. She didn’t carry all our gold though, but I didn’t understand where the rest of it was.

While she fiddled with her satchel, Arndrir moved slowly along the road.

“Where are you going, mister,” the bandit said. “Stop where you are. Stop!”

The ranger stopped, just in front of the rocks that had fallen on the road. The rocks jumped back up to the bandits.

Two of them hit one of the bowmen, and he went down. The other narrowly ducked another rock, but he was distracted. The leader shouted something, and our party exploded into action. Tiriel moved like lightning, leaping over to the rocks on the side and then scuttling up. Arndrir drew his sword and ran up the road, while Thord jogged back to Serah, standing beside her with his axe whirling in the air. I drew my sword and looked around uncertainly.

Caveria... Caveria was grinning up at the bandits, a thin, sharp smile. Her hands were glowing softly red, and as I watched she moved them. Small rocks and stones shot up from the side of the road, together with a spray of dust, obscuring the bandits up on the rock. I heard them cursing and shouting, and then three of them scrambled down from the rock. Tiriel laughed and sang something up there.

Two of the bandits landed right it front of me, drawing their swords and rushing me. I yelped and tried to swing at them, and like before lost my balance. I tried to circle around to their left, but one of them blocked me. I thrust and swung my sword wildly. They hung back, trying to figure out what I was doing, but I didn’t doubt they would soon decide I didn’t know what I was doing. One of them was slowly moving to my right, so I’d have one on each side.

Further down the road I saw Thord engaged in a strange dance with the third bandit, leaping and jumping with his axe still whirling. Serah was on one knee behind him.

More dust sprayed into the air from the road, obscuring my view. I realized I was being pushed backwards, if pushed was the right word when my opponents just made leisurely thrusts in my direction. The edge of the cliff behind was coming closer.

Suddenly a fireball streaked across between me and the bandits. I yelped again as the heat struck me. The bandits jumped back and regrouped. Caveria came walking up on my right, her hands now shining brightly.

The bandits rushed us, with raised swords. I didn’t really think, but raised my sword and leapt in front of Caveria.

“Get out of the way,” she hissed, but I pointed the sword at one bandit and ran towards him. He stopped, and as he tried to dodge my sword I managed to hit his face with my fist.

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As he rose, he hit me back, in the belly, and I stumbled backwards, right into Caveria.

“What are you doing, you idiot,” she cried as we both fell, landing on the edge of the cliff, and then sliding over it.

The drop had looked steep from the road, but it wasn’t that steep. I screamed as we slid and tumbled down the hillside, until I slammed into a tree and stopped. I shot up, panicking. I’d lost the sword! Where were the bandits? Where was Caveria?

She was on her feet, facing a group of short, green... elves? They had pointy ears, but they also had fangs and looked brutal. Not at all beautiful as Tiriel. Whatever they were they weren’t friendly. They snarled towards Caveria, pulled out long knives and attacked us.

I was completely useless in the fight. I tried to run back and get my sword, which was lying some distance away, caught in a low bush on the slope, but the green things spread out in a circle and cut me off.

Caveria looked at me and shook her head with an exasperated look. “Don’t move!” she said sharply. Her hands flared up, burning bright red. A circle of flame sprung up around us. Some of our attackers fell back, but a couple climbed up trees nearby and jumped.

Caveria shot fireballs at them, dropping them dead. Another one, larger than the others, threw an axe towards her, spinning through the air. She just raised one hand and swatted it out of the air.

I didn’t dare move, with the fire roaring around us.

“Down, you fool!” Caveria shouted, and I threw myself flat on the ground as three more came sailing through the air from behind me. She just waved her hand, and the green beings just - hit a wall. An invisible wall in the air. They crashed to the ground and lay still.

The others finally turned and ran. I got up on my knees as the circle of fire died down. I felt nauseous, as much from the stench of charred flesh as from shame.

Caveria walked up to me. I looked up at her. She looked like a demon again. Her eyes burned red, like her hands, and her face was expressionless. We looked at each other, silently.

“Well,” I croaked finally. “Why don’t you kill me right now, and get it over with? It’s going to happen soon anyway, unless everyone else keeps protecting me.”

She said nothing. I sat down heavily and stared at my feet.

“I’m completely useless,” I said bitterly. “And you were right, you know. I’m not a hero. I’m... I don’t know anything about this. I - I don’t know what I’m doing here or even where I am. I was at a party and then I fell into the lake and landed in that damned courtyard where I met you, and I have no idea what’s going on. I’m not a hero, I’ve never held a sword before.” I gestured towards my sword. “I’ve never fought with a sword. I’ve never fought at all. I’m an engineer. I come from a world with cars and computers and machines and not... monsters and bandits. I can’t do this. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

She still said nothing. I glanced up at her. The red glow had faded, and her eyes were back to their normal, cold blue. She still looked fearsome, with those spikes and blades, although some of them were bent. From the fall, probably.

“Just... kill me. You know you want to,” I challenged her. I was fed up with this, all this. This - dream, if that’s what it was. Maybe if she killed me I would wake up. Or at least get another dream.

“Stop whining,” she said contemptuously. She walked around behind me and sat down, leaning against my back. “I’m not going to kill you. Not if you ask for it.”

She sighed heavily. “I don’t understand you,” she said. “I know you’re no hero. That was clear from the start, and by now the moon goddess herself can see it with her eyes closed. But... Tiriel said you should join us, and what she says, goes. Not just because she pays us, but also because she’s almost always right. It’s annoying - she seems like such a floofhead, but she knows a lot of stuff she shouldn’t know.”

I digested this. I’d figured as much, since nobody seemed to question Tiriel at all, but Caveria had seemed closest to rebel.

“Why are you here?” she said.

“I don’t know,” I replied. I was so tired. My body hurt all over, and I was tired of this. The moon goddess was an evil bitch, or a bitch with evil humor, if this was her idea of a joke. “I have no idea. Like I said, I was just out for some air when I fell into a lake. The moon was shining on it. Then I was here. That’s all I know.”

“That sounds crazy.”

“Yeah. It is crazy. I am crazy. A crazy, useless loser.”

She got up so fast I fell on my back. She crouched down and pushed me onto the ground, pressing at my chest.

“Stop whining!” she growled. “You may be no hero, but you’re not a child. I don’t know why you’re here, but Tiriel says you should be here. So you stay. I’m not going to kill you. I’m going to do something worse to you.” She smiled, but it didn’t look friendly at all.

“I’m going to join Arndrir, and teach you,” she said. “You can’t walk around and be as clueless as you are now. Hero or no hero.”

She rose and went up the hillside to retrieve my sword. “Come on. We need to get back to the others.”

She walked off briskly with my sword in her hand. I got up and limped after her.