The same scenery more or less keeps greeting Lulu and I no matter how far we travel along this meandering stream of water.
The rather large trees of this dense forest without fail look pretty much all the same to me no matter what. There is some dense foliage here and there, plenty of wood for a fire when I feel like roasting some vegetables with the fruits we find in all the regions of this place we have been in so far, which is convenient because,I still can’t bring myself to hunt an animal as a source of food and well I can’t exactly access my inventory system yet so hunting monsters as a source of food from drop items would be a moot point even if it weren’t so dangerous, and would the loot even make it to my inventory with my power sealed? Food for thought I guess. LOL.
Anyway, I’ve been having a bit of a recurring problem the past three weeks since the incident with the moth monster.
“Damn it, Lulu! Stop taking my food! Why do you do this every single time?!”
Yes, Lulu still hasn’t stopped taking from my portion of food whenever we eat together. It doesn’t matter if it’s breakfast, lunch, dinner, or a snack. It happens every time and Lulu is so head headed he just won’t stop!
“Lulu! Lulu!”
“Graaahh! You know I can’t even begin to guess what you’re saying at times like this! What good reason could you possibly have to keep taking from my share of food?!”
We ended up butting heads as usual. Literally and figuratively. If one was to see the scene between us in person I’m sure they would agree that you could almost see the sparks flying between our glares.
I was getting really tired of this argument. And no amount of tickling, tackling, wrestling, yelling and bonking on the head was working, Lulu would not change his mind.
You would think that he’d stop doing this after making it so clear I do not like it when he does this right? You’d think he’d stop after I got physical and started yelling and stuff right?
But no! He still won’t stop! I really don’t understand why he won’t stop taking food from me, maybe it’s in his nature as a koala, maybe he’s trying to get back at me for something I said or did, or maybe the reason is something entirely different but this simply cannot go on!
“Damn it, Lulu! Are you the Father?!” This was the moment I first uttered my signature line of questioning, although at this time it hasn’t been established my signature line of questioning just yet. “Are you the Son? Are you the Holy Spirit?!” I continue shouting out my questions as I grab onto Lulu’s shoulders and shake him repeatedly. “Are you the Amen?! No?! Then who are you to keep stealing my food?! You have no right! So stop it!”
“Luuuluuuu…!” And now he’s growling at me. I don’t believe he realizes what I was referring to with those questions, since I’m fairly sure Christianity is not a thing in this fantasy world but I’m willing to bet he understands what I’m getting at judging from my tone and actions. He realizes I am upset, with him in fact, but he’s the one getting mad at me for getting upset?! I’m the one being wronged! So, what the fuck?!
“Fine, Lulu! If you’re going to be like that, then I don’t want to be around you right now! Get out of here!” I declare while pointing off to the side in some random direction of the forest. It is day time right now by the way, we were having lunch not too long ago.
“Lulu! Lulu!” My koala companion stands up, huff at me and then starts walking away in the opposite direction from where I am pointing. You won’t even follow a simple command like that ah?! Even though I saved your life and you bonded to me as a familiar, the moment you are angry with me you disobey me?
“Yeah, that’s right just walk away! I don’t need you!” I was doing just fine by myself anyway, way before I even met Lulu. Well, as fine as one could be after being transported to some random forest without so much as my giving consent or anything. And then traveling alone for who knows how long exactly.
I don’t know if I lost energy from all of that yelling and physical exertion or whatever but I’m feeling hungry again.
Over the past three weeks Lulu and I have gathered a vast amount of vegetables and fruits. They look similar enough to the fruits and vegetables back on Earth that I assume they are called the same things over here.
I feel like getting back at Lulu for being such a bitch and indulging in some really good food right now so I decide to make another batch of vegetable soup with extra carrots and radishes this time!
I gather some more wood to keep the fire we started earlier going, and then I gather some water into the pot and place it over the flame. While I am waiting for the water to reach a good enough temperature I peel and chop the vegetables that I wish to add to the soup. The selection I have chosen ranges from cabbage, to carrots, radish, and even some potatoes.
Within several minutes I have cooked all the vegetables after adding them into the boiling pot of water. I could transfer portions onto a bowl like what Lulu and I were doing earlier but I’m the only one eating right now so I think it’s okay to eat straight from the pot. I’ll wash it after I am done anyway.
Soon enough I was drinking up all of the soup after having eaten all of the vegetables in a span of half an hour at most. I made sure to wash all of the utensils and whatnot that I had used, even what Lulu had used earlier. He wasn’t around to help so no choice but to do it all myself.
I had just packed everything into my bag when I heard some rustling noises coming from deeper into the forest on my left.
I instantly set my bag down and grab my legendary (I’m calling it that already because it just seems right, and eventually it will become legendary so what’s the problem?) club from beside me.
I stand up straight and enter what I feel is a good enough battle stance. It was quite similar to the position a player takes up in baseball when it’s time to go up to bat but, I think it works considering my weapon of choice.
There were seven enemies in total. Six goblins and what I think is called a hobgoblin, the second evolutionary stage of Goblins if they have racked enough experience and eaten enough of the right stuff. Or so I remember from reading some fantasy manga from before. I’m sure the same logic more or less applies in this world.
The goblins were about, what, 4 feet at most? Wielding daggers, hatchets and short swords. The hobgoblin stood at around six feet or so and was pretty muscular. The hobgoblin didn’t seem to have a weapon on him but considering the huge fists and arms and overall body he had he could knock me out in one hit or so.
“Gegegegegegege!” The goblins started laughing at me for some reason. While the hobgoblin looked on impassively studying me for a moment before looking to our surroundings as if searching for something.
“They’re laughing at your super low level of 1, human.” The hobgoblin said to me all of a sudden.
I was surprised, another monster that could talk? Great, just my rotten luck. This guy must be pretty high level or have inflated stats in order to be able to do that right? I get that sort of feeling.
“Uh, right, thanks for explaining that…hobgoblin…” I know it’s weird and we should probably just start fighting or something but I am so curious right now. “But I have to ask, why did you feel the need to explain that to me?”
“I don’t know exactly.” The hobgoblin started scratching behind his head in confusion. “I guess because I couldn’t help but feel sorry for you? You have the aura of someone that’s pretty much...trash.”
It was like a bolt of lightning had struck me in that moment. So shocked was I by what he said that I couldn’t help but freeze on the spot for a few moments.
Trash? I gave off the feeling of trash? How does that even work? Also, I know I’m only level one at the moment but that will change in the future! I’ll make sure of it!
“Oh, your face seems to say you think it’s only because of your level.” The hobgoblin felt the need to speak up again for some reason. “But no, that’s not the only reason. Your combat stance is trash, your sense of style is trash, your looks are trash and judging from what I heard from the argument you had with that familiar earlier, your personality is trash too! So much about you give off the feeling of trash, it’s actually rather amazing!” The hobgoblin finished with making a fist and bumping into his open palm, you know the gesture, the one where you've figured something out? You get the idea.
“That’s so hurtful, hobgoblin! I know I shouldn’t care what a monster thinks, and you don’t know me, but! That’s really hurtful!” I could not help the tears that began to form on my eyes and I proceeded to crouch down and draw circles with one on hand on the forest floor.
“As if I care about hurting your feelings or not! I was kind enough to explain why the goblins were laughing at you! You should be more grateful to me, you stupid human!” He shakes his fist at me all the while he was saying this.
“Bah! Enough of this! Are going to fight or what?!”
“Gladly, fool! Get him goblins!”
The six goblins charge at me all at once while the hobgoblin stays back, choosing to observe for now. The goblins were fast I imagine, but not so fast I could not follow their movements.
I hit the closest one to my right in the chest and then roll out of the way of the incoming daggers and short swords from the next four goblins that come rushing in, the last one with a hatchet (which is also wielded by the first one that I hit in the chest) almost gets me in the leg but I block his strike with my club!
I push the goblin away with my apparent superior strength and then dash to the opposite side of my attackers, gaining some distance in order to catch my breath and think things through.
The goblins charged in without a care in the world. I start swinging wildly, hitting each of them on the head as hard as I can as fast I can as soon as they get close to me. I jump back when I need to avoid being cut, stabbed or slashed at but I am able to hit them cleanly on the head.
All six goblins are now lying on the forest floor, groaning and grabbing at their heads in pain. Odd, shouldn’t they be more damaged than this? I put all my strength into each of my attacks, shouldn’t that have counted for something?
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“Interesting. You have a club made from the branch of a Healing Tree.” The hobgoblin spoke up, while rubbing his chin in deep thought.
“Healing Tree? What?” I give him a quizzical look seeing as I have no idea what he’s talking about.
“That club of yours is made from the branch of a tree with natural healing properties. It requires a special procedure and circumstances to be able to harvest it for materials and ingredients but, it is doable. Although, you don’t seem like the kind of person with resources and knowledge like that. Which makes me wonder… what sort of miracle occurred for you to be able to get a branch from a Healing Tree?”
Ah, so with every hit of my club it causes some damage and also heals a certain amount? What a strange weapon I have. “...you’re a fucking smart hobgoblin, you know that?” I couldn’t help it, he just explained something rather profound and it does explain why it took so many hits for me to kill the moth monster before. It was a combination of my low level, his defense and the healing property of this club of mine.
“I make do.” The hobgoblin smirked at me. “This joke of a fight ends now though! I will be your opponent!”
The hobgoblin forms what is an honest-to-goodness boxing stance, he’s even hopping from side to side. I ready my club in front of my chest this time. So what if my club heals with every hit, I just have to hit hard enough to cause way more damage! It worked with the moth monster, after all, he died! Eventually but still he died!
With speed I was not expecting from his rather bulky form the hobgoblin dashes towards me, breaks through my guard and scores a solid straight punch into my gut.
I cough out a lot of spit and blood from that one blow. Gritting my teeth I move to glare at the hobgoblin, just in time to see his other fist head straight for my face.
There is the horrible pain I feel on my right cheek as he punched me there with his left hand before all I know is darkness.
***
I woke up in a steel cage, used for large animals I imagine. It is backed up against the side of a mountain. From the front of the cage I see goblins. Lots and lots of goblins.
There are dozens of goblins gathered in this area which seems to be more of grass plains now rather than the dense forest we were in before. The hobgoblin that seems to rule over this, er, tribe I’ll call it, is seated at the far end of this settlement on what looks to be a throne carved out of stone.
I see crude houses, small in size made out of stone as well. Bonfires dot the various gathering areas of the goblins and there seems to be sectioned off area to the side, closed off by a wooden fence.
The goblins are dancing around the various fires, eating to their heart’s content the various animals they have hunted which are all spit-roasted. They even had cups in their hands as well and were drinking from them occasionally. I assumed it was either water or some alcoholic drink.
And I was really fucking terrified. Crowds make me so uneasy! And this was a crowd of monsters!
What the hell were they celebrating anyway? My capture? Hell if I know for sure.
I have to get out of here. But how? They took my club and my bag with everything in it, obviously. I could see them by the side of the hobgoblin’s throne.
Well, damn it. Everything I could possibly use to escape somehow was by that throne. I think and think and think but nothing comes to mind on how get out of this. I start to feel the panic rise. My palms are getting sweaty. My heart seems to want to jump out of my chest. And my breathing is getting really erratic. Is there really no way out of this?
Eventually I pass out and sleep claims me for who knows how long. At least that way I wasn’t losing myself to the madness that is my current situation.
“Lulu… Lululu…” I hear a familiar-sounding voice, which rouses me from my sleep. It is dark out and all the goblins and their hobgoblin leader are asleep. From what I can see anyway.
Naturally when I look out the front of my cage, I see my blue-furred familiar standing there, looking at me with the smuggest look I have ever seen on his face. Don’t question how I can tell it was a smug look, it just was.
Relief flooded my being for just a moment there. Lulu had found me and is no doubt her to save me.
I was still so mad at Lulu though. Mad about my food being taken constantly. Call it childish, stupid or whatever but I was still mad. Lulu should really respect what I have to say more.
And because I could not let go of my anger just yet, I ended saying what I said next. “Go away, Lulu! I do not need your help!” I hissed at my supposed savior. I felt bad about what I said as soon as I said it but I also felt my anger swell at seeing Lulu and seeing him so smug about coming here to save me.
Lulu tilts his head to the side. “Lulu?”
“Yes, I’m sure! Just get out of here!” I shoo him away with a gesture. “I can figure something out on my own.”
Lulu walks over to some pile close to the cage I had not noticed was there before due to my little freak out earlier and the fact it’s rather dark right now. He picks up something that is about twelve inches long and about an inch or two wide.
He holds it up close to the cage so that I can see it better in what little light is provided by the moon and the dying embers of the various bonfires.
It’s a bone but not just any bone. Judging by the shape and size it belonged to a human. That was a pile of bones?!
“Okay, okay! I’m so sorry I yelled at you and everything, Lulu! Please help me get out of here!” All this time I have made sure that my voice was not too loud when talking to Lulu. I just hope I sounded sincere enough with my apology.
“Lulu. Luuluuluu.” The koala nods in satisfaction and places the bone back onto the pile. He then reaches for something else that was on the ground and hands it to me through the bars of the steel cage.
It was a key. “This is for the cage? How in the world were you able to steal it? Ah well, that’s not really important right now I guess… Thanks, Lulu!” I am still whispering of course.
Quick as I can I put the key into the lock and turn it the right way, I hear an audible click in the next moment. The cage door is nudged open slightly and I carefully push it open the rest of the way, making as little noise as possible.
Once I am out of the cage I crouch down and grab Lulu in a tight hug. “As thanks for helping me out of that cage Lulu, I promise to always give you half of my share of the food no matter what from now on.” Thinking back on it maybe I should have tried asking Lulu what was wrong and stuff instead of just reacting so violently to taking my food. It was a really mean thing of him to do and it pissed me off but, I could have reacted better I guess.
Seeing as Lulu had just helped me escape from that cage, despite our earlier fight then I suppose he deserves some more food from now on. It’s the least I can do as thanks, I think.
“We have to go get my bag and club, Lulu. Quietly…” Lulu merely nods and starts walking in what I assume is the best path to take to the throne of the hobgoblin.
We walk past sleeping goblins, the bonfires, weapons are strewn across the ground, and so on. But we eventually make it to the side of the throne where my belongings are kept.
The hobgoblin seems to be fast asleep still just like his goblin subordinates. I reach down for my bag and club slowly but surely.
Everything seems to be going as planned…
“Achoo!” And then I sneezed. Because of course I did. That came out of nowhere!
Miraculously, however, it seems that the goblins and their leader are still asleep. The sneeze simply elicited a snort of sorts from the sleeping hobgoblin.
“That was close./Lulu.” Both Lulu and I end up blurting stuff out loud before we can stop ourselves and wipe off cold sweat from our brows.
“Urgh, huh?!” The hobgoblin woke up from our whispering?! What the hell?! “You! So, the koala helped you get out huh?!”
Before Lulu and I can start running away the hobgoblin grabs us roughly at our necks and holds us up. Lulu and I punch and kick as much as we can at the monster but he doesn’t seem bothered by our thrashing one bit.
“I was planning on letting the goblins play with you for a good while before we kill and eat you, but seeing as you’re being so troublesome by almost escaping I should just kill you and your little friend now!”
I had to think of something, and fast! Otherwise Lulu and I are both going to die here and now! Then be eaten by these monsters!
Okay, okay. This hobgoblin probably thinks highly of himself right? He has pride in his skills as a warrior, probably?
I have no particular basis for this and I’m really just hoping to be right so with that thought I say what could possibly be my last words.
“Gurgh! Y-you chicken shit, a-afraid to fight me fair and square? I challenge you to a duel!”
The hobgoblin did not like being called a chicken shit. I know this because he instantly tightened his hold around my neck.
“Hoh? So the human thinks he can best me in mortal combat eh? Think I’m a chicken shit for not fighting fair and square? I beat you into the ground on my own before you dumbass! Or do you mean it wasn’t fair because you didn’t have your familiar to help you?” I nodded as much as I could in the position I was in.
“Fine then! I always love a good fight anyway!”
Lulu and I were thrown into the sectioned-off area, which appears to be an arena of some sort it would seem. Crude as it may be.
The ground here has been cleared of all grass and what remains is just mud.
All of the goblins were woken up and now are surrounding us on all sides of this arena, preventing any chance of escape. Lulu and I are facing off against the hobgoblin in the center.
I stand at the ready with my club having been returned to me and Lulu is standing right beside me.
The hobgoblin has taken the same boxing stance as before. I can’t let him dash forward again or this fight will end the same as before.
So I did the only thing I thought I could do at this time.
“Graaaahhh!” I ran straight for the hobgoblin.
I pulled back my club as far as I could and got ready to put all of my weight into the swing!
The hobgoblin didn’t even bother to dodge, he even took the time to just smirk at me. The damn bastard was looking down on me because my weapon heals on every attack! I bet he’s not worried because I’m only level one still anyway.
I’ll show him!
I hit the hobgoblin right in the face, the impact causes a loud sound to reverberate across the plains. The large stone tied to my club has shattered into dust.
The hobgoblin has a glazed look in his eyes, sways a bit from side to side and then falls on his back. Unconscious.
“Wooooo! I don’t know how or why, but I did it!” I raise my arms up in celebration.
I look around and all the goblins that were cheering up until now have gone silent as the grave.
They are looking at me with a sense of fear I guess? Makes sense really, I did knock their leader out in one hit. Even if he did allow the hit to land what I did must be nothing other than amazing and terrifying in their eyes.
I walk up to the hobgoblin and wake him up my slapping him in the face repeatedly. I have an idea.
This goblin tribe could be useful in the future. I need them to be loyal to me. And a surefire way to do that is to make the previous leader subservient to me.
“Gwah? What the hell happened?” The hobgoblin sits up in a daze and asks me that, his memory must be jumbled a bit from the hard hit to the head.
“You got really unlucky, hobgoblin. You met me. And now, swear loyalty to me or die!” I begin swinging wildly with my club just like the time with the moth monster and begin hitting him in various places on his body. I aimed for the throat, chest, arms, legs, face and so on repeatedly. Scoring dozens upon dozens of hits in a matter of minutes.
It must be because the stone is no longer tied to the club but I could clearly see the effect of healing taking place on the hobgoblin because despite the many hits and the damage he is receiving what is left is merely bruises, I hear no bones cracking no matter how hard I hit. And I can hit hard enough it seems. At least, now it seems I can hit hard enough for some strange reason.
Oh well, I won’t question it. Whatever works.
From the perspective of a certain goblin at the time, as the human kept beating on the lead hobgoblin only one thing kept going through his mind as he watched this scary scene.
That human looks as if he has horns all of a sudden. Considering how merciless and evil he is being right now he is most definitely like that one thing we heard about before from some humans. That one human story about a demon that punishes you in an eternal realm of fire and brimstone. The devil. This human really seemed like the devil from that story.
The goblin couldn’t help but tremble alongside the other goblins at the scene. There was nothing else they could do…