The annoying neighs of @horsehead were to my right, almost directly across from me. I ducked and used my battering ram of a pillow to rush toward the store at the end of the hallway, trying to get out of the ongoing pillow fight and the growing mass of people.

@horsehead cut me off.

She stood in front of me, feathers stuck to her sweaty face, her blond hair a wild mess flowing behind her, blood dripping from a cut on her lip. Her sports braw was visible beneath a loose-fitting dark brown v-neck t-shirt. The words "Wild Ride" were printed on the front in big white letters. I dare say she looked attractive. If she wasn't a little too into her horsey thing, I might find her cute.

Oh, and she was clearly evil. She had taken my gravity hammer and fondled me inappropriately. There was no redeeming her from that.

She lifted my hammer to her shoulder, holding it easily with one hand. She would carry it in its most lightweight setting and then toggle it to infuse the hammer with the force of gravity. That thing would shatter my face in a single blow.

She neighed again, a high-pitched cacophony, her face pointed to the sky in mimicry of a horse (of course). After her neigh, she squatted to all fours, shaking her butt like she was flicking flies with her tail. I laughed when I saw that she had actually fashioned a fake horse tail to the back of her black wide-leg jeans. Her hip gyrations sent the tail in circles behind her.

She stood again, taking a wide battle stance and licked the blood from her split lip.

"Care for a ride?"

I blushed thinking about it. "Can I pull your tail?"

She smiled wildly and pointed at me. "You better! That's an oral contract." She did a swirly thing with her tongue that made me uncomfortable.

"You bray like a donkey," I retorted, readying myself for battle.

That set her off. She smushed her eyes angrily at me. "I'm gonna hump your dead body so hard you'll reincarnate as a pussy."

I shook my head at her disapprovingly. "Seriously? What the fuck, @horsehead. We're having a pleasant little back and forth, and you have to get all nasty."

She bounced up and down with the gravity hammer, like she was humping a dead body, pushing her hips forward and back along the tip of the hammer.

I won't lie. She was utterly distracting. I almost turned around and reentered the pillow fight behind me, the laughter still echoing around us. It was either that or see how much fun I could have while she murdered me.

I shrugged. "I can't pull your tail if I'm dead."

"I can't hump your dead body if you're alive."

And that was it for the pleasantries. At least I could kill her. I could kill as many of the Thrusters as I liked with barely an afterthought. I had managed not to kill any of the Itokawans so far. The pillow fight was a huge help on that front, but I didn't need to hold back now. I couldn't or she'd turn my head into horse manure.

My brain quickly laid out two scenarios. Attack first or let her attack me first. Since I only had a pillow, I had to make every move count. In 69.1% of the scenarios, when I attacked first, @horsehead was able to position herself for a critical blow from the hammer. That was worse than the 54.7% of letting her attack me first. So I studied her posture and waited.

She decided to start with a forward thrust. That was wise. If she had raised the hammer high, I would have rushed her to close the distance. Either way, I needed to stay as close to her as possible, within the handle length of the hammer.

I should have seen that coming, I thought to myself, as soon as she jabbed the hammer forward.

I had been prepared to rush forward, my muscles tense, waiting for the first sign of attack. Since she attacked straight forward instead, I knew I didn't have the split second I would need to shift my muscles and dodge left or right. So, I did the most logical thing. I dodged up.

I jumped forward, using my hands to push the pillow down into the top of the thrusting hammer, timing it with the moment she triggered its gravity force. I hit the full weight of the hammer, using it as a springboard to fling me higher and farther forward. I needed to cover the distance as quickly as possible.

@horsehead made the hammer near weightless again and flung it up to smash me, but she was too late. I landed on top of her, my weight bringing both of us to the ground. She let go of the hammer, trying to brace herself, and I heard it zip by overhead and clank to the floor somewhere behind us.

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As we hit the floor, I pushed down to force her head to make solid impact, and I summersaulted, rolling forward with my pillow and back to my feet. She was stunned from the blow to the ground, and I used that to my advantage. I raised my pillow and pummeled her with repeated blows to the face.

I should have abandoned the pillow and gone straight for her throat.

She rolled away from me in a rapid series of spins, tugging at her pants. I watched closely, moving toward her, ready for the next round. I had the advantage this time. I had a pillow, and she had only her bare hands.

Or so I thought.

She sprang to her feet, and I saw that she had torn the tail off her pants, revealing that it wasn't just a horse tail. It was also her belt, and now she held it out, gripping the fluffy tail, lashing it back and forth as a very real and dangerous whip.

I needed reassurance, so I taunted her.

"Nice undies."

Tearing the belt off left her pants hanging low at her hips, exposing an adorable pair of underwear, white with pink kittens on them. The kittens had little smiles and big bright eyes.

She lashed me across the face with her whip, drawing blood.

"You should pay more attention."

The slash from her whip sunk in, yielding a sharp stinging sensation, followed by intense pain. My left cheek was on fire. My eyes teared up, but I was happy to realize I still had both my eyes.

"I thought you'd be flattered," I said.

"Not flattered. Excited!"

We circled each other. She wagged the whip back and forth, echoing the rhythm of her swaying body, poised to attack.

She launched the whip at me again, from an angle I wasn't expecting, but I have high dexterity, and I was able to block it with my pillow. Just like fighting against the hammer, my tactic for the whip was to close the distance to get inside the arc of its reach.

I rushed her.

She expected that. She kicked me solidly in the groin with one of her cowboy boots. Then she elbowed me in the back, forcing me to the ground, and in the same movement, she raised her whip and brought it down across my back, tearing through my hoodie and shirt. It could have been worse, but I could tell she drew blood again, as I groaned and struggle to get back up.

She hit me again, slicing viciously, the pain in my back like a knife cut from my shoulder to my hip. I closed my eyes and held fast as she hit me again, ripping through the hoodie. By the fourth fierce slash, I was feeling more numb than anything.

I rolled over, yelping as my back hit the ground, pillow raised in front of me.

She stopped, eying me closely, her bloody whip dangling at her side, ready to lash out at any moment.

I knew what I needed to do then. I unzipped my pants and pulled them down. "Giddy up!" I yelled.

One of two things was about to happen. She was either going to jump my bones or slice me in some very sensitive places with her whip. I braced myself.

Dust and feathers flew through the air as time stopped. Moments before death can do that to a person. I saw everything clearly.

@horsehead brought her whip back for another lash. She let out a feral scream that cut through the laughter of the pillow fight behind us. I heard the air whistle as the whip came toward me, a violent strike.

The whip cracked hard against the floor next to me, and the sound made me wince. But she had missed me. I breathed a sigh of relief.

Her scream became a flurry of cries, raw and unrestrained, as she pounced on me, bringing her hips over mine and digging her knees into my sides. She grabbed my shoulders firmly with her hands. My back was burning and bloodied, but I leaned into the moment with her, trying to ignore the pain. She bounced with me, staying locked at the hip.

I realized in that moment that this was the closest I had been to a woman in decades. Years of isolation in space sunk in. I wanted this moment with @horsehead, as odd as it seemed, as irrational as it seemed. And I wanted to know more about her, her favorite book, her favorite music, her favorite food. Maybe I even wanted to take her on a date.

But first I'd have to kill her.

As we pivoted from physical fighting to physical flirting, she made the mistake of looking me in the eyes.

Her fierce intensity softened. I saw her smile, a cute and pretty smile that she had been hiding behind years of Itokawan survival. The force of her body against me softened as well.

She giggled at me, a genuine little giggle, and bent down to kiss my lips.

I had the advantage now.

I head-butted her in the nose, stunning her. My pillow was at my side. She hadn't noticed me grip it tightly in my right hand as I waited for my opportunity to strike. I clumsily twisted, our bodies entangled, maneuvering until I found myself positioned above her.

She looked at me angrily. The violence came back to her, and she tried to pull me close.

I slid the pillow in between us, over her face, and pressed down with all my strength, smothering her. I held her down. She lurched with her body, trying to escape, but we were inseparably linked.

Feelings of sadness ran through me. I had killed many people. It was most of my job as a Wavepilot. Go blow things up. Don't worry about the people inside the spaceships. They'll be reanimated. Quick and painless death. Blow up a ship here and there, and it's just another day in the office.

Taking someone's life like this was different. I wanted to stroke her hair and tell her everything would be all right, that the world was a wonderful place full of love, laughter, and pillow fights. I wanted to bring her blankets when she was cold, make her tea when she wasn't feeling well.

Instead, I continued to choke the life out of her, my brain crying all the while.

I eased up when she went still, cautiously, to see if she was still conscious. She panted, her chest rising and falling as she heaved deep breathes of the dusty air in the corridor.

Maybe I don't have to kill her, I thought.

"I think I love you," she gasped, and then she tried to stab me in the side with a knife that she had tucked away somewhere.

I don't think you know what love is, I thought to myself, but I didn't say the words aloud. I flicked the knife away with my left hand. She had so little strength left that it was a wasted effort on her part.

I smiled down at her, a sincere smile.

She shrugged, or at least, I think she shrugged, the hint of a smile touching the corner of her mouth. She knew what was coming and accepted it. I had won.

"May you remember," I said, and then I finished snuffing the life out of her.