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Hellish: Misfit Misadventures
I Would Prefer Not To Die

I Would Prefer Not To Die

The two queens guard that usually kept the royal family safe were now shoving me into my room like a common prisoner, per my mother’s orders. The door slammed behind me, shaking the shelves on the walls, knocking off one of my favorite books. I ran to it, lovingly caressing the spine, and replaced it carefully where it was meant to go. What on earth had happened today to get me here? I went along with that dumbass as a prank, thinking that when he took me to see my mother, it would all be a glorious joke, that she would laugh, I would laugh, and then we would kick him out, never to see him again. His claims had to be baseless – I’m not a demon, I’m the princess!

But the strange events that had gone down could not be ignored, nor could I pretend my mother hadn’t said those words. When that gruesome, fiery face had appeared, it shocked me. I knew we had a treaty with the Demon King, but I didn’t know much of the details. I just knew we had a peace between our two realms, and that the Hunter’s Guild took care of the stragglers that threatened our Queendom. But it seemed that there was more to it than I knew. First of all, this was the first I’d heard of having a brother. And… there was more to this than I wanted to acknowledge. Was I simply a hostage in this war? Was I part of a hostage trade, too? Did that mean… I did not want to think of the implications of what that meant.

There was too much that I had to decipher through, and I couldn’t afford to do that right now. If the demon messenger was right, then that meant the treaty was no longer in action. It meant that war could erupt between our two peoples, and that would bode well for no one. My mother – or whatever she may be to me – had said so herself that she is prepared for war if the Demon King hurt her son. I had to get to the bottom of this, ensure peace, and find out who exactly I was.

But I couldn’t ignore the most terrifying words the Queen had said, just before I’d been removed from the throne room. She said she would kill me. Her words were cold, like ice, sharp and cutting. Would she really do that? The woman who had raised me as her daughter, allowed me to pursue my interests, granted me freedoms to roam the city, would kill me? Would she really have no qualms about snuffing out a life she had tended to?

I didn’t intend on sticking around to find out. If my life was in danger, then I had to leave. And if humankind was in danger, then I had to go to the source. The Demon King could be reasoned with, right? He’d been reasoned with before. We had struck a deal long ago, apparently, when the treaty had been agreed upon. If I could escape, find the Demon King, and speak with him, then maybe I could salvage what was left of my life. Maybe he would be able to tell me what was really going on.

I looked around the familiar room, the same four walls I’d been living within all my life. It now felt like a prison instead of the sanctuary it had always been. I had to get out of here, and fast. I didn’t know where I would go from there, but I had to take one step at a time. I hoped I would be able to figure the next part out once I got there. For now, I had to plan my escape. My eyes lit upon the window outside. Obviously, I couldn’t go out the door – for one, it was locked, and two, there were guards out there who would be able to easily physically overpower me. I scrunched my face in thought, ruffling my hair.

The window was several stories up, as my room was in one of the many towers we had in the castle. This tower was the royal wing, with the more important you were, the higher up in the tower your room was. Since I was a princess, it was pretty high, but the Queen and King Consort’s chambers were two stories above me. Below me were the ladies in waiting’s quarters, and below that, servants. If I could get out of my window and down a floor, I could probably escape from there. There was no reason for the guards to keep watch on anyone else’s rooms; just mine.

But how would I get down? It wasn’t as if the tower was built for scaling – it was designed for the opposite. I walked over to the window, a breeze of fresh air fluttering the sheer curtains around it. I’d looked out of this window time and time again, but never would I have considered climbing out of it before. The balmy weather beckoned me, the rays of the sun shining lazily through, warming my toes. The window was taller than I was, although most things were, and the stone walls were thick enough that I could easily stand on the ledge and take a step or two. Gritting my teeth, I hopped up onto the ledge and swung my legs over to the side to take a peek of what lay beyond.

There was a balcony below that should belong to the ladies in waiting. It was empty as far as I could see it. If I could get down there, then I could enter those quarters, and then navigate from there out of the castle. I doubted I could jump down without hurting myself, but I could probably dangle from the ledge to reach another handhold, a decorative window below that looked out onto the balcony. The window had an edging all around it, thick and promising salvation.

My legs swayed back and forth, the backs of my calves smacking against sun-warmed stone. I didn’t fear heights so much as I feared the fall. This jump of faith was going to take a lot of courage. I couldn’t wait for my fear to overcome me.

I twisted around, kneeling on the ledge, facing inwards to my window. One leg down, reaching, reaching, unable to touch just yet. Then the other leg, my torso bent over my window ledge as I gripped the inside ledge with white knuckled fingers. Slowly, I inched further and further over the side, knowing that if I fell onto the balcony below, I would be seriously hurt. But hopefully alive. I felt the breeze caress my calves and feet as they swayed in the wind, aching to touch that window below me.

Then, my toes grazed the edge. I inched further, my muscles straining to hold on. My toes were barely on the next window’s ledge. If I could jump down from here, I should be okay. But the balcony didn’t extend very far outwards – if I jumped straight down, I should be alright, but if not? I didn’t want to think about it.

I jumped.

My feet slammed into the stone balcony, jarring the impact through my shins, knees, and thighs. I stumbled, and fell onto my behind, rather ungracefully. Looking up, I saw through the balcony door that the room was occupied!

Quickly, I hid against the wall, facing outwards to the balcony, just below the window I’d stepped onto. I waited, breathless, for one of the ladies in waiting to come out and notice me and bring me back to the Queen. I held my breath for too long, but nobody came out to investigate the noise I’d made jumping down here. I must not have made too much noise to come through the conversation they were having.

I waited a minute longer just to be sure. But I had to get going now, and it didn’t look like I’d be able to leave the balcony through the door to their quarters. I took a deep breath, wondering what to do next. Below me should be the servant’s quarters, and I knew they didn’t have a balcony to look out from. If I had to, I would just barrel through them, and run through the castle if someone was in there. But how would I get down there to begin with?

I would have to climb down from the balcony. The servant’s quarters were on the main floor, I knew, as they had to be in a central location for ease of movement about the castle. I tried to remember if there was a window I could crawl into. I wasn’t sure if there was, and I cursed myself for not knowing. I crawled towards the edge of the balcony, hoping I could see below it to find out. I peeked over the edge, noticing that indeed, there was a window.

This would be worse than the first drop from my room, as I had to somehow swing myself into the servant’s quarters. I had no opportunity to wait outside on the balcony, and if there was someone in there, I had to be ready to run. I took a deep breath, steeling my convictions and preparing myself for the worst. Either I died here, leaping off of the balcony, or I died at the hands of the woman who had raised me. I had to try.

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I stood up, careful to not reveal myself through the balcony’s window, and stepped over the ledge, holding onto the railing. I was standing entirely outside of the railing, my feet balancing in between the spindles. I bent down, kneeling and securing my hands on the spindles, lowering myself down so I was hanging from the balcony. Sweat dripped down my arms, making my grip more difficult. I didn’t have much time to do this. Hanging from the edge, I swung myself, heartbeat increasing until it felt like it would pulse right out of my chest. Finally, on the inward swing, I let go, catapulting myself directly into the servant’s quarters.

I fell, unceremoniously, onto the stone floor, banging my knee on the windowsill and landing face first onto the ground. I looked up to a room filled with shocked scullery maids, sitting at a table and playing cards. Carefully, I stood up, brushed the dirt from my clothes, gave them a brisk nod, and walked purposefully towards the door, ignoring my screaming knee.

I shut the door behind me and walked into an empty hallway. The panic rose in me – what would I do now? Where would I go? Would I be a fugitive for the rest of my life? How on earth would I ever get to the Demon King? He lived in the demonic realm, and I had no idea where the portals were.

Then I realized, I knew someone that might.

The hallway was still clear, so I briskly walked in the direction of the dungeons. There were only two entrances that I knew of: one from the throne room, and the other just off of this hallway. Rather convenient, I thought, but it made sense that the guards and servants had easy access. I headed there now, my feet tapping on the stone floors and echoing throughout the hall. I hoped I wouldn’t encounter anyone on my way there. As I walked, I began to plan.

Running into not a single soul, I was finally met with the door to the dungeons. The heavy door was nondescript, just like the other functional doors in this section of the castle, but I knew where it led. I knocked, knowing it would be locked and guarded. I swallowed hard, unsure if my plan would work. I knew I had to try; if I tried to escape now with no help, I wasn’t going to be getting very far. I needed the Demon Hunter.

A slit opened in the dungeon door, one invisible from the outside until opened. Two eyes stared back at me through it.

“Princess?”

I nodded. “I have a royal decree to deliver. May I enter?”

The slit shut without an answer, and I stood there awkwardly. I didn’t usually have cause to visit the dungeon; was this standard operating procedure? Or were they sending word to my mother now?

Chains rattled, and the door opened to let me in. It revealed a small landing area, then a staircase that descended into barely lit darkness, flickering torches leading the way into the depths of the castle.

“Down the stairs, your highness, and you can speak with the head dungeon master.”

“Thank you, good sir,” I said. “I’ll be sure to commend you to your superiors.”

The man grinned at me pleasantly, revealing two missing front teeth. He ushered me forward and sat back down on his chair at his post, a wooden number that creaked as he slid back into it.

Reluctantly, I took my first step down the stairs. The stone was wet, somehow, and every step I took felt colder and colder as I descended into the ground. The stairs kept going and going, twisting a turning several floors down. Finally, I reached the main area. It was a rectangle, the walls edged with cells. Off to the left sat a desk with a man at it who appeared to be napping with his head resting on his hands.

I cleared my throat.

The man startled and straightened up to attention.

“Your highness!” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”

“Sir, the Queen has requested that the prisoner be released?” I said. I cleared my throat again, knowing that if you seemed confident, nobody would question you. Especially if you’re a princess.

“But milady… she just sent him down here. Not to question your decree, but…?”

“There’s been a mistake,” I insisted. “Not your fault the bureaucrats get things wrong. Don’t worry about it, I’ll take care of it. Release him into my custody, and I’ll make sure the Queen hears about your stellar performance.”

“Oh?”

“Perhaps even a raise could be in it for you,” I said. “Unless I tell her about your sleeping on the job.”

“Your highness, merciful lady, there’s no reason to do that…” he said hurriedly, already rustling for the keys in his pocket. “I’ll take care of this right away!”

He practically jumped up to the nearest cell. I held my breath, unwilling to believe this was going to be so easy. I stood there next to the desk, awkwardly waiting and shuffling my feet.

“Here he is!” the man said, presenting in front of him the Demon Hunter, markedly dirtier and more disgruntled than before. “Tell the Queen I’ve done well!”

“I will, good sir,” I said, holding out my arm for the Demon Hunter to take. “Come with me, now.” I nodded at the Hunter, who looked dubiously at me. I tried to silently insist he come with me and play along, tightening my lips and widening my eyes slightly. He took the hint and my arm, the handcuff he had captured me with still hanging from his wrist.

I waved goodbye to the warden with my spare hand, and we made our journey up the stairs out of the dungeon, back to the servant’s hall entrance. The stairs curved out of sight of the holding area, the Hunter’s grip on my arm too tight for comfort. As soon as we were out of hearing distance, I turned to him on the stairwell.

“Alright, now listen up,” I whispered, hissing in the darkness. “We are getting out of this castle, and you’re going to help me.”

“Why?” he asked plainly.

I blinked. “The fuck do you mean, why? I’m saving your life.”

“I mean, why save my life? I’m not worth anything,” he said.

I sighed. This was going to be more difficult than I thought. “Look. We get out of here, you get me to see the Demon King, and I’ll grant you a royal wish, or whatever. Deal?” I watched him carefully as best as I could in the dim light of the torches.

He paused, looking at me just as carefully before responding. “Okay. Let’s get out of here.”

“Fuckin’ great, let’s go,” I said.

I picked up the pace, hurrying up the stairs. I waved at the doorman, who waved back from his station in the corner, still seated in his creaky wooden chair, and opened the door into the hallway.

It was still empty, thankfully, and after a quick though, I realized we would probably have to escape through the kitchens. There was an exit to the back courtyard through there, as that’s where some of the castle chickens were kept. If we could get through the kitchens, then we should be able to skirt around the castle’s defenses and leave through the main gates. Especially if we could snag servant clothing to disguise ourselves, we should be easily enough on our way into the city. Though I was permitted to leave the castle usually, I often escaped this way if I didn’t want to have guards follow me on my outings. I knew we didn’t have much time before it was obvious that I was gone, along with the Demon Hunter.

“Come on,” I said, leading him towards the kitchens. There was an entrance along this hallway, as this whole wing was connected to such places. Along the way, we could sneak into a room and grab some clothing as a disguise. The Hunter was too dirty from the dungeons to escape suspicion, and I was wearing too royal of clothing, even though it wasn’t the finest of royal wear. I gulped. I just hoped this would work.