*Shriek!*

Screams were everywhere. The sound of collapsing buildings penetrated the sewers, vibrated through the very core of my organs. Growling, pulsating, the urge to vomit consumed my perception. But I could not let the content in my stomach out, else the Hounds would trace it.

My heart throbbed for each footstep of those monsters marched by. Cowering in a foul corner of a sewer filled with the tainted sense of blood, shredded flesh, disfigured body parts… My mind gradually entered the realm of insanity.

The usually inaudible squeaks of rats and insects became rowdier than ever as they feasted upon rotten chunks of meat. It looked like they were having a party. When hungry, rodents often hunted bugs to satiate their starvation. But the food supplies had grown beyond abundance. The two previous natural enemies now seemed more similar to sanitary workers than foes.

Some of them mistook me for a carcass. They crawled up to my trousers, attempted to eat through them. Their fangs bore contaminated saliva. It needed but one bite to kill me during these times, where I could barely surface, yet I showed no sign of resistance.

One rat drew near - a fat one. Its fur was covered with a distinctive iron smell, nothing strange. All creatures under this sewage system were all painted with red, more or less, that also included me. My clothes, skin, hair… they all reeked of this iron odor. The rat tried to scratch apart my apparel, but the leather proved too sturdy for its claws. However, after a while of wandering about, it had found my unprotected wrist.

I remained to gaze at it, but refused to fence for my safety as if I was asking for it. The rat crept closer and closer. Finally, it stood right next to my flesh.

"Just do it."

"Help me escape this reality."

It sniffed my fingers, wobbled back and forth to ensure I was safe to eat. I could even feel its breath gently caressing the epidermis. Time somehow moved slower. Perhaps it was the famous moment people experienced before certain death. The rat opened its mouth, two front teeth were prominent even in this darkness. Its upper jaw was about to drop.

A harsh thud, loud enough to chase away the nearby neighbors. I swung my hand horizontally with full force, sent the rat flying against the wall; a rebellious mechanic of my survival instinct. That must have hurt it badly based on how fast it fled the scene.

"Why? Why did I do it?"

That small act had prolonged my agony. It all could have just ended there. I wanted to die, yet my body refused to. And that might not be the will to live, but cowardice. I was afraid of death. Shrinking myself to a shape of a ball, shivering nonstop, my head was going blank, and I started questioning my existence.

Should I go out there? What was stopping me from concluding this endless suffering? Or I could lie here and die from potential infection. Those were the easier ways. I picked up a piece of broken bones nearby, staring at my wrist menacingly.

"If I'm that much of a coward, might as well have a painless death."

The whispers inside my head kept getting louder and closer, telling me to do it, to slice it, a minor cut that would spell the end of all misery. But any time I was clouded with these thoughts, her voice echoed, like an anchor, pulling me out of the abyss of despair.

"Please… Live…"

The piece of bone fell off my hand. Tears flowed down my cheeks at the moment I heard that voice. It was both a blessing and a curse. Those words saved me from the depth of suicide, yet also prevented my ever-desired rest in this turmoil.

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"If only she didn't say it… If only I never heard it…"

With a frail, shaky throat, I whispered the wishes for convenient outcomes. Ever since the apocalypse was bestowed upon humanity, there was not a day I didn't regret hearing those words.

Dwelling in sewers like a rat, or even lesser, scavenging for meat regardless of its origin, preying on insects and rodents, drinking my urine more frequently than water, and doing countless disgusting deeds while trembling in terror of not knowing when I'd die.

Why did I have to do all of that? Just because she said it? Why? Why? Why?

I picked up the bone shard again. This time aiming for my neck artery. I closed my eyes, asserted all the remaining determination just for this final blow. Still, my hands were quivering.

From 5 centimeters to 3 centimeters, then 1, then none. The shard was pinned against my skin. Only one more move, straight down, to cease all of this pain. I could feel the warm droplets of blood slowly running down my neck as I gently pierced it.

"Mom… Sis… Father… My friends, I'll join you soon."

The moment I was about to finish it, a vision appeared. Two hands, glowing with cordial light, reached out to embrace my face. I couldn't see who it was, but she held me with all the love in this world. No, maybe I actually knew whose hands they were, but just refused to acknowledge it due to shame.

The bone shard fell off once again. I hugged my head and cried until the tears ran out. I began contemplating my actions.

What was I doing? Why did I want to do it? It didn't really matter now. Her last words were to beg me to live, yet for a second there, I almost threw it all away just for self-convenience. I failed to protect anyone, so if I continued to disappoint them, I wouldn't be able to face those people when the time came. I looked at the bone for a while, then kicked it away with full force, stopping the evil thoughts from possessing my mind.

Normally, I'd have stayed for a little longer for time to heal my sorrows, but fresh blood has been spilled, and the Hounds could smell it if they were nearby. I stood up, bending my head and back forward to fit this cramped channel, and walked carefully and quietly.

"If I killed myself, they would never forgive me. The people died in my stead, their deaths are on my shoulder, I cannot give up that easily."

The mantra which I kept on repeating to myself anytime I recovered from a panic attack. It gave me motivation and pushed away the negative thoughts. Though I’d said it many times, but today was different, an unprecedented incidence occurred. Her visage had come to aid me. It could be a delusional product of my unstable condition, but the love I felt was real. Hence, I knew I was not alone.

At the end of my path laid a river. I kneeled one leg down behind the steel net covering the entrance of this sewer, observing the rubble beyond; the city I once called home, now had been colored with blood and filled with cries.

There was no more sunlight. The entire planet had been cursed with forever darkness. The once bright blue sky now stained with disgusting mustard clouds. The only source of shine left was the smoldering flames and lava streams that ran across this land.

I could see shadows of numerous demons levitating above the ground, striking terror into every living organism. Those beasts had depleted humans, so they were murdering each other for food. Occasionally, I would rest here, like a front-row seat in a premium opera house, to indulge their painful slaughter. I used to detest the abhorrence of cannibalism, but doing it in the present circumstance would be hypocritical, as I had degraded to the same rank. The agonizing squeals of these vile creatures were music to my ears.

This land had plummeted to the most primitive civilization, where the strong hunted the weak, and the lesser would hide and loot whatever remained of the battle. I belonged to the latter category.

While watching the hellish spectacle unfold, my old memories emerged subconsciously. The tragic demise of every person I cherished. They were all good people, hard-working, talented, and affectionate individuals. They did not deserve such a gruesome end.

My eyes started to heat up, but there were no tears left. Instead, rage took place. The temperature of my whole body rose, the unbearable heat enveloped all the facial areas. Eventually, it engulfed my vision.

I repeated a different mantra, one I would speak to self-motivate whenever the hunt was about to commence. Though many times it was merely brief runs on the surface for medical supplies or freshwater. But now, things had changed. I locked my eyes on those flying shadows and those in the water and on the ground. This time, the target was them. And when everything concluded, I shall join the rank of predators.

"I will not die. I will struggle. I will scavenge. I will wrestle. I will do everything. I will survive!"

Maybe someday I would join my loved ones, but not today. Because today I would fight and live, so I could hold my head high and greet them with a smile, saying that I had tried my best. I would make them proud. Their deaths were not wasted on me.

"Today, I'm determined to let the boy die.”