A guy’s down on his knees, whispering prayers to the unseen. Life, he knows, is no cakewalk, but his journey’s been a rugged one, harsher than most folks endure. He’s wishing hard for a break in the relentless storm of pain and second thoughts clouding his thoughts.

“Why’s all this craziness landing on me?” he blurted, his voice edged with frustration. “Really, why me?” His hands clenched tighter, the heat of life’s relentless chaos washing over him.

“God’s not hung up on words, Cliff.” A voice surfaced. “It’s the heart behind them that matters!”

Beside Cliff stood an eye-catching woman, her skin sun-kissed, with sharp horns subtly emerging from the sides of her head. She was decked out in black jeans and a Cannibal Corpse tee, which coordinated perfectly with the tree wire tattoo dancing along her arm.

Cliff didn’t even blink; he was over it all. “I hit my knees to pray, and who turns up? A demon, of course,” he quipped, his words dripping with sarcasm.

“Not just any demon, Cliff, the devil herself!” She unleashed a laugh, edged with wicked amusement.

“Fantastic, so just gobble me up and end this misery,” Cliff tossed back.

“Whoa, I’m not into that! I may have a bad rep, but I’m actually pretty chill, this look is just for meeting expectations. You should see the other guy,” the devil retorted.

“The other guy, you mean God?”

“Yeah, him. He comes off as a total dork when he decides to show up, which is like, never. I’m way more hands-on with people.”

“Uh huh.” Cliff wasn’t finding any amusement in this irksome girl. “What do you want?”

“To strike a deal, obviously,” she responded. “Nothing major, you just have to chill with me for a bit when you kick the bucket, but it could sort out your misery today.”

“Lady, if you can end this misery today, I’ll be whatever you need me to be,” Cliff blurted in desperation. A gust of wind invaded the room, and the window swung open.

“What was that?” Cliff inquired.

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“Oh, it’s nothing. Don’t sweat it. And call me Lucy,” she tossed back with a sly smirk. “Stay out of this, old man,” Lucy muttered under her breath.

Lucy whipped out a contract from her back pocket. It promised instant relief followed by a lifetime chained to her whims and desires. “Just scribble your signature here, and I’ll patch you right up!”

“Alright…” Cliff muttered, his voice laden with despair. “Got a pen?”

“Nope! Gotta use your own, go find one,” she prodded Cliff. He left the room, scavenging for a pen, and she seized the moment to poke her head outside the window and shout at the sky.

“Your ways are sluggish and full of pain!” she screamed upward. “I’m here aiding these folks, swapping relief for their loyalty, and serving up real results, so stay the heck outta my affairs!”

The sky responded with a crash of thunder.

“Yeah, whatever,” Lucy muttered, returning to the center of Cliff’s room. “Find that pen?” she raised her voice so Cliff, rummaging in another room, could hear her. “Would a pencil do?” came the reply. “No! Needs to be a pen!” she hollered back. “This guy…” she murmured under her breath.

Rain started to drizzle outside. Lucy was just about to move to shut the window when Cliff stepped back into the room.

“Okay, got a pen,” Cliff declared.

“Awesome, let’s get this signed and sort out your mess!” Lucy exclaimed.

Cliff’s pen was just about to make contact with the paper when a bolt of thunder tore through the room and sent Lucy crashing against the wall. “Son of a—!” she spat out.

“You alright?” Cliff exclaimed, stunned by the sudden incident.

“Never better,” Lucy retorted, trying to pull herself together. “Just sign the darn paper, it’s right there!” The contract had landed squarely in front of Cliff, unscathed by the thunderbolt.

“Wait, is this God trying to give me a heads up?” Cliff mused aloud.

“No! Don’t be ridiculous, it’s just Mother Nature throwing a tantrum ‘cause I can still rock skinny jeans,” Lucy said, attempting to keep the atmosphere breezy. “This is what you’ve been praying for, but I’m gonna hand it to you in writing, unlike the other guy; he makes you grind for it.” She uttered, clutching her ribcage, wincing from the pain the thunderbolt had delivered.

“Can I sleep on it and get back to you tomorrow?” Cliff hesitated, second thoughts creeping in about the deal.

“NO! This is a now-or-never kinda deal, I get one shot; those are the rules!” Lucy declared. “You can have your happiness now! Don’t delay what you can do today.” Another thunderclap resonated outside; the window remained ajar. “Would ya close that darn window, kid?”

Cliff ambled to the window as asked, his gaze falling on the sudden tempest brewing outside. Observing the storm brought him a semblance of peace; he interpreted it as a sign from God. His life might be turbulent, but it would eventually find its calm, and he’d rather weather it in good faith than owe his soul to the Devil.

“I’m gonna need you to leave,” Cliff stated as he shut the window.

“You’re joking, right? We’re just getting warmed up here, kiddo!” Lucy retorted, attempting to maintain her composure despite the lingering agony from the thunderbolt.

“Nope, not joking. I’m not signing anything; the deal’s off,” Cliff responded, craving his solitude once more.

“I’ll suck your dick.” Lucy said, her tone tinged with desperation to seal the deal. “I’ll suck it dry, Cliff, right here,” she emphasized, pointing to her mouth, her long serpent-like tongue extending.

“Get out of here!” Cliff retorted, holding firm to his faith.

Lucy let out a prolonged sigh. “It would’ve been quite the experience, Cliff… enjoy the struggle.”

A resounding clap of thunder echoed outside, and just like that, Lucy was gone.

Cliff dropped back down to his knees, hands clenched together, and resumed, “So as I was saying… Why’s all this craziness falling on me?”

A hefty thud struck the window; hail began to patter down.