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1
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"I want at least lolis there! That is the bare minimum!" Karl Gulden slammed his palm into a table in front of him, staring at an unblinking tall man with black hair and in a black suit that sat in front of him. When he had found out that he was able to choose his next reincarnation, he had tried to be a saint, a powerful wizard, an emperor, a famous porn actor, an angel, a demon king, an elvish pop star and many more, but all the positions had been unavailable for various reasons. He had heavily underestimated the competition and started glaring about for any other reincarnators that might pass by and snatch his position.
There was so much competition it was unreasonable! He was getting truly desperate and what had seemed to be a golden opportunity was gradually turning into a nightmare where he would be forced into an even more pathetic role than he had on Earth, as impossible as it seemed when he appeared in the strange place between the worlds.
"Your personal preference cannot be guaranteed. Please, refrain from further acts of violence or your reincarnation will be canceled." The suit informed him in a bland tone.
"You have . . " Karl almost shouted, but suddenly lowered his voice and put his hand back on his lap sheepishly when he fully realized that the clerk was losing patience with him.
"You have already denied almost all of my requests. If there is still some fantasy setting where I get to have unusual powers, I would prefer it to another mundane life." He continued in a much more amicable way, in fact, he stooped so low as to gaze at the clerk with puppy eyes full of desperation, not that he would admit it if anyone pointed it out.
"There is an option fitting your parameters." The clerk pushed his glasses back into place with his forefinger and that was all he did. Karl still felt strange when he saw the clerk doing his work without using no apparent device or a screen. However, the statement filled him with hope and a faint smile appeared on his face.
"They are quite high tech here in heaven or whatever bloody hole this is." Karl thought when he observed the motionless clerk. There was no touchpad or keyboard, the heaven's employee was doing it all with his mind. The rest of their environment looked like a bank, because they presumably wanted to evoke a feeling of security in the passing souls. There did not seem to be any other customers except of him, maybe as a precaution if he wanted to strangle them to death, in case the institute of death even worked at the place.
"Are you familiar with the concept of a dungeon?" The clerk asked and corrected his suit after a long time of searching in his database, as if readying for the next customer.
"Yeah, pretty much. If I get some unusual powers on top, it will be fine with me." Karl smiled, it might be a little bit messy with all the trap building and tunneling, but he would certainly end up at the top if they sparkled his existence a little bit with special powers. Wealth, women and glory were waiting for him. There would certainly be a little issue with his new identity, but anything could be solved in some way with enough power and wealth. He knew the drill, in time he would surely be able to incarnate into some body and so on and so forth.
"It will be as you say, unusual. Your reincarnation is set." The person in a black suit nodded and after a while of doing whatever he did with his eyes unfocused, he smiled and said to Karl his last sentence.
"Good luck." And with that, Karl's body dematerialized.
Was it just a mirage or had he seen a hint of an evil smirk in the clerk's eyes? It must have been his imagination.
* * * *
Karl's consciousness slowly gathered into one place, a black gem that threatened to swallow the soul of anyone who stared at it for too long. An intense point of light immediately caught his attention and when he focused on it, he immediately recognized a local star. He decided to still call it the Sun because there should not be anything different about a huge ball of gas even if this world was not his unusualy mundane Earth. Strangely, he could look into the Sun without his eyes going blind and when he tore his attention away, he found out that the whole surface of the black gem served as his eyes.
"This is a strange position." He saw a large patch of brown cloth that moved back and forth and obscured the vision on his right side. When he looked at the other side, he saw a lineup of people that seemed to be standing around him.
"They have already rounded me up! This is unfair!" Panic gripped him. As a dungeon core, he was vulnerable and could not afford to be out in the open.
"You liar! I want a refund! How am I supposed to beat them?!" He shouted, but the people had not reacted to his voice. He realized that he had not the ability to speak.
"Hmph, Jin Feng, you are forcing my hand. If you don't stop this foolishness, I will be forced to draw my blade." A voice stated clearly with an audible snort.
"Wu Gunk, you are the one who is testing fate. I might end up being impolite if you do not change your tone!" A condescending voice that was awfully close to Karl answered and for a while almost all of Karl's vision had been obstructed with what he had been able to identify as a sleeve that was in his opinion unnecessarily blown out of proportions, fluttering all around him as if someone was interested in all that flapping.
"Tarnishing the noble family name of elder Gon, you are courting death Jin Feng!" Karl heard a steely sound, but did not see much because the sleeve was still flickering everywhere in front of his eyes. Despite his limited visual ability, a dread started creeping into his very soul.
"Something is wrong! Damn, so wrong!" He had not even finished his evaluation of the scene, a pitiful outcry that no one heard anyway, before all his being spun in a twirling motion.
"Damn, stop that! Dungeon cores are not supposed to move around!" Karl tried to get his faculties together again after the sudden movement. It seemed that his new identity was not very fond of movement which was only logical.
"Wu Gon, my Thundering God's Black Blade will teach you a lesson!" Karl heard a voice from behind and for the first time, he was both able to view everything around him and be still for a while to actually be able to perceive it.
"That trash is not worth even a single coin, die Jin Feng." Aside from all the people who stood in a circle around him, a man that could not be described in any other way than beautiful, dressed in emerald green robe, began twirling his podao ready to attack Karl.
"Wait bro, I did not do anything!" Karl only at this point fully accepted that his dungeon core that had the shape of a black gem was embedded in a cross guard of the Thundering God's Black Blade that Jin Feng held in his hand, the second man to the dueling pair that was encircled by people holding all kinds of melee weapons, with stoic expressions on their faces. An intense feeling of cruel betrayal began boiling inside Karl.
"I knew it the moment I saw the environment of a bank! They act respectable, but that is not at all the full story!" He wanted to close his eyes before the impact came, but was unable to figure out how.
"Hmph," Another cold harrumph, this time deeper and somehow imbued with more weight sounded across the stone platform where the duel was about to take place and everyone stopped like frozen in ice.
"It is Elder Gon!" Numerous whispers sounded around them and the strike that was about to hit Karl's blade never came. The imposing Elder himself was nowhere to be seen, but no one seemed to be bothered by that little detail.
"I am sorry, grandfather." Wu Gon clasped his hands together and bowed slightly in a direction that did not make sense at all and followed his action by slamming the butt of the podao against the ground.
"Esteemed Elder Gon is right, you would surely badmouth me if I bested you with my superior weapon. Scrap that trash of yours that holds no soul power and pick a new weapon. Gon family will pay it in full." The narcissistic man in green pajamas said with his chin lifted high, Karl had no idea how he was able to deduce the meaning of Elder Gon's message. Had the guy a headset hidden in his overly long green hair?
"Wait, scrap? Scrap?!" Karld panicked immediately, when he remembered that particular word.
"I will not accept any gifts from you Wu Gon, you will see that my talent can breach the difference in our weapons." Jin Feng, his bearer, retorted arrogantly.
"Very well, I will bury the fake toothpick of a weapon together with your body." Wu Gon responded and Karl imagined himself stuck in a coffin.
"No, no, no this cannot fly! Do I have some attributes? Character sheet? Status screen?" Luckily, one of the words worked and he saw a short neat text in front of him.
Karl Gulden
Level 1 Dungeon Core
Mana Regeneration - 10/s
Spells- [Dig]
Summons- [Skeleton(Death) 5/s]
[Experience 0/100]
Before he could think of anything else, a motion followed by an intense vibration disrupted his focus, reminding him again that dungeon cores were really not supposed to move. He felt like when he visited an amusement park while drunk and had the genius idea to enter one of the scariest looking contraptions there.
"Can a dungeon core vomit?" It was the most coherent idea he had managed to produce during the movement of the two combatants. However, he knew that he had to do something to prevent himself from being scrapped or buried in a grave of some arrogant young master, because something was telling him that his wielder was not particularly honest about his talent.
When he regained his faculties again, the tip of the sword he was embedded in was stuck in the dirt, its wielder was using it to prevent himself from falling down while coughing out blood onto the floor of the stone platform.
Honestly, Karl did not know why, because he looked completely uninjured.
"If that is the extent of your talent, you should not have been even admitted into the sect!" Wu Gon continued to gloat, when Karl decided to use his summoning ability.
Out of the blue, a thick cloud of black smoke burst out of the black gem of the Thundering God's Black Blade that housed his awareness and formed into two humanoid shapes. The shapes further solidified until there stood two skeletons with cold blue fire burning inside their empty eye sockets and rusty swords in their hands.
Everyone gaped in surprise the moment the two unexpected participants of the fight appeared.
"Jin Feng!" The voice form before that had to belong to Elder Gon thundered again in anger and Karl's wielder clearly jolted. A figure of an old man with long white hair and beard suddenly flickered into existence near Karl and drew a sword that shone with brilliant blue-white light. In a single strike that reminded him of a dance, he destroyed both his skeletons in one fluid motion. After his motion stopped, the elder gazed at the trembling Jin Feng for a while.
Well, the movement in Karl's vision looked like just two frames of a badly recorded video, the beginning and the end.
"Where did you get a cursed sword? It could not be produced in our Thunder God Sect!" The elder asked, but in response he received only confused stuttering of the accused. He flickered his long sleeves before he folded his hands behind his back and then turned at Wu Gon while folding his hands behind his back . . again.
"Wait, b-but he just. .. .ah, afterimages." The dungeon core tried to shake its head with trepidation.
"I do not know what happened Elder, it should be a cheap replica!" Jin Feng kept banging his head against the stone in an attempt to dodge all the blame.
The pleas stretched for a good minute. Karl did not know if the elder enjoyed them or just did not know what to do and needed to mask his confusion with a long pause.
"Find out its origin." The elder finally said while looking away into the countryside from the high stone platform.
"Yes master!" The addressed disciple bowed swiftly and grabbed Jin Feng by his shoulder, dragging him along without even knowing where to go.
The important part was that Karl was dragged along as well, away from the scary elderly pensioner that did not bother to adhere to the laws of physics, or common sense.
However, his happiness was short lived.
"Wait, am I going with them?" Karl looked at his faithful companion Jin Feng that seemed to be leaving him stuck in the ground next to the Elder that wrapped his finger carefully around the hilt of the sword he was a part of.
Then, the elder made a step and all the world turned around Karl, his trouble with motion doing him no good added on top of the elder's extraordinary movement abilities. When he finally regained his senses, he seemed to be locked in a room full of other weapons, many of which had strange shapes and glows that seemed really unhealthy.
"Fine, fine, some puny secret vault or something yeah? Just you wait. Diggy, diggy, hole!!" Karl shouted, because no one could hear him anyway, so why not. He selected his dungeon ability called Dig and tried to use it at the floor. Immediately, a red text flashed in front of his eyes.
WARNING! BUILDING A DUNGEON IN THIS WORLD HAS A HIGH CHANCE TO TRIGGER A HEAVENLY TRIBULATION!
"What?!?" Karl stared at the warning, but was too unused to his new body and powers to be able to stop his intent.
Crunch, crunch.
A small piece of the wall next to him had been dug out
WARNING! HEAVENLY TRIBULATION COMMENCING!
"No, wait! It was a missclick, no missthought! Do not kill me Heavens, I do not want to defy anything!" His unheard excuses were futile as storm clouds began to gather above the building and churn with heavenly wrath, a web of lightning starting to appear in its midst.
"This reincarnation was a total fiasco." Karl wanted to sigh, already giving up all hope.
The clouds churned and rumbled some more, brightening the sky with passing lightning. Through a small window he saw the play of blue lightning that would blind anyone who dared to look at it directly, a mighty force that gathered for a crushing strike, its wrath accompanied by panicked shouts of people that were at the lower floors of the forbidden library. Many were hiding under desks and shelves when faced with the suddenly darkened sky.
"Heavenly tribulation?!"
"Is someone on the upper levels breaking through?"
"What level is he breaking through? This tribulation is no joke!"
"Run! We will all die!"
Their voices were turning desperate with every passing second.
"Does this building have a lightning rod?" The last thought before Karl would be turned into a piece of charcoal flashed through the black glistering gem.
But that was it.
Nothing.
"EH?" Karl was confused, have the Heavens decided to give up? He had some level of knowledge of xinxia novels, but he was by no means an expert.
"The heavenly tribulation appears to be not working." Karl thought about using the ability to dig again, but did not dare to test the Heavens now when he knew they did not like dungeons.
"Fine, no digging, only dark magic, skeletons, curses, genocides and stuff, but no digging. I promise." Karl nodded in his mind.
* * * *
In a huge golden palace that was ten million miles wide, twenty million miles high and thirty million miles old, boggling the minds of all mortals who would just dare to entertain the thought of entertaining the thought of thinking about it, a huge door that usually took a year to fully open began opening.
Naturally, it opened just a little bit ajar, because the Godly Emperor of The Nine Point Three Heavens had his nerves near the breaking point every time it opened fully and no one wanted to risk it. The wise emperor had added to his name the zero point three mark to remind himself and all the others that being a Heavenly Emperor was not a simple matter.
That far his wisdom reached.
However secretly everyone knew that the true reason was that he thought that he ruled over more than just the Nine Heavens even though that was everything there was.
"Your Excellency Godly Emperor of The Nine Point Three Heavens! A calamity!" A crowd of people that was out of breath, all esteemed experts arrived before the emperor and kowtowed immediately. They had to heavily overuse their time and space domains to traverse the distance from the door to the emperor, an ordinary mortal would die of old age before traversing it.
Every Heaven, the place of immortals, was marvelous indeed.
"Hmph." The emperor harrumphed.
"Of course emperor!" The leading figure with a long white beard affirmed despite having no clue about what the emperor meant.
"But the heavenly tribulation machine is stuck!" Someone uttered over the shoulder of the leading expert.
"What?! The heavenly tribulation machine is stuck?!" Emperor shook, shocked by the seriousness of the issue. Sweat appeared on his forehead just from the thought that they would have to do the tribulations themselves. Mortals were like locust, even if he counted only those defying heaven. He could not understand why it was so amusing that they were trying to do it all the time.
"Mugh Mhmmm m mm !!!" A loud shout came from the direction of the door, but they had to wait until it was opened at least a little bit to understand the speaker's words.
"Tsk, tsss." The leading white bearded figure nudged an expert next to him with his elbow.
"Ugh, of course!" The nudged man understood what they wanted of him.
"The heavenly tribulation machine is stuck no longer!" He discerned the meaning of the words from karma and fate as no one wanted to wait two days until the door were opened wide enough.
One might think that a group of experts of an unreachable level should have done it in the first place instead of bothering their emperor, but a mind of an ordinary mortal could not possibly comprehend their hidden motives.
You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.
"That is great, as a reward you will not be punished for disrupting my secluded meditation!" The emperor claimed and positioned himself in a way to cover the array of empty bottles that stood atop his golden throne. No one needed to know that the uncomfortable golden throne was being used as an open bar for his drinks and the emperor used cushions and beds for sitting when no one else was around.
"Cut the bonus of the Heavenly Mechanics, they are doing a poor job. Now go!" The emperor gestured for them to leave.
"Eh, actually. .. Of course emperor!" The leading expert remembered that they had blamed the nonexistent Heavenly Mechanics the last time and stopped himself from inquiring who that might be, simply bowing low and walking back to the door.
Actually, they had broken the heavenly tribulation machine on purpose to visit and see how many bottles the emperor needed. Every time he ran out of bottles, the emperor went out to get more, something that usually turned into a disaster and had to be prevented at all costs.
* * * *
Karl Gulden watched the terrible monster that covered nearly the whole third of his sight. Staring at the detail of its legs, he saw the serrated blades of the deadly horror and followed its every move with dread as it began to renew its efforts to entangle him in its web,
"Ugh, I cannot move!" He panicked before realizing that it was his permanent state. "I have to do something!"
The huge image in front of him froze, its pedipalps beginning to move in a motion reminding him of the legs of a fly, although much more sinister looking. He imagined its sharp instruments digging into his glass-like surface and panic gripped him.
"My minions, defend me! Defend your master!" Karl summoned the two skeletons, which was really all that he could do and prayed that they would be able to get rid him of the terrifying monster.
The two of his trusted slaves materialized, ready to dispatch the abominable creature, but the moment they appeared an alarm started ringing through the room that was lined with shelves, layers upon layers of them going from the floor to the very top of the high ceiling. He felt like he was a book in a book store, but only after omitting all the dread he felt at this moment.
"Is it acting up again?" A familiar white bearded figure appeared and promptly destroyed the two skeletons with a single swing of his blade.
Again. How many times had it been already? He had lost count.
"You bully! My poor skellies! Hurry up and help, I am being harassed by this filthy thing!" Karl shouted pointlessly in despair while the elder stared at him cautiously.
"I have been on my toes for weeks because of this demonic sword, but its activity turns our to be really. . ." He squinted and furrowed his eyebrows only to relax his face a second later.
". . .pathetic." He uttered the last word like it was a tiny sliver of vomit, tiny in volume but intense in quality. Karl felt a pang of pain in his heart and wanted to argue with the elder, but stopped midway when he realized that the elder was right.
"I will take it to a less secure area, this forbidden zone is wasted on such a useless piece of junk." The elder took up the silently sobbing sword and brushed a spider off its black gemstone.
"We should allow some servants into the forbidden areas to clean it here, all those flies and spiders here. Disgusting." Elder Gon murmured and carried Karl downstairs to an area that looked significantly more clean.
"Even if it is a piece of junk, it can certainly surprise even an expert by its unusual summons." The Elder was in deep thought while carrying the sword down. Naturally, the forbidden library had nine floors, each floor holding more dangerous items and knowledge than the previous one. The elder descended down from the ninth level until he stopped at the second.
"The second level should be alright even though the two randomly summoned skeletons are hopeless." The first level of the library held only trinkets and parlor tricks in his opinion, but considering that even he had once been on guard in front of the item, it deserved at least the second level.
The Elder had no idea what had been the creator of the item thinking. The skeletons had no martial training at all and were as durable as an ordinary bone. Even the most lame of the outer disciples would be able to beat them with a subpar weapon. He placed the sword in a corner of one of the rooms on the second floor, chuckling inwardly when he saw countless eyes watching his action.
"That is Elder Gon!"
"He had brought here an item from the upper floors!"
"Our luck is great today!"
"There will be a huge bidding fight for that item!"
"He is the second strongest Elder of our Thunder God Sect!"
The long eyebrows of Elder Gon furrowed again when he heard the last one and he though about how to punish the impudent youngling.
Evaluating their Elders? How dare they!
Suddenly, he flickered one of his sleeves in the youth's direction and the poor outer disciple got nearly a heart attack. He thought about following with a crushing cold harrumph, but decided against it when he saw the pale expression of his target, his hands and feet shaking with fright.
"That should be enough." The Elder thought and mercifully vanished without further actions, the whole floor sighed with relieve.
The pressure of Elder's presence was really too much for the second floor of the forbidden library!
By a miraculous stroke of fate, Jin Feng was also present among the startled disciples.
"This might look like a miraculous stroke of fate, but this fap of fate will have no happy ending." Jin Feng, the indecent person that constantly gazed up to the sky, having not but contempt for the Heavens above uttered with disgust into the hem of his hood when he saw the sparkling eyes of his fellow disciples. He knew the sword's powers and they were utterly underwhelming.
Karl Gulden watched in horror all the attention and his only soothing thought was that the dreadful spider was gone. He was clear that he would be getting himself in trouble shortly and his only ticket out was to pretend to be completely useless.
It should not be hard considering that it was not far from the truth.
"This sword will be yours Jin Feng, I will buy it for you! Our duel will finish as it was supposed to finish the last time."
"Really, what does this guy has with green color?" Karl noticed that aside from the speaker wearing an emerald robe like the last time, there were strands of green hair flowing down his shoulders that reflected light like fireflies, forcing him to wonder whether he was looking from a peculiar angle, or the person had applied some sort of glitter to his hair.
It was clearly none other than Wu Gon, eager to conclude the unfinished duel that in his mind, he had already won the last time.
"I am not interested in your pity or money of your grandfather, be gone pest." Jin Feng was as arrogant as ever, unwilling to submit to his adversary's taunts and the two speakers began to gloat like two peacocks.
"You are afraid! I know that you do not have resources nor reputation to afford any weapon. Repeat the duel against me and the weapon will be yours even if you lose, something that is obviously inevitable." Wu Gon began trashing his emerald sleeves around, gesticulating wildly.
"Hmph!" Jin Feng tried to imitate Elder Gon's esteemed reaction, but he had overdid it with spit pressure and the two closest disciples to him were now gazing at him murderously, their long sleeves stained with Jin Feng's spit and snot.
"How unsightly!" Wu Gon flickered his sleeves expertly again and Jin Feng began to realize that the situation would end badly for him if he could not get away from the forbidden library.
"I will win against a golden spoon like you easily. Buy me the sword!" Jin Feng said seriously, something that was hard to do with a ton of spit on his mouth, but he gracefully ignored it.
"It is yours. I will give you two weeks to prepare." Wu Gon picked up the sword and Karl's senses blurred again. The thrown blade was caught by Jin Feng who tried to save his face with his last biting remark.
"You need to wait for your grandfather's monthly doting to buy your victory, I see. Unfortunately for you, a great difference in skill cannot be overturned by trinkets." Jin Feng claimed pompously before quickly leaving the floor, in order to prevent Wu Gon from responding. It was hard to argue with him after the last beating.
When lying through your teeth, it is the best to silence the other party! That was something that Jin Feng had learned a long time ago.
Meanwhile, Karl in his hand was trying to remember the contents of their dispute. It was of no consequence to him as long as he would not get scrapped. The greatest boon was that he was no longer under the watch of the library's enchantments and spell formations. He would be finally able to do some real experiments.
While he tried to fight against the dizziness that his movement caused, he had been put into a scabbard and even though his surroundings was still too blurred to make any sense of it, he was able to somehow get a grip of his faculties. His mind began to slowly turn despite his movement, considering his situation.
Undoubtedly, survival was his first priority and he had to be in control at least of some of his powers to facilitate that. Based on his identity, he was supposed to grow bigger to defend himself, building and digging, luring his greedy victims into their doom. However, thanks to the unusual settings of his reincarnation he was unable to behave like an ordinary dungeon core and build up his domain unless he wanted to face a very scary heavenly tribulation.
"Like hell I can face that stuff that nearly kills even the most heaven defying characters with cheat-like powers." Karl though and only a single option in his mind remained. It should not matter how his targets met their end and he still had his two trusty skeletons.
He remembered the conversation between his current owner and his rival, it seemed he had full two weeks before the duel happened. Until then, not much should happen and he would have time to do some basic power up.
"It is high time to leave this pile of dung behind." Jin Feng took out a small leather sack and loosened its string. When he looked at what was inside, a wide grin appeared on his face and from his angle Karl could only guess that the contents that caused his mood shift was definitely gold or other currency that this world used. Jin Feng moved his hand up and down, feeling the weight of his spoils and his grin transformed into a brilliant smile.
"I have finally taught those filthy cultivators a lesson, I will return everything they have stolen from the ordinary people back to us! You think that when you practice cultivation you can rob farmers as you please? I will rob you back!"Jin Feng jogged along a narrow dirt path that was used mainly by servants until he reached a simple entrance made of wood. He passed through as if he had done it a thousand times, despite not being a servant, and disappeared in the woods outside of the sect with the wondering Karl swinging at his hip.
"What? He.. . he is a thief! I have been kidnapped! I mean, stolen!" He realized that Jin Feng was probably a former servant that had decided to improve his pay by stealing, pretending to be a new disciple. There were some details that were not adding up, especially why the Elder had not recognized him as a simple commoner, but Karl was sure that the truth would reveal itself shortly.
* * * *
1.3
* * * *
"You should stop playing games with toads."
"But grandfather! I must teach that arrogant failure a lesson. I will not fail you and surely beat him up easily like the last time! "
An old man watched his descendant for a while as if waiting for a realization to down upon his younger blood, but ended up shaking his head with disbelief.
"Grandfather, do you really . .ugh." Suddenly, Elder Gon knocked lightly on the table in front of him and his grandson had to press his hands against his ears in a futile attempt to block the unnatural sound that threatened to melt his brain.
"Enough! I obviously expect you to punish that pitiful creature, but you should have recognized long ago that he is just a mere weed mixed among the flowers." The Elder gave a barely observable nod, underlining the hidden meaning contained in his words.
"Ah, of course grandfather, of course. He is just a weed." The hunched young man in front of the Elder massaged his ear lobes.
"A simple weed." The white haired elder repeated while nodding again, shifting the weight of his body to his right ass cheek. The cushion under him gave a peculiar noise while the icon of cultivation paused in contemplation. The Elder had never been a fan of long posturing despite the latest trend. His behind got sore too easily and he had frankly no time for pointless loitering.
"Grandfather, by that you mean?" The bowed head lifted up and looked at the Elder, a question written all over its face.
"A mere stump in our forest." The Elder kindly elaborated.
"Yes, yes, a stump" The question mark in his face had not disappeared.
"A dried sump, devoid of all what makes it a tree." The Elder pulled lightly at his beard, observing his clueless disciple.
"Do you mean?!" Despite all the clues the elder kindly provided, the man dressed in green was not much closer to the truth.
"The man had not embarked on the path of cultivation at all! He is not even at the first level of Mojo Condensation Stage!" The thin, white beard was nearly pulled off of the old man's face with anger when he saw that his disciple was far less bright than he had expected.
"Preposterous! I will deal with him immediately!" The figure veiled in green bowed while walking backwards, toward the exit of the Elder's chambers. The elder lifted his chin in sinister silence, waiting until his descendant disappeared and he could put aside the few strands of his beard he had accidentally torn off.
* * * *
Karl tried to steady his thoughts while he was swinging back and forth, strapped to the belt of his owner, or rather possessor, as he had clearly stolen him from the Thunder God Sect. The conman could die the next second as far as he was concerned, but he was still unsure about his tiny body's sturdiness. He was surely not indestructible and any serious incident might result in his untimely shattering, meaning death.
A pulse of energy flared up, when Karl thought about summoning his two skellies and taking care of his bearer, but it faded into nothing the moment he realized that his servants were probably not as strong as he would like based on his previous experience. He did not like becoming passive, but it was probably natural to a degree, given his identity.
"Damn, this is too much." Karl turned his attention up to the Jin Feng's chin and tried to dodge a drop formed of sweat that flew in his direction, but he was, of course, inevitably stationary as always and the drop missed him by an inch only by sheer luck.
"Uch, ogh. Argh." He contemplated if the thief had not been injured during his flight, but it was most likely just a decent amount of fat that turned into lead when taken into account the beautiful mountainous terrain around them.
"I can't, can¨t carry this any longer. A pity." Jin Feng stopped while propping his knees with his hands, a leather sack slamming against the ground, the crushed shrubberies telling Karl all that he needed to know about its weight.
"Screw bronze, I am taking just silver, gold, soul shards and other truly valuable stuff from now on." The sword bearer said in between his labored breaths while he righted himself back up to continue his journey down the mountain.
"Out of breath during a walk down the mountain? Pitiful, he will be dead in a few days in a cultivation world." Karl complained while thinking to what degree this world shared similarities with the classic xinxia literature. So far, it looked exactly how he had imagined it, except that walking through the mountains was boringly slow even despite his wielder's clear urgency of traversing the terrain with haste. It seemed that the region was not safe for the likes of him.
"Pffff pffff." A cold blooded muffled sound of air violently escaping a horse's tender parts grabbed the attention of both Jin Feng and Karl. They turned their heads immediately only to see three figures emerging from behind a large, aged tree, the middle one trying to mask the strangeness of the sound he had just made by wildly gesticulating and imitating a hearty, Santa Clause-like laugh.
"Ho Ho Ho! Isn't this a lone disciple of the Thunder God Sect? Your luck is really bad today, for you have met the Three Tree Flying Heavenly Blades of Eternal Death hailing from the famous Gelu Sect!" The middle man with long black hair dressed in a black robe with green geometrical patterns spoke while slowly drawing out his sword, as if trying to scare them by the simple fact of drawing it.
"I will be merciless with your life, your only hope of survival is to throw your expensive looking weapon to my men here and fall down while kissing my feet if you want to preserve your worm-like existence!" His eyebrows knitted into a frown and he immediately continued, his sword already half-way out of its scabbard.
"Or face the wrath of the mig . . .ugh." Everyone froze solid at the sight of Jin Feng hurling his sword aside while launching himself at his target with his lips extended forward in a ravenous hunger for a brief, wet touch.
"Disgusting! Get away!" The former Santa kept trying to avoid the pursuing mouth, his legs moving rapidly in a peculiar tribal-like dance.
"Stop it at once or I will kill you ten thousand times!" Finally, the man managed to jump far enough to escape the kissing frenzy and stared at Jin Feng with an incredulous expression.
"Have the Thunder God Sect's disciples no shame? This is the new low for your pitiful organization!" The leader breathed wildly with clear relieve that he had managed to escape in time before his legs were stained with tons of saliva.
"No." Jin Feng shamelessly answered, petrifying his audience.
Finally, after a few seconds of being frozen motionless, the leader produced another horse-like noise in an imitation of a true cold harrumph and turned around, leaving the robbed Jin Feng with haste. Although he had managed to steal a sword from him, he felt his pride might be stolen in return if he dared to linger yet another second with the shameless disciple of the rivaling sect.
* * * *
"Useless." Jin Feng felt the shape of a shoe imprint itself into his behind and he immediately fell flat onto his face from his crawling position. The same shoe pressed him down into the dirt and he could glimpse its green, polished surface.
"Stop it!" He protested with his mouth full of dirt, but a gloating voice immediately rebuked him without any intention to release the downward pressure.
"Truly pathetic, how am I to gain any honor by defeating a loser that is licking the feet of every lowly bandit that lurks along the road? Tell me, how?" Jin Feng recognized the voice and managed to turn his neck enough to see the ever emerald presence of Wu Gon, the man was shocked to the point he had completely forgotten to frown, whirl around with his long, emerald sleeves or do any other multitude of quirks that he considered to look cool.
"And do not even look at my feet!" Wu Gon shouted suddenly and jumped a few meters back, looking at the person in front of him with disgust. He only continued to speak after he made sure that Jin Feng was not moving towards him, but continued to lie down in the dirt.
"Incompetent." A sound of steel sounded next to Jin Feng's ear, the weapon that had just been stolen was dropped next to him by Wu Gon.
"No, this will not stand, I cannot have my revenge like this. You need to man up first, we will whip you up into shape. I refuse to take revenge on someone crawling in the dirt in front of every lowlife he meets!" Wu Gon continued in his complaints, this was certainly not how he had imagined his glorious revenge.
He should have fought a duel and was supposed to have blood of his enemy on his weapon, not spit on his feet! Nor should he need to hunt bandits to retrieve his rival's weapon! At some point in time, he had thought about Jin Feng as his rival and based on everything he saw in the sect, it should have followed that pattern, but the situation continued to evolve into a strange form of a disgrace.
"I see, you are just a dirty thief after all. Expecting anything of you was a mistake. You cannot do anything, anything. Only talk." The disdain in Wu Gon's eyes slowly began to vanish as if Jin Feng faded out of the existence.
"You stinky thieving bunch and your honor. You have none! Everything you own you steal from the people you claim to protect!" Jin Feng seemed to have enough and completely broke his act. He suddenly stood straight and tore of his sect's closing, leaving him only in the undergarments.
"You are thieving trash yourselves. Who built all your tall fences and mighty halls? Brought stones for your statues and searched for your gold that you can put on your ugly mugs later?! We, the ordinary people did all that!" He pointed his finger accusingly at Wu Gon with a sudden confidence that shocked the other party.
"Ungrateful dog! After all the protection we provide, you dare to bark back?!" Wu Gon made a step forth and readied his podao with killing intent.
However, Jin Feng did not back down like the norm for his caste dictated and shouted instead, his voice filled with hatred.
"Protection?" He spat the word out of his mouth with disgust. "You mean to say extortion, right?! Go on, kill me, warmongering parasite."
At this point, Wu Gon was shaking with rage and lifted his weapon to deliver the final blow. Jin Feng simply stood there and stared at him without blinking as if some mental disease had robbed him of all fear. The rays of sun reflected on the blade of the podao that lifted high above their heads and the birds stopped singing for a moment, as if watching the spectacle that was to come.
The blade never fell.
Both men froze in their place when they heard an immense explosion that colored the horizon behind them red. Instinctively turning their heads, it looked like a volcano erupted at the exact same spot where the center of the sect was.
"Impossible." Wu Gon exhaled slowly, not wanting to believe his eyes. Even from their distance, they could guess the unprecedented level of destruction that was taking place at the spot where he had grown up. Buildings burned and pillars fell and the sounds of battle that broke out could be heard all the way. These were no ordinary battles, Wu Gon could swear that he had seen the signature move of his grandfather, an emerald green giant sword to dance among the all consuming flames. To his horror, it did not take long before the giant illusory sword disappeared. Outmatched. Overwhelmed.
"Grandpa!!" Wu Gon roared and wanted to run back to the sect, when he was forced to dodge a stream of red hot flame that nearly burned his hair.
"Grandpa, grandpa! How heartrending, I might cry!" Venomous words reached their ears, as a tall man in red and black clothes appeared.
"The Cult of Mezzaiel!" The young disciple of the Thunder God Sect uttered in fear as he made a few steps backwards. The attacker acted as a professional and immediately launched a sneak attack without any further introduction, wielding a sword and a dagger both enveloped in unnatural flames.
"Demonic cults can never win in this part of the world! Be gone or die!" Wu Gon shouted as if he wanted to encourage himself while he whirled his weapon in wide strikes in order to ward off the flames, not wanting to get too close to them. He was not able to keep up with the quick combination of a sword and a dagger when pointed at a particular point of his defense, but was able to make up for it with extra movement.
At least for a time.
"We can still harvest fat ducks like the Thunder God Sect and disappear. That sounds like a victory to me. You are nothing in front of the power of the demonic path. Haven't you seen all the big flashy moves of your sect Elders disappear?" The last words made Wu Gon lose a part of his focus and the demonic cultivator quickly exploited it with an aggressive charge.
Wu Gon had to admit that the weapon mastery of his enemy was better than his own and he was about to get stabbed by the dagger, after the demonic cultivator's sword got his weapon out of the way, but unexpectedly, the enemy jumped to the side and distanced himself from Wu Gon as if stung by a wasp.
Only now could Wu Gon see a figure hidden behind his enemy's back, holding firmly the sword with a black gem embedded into it.
"I have to admit your friend here is quite the sneaky one, he almost got me."The man in black and red smirked while weighting his options.
"I will gut him first, he is too inexperienced." Both fiery weapons launched a fierce attack at Jin Feng who had no hope to defend against the vicious and experienced opponent.
"I am your opponent!" Wu Gon thundered and jumped in between the two just in the nick of time, fending the attack in a desperate flurry of green sword light.
The fight continued, two against one, it was more balanced than when it began. If Jin Feng committed fully to the fight, he would have been surely quickly dispatched by the demonic cultivator, but he held back and interfered only in critical moments, annoying the cultist greatly.
"Die, fake trash!" The swordsman roared and enveloped himself in demonic fire. His eyes turned bloodshot and he hurled himself at Wu Gon in a mad onslaught of unprecedented intensity. It was clear that the defense of the erratically moving podao would crumble any second and Jin Feng hurried to help his pressured ally.
That was exactly what the demonic cultivator was waiting for.
"It's a trap!" Wu Gon shouted, but it was too late.
The moment Jin Feng moved closer, the cultist turned around and jumped at him fiercely with his both weapons held high, as if he had eyes on the back of his head. For that moment Karl regained his vision, as Jin Feng held his sword steady with both hands to counter the powerful downswing that would come.
Like in a movie, Karl watched the fiery blades collide with his own. From the first seat, he could see his cheap blade to shatter and allow the fire and steel to plunge into the chest of Jin Feng. It was only natural, as Karl had always been a part of the sword, the purpose of which was more decorative than anything else with its big black gem just for show.
"Die!" The demonic cultivator heard an angry roar from behind and an evil smirk distorted his lips, as Karl could clearly see from his position directly facing him.
"Don't!" Karl shouted, but as always, no one heard him.
Wu Gon was guided by rage that was quickly used against him, as the cultist let go of his dagger, side stepped and deflected the blade of Wu Gon's weapon that pierced right through the belly of Jin Feng on top of his already mortal wound. At the same time, the demonic cultivator used Wu Gon's shock to stab his sword deep into his side. The fiery blade moved up through his body, searing all organs, destroying even the tough body of a cultivator.
Karl watched in a daze as the light in the eyes of Wu Gon and Jin Feng slowly faded at the same time. However, he swore that he could see a faint smile on Jin Feng's lips during his last moments as he stared at his unexpected comrade in arms.
His consciousness blurred as the three of them fell to the ground, only to return immediately after with the vile cultivator no longer around. Karl was between the two bodies and thought about if he could have aided the dead duo in any way, but he knew that the two skeletons that he had were just for show and the demonic cultivator could hardly be tricked into running away.
He was lying there and though about how to live on in such a world.
As a useless broken sword.