He wants to help, he really does.

Wants to give Tantra some sort of consolation and a pat on the back, tell her it's okay and that she doesn’t have to try so hard. He wants to stop this madness so badly. There's just one problem.

Tantra isn’t wrong.

She’s too weak, they all are.

That random cultivator she ran into in Forikikam could have easily killed her, and the authorities would have done nothing because it was she who attacked first, and if he was there with her? What could he have done? He hasn’t even finished his foundations. The truth of the matter is that they’re still just a bunch of cubs to the lions that strut around with regal confidence. If he stops her now, all for the sake of ending her pain, will he condemn her to an avoidable death down the road?

He doesn’t like that question, so he avoids it.

So long as he keeps avoiding it, he has no right to tell her to stop.

So instead he trains, not as hard as her, his body would break long before he sees any results, but harder than he did before. He got the manual from Rakan, and can see how Tantra got so far so quickly.

In total, the amount of Qi the core carries is generally not enough to fill an exhausted body with Qi, not with the efficiency of simple dispersal. One could thread their Qi through their body for marginally better results, but it’ll only shorten the journey by a few years, and will take the entirety of the day, leaving no room for training or learning. So the disciples are encouraged to simply disperse their Qi, what’s a few years to a cultivator? Besides, the extended period of exercise makes the bodies baseline significantly stronger.

This technique isn’t like dispersal, or threading.

Its efficiency is practically perfect.

Meaning the journey to foundation shortens from five to ten years all the way down to one year or less.

The only cost is potentially bursting your heart.

He was worried when he saw Tantra clutching at her heart at regular intervals along their walk. But she’s in foundation, so while her heart is still mortal, it can handle some Qi boosting, emphasis on some. He hasn’t intervened because Rakan hasn’t, and he surely knows more than Kisrin with his Qi senses and decades of practicing this very technique.

Or maybe Kisrin’s just a coward, afraid of upsetting the girl he likes.

The thought’s come up more than a few times, and only encouraged him to train harder, if only to prove to himself that he is not a coward.

But cowardice comes in many forms, just because he’s willing to suffer through the pain of training doesn’t mean he’s got the courage to confront Tantra.

Hells it’s been…over a year and a half and he still hasn’t told her how he feels.

He takes a deep breath, well, he’s almost at his village, he can ask pops for advice.

He’s always got some kind of insight for every situation.

Not necessarily the right ones, but they're there.

-

Erick doesn’t understand a lot of things.

He doesn’t understand why papa died, he doesn’t understand why mama gave him all the food until she starved, and he doesn’t understand why the villagers beat him so. The only thing that he does understand is that cultivators don’t get beaten, and they don’t go hungry.

As he’s journeyed with a group of them he’s come to realize that only one of those assumptions was right.

Tantra, strict as she is, has been kind to him. They all have, but her especially, she’s even been teaching him letters by digging furrows into the dirt with sticks, and would read him stories back in the village to help with his language.

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He’s not very good, but he’s learning.

So he doesn’t like what he’s seeing.

Doesn’t like it at all.

She’s rushing into beatings and pushing through training with the ferocity of a honey badger. Not caring at all for how she hurts herself, not caring at all for the pain.

He doesn’t understand.

They explained it to him, each of them in their own way. Rakan said she was given the much needed push to adopt a cultivators spirit. Etra said she’s embodying the discipline told of in stories. Kisrin said she’s just desperate to get stronger.

Yorin said she’s being stupid.

Erick is inclined to agree with him, but Tantra isn’t stupid, she’s really, really smart.

So he doesn’t understand.

After weeks of watching this he’s finally gotten the courage to ask her about it.

“Tantra?”

“Yes?” the familiar hoarse voice asks.

“Why are you hurting yourself?”

She just blinks at him, seemingly shocked, “I’m not hurting myself, I’m just training.”

Erick her arm, which is currently wrapped in a makeshift cast because the bone punched through her skin.

She huffs, “that was just because I’m weak.”

“You weren’t getting hurt like this before.”

“I wasn’t trying hard enough.”

Erick tilts his head, understanding coming to his mind, “do you hate yourself?”

“What? No!” She exclaims, “I just need to get stronger and this is the fastest way to do it.”

Erick shakes his head, “you don’t look strong, you look hurt.”

Tantra sighs, “Listen, I appreciate your concern, but I…have to do this.”

“Why?”

Tantra looks off to the moon for a moment, “because the world is a cruel place, and it won’t accommodate weakness. What happens when a cultivator Rakan can’t handle decides our lives are worth ending? What happens if we meet a divine beast that doesn’t just lick people and saunters off? We die, that’s what. I might never be immortal, but I need to be stronger.”

“Why you though?” Erick asks, “why not Rakan, or someone else?”

She turns and gives him a smile.

“I appreciate your concern Erick, but i can’t be responsible for another death, not again.”

-

Rakan stares at Tantra.

Tantra stares at Rakan.

Rakan lets out a sigh, “I was hoping we could unlock your Qi senses first.”

“So the idea has merit then?” Tantra asks.

Rakan hums in contemplation, “It does, it's just ridiculously dangerous. I know you’ve been on a crusade recently ‘cause of that random urchin, but some things you just shouldn’t try.”

“I’m not suicidal teacher, I only plan to test this technique once my organs have reached foundation.”

Rakan sighs, “you don’t get it kid. Even if it doesn’t damage anything, boosting still puts stress on the things being boosted. A full body boost like that will exhaust organs that aren’t meant to be exhausted. That could lead to some severe backlash or just straight up death, who knows.”

Tantra keeps her eyes level with his, not budging an inch.

Truthfully he’s quite happy by her recent escapade into intensive training, barely able to contain the swell of pride the last month has brought him. She finally gets it! Sure it took being at the mercy of a senior cultivator but all's well that ends well as they say. He’s probably going to have to have a chat with her though, she’s going a little extreme.

Now she’s even making her own techniques, sure, it’s just a modification of the blood infusion technique, but it’s still a technique.

Rakan extends his arm and a ball appears in his palm, which he then tosses at Tantra.

She catches it and looks mighty confused.

“Make it float.”

“Make it what?”

“You heard me. You wanna train intention? This is how you do it; cover that ball with your Qi and bend reality according to your will, force the world to recognize your mandate, and make that ball float. It’s not even that complicated of a concept, you just have to keep trying until it happens.”

Tantra looks incredulously at him, but does as he says and gets into a kind of half lotus stance, what with the broken knee making her other leg slightly unwieldy. Rakan can smell the Qi as it leaves her core and travels down her arms. Qi untouched by a dao always has a slight hint of mint, his other senses can track Qi as well, but he’s always preferred smell.

Tantra drapes the ball in Qi like a cloud and Rakan can feel the struggle between her and reality as she imposes her will. Intention isn’t entirely dependent on willpower, but you’ll need it to be strong to really bend reality at all.

She doesn’t have forever, Qi techniques outside the body need to be quick, as it tends to dissipate precipitously to the atmosphere.

Rakan watches as just a tiny separation of perhaps a millimeter is made between her hands and the ball. Then Tantra loses control of the cloud of Qi, all of it dispersing and lost.

Tantra looks dejected at the ball, “I couldn’t do it.”

Rakan, barely able to contain his smile, just nods.

“Try again.”