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He was a Man, and I was a Villain
4. Paid in Exposure, as Always

4. Paid in Exposure, as Always

As I scrubbed through my video, I cut boring parts where nothing happened. Surah hovered over my shoulder.

“No wonder you have no subscribers. You tape walls more than anything.”

“Don’t you have a city to run? I saw my pranks perfectly fine.”

“You can’t use Spectral Vision on video, at least not commercially.”

Surah froze when the video reached my confrontation with mystery man. She put her hand on my shoulder and shook me around.

“Did you get a good shot of his face?”

“No. His hood didn’t come off until he shot my poor camera.”

Too bad, I wanted to see his face again. She smiled.

“So it is broken.”

“Did I say shot? I meant shat.”

“Gross. That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Roll with it.”

Surah rolled her eyes.

“How can I…. You know what, never mind. Back to why I asked in the first place. He’s Iseult Gavana, a wanted criminal.”

So that was his name, Iseult Gavana. The name rolled off the tongue. Australian or maybe Austrian. Definitely not Hungarian.

“He’s hot.”

“He’s killed four heroes. Honestly, I’m surprised you’re not hurt after fighting him.”

“I am injured—emotionally. He broke my heart.”

I reimagined our fateful encounter and my heart burned with wild abandon. Excitement overwhelmed me, but paradoxically, I wanted more. No, I couldn’t. If my heart exploded, I’d be in trouble. I needed my heart. For now. Surah stared at me like I deserved to live in an asylum.

“Good. Stay away from him and don’t even think of bringing him into my house.”

“I already said he rejected me. Chill.”

“You’re not one to give up. You’re irritating like that.”

I ignored her and pretended to edit my video. The editing process was super boring though so I’d probably give up halfway. Surah stepped to the counter and grabbed a water bottle.

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

“You know, it wouldn’t be bad if you pursued him.”

I paused.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’d mess with his plans and appear at inconvenient times. Maybe he’ll get arrested. We could always have more villains off the streets.”

“Well, now I don’t want to. I hate when people tell me what to do.”

I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Unless it’s for a Scooby Snack.”

Surah seemed unamused. She sipped the water and placed the remainder in her work bag.

“I’m fresh out of those. But I do have money.”

“You don’t have enough to hire me.”

“The city does. If you capture him, I’ll pay you from the Fire and Police Commission’s budget.”

I did enjoy legally stealing government resources. As long as it wasn’t called a job, I was in. Of course, I’d take an Italian job, but nobody has ever offered me one.

“You drive a hard bargain. Make it from the Golf Advisory Committee and we have a deal.”

“Golf what? Is that a real committee?”

“It is and they’re a menace to society.”

I’d never forgotten their rejection. Now they wouldn’t exist. She tapped the counter in thought.

“Alright. I’ll need to see their budget first to make sure we can adequately compensate you. If it’s not enough, the District Council can advertise your youtube channel on our website. You care more about exposure than money anyway.”

I quit the editing program because it gave me a headache, but I forgot to save. The realization tore at my heart. All that time wasted. Fed up, I posted the raw video on my channel.

“Ugh, yeah sure. I’ll do it. You won’t get in trouble for advertising a villain, right? The Grand Arbiter—“

She stepped to me and clenched my mouth in an iron grip. My jaw creaked from the force.

“Don’t.”

Her uncovered eye spun around the room, searching. In answer to her worries, a heavy pressure descended upon us. Running was futile. Fighting was futile. Everything was futile under that presence.

Then it left. Surah and I shook from relief. She whispered.

“To answer your question, no. Platforming a villain is not directly against the law.”

Pain crushed my jaw, so I shifted from her grip. I got it, I wouldn’t provoke Him.

“In that case, I’ll work on it. I have an idea of where he’ll be next.”

Surah relaxed. She beamed at me.

“Thank you.”

She rearranged the papers which fell to the floor and packed her work bag with snacks. A minute later, her wristwatch beeped at her. Surah silenced it and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

“Back to work. Those bones don’t make themselves.”

One step brought her to the door. After opening it, the next step took her back to city hall, a bold display of her inferior movement ability. She couldn’t even go through walls. Surah had envied my teleportation gift since we first met.

I stood and stretched. Catching mystery man, otherwise known as Iseult, would be easy. He wanted to rescue his partner, so he’d hang around Tombo’s businesses. According to the classified papers he’d smacked around, the offices on 4th street were most suspicious.

But arresting him normally would be lame. I needed to do something fun for my channel. If I played my cards right, this could be my big break into stardom. What would award the greatest entertainment value?

A plan bubbled into mind. I rubbed my hands together evilly, my sinister intentions manifesting and bleeding into my costume. I no longer looked like a classic magician, I was a classic villain. But first, it was lunchtime.