Chapter 14: Companionship

Paulie and Jakiikii followed behind Mack as they walked through the winding side streets and alleyways towards the apartment that was their current home.

As they walked, he took special notice of their surroundings, the normally heavy pressure he had been feeling on his mind was somewhat lessened now as he felt the comforting weight of his armour and Nemesis on his hip. That nagging feeling of doom that had been lurking at the back of his mind now battened down by the knowledge he could effectively defend himself.

His worry must have still shown on his face as he soon felt a hand reach up and rest on his shoulder. Looking over at Jakiikii, she gave him a small smile and asked, “Are you alright, Paulie? You look very tense.”

Paulie nodded, not sure what to say. He could have lied, told her that he was worried about the raid, about her. But the truth was far more complex.

She continued, her voice lowering slightly as if afraid to be overheard by the surrounding crowd. “Is it the raid? I have been on several, and I can assure you that the waiting is the hardest part. Sitting alone at night, not sure what tomorrow will bring nor where you will be at its end..” He glanced at her. “I understand is all I am saying.” She finished, her two middle arms raising in a placating gesture even as her upper arm removed itself from his shoulder.

He had to admit to himself, he was worried. But not so much about the raid as to his own future. He had no doubt that his life was in danger, but he had gotten used to the feeling of being hunted. Of knowing that every day could be his last. No, what had him really worried was the safety of his friends, Mack.. and Jakiikii.

He was about to say so when his thoughts were interrupted by Mack suddenly exclaiming, “Well, home sweet home. Go on in, I need to make a few calls. Rest well, we will meet again on the morrow.” They were waved towards the doors and just like that, they were inside and alone.

He sighed heavily as they quickly climbed the stairs to their respective rooms. “I am not looking forward to tomorrow, but another part of me seems to relish the idea of getting some payback. Is that wrong?”

Jakiikii looked over at him with her three nearer eyes, her head not moving as she answered. “No. Not at all. Vengeance is the purest form of loyalty, loyalty to oneself. Loyalty to your friends, it is a simple thing. To hate.” The venom that filled her voice made him look at her with concern. He was worried about her as well.

Paulie frowned. Maybe she wasn’t the best person to ask after all. He thought about it, “How do you do it, Jakiikii?”

“Do what?”

He gestured into the air directionlessly. “Keep a positive face on when things look so grim? I almost never hear you complain, you seem immune to the general bullshit that makes most people rage. That kind of stuff, you know?” She cocked her head at him.

“I know not why I am the way I am, if that is what you are asking, Paulie. It could be due to my donor.” Paulie cocked his head, mouthing the word at her silently. Jakiikii hesitated and then continued speaking. “My people, they do not reproduce like many other races.” She paused, seemingly gauging his reaction to the somewhat abrupt subject shift.

Paulie Nodded slowly. “Okay? How so?” He was a little intrigued now in spite of the small part of himself telling him not to pursue the topic. A small stir in the back of his mind, dark thoughts surfacing that he pushed down with an internal grimace. She continued as they reached their landing and pushed through the flight door and into the tiled hall beyond.

Jakiikii seemed to hesitate only briefly before she said, “Well, for one we don’t have separate sexes like most species seem to.”

That made Paulie glance at her again, his inherent curiosity now growing at the comment.

She continued unabated. “Instead when a termaxxi decides to reproduce she must acquire a viable genetic packet from another of her race. Incorporating that within her, she can then look for a donor-mind with which to bond. It is from this donor’s gestalt psyche that the new instance is based from.” She stopped, having reached their apartments. “Well, a blending that is.” She muttered to herself, he only just barely heard her.

Paulie was a little intrigued, and he hesitated to ask. “Wait, so you are not actually female? And what do you mean by donor psyche?”

She shook her head, tapping her chest as she reiterated. “No, I am what would be defined as female, in the general sense. And a donor psyche is one in whom a termaxxi has..” she flashed pale white again, seemingly embarrassed by the subject.

Paulie felt a subtle shift in the atmosphere between them, as if he had crossed a line somewhere that there was no going back from. Despite the fact, he put up his arms and stepped back a pace. “Hey, wait.. if it’s a touchy subject then I am sorry I asked. It’s fine really.”

Jakiikii flashed that pale white again and seemed to look at him, though her eyes were not angry. No, instead they seemed to shine brightly. Though it must have been his imagination. She turned from him slightly and took a single step into her room before she stopped, the handle in one hand and her body poised in that moment between entering and leaving.

She looked back at him again, those shimmering orange eyes making him shiver slightly in spite of himself. What was it about her that affected him so?

“You know, I was serious about what I said earlier. About being alone being the worst part of the waiting. Sometimes it is better to not spend the night alone, you are welcome to stay with me if you desire. I could set up the second bed..” She started to say, but a rapidly reddening Paulie cut her off with a waved hand.

“Oh, no. I’ll be okay, but thanks for the offer.” Was he seeing things or did the termaxxi woman look supremely disappointed? He continued quickly, “I have a few things I gotta do around the apartment before I go to bed you know?” It was a poor excuse, and he knew it. Jakiikii just nodded and seemed to mutter to herself before waving at him and bidding him a good night.

Paulie turned and closed his door behind himself, leaning against it. His heart was pounding in his chest and he was sweating suddenly. Why was he so anxious, sure she had only been trying to help him. Another part of him started to piece the scene together, and he swore to himself.

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“Dumbass!” He smacked the side of his head. She had been clearly asking for his company because of the raid tomorrow. They could get hurt, or worse. She had likely only wanted to have a friend nearby to help with the stress. She had mentioned to him more than once how she and her lost termaxxi friend had slept close together in a show of mutual companionship. That was all it was, a bid for closeness with another being of similar mind.

He cursed again as he stomped across the room. What an asshole he had been, thinking impure thoughts about ulterior motivations. She had said it herself, her race wasn’t even built like he was. So why had he been afraid she had been asking to…

He sat heavily on the side of the bed and kicked off his shoes. He felt bad, all she had wanted was some companionship, someone to be close to. And in his short-sighted monkey brain he had forgotten that she was not in fact a human woman, not somebody who would likely ever see him as more than a close friend.

“Damn it.” He put his head in his hands for a moment. It was probably too late for him to go back across the hall and accept now. She would be curious as to why he had told her no and then changed his mind suddenly. She would likely ask him what had changed and he couldn't lie to her. Not anymore.

He sat back in his bed and glanced towards the large synthscreen that took up the far wall, the cool sounds of water lapping lazily on pebbles working the stress from his mind even as he finally admitted the truth to himself.

He seemed to have deeper feelings for the alien woman than he had been willing to admit to himself before. But their recent experiences had only cemented the idea more and more into his mind. But it was too late now, the cat was out of the bag and could never be forced inside again. Paulie closed his eyes and thought of Jakiikii’s smiling face. Her shining eyes like orange gemstones that seemed to look everywhere at once, always so attentive and full of life. The cute way she would dance from foot to foot when she got excited, the way her remarkable color shifting skin would flash pale white when she became embarrassed.

He smiled. Paulie could not deny his own feelings any longer. He loved her. And he wasn’t sure she was even capable of loving him back, not in the way that his heart had begun to desire.

He cursed softly, “Damn you universe, for putting me in such a place. Damn you and all the spirits of karma that have banished so far from home to this place.” he beat his fists impotently upon the mattress on either side of him as he said it. But the universe was silent, no answer nor rebuke came. He was alone, just like Jakiikii had warned him not to be.

He took a moment to undress, laying the heavy composite armour and his holstered guns on the table by the kitchen door. Then he stopped, he unholstered Nemesis and set the large calibre revolver on his bedside table. He checked the chamber to make sure it was still loaded and then took off his shirt and pants. It was plenty warm enough in his climate-controlled room for his smallclothes alone.

Laying his head tiredly upon the synthetic cloth pillows, he soon fell asleep. His fitful dreams full of terrors and dark shadowy figures that seemed to whisper to each other when he wasn’t listening, that deep ache of homesickness growing like a cancer in the far corners of his embattled mind.

***********

Something jolted Paulie awake, for a bare moment he couldn't remember where he was or what was happening. And then his wrist communicator chirped at him insistently again.

He rolled over groggily, it seemed he had been thrashing around in his sleep again, the mess of his sheets were tangled around his middle almost like chains. Nearly holding him in place for a moment as he got his bearings back and struggled free of the cloth.

He was in his apartment, so generously provided on his moderate detective’s aide salary. It wasn’t much, but it had a kitchen and a bathroom, the far wall was windowless but had a massive synthscreen across it upon which he had instructed it to play a loop of the south Eldeatic Sea. The red pebble beaches and the smooth teal sky mixed with the endless expanse of dark green water, the sounds of the small waves lapping upon the smooth stones working to sooth his anxiety like nothing else.

His commie chirped again and he reached for it, clipping it on and pressing the small blue button to accept the call.

Jakiikii’s six-eyed head appeared on the screen, her smooth mottled brown skin flashing pale white as she exclaimed, “Oh! Are you naked?!” Notably she didn’t avert her eyes, not all of them at least.

Paulie looked down and then apologised. “No, I am just shirtless. I’m sorry, hang on..” He reached for his shirt, the camera of his wrist worn communicator going all over the place as he quickly slipped it on and looked back at it.

Jakiikii was still a little wide eyed, but she shook her head slightly and spoke. Her voice growing more serious as she did so. “We need to be going soon. The raid will be starting sometime before Trellan’s apex, and I was hoping I could invite you over for breakfast?” She asked, a little hesitantly.

Paulie kicked himself mentally. That was right, she was still probably a little upset about him snubbing her genuine plea for company last night and was testing him to see if he would do it again.

“Of course, I would love to.” He said, as pleasantly as he could make it. He must have been right because the termaxxi flushed white again and perked up immediately. Her entire demeanour changing from slightly dour to barely contained excitement in the flash of a chromatophore.

Paulie smiled as she cut the link with promises of tasty treats and quickly washed and dressed. Ten minutes later he was in the hall, knocking on her door with his armour and greatcoat on. His two pistols strapped to his sides and a newfound feeling of self worth flowing through him.

As the door opened Jakiikii ushered him inside and closed the door behind him quickly before scampering off towards her own kitchenette area. She gestured for him to sit and he did, looking around her living quarters as he did so.

It wasn’t the first time he had been in her apartment, but it was the first time he had taken such care to notice how she lived. Her bed was a mess of sheets piled high in what he could only call a nest, the pillows seemingly lining the bottom of this fabric crater to create quite a cozy looking hollow.

He looked to the far wall, her own synthscreen was tuned to some unknown jungle-like vista. The dense miasma of tangled vines and explosive blooms made his eyes swim, but he supposed that Jakiikii with her superhuman perception would have had no trouble navigating such an overgrown maze.

He looked around and noticed that aside from her bedding and the alien form of the electron rifle leaning up against the nearby wall, she was nearly devoid of personal belongings. She had no artwork or picture frames, no dresser for excess clothing and no bedside table upon which she could place personal effects. In fact, he could not so much as recall a single time she had shown ID or personal information other than the XNA print she used at the complex and her room’s lasercard.

Paulie wasn’t given any real time to reflect on the oddity of the situation before the object of his secret attentions herself strutted proudly from the kitchen with a myriad of dishes clutched in every arm. He smiled at the sight, she would have made one hell of a waitress back on Earth, her uncanny grace and supernatural coordination would have made her the envy of any serving captain and their crew.

She reached the table and placed the dishes down in an array before Paulie as she gestured for him to scoot closer to the table.

As he did so he was about to ask her what she was doing, when she whipped out another stool and planted herself down directly beside him with a small grunt.

She was close again, close enough that he could smell her. That strange alien musk, almost earthy but with hints of sweet nectar and spicy herbs. He smiled at her, her need for close company clearly on display. And he wasn’t exactly objecting to her nearness either, his own feelings aside, he liked her as a good friend too and wanted to make her comfortable.

So he gave her a bright smile despite the strange hole that was opening in his middle and asked, “So, what should I try first?”

He watched as she smiled, her dainty mouth cracking open slightly as the very tip of her bright pink tongue poked out. “Oh, you must try the curgs. I boiled them last night to remove the skins and then froze them so it was easier to mince them to the proper consistency.

As she continued to speak about her cooking exploits he saw her face light up more and more. Her speaking becoming slightly more breathy as her lower torso’s breathing slits flared. Her eyes alighted on each dish in turn and he realised with a start that she had made food that she herself could not enjoy.

As a nectarivore, she could only drink fluids, and most of the foods she had prepared for his breakfast feast were solid. It was at that point that he realised she must have always been preparing dishes like this despite the fact she herself could not enjoy them. How many times had Jakiikii practiced cooking for others? And for what purpose, he assumed that it may have been a type of hobby. Something she could do to pass time perhaps?

With a small smile, Paulie leaned forwards and placed one of his hands on her shoulder. The act causing Jakiikii to freeze mid word and switch her attention to him with a slight intake of breath from the vents on her back. A slight shiver went through her body and for a second he feared he had crossed some unspoken line, but she shook herself and returned his warm look a second later.

“I am sure everything will be delicious. And I assume you already checked it for biological compatibility?” She nodded to him and he patted her shoulder again, a flash of white going through her as she shifted on the stool like she was trying to decide which way to run. “Which one is the curgs?”

Jakiikii giggled, her husky feminine voice striking at Paulie’s heart as she reached for a plate covered in small golden cubes. “This one here. W-would you like some syrup?”

He gave her another smile as he grabbed the fork-like utensil she had also provided.

“Yes, some syrup sounds delightful.”

She seemed to shiver again and then handed him the bottle. He smiled, despite the longing he felt for her company, he knew that it was improper of him to expect her to feel any more for him than she felt for Mack or any other she might seek safety with. She was just so damn cute though, and he soon found himself laughing along with her as they delighted in each other's company before they were called to war.