Chapter 22. Ron Jeremy

After the incident with the terrifying creature that appeared on our bridge out of thin air, Tiff took some time to give us a rundown of what we were up against.

The Universal Council was an amalgamation of races from across the universe. The most powerful and influential members of member galaxies would apply for membership. To gain a seat on The Council, one would need to be sponsored and have the resources to affect change in their galaxy.

Most galaxies' governments were monarchal, though there were some that were some variations of a democratic republic.

The Monarch of a member galaxy could appoint a representative to hold a seat on the council, and democracies would vote a member in. The vote, however, was almost never legitimate.

The Council controlled the largest most powerful army in the universe. The army was made up of pledge troops from each council member, so the troops' races were widely varied. The only good news I managed to take from the whole conversation is that the universe was big; like so big that it was hard to wrap my head around. This was a good thing; it meant the Council couldn’t be everywhere at once and it was possible to sow the seeds of rebellion if one could be strategic in their planning.

The current problem is we were in the dimension created and controlled by the master AI race. The race known as the Maribitti were similar to Tiff’s people, although these AI chose not to lower themselves by taking on true bodies. Instead, they existed in a sort of universal cloud. They looked down on the Sapere for choosing to take on physical bodies, and there was some bad blood there.

The Maribitti were subservient to the Council, much like the Sapere. However, instead of providing bodies to support the Dungeon, they created and ran it.

This meant that the Council had a lot of power inside the dungeon universe. That explained how the Enforcer General was able to appear on our ship. The AI transported it here.

A seed of an idea was beginning to form in my mind as Tiff explained.

“Tiff, what are the chances that we can recruit the Maribitti to our cause?” I asked.

“Not likely,” she said, “The Maribitti are under the control of the Council, true, but they are mostly left alone. They create and run the dungeons, so the Council understands that they need them.”

“They aren’t used and discarded like my people. Instead, they are allowed to run the dungeon mostly as they see fit.”

“I get what you’re saying, but they seem to have a pretty high opinion of themselves. There is no way that they are just okay with the Council controlling them,” I said.

“If we can rally them to our cause it would be exactly the kind of support we need to really strike a blow against the Council. The dungeon is their toy, it allows them to have some sort of control over the assimilation of new planets. If we can take that control away, it will splinter their members and create chaos. I think it's at least worth a shot.”

Tiff sat in silence; she was obviously considering this as a viable option.

“We would have to figure out how to contact them, and I couldn’t be the one doing the talking. They don’t hold the Sapere in high esteem. There is a chance that you could send a message from the Containment facility. It will have a connection to the AI network,” she took on a serious tone as she spoke.

“Andrew, this is very risky. The Maribitti are an arrogant race. The chances of them receiving your message and not sharing it with the Council are slim. You need to consider the risk here before we move forward with this idea.”

“I’ll need to run it past Princess Denae as well. I can't leave her in the dark on this. She might be able to help us create the message as well,” Tiff said.

“Okay, do what you need to do. I will need an answer before we attempt the EVAC though,” I said.

Over the next few days, we continued with our training. It was a never-ending cycle of sleep, wake up, train, warp.

CJ and I spent several hours in the VCR training together. He was getting really good at piloting the drop suit and I was more than excited to have some backup. There were some hiccups though.

“Ugh, that fucking stings!” CJ said as his drop suit hit the ground having been disabled by a punch from me in simulation.

Even though CJ wasn’t physically in the suit, he was controlling it through a quantum neural connection. This meant that, while he wouldn’t necessarily take any mortal wounds during combat, it would still hurt if he took major damage.

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“I told you that you need to learn to defend that right cross,” I shrugged and laughed.

“Dude, you’re literally wearing a super suit. How do I defend against that, you asshole?” he whined as he got up from the control station.

Elvis had created interface stations on the bridge and in the VCR so CJ could be physically in the room when we train.

“CJ terrible fighter heh heh,” Elvis chuckled, “He is not warrior Captain, he should be mopping floors…CJ a piece of shit.” Elvis for some reason decided to chime in and hit CJ where it hurts one more time.

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “What the hell, Elvis? Take it easy, man. CJ has come a long way in a short time. He is going to cover my back when we’re in the containment facility.”

“Hey Elvis, why don’t you go to computer hell you, overgrown iPad!?” CJ shook his fist and shouted at the ceiling.

“Okay, calm down guys. You two have worked together well over the last few days so let’s not throw that all away,” I said as I walked over to CJ.

“You’re getting better, bro. You are good with the guns but there are going to be times you have to fight in close quarters. Just keep working on it and I’ll have Elvis set up some combat simulations for you. We have done everything we can do right now. We will be at the edge of the containment facility dampening range in a few hours. Let’s go to the bridge and make sure we have the plan down.”

We left the VCR and headed to the bridge where Tiff was going over the Exfil plans with Elvis.

“I’m worried that we won't be able to breach the outer doors security measures, Elvis. Are you sure the worm you are building will do the trick?” Tiff was asking Elvis as she bent over a console looking over the plans.

“Elvis is master of all security systems…I will slay the puny defenses the containment facility presents,” Elvis responded confidently; He was never lacking in confidence.

The plan was simple. I would be transported to the containment facility on the Pup. Elvis had pre-programmed the flight path so I would just need to ride. Elvis would program the ship’s transponder to mimic a resupply vessel, and he was confident that we would be allowed into the cargo bay. The biggest issue is that the ships were usually unmanned. There was no need for anyone to physically enter the AI housing section of the facility.

In order to get in, Elvis had created a worm that would effectively kill the facility's internal recognition system. We wouldn’t need credentials to enter. The problem is that the security system would be activated once we tampered with it.

“Well, we knew we were going to have to fight. At least this way, we know when we're going to have to fight,” I said looking at CJ and Tiff.

There were three levels to the containment facility. It was shaped like a giant spinning top with a wide circular disc-like center and the top and bottom of the facility each extended out to a point.

Elvis stated that the points acted as antennae for the communications array on the facility.

The large round center portion was the AI housing section. Tiff’s body would be in stasis in that area. There would be a hallway running around the circumference of the center section. The top section held all of the environmental controls, as well as the power station and any other area relevant to maintaining the facility.

The bottom section was security. This is where the autonomous mechs and mech-guards would be stored. There was one entrance elevator to this area, so the plan was for CJ to take the drop suit straight to the elevator and plant some explosives on the entrance.

There would be one active security crew on patrol, but we wanted to ensure that we didn’t have any extra company.

While CJ did that, I would proceed immediately to the stasis chamber and retrieve Tiff's body before heading back to the Pup.

It seemed like a good plan; I trusted that Elvis and Tiff had a good idea of what we could expect.

“We are approaching perimeter of dampening field, Captain,” Elvis announced. “I have also located a cloaked vessel approximately one quarter light day from the facility.”

“That is the Burning Retribution; Denae knows we’re here,” Tiff stood up and looked toward the bridge display. “Elvis, show coordinates on the main display.”

“Showing coordinates now,” Elvis said.

“She wants to see if you are going to be able to do it. If she thinks you are going to fail, she will make a move to commandeer The Bloodhound,” Tiff turned and looked at me, concern visible on her face.

“Elvis, what is the biggest gun on The Bloodhound?” I asked.

“Oooh Captain, Elvis been waiting for this moment,” Elvis said in an almost sexual tone.

“Geez man, bring it down a notch. Just tell me what we have,” I said, feeling a little icky.

“The Bloodhound has an array of defensive measures, but the biggest is the enhanced electromagnetic railgun. Elvis renamed it the Ron Jeremy because it's big, it packs a punch, and leaves a gaping hole wherever it hits,” he replied.

“Uuh o-okay, let’s revisit that name a little later. Is that gun capable of disabling that ship?” I asked.

“Yes, Captain. I am familiar with the Retribution, it is a stealth attack class ship common in the Havokium fleet,” Elvis replied. “Elvis can fuck them up. Elvis is strong.”

“Yeah buddy, I don’t doubt that, but you will be disabled. Will the sub-minds you leave behind to pilot the ship be able to do the same?” I asked.

“Yes Captain, the sub-minds are not capable of independent thought, but they operate at levels far above any Earth computer. They will have no issue,” he said.

I looked at Tiff and smiled.

“Has Denae contacted you lately?” I asked, “since you ignored her orders I mean.”

Tiff looked at me trying to figure out where I was going with this, “N-no, she hasn’t made contact since. I haven’t tried to contact her either.”

“You might wanna get ready to have a chat with her,” I said, “I want you to ask her to accept our hail.”

“Trying now…no response,” Tiff said.

“Let's give her one more chance because I’m in a good mood,” I said, still smiling.

“Still no response, Captain,” Tiff said looking frustrated.

“Elvis, I want you to point the Ron Jeremy to fire directly above the bridge of The Retribution,” I said.

“YES, YES, I have dreamed of this, Captain! It is done!” Elvis was shouting triumphantly.

“What are you doing, Captain?!” Tiff shouted.

I looked over at CJ who was steadily sucking on his vape, a wry smile on his face as well.

“Elvis…Fire the Ron Jeremy!”