Hidan: Bounty Hunter Extraordinaire

I only realised I had no fucking idea where I was after nearly a solid day of aimless wandering. I used Jashin’s ability to detect killers to avoid wandering Shinobi; four days later it helped me find a bounty station. Jashin detected that a large amount of killers frequented a seemingly innocuous building in a small, non-ninja village and I felt it would be worth checking out.

I hadn’t spent all that time simply stumbling about; by tying my bags to my scythe I not only increased the weight (already enhanced by the now rotting corpse attached) to potentially increase my swing speed, I also freed up a hand to read scrolls with.

Admittedly, being on the run wasn't the best place to sit down and train; I wanted to get the fuck outta dodge before war broke out over the now available territory. The only thing I really managed was dodging ninjas from a great distance, repeatedly swinging my scythe with one or both hands, reading basic scrolls (not wanting to risk the rarer stuff out in the open), and practicing basic chakra control exercises. I’m just glad it never rained and ruined all my swag!

Actually walking into the benign looking little restaurant was daunting until I realised I probably didn’t actually have a bounty; who’s gonna post it from a nation with no survivors or witnesses? With a good deal of false bravado I entered the little restaurant, attempting to ignore the looks people gave me. Oddly, entering a restaurant with a partially decomposed body impaled on a scythe only got me a few raised eyebrows and a couple wrinkled noses.

I glanced around; the place was rather quant and old fashioned, a fire-lit atmosphere enhanced by dark wooden walls and furniture. The food looked and smelled decent enough, but Jashin assured me that food, water, and even air were unnecessary for me (which explained why Hidan could still talk without lungs) and I wasn’t one to waste money I don’t have on luxuries I don’t need.

A helpful patron with an unnaturally blank face glanced at the corpse I’ve been lugging around and pointed to the bathroom; likely seeing my inexperience with bounty hunting and deciding to help a newcomer. Nice guy; I’ll kill him quick if it comes down to it.

I walked into the unsurprisingly clean bathroom, looking around for any sign of where the station might be. I was about to start knocking on walls when Jashin spoke up, “Death radiates from behind the second stall; many killers, both dead and alive, have passed through that stall. The other stalls are nearly untouched.” Well, that solves that problem then.

I open the stall, noticing the lack of a toilet right away but not seeing any means of ingress. As far as I could tell the wall was perfectly smooth and seamless; not even a hint of a door. Frowning, I decided to try knocking on the wall; if that didn’t work I could always try knocking it down, though somehow I don’t think that’s a good idea considering the more experienced bounty hunters I’ll likely piss off with such a move.

Fortunately, before I could move past merely contemplating whether it was worth it to piss off a shit load of ninjas, a rectangular seam appeared in the wall slightly below eye level. The sectioned off part of the wall slid back before sliding to the right, revealing a pair of suspicious brown eyes staring out. “I don’t recognise you.”

I smirked, “I’m new,” I moved my scythe (and more importantly, the dead body attached) into view, “But I’m pretty sure he isn’t.”

He glanced at the dead Anbu before looking back at me, “Hmph, a newbie taking out an Anbu huh? Guess Kakuzu was wrong about each generation only getting weaker as time goes on.“ Huh, sounds about right; grumpy bastard would say something like that. “Alright kid, give me a sec’ to open the door and I’ll get’cher money once I verify the validity and identity of the body.”

I raise an eyebrow, “Do people often try to screw you over?” I’m not truly surprised, but fostering a good relationship with those who pay me is probably a good idea.

He laughs, “You have no idea how many people have shown up with one of Orochimaru’s shed skins and tried to claim the bounty on his head.”

I snickered as the wall followed the eye slot’s example, revealing what appeared to be a small morgue. “I can imagine that would get old fast.” I joked as I stepped into the room. The short, balding man that seemed to run this place gestured at one of the medical slabs.

With a flick of my wrist the corpse flew off my scythe to land on the table with a dull thud. The station master gave me a queer look before shaking his head. I thought I heard a mutter of “Damn over eager beginners; always trying to show off…” but I'm sure it was just the wind. Indoors. Yeah.

The man pulled on some surgical gloves and set about examining the body, humming tunelessly as he worked. A few moments of seemingly purposeless examinations of random body parts passed before he actually started looking closely at the face. “Word to the wise kid; try not to damage the face too much. Makes these examinations much harder and some places will detract from yer pay if ya make ‘em use other verification methods.” He sent me an aside glance before returning to his work, “Yer knew to this business so I'll let cha off with a warning this time.”

I repressed the urge to sigh; I just knew crushing his head would come back to bite me. I’m just lucky the poor sucker was sympathetic or I would be out some cash. I started surreptitiously glancing about under the (not entirely inaccurate) guise of just examining the station as a newb bounty hunter; what I was really looking for was where he kept the cash. Why bother doing the actual work when I can just kill this weak, middle-aged man and steal it instead?

‘Because his weakness is likely a facade and I would almost certainly get banned from the industry immediately once word gets out (which it would.)’, I thought as the man who looked to have gone to seed was suddenly in my face when I took a bit too much interest in his desk.

“Exploring another man’s space is not a good thing to be caught doing, boy. Try not to be so obvious with your planning.” HIs expression gave nothing of his thoughts away, utterly blank like it was formed from coloured stone.

I hid my nervousness with an obfuscating smirk, “Planning?” I questioned lightly, “You think I’m dumb enough to shit where I eat?” I snorted, “If I robbed you not only would all those bounty hunters out there attack me, but when I killed them I wouldn’t be able to collect there bounties because I’d be blacklisted from the business.”

His expression melted slightly, becoming less unnatural before he raised his eyebrow, “When you kill them?” He grunted amusedly, “You’re sure confident for a rookie… confidence kills, kid.” He moved back to his examination, “A word of advice kid; never get too confident or someone you dismissed as not a threat will be the one turning in your head here.”

My smirk grew slightly wider, ‘It’s hardly overconfidence if they really can’t kill me.’ I thought. Though that doesn’t make the advice bad; always take every fight seriously.

My attention was drawn back to the station attendant as he cleared his throat and moved over to the desk I had been investigation earlier. “Alright kid,” That was getting more than a touch annoying, this body is an adult damn it! And even if it wasn’t, the one I left behind sure was. “This looks legit.” He reached down and opened up a drawer I’m certain wasn’t there when I was inspecting it and pulled out a briefcase and a scroll. He started to rapidly pull large stacks of money from the scroll and place them in the briefcase; so rapidly in fact that I’m certain he was trying to screw me over by not giving me the full bounty. “There ya go; two hundred and fifty three thousand five hundred and seventy nine ryo.” Huh, how pedantically and oddly specific.

The moment he handed it to me I started counting each ryo but gave up after realising it was far too boring to hold my attention for more than a couple seconds and I really didn’t care. I ignored the plebian chuckling over my checking and simply looked for for trackers and bombs, which did in fact result in me counting the money… or rather Jashin counting the money. Apparently she could see through my eyes and see the general area around me; kinda like a text based (she has to describe what she sees, rather than me being able to just see what she sees) Byakugan without the blindspot if ya think about it. Considering she has way better perception than me (being a god has its perks; quite a few of them actually) it was easy for her to count the bills as I flipped through them. On the upside; he didn’t cheat me. On the downside; he did slip a tracking device in.

The fact that a world without cars has fucking mini-tracking devices and TVs and shit still baffles me.

I subtly (as I could anyway) palmed the tracker from my money. I nodded to the man as I walked out of the (slightly perversely) hidden bounty office, tossing the tracker into some sucker’s soup as I walked out the door.

Well, that was a worthwhile trip; I’m leaving some two hundred thousand ryo richer and one rotting body lighter, a good trade! Come to think of it; any trade of rotting anything for cash is probably a good trade…

Whistling merrily as I walked out of the little village (fuck inns, I don’t sleep so the damn parasites can't suck me dry!) and went searching for a nice, quiet place to train. After only five or six hours of solid, non-stop running (infinite stamina for the win!) I came across a little clearing in the middle of nowhere that seemed perfect for my purposes.

I nodded to myself, approaching a tree with a determined look on my face; might as well start with the most basic of techniques, the surface clinge. Hopefully my body’s muscle memories would kick in and speed up these early stages but it’s best to just give it a shot.

I placed a hand against a tree, deciding to cheat a little by using the easiest place to channel chakra rather than the hardest to start with. I focused for a moment, feeling my chakra move through my body like a horrific, semi-gaseous parasite infused throughout my body before pushing it towards my hand and into the tree before me. A second later I had wooden shrapnel embedded in my mangled hand and face.

I stared at the ruins of my hand with my single eye for a moment, too stunned to even think. Slowly, my gaze shifted to the tree; only to widen in even greater shock. Apparently I channeled way, way too much chakra into the technique because the tree looked like fucking bomb went off on the trunk, reducing a significant portion to so much mulch; in fact, a portion of the tree larger than my own body was simply gone

Huh, why did no one ever think to weaponize this? If you deliberately fail the surface cling right as you hit something it would be like a cut rate Explosion release or super… strength. A grin spread across my face as I started pulling the shrapnel from my body, starting with my left eye. The sucking sound my eye socket made as the six inch wood chip was pulled out was more than a touch disturbing, but with Jashin fucking with my nervous system to turn what pain wasn’t suppressed to pleasure it only freaked my the fuck out rather than sending me to the ground in screaming agony.

I blinked my damaged eye several times, smiling as my vision was slowly restored. Looks like Tsunade’s super strength wasn’t all that special really; just a deliberate and refined failure of the surface cling. Admittedly, the way it’s described implies it takes a lot more control than I possess to get it to Tsunade’s level, but it’s still a rather simple technique at its heart.

Of course, before I can even think of weaponizing failure I need to learn how to succeed. Attempting to stick my foot to a tree (like a goddamned pleb) resulted in the same thing; me with hamburger for a leg and a tree blown to smithereens. Turns out, Hidan has a fuck-load of chakra; he just never got famous for it ‘cause he never used it for anything. Well, I’m not so foolish as to let a resource like this go to waste!

Of course, having an ungodly (or extremely holy, as Jashin insisted) amount of chakra only brought control into even greater importance. I soon came to the realisation of just why Hidan never used any techniques; they would all fucking explode from being massively overcharged! I had more chakra than goddamn Naruto (sans-bijuu) as an adult! I kept blowing up trees no matter how little chakra I tried to put into trying to stick to them. (Regrowing limbs gets real old real fast, I soon found.)

I grit my teeth in frustration, “There is no fucking way I’m letting too much chakra keep me from being awesome, damn it!” I kicked a nearby tree in rage, splintering the wood from my bodies unaugmented strength. Canon Hidan was capable of at least the fucking surface cling, why can’t I! Hell, earlier I managed to use chakra to manipulate the cord of my scythe on pure instinct! How could this be so much harder?

Jashin was no help here; not being even remotely human she had no experience using chakra (apparently the energy gods used was different) and had even less experience training, she just always knew what she could do and how to do it (though, she did say that lately she’s been curious about her capabilities).

Turns out, anger isn’t exactly conducive to finesse and the slightly diminished explosions I was producing got significantly larger. Frowning, I sat down with a huff, “Fuckin’ trees… I’mma level Konoha just to get revenge on the damn trees…” I petulantly grumbled. Laying back I stared up at the clouds with a sigh, “This is gonna take a while…”

And take a while it did; three weeks and over twenty acres of shredded trees later I finally managed to stick to one with only minor cracks radiating from the point of contact! Honestly I’m surprised the endless (almost rhythmic) explosions day and night didn’t attract any curious ninjas; though they may have thought a high level battle was going on and didn’t want to get caught in the middle of it. Like cowardly rats, these ninjas.

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A massive smile spread across my face as I slowly placed one foot in front of the other and walked up the tree, only greatly weakening its structural stability rather than blowing it to pieces. I was inordinately proud of myself for managing the most basic ninja technique; but hell, you need to take pride in yourself or you’ll go mad. “Hahahahahahahahaha!” Okay, the cackling may be taking it a tiny bit too far; maybe I already sailed past “mad” on a jet ski full of cocaine.

A creaking sound drew my gaze to my feet. My smile faded as I saw just how damaged the tree was from my continued presence. I jumped off, landing a few feet away as the large and numerous cracks across the tree groaned ominously. A few seconds passed in relative silence before the tree gave one last sad groan and collapsed to the ground in pieces.

I stared at the rubble for a long moment, even Jashin was silent in my thoughts. “Huh… guess I need even more practice than I thought.” I mumbled, sheepishly scratching the back of my head. Jashin’s voice tore me from my thoughts.

“Four shinobi are approaching; three in a semi-circle behind you and one coming straight in front. Judging by the blood they’ve spilt the one coming head on is a Jounin and the other three are somewhat seasoned Genin.” I frowned, seems these ninjas are closer to vultures than rats; a much more respectable thing to be in my opinion (there is nothing as disgusting as a parasite; better a scavenger than a parasite).

“Thank you Jashin; I’ll kill them in your name.” It was an ease promise to make; I had no intention of letting any information get out at this stage. Just letting them go was never an option. I’m sure Jashin knew this (she can read my fucking mind after all), but she didn’t seem bothered by my hazy dedication to mass murder.

I didn’t bother turning to face the Genin; no strategy mere Genin could come up with would bother me, especially considering they don’t know I’m a True Immortal. ...Well, at least I think so; not sure what would happen if they atomized me (nor am I willing to test it).

“You would be fine; as my champion I possess your soul, what happens to your body is irrelevant. As our relationship gets stronger and you sacrifice more souls to me, my grasp gets stronger on your soul and you literally grow closer to the center of my being. This comes with a number of benefits… but I do not think now is the best time to discuss such.” Well… that’s interesting; both somewhat comforting (True Immortality bitches!) and somewhat disturbing (my soul is swimming in evil…). Good to have that confirmed, but even if atomization could kill me, I highly doubt any Genin could achieve such a glorious feat of annihilation.

The Jonin walked out of a section of undamaged trees as cocky as could be; fucker was damn sure he could take me. This green-haired, blue-eyed bitch is gonna fucking choke on that smile.

I smirked, resting my scythe on my shoulder as he opened his mouth to spew some nonsense. I cut him off before he could flap his gums, “Wow, you must really not care about your Genin.”

He blinked, taken off guard by my statement (and possibly noticing my subtle assertion of dominance by speaking first). “What?” he asked stupidly, a confused and startled expression on his face.

My smirk grew, “Your little students up in the trees. You must really not give a shit what happens to them to take them with you to fight me. Need some meat shields, eh?”

His smug expression returned, though it was noticeably false and shaken. “I highly doubt someone like you could take a team of Genin, even if I did have any. Which I don't.”

My smirk turned to a grin as I heard one of the aforementioned Genin shift in the tree behind me, disrupting some leafs in a very noticeable manner. I raised an eyebrow mockingly, “That so, huh? ‘Spose ya wouldn't mind if I killed those brats then, would ya? Maybe have some fun with the girly?” I was never a very moral man, but even I could tell that having my soul submersed in the essence of a god of evil al-la Angra Manyu was having rather noticeable effects if I was (more than) contemplating raping a teenage girl. I mean, by this cultures standards she was an adult the moment she put on the headband (likely to compensate for this exact scenario, come to think of it), but she sure as fuck wasn't by mine. Meh, can't exactly be the champion of a god like Jashin if ya let little things like any remnant of morality still floating around in your head bother you; besides, it's not like it ever stopped anyone in my world even when it was way less culturally acceptable.

His face went cold, blue eyes hardening to resemble ice. I could see he was about to go into some impassioned speech about killing me ‘cause I'm a rabid animal or a monster or whatever. This time I didn't even have to interrupt him myself; his Genin did it for me!

The dumbass who disturbed the leafs leapt out with a snarl, aiming his kunai to slam into the top of my head. He was coming from behind and to the left, as if he thought being on the opposite shoulder to my scythe would help him.

My arm moved back, sloping my scythe towards the ground before jerking sharply downwards; slamming all three blades into the brash youth’s chest. His small size meant the massive blades nearly bisected him even just with a stab, the top blade impaled through his groin.

I carried through with the strike, driving both blades and boy into the earth before me. A massive grin stretched across my face as I made sure to lock my near lustful purple eyes with the shocked and horrified blue of the Jounin before I ripped the blade back, tearing out through the boy’s skull and dragging what innards weren't sliced apart out of his body.

His intestines and a couple organs trailed behind my blade as I whirled around to block the sword swipe a more competent ninja aimed at my back. I nearly applauded the brave and ice cold Genin for seeing his teammate’s death as an opportunity to kill me while my blade was busy. Nearly.

Instead I blocked his swipe with the haft of my scythe, pulling the blades back from where they loomed behind him. To my mild surprise he almost managed to dodge, only losing his sword arm instead of his head. Even with the mild respect (honestly, this Genin could have gone places if he hadn't met me) I held for the child I wasn't dumb enough to leave an enemy alive when they still had enough limbs to attack me. My left hand shot forward and grabbed his face, crushing his skull between my fingers in a single squeeze.

I laughed at the sounds of the remaining Genin puking from her position paralyzed with fear on her tree; idiot, what did she expect when she became a Shinobi? Death and worse lurk around every corner when you fly the colours; what her friends got is a mercy compared to what I'll do to her.

My psychotic grin added a bit of lust to its normal bloodlust as I felt Jashin’s approval of my plans. My musings were interrupted by a sword skewering me through the back, penetrating my heart and exploding out my chest. Honestly, I’m surprised this didn’t happen earlier; despite my immense strength, decent skill (mostly do to Hidan’s muscle memories), and creativity, I had no real training and had mostly been running on luck to pull off the cool shit I did.

I turned my head to look at the Jounin’s grim face, blood dripping out through my grin. I coughed out a spray of blood as he pulled his blade from my chest, stumbling forward a few steps before collapsing to the earth. I listened as Jashin described what my eyes couldn’t see; the Jounin stepped forward to comfort the Genin girl who apparently fell from the tree while I was distracted by being stabbed.

As he wrapped comforting arms around her in a distinctly familial embrace I noticed the similarities between the two. Blue eyes, green hair, tanned skin; they looked too similar to not be related. Hmhmhmhmhm, I’m gonna make him suffer.

I rose silently like the specter of death behind him; a sickle like grin spread across my face as I drew back my scythe. I dashed forward and slammed my blades through the back of both his knees; drawing a pained scream from his lips. A cruel laugh leaked from my savage grin as I twisted my blade to draw more screams from him before pulling it to the side; severing one leg and leaving the other dangling by a few scraps of flesh.

My laughter spiked as I grabbed his forehead, pulling his head back as I hooked my scythe under his right arm. “Is she your daughter?” I asked, deceptively lightly before pulling my blade back, severing his arm. “Or perhaps your sister?” Another question, another arm.

I didn’t bother waiting for him to answer (I rather doubt he would have even if I had; he seemed rather preoccupied with screaming) and instead wrapped a hand around his throat and lifted him into the air. I smirked into his face, “I suppose it doesn’t really matter; you care for her, and thusly I can hurt you through her…“ I didn’t bother to tell him I was going to do this regardless; let him think he caused her suffering. I carried him a short distance to the very tree his likely daughter fell from. Slamming my scythe into the ground I unsheathed his blade from its sheath, making a show of examining it before ramming all three feet through his gut and into the tree behind him. I smiled at him, watching as he cringed before pulling out a kunai. “I can’t have you closing those eyes, now can I?” With a near gentle smile I sliced off his eyelids; he won’t be needing them soon anyway.

Wiping my kunai off on his chest and tucking it back into its pouch I turned towards the girl, smirking at her paralysed form. She was just so fucking pathetic; how did she ever expect to be a ninja if she freezes in the face of danger? Maybe she didn't; perhaps her father forced her down the same path he took? Well then, looks like he may be suffering more than I thought.

I paused in my approach, turning to look at the man behind me thoughtfully. ‘Can I force my curse technique on others? Like, if I make someone else perform the ritual against their will, would it still work even if they’re not a Jashinist?’ I didn't really have to, but I deliberately sent my thoughts to Jashin none the less.

A moment passed before she replied, “Normally no. But as you’re my champion, I'll allow it.”

A dark grin spread across my face as I reached out and scooped up some of the blood flowing from one of the man's arms. Seeing the girl starting to actually wake up from whatever catatonia she had fallen into I dashed over to her, grabbing her face and hooking my fingers on her jaw bone, using the leverage to force it open. I couldn’t help but laugh as I poured her father’s blood down her throat, using the same hand that forced open her mouth to massage her throat, forcing her to swallow. My laughter grew higher in pitch as I cut open her forehead, drawing enough blood to form the ritual circle.

Malice rolled off me like a toxic miasma as I watched her skin blacken and white, bone like markings spread across her. Turning my head, I smiled at her father… before slamming the back of my scythe into her jaw, sending her shattered teeth down her throat. Based on the gurgling scream her father gave the curse was in full effect; perfect.

I pulled my cock out with an evil smile (huh, Hidan really was blessed) and rammed it down her throat (turns out, blood, tears, and saliva make decent lube). She was tight in a way only the unwilling (or very experienced) can be (though her age may have something to do with that), her throat writhing and spasming around me. The warm, wet tightness combined with the spasming felt divine (especially since Jashin seemed to fully agree); though what really pushed me over the edge was the look of hopeless misery and despair in her eyes.

She choked even more as I came down her throat, making sure to pull out enough to splatter some on her face and bleeding gums. She coughed and sputtered, vomiting a pinkish mix of fluids onto the ground and all over herself. Her wide tear filled eyes stayed firmly locked on the ground: perhaps she thought this was the end? Honestly, she should hope I keep going; the longer she entertains me, the longer she lives… though she may not prefer that all things considered.

I reached forward, grasping the hem of her dress. With my great strength tearing the piece of clothing was beyond simple. She screamed more, actually trying to crawl away for the first time. I may have dislocated her hips when I roughly spread her legs apart, but I can’t say I really care either way.

I ripped her pink polka dot panties (really? Seriously, how the hell did she think she could be a kunoichi like this) off, lining myself up with her pink slit before pausing. I turned to look back at her father, grinning at him as I reversed my position, insuring his lidless eyes (that seemed to have gone hazy from blood loss) could see as I entered her. I wonder if he’ll be able to feel it as if he had a vagina to violate or if it’ll simply feel like a strange pain in his groin?

My turgid cock speared the girls virgin flower like a harpoon stabbing a mouse, eliciting a scream of agony and violation from her and a hopeless moan from her father. Her pussy was even tighter than her throat and as a plus, I didn’t get shards of teeth embedded in my dick! A few minutes of thrusting later and I once more emptied my balls insider her; though, judging by the way she begged and pleaded she considered this much worse. I’m not quite sure why; it’s not like she’s gonna live long enough for pregnancy to be an issue.

Cum and blood (confirming her former virginity… or maybe my dick was just to huge for her? Possibly the shards of teeth getting dislodged inside her?) leaked from her violated pussy as I shifted her in my lap; positioning myself to line up with her ass. Hopefully blood and cum will make good enough lube that I won’t get friction burns; that would kind of suck, though not much worse than the shards of teeth did.

I spared her father a glance, frowning at what I saw; seems he either had or was very nearly bled out (though I’m fairly certain he’s at least still alive considering the girl’s skin hasn’t turned back). Well then, guess I’ll have to hurry up if I want him to feel this last part; sepsis and exsanguination wait for no man!

Even with a body almost as broken as her soul, the girls instincts still had her clenching to prevent my intrusion. It did her little good (probably just made it worse honestly); she had nowhere near enough strength to stop me. I groaned somewhat as I entered her last virgin hole; her ass was by far her tightest hole, almost uncomfortably so.

While lacking the natural lubrication of both her mouth and cunt, the shear tightness of her ass more than made up for it. My cock was so sensitive from cuming twice in quick seccesion (thank Jashin for taking away my refractory period) it didn’t take long to reach orgasm once again.

I stood up, letting her fall to the ground as she slipped off my cock. Leaning down, I grabbed her hair and used it to pull her into a kneeling position; she didn’t even have it in her to whimper any more. I started humming as I tugged on my cord to pull my scythe to my hand from where it was stabbed into the ground next to the Jounin’s tree.

I brought the blades to her violated crotch, sticking the top most blade in. That seemed to get her attention as she somehow found the energy to scream again. She stopped when I pulled sharply upwards, divesting her of her innards. Her internal organs spilled onto the ground as I pulled my scythe from her chest and throat. I watched almost boredly as the same wound was replicated on her father; the sadistic rush is kinda lost when they’re not conscious to feel the pain.

In the end they meant nothing to me; just toys to sate my lust and malice on. I didn’t care that they were important to someone; so long as that someone isn’t me they may as well be living dolls for all I care. Perhaps this whole bout of savage cruelty was a result of Jashin lowering my inhibitions, perhaps it was just the thought that no one I cared about would be hurt by my actions, perhaps it was the freedom and sense of detachment one gets when torn from their home world; regardless the result was the same. Funny just how much evil one is willing to commit to strangers, eh?

I walked forward, pulling my bingo book from my pocket and flicking through it to see if the man had a bounty. Using my scythe to push his head back to get a better look at him, turning his head this way and that and comparing his image to a few different pictures (it’s surprising just how many green haired, blue eyes Jounin there are) before smirking in triumph. “Heh, lucky me; another bounty just drops into my lap.”

I blinked as he fell to the earth at my feet, the massive wound covering his entire abdomen enabling his body to twist enough for the blade to cut through him rather than hold him in place. Shrugging I reached down, grabbing him by his hair like I had his daughter and tossing him into the air; skewering him on my blade just like my last bounty.

Whistling a merry tune I collected my bags from where I set them before beginning training and set off towards the only bounty station I knew. I didn’t even glance back at the Genin’s corpses; why should I care for broken toys?

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This time my entrance caused a bit of a stir; apparently a corpse impaled on a scythe with a slit throat is less disturbing than a man who was obviously torture to death. Hmph, fucking double standards! Even so, no one bothered me as I walked to the restroom.

The station keeper merely raised an eyebrow at the state the body was in, “Wow, you’re one twisted son of bitch, aren’t ya?” Shaking his head, he examined the body, taking far less time than previously (possibly due to the corpse possessing fewer limbs, possibly because I was becoming a known factor) before handing over the money. A quick check told me there was no tracking device this time.

I smiled as I walked out; the weight of the bags I had tied around my waste reminding me it was about time I use some of my newly acquired funds to purchase some supplies. While I could probably just steal it, I would be easier to just buy it legit if I can afford it rather than go through the hassle of stealing it.

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The police chief grimaced, puffing on his cigar as he stepped from his car into the rain. His secretary helpfully held a umbrella over his head to shield him from the downpour; he offered the eager young hopeful a nod in acknowledgement. ‘Kids gonna get a real shock when he sees just how awful the world really is.’ He grimaced at the line of officers arrayed around the perimeter of the hospital. ‘Just, hopefully not today.’

He walked to the officer in charge, “What’s the situation?” He barked without preamble.

The man, a decorated veteran officer was grim faced as he turned to his superior, “Bad, sir. We received a call not long ago that some psycho was attacking the hospital.”

The chief raised an eyebrow, “Why have you not sent men in to handle this guy then?” He wasn’t surprised to see his subordinates mien grow even more grim.

“We did. We lost contact half an hour ago. Their last reports were… unsettling. And confusing.” The officer sighed, pulling out a packet of cigarettes from his shirt pocket and grimacing at its soaked state.

The chief's face hardened, “Confusing how?” He didn’t want to hear why it was disturbing, he already had a pretty good idea.

The officer’s dark eyes were haunted, “They said they shot him twenty seven times. That was before he strangled one with another’s intestines.” He pointed at a window on the third floor, “If you look closely you can probably still see him hanging there.”

That was… shocking to say the least. “Do you think drugs are involved?” Back in his days as a beat cop he once encountered a drugged up loon who seemed to shrug off damage right up until he took a round to the eye. Bastard managed to stab his partner in the throat before he took him down.

The officer gave him an incredulous look, “I don’t know what drugs you’ve seen, but I’ve never heard of anything that can let a man shrug of six rounds to the temple at point blank range like it was nothing.”

Now the chief’s eyes widened. He was about to respond when the hospital’s front door was kicked open. A man dressed in a tattered and blood-stained patient’s gown stood in the doorway, laughing psychotically and shouting in what the chief vaguely recognized as Japanese; though it was no dialect he had ever heard. The madman brandished a long amputation knife in one hand from which he licked blood… the other held a severed head, its ragged esophagus and bits of spine hanging from the shredded stump of its neck.

The man barely had time to toss the head at the line of police and SWAT before the space he occupied was filled with copious amounts of lead. The startled and enraged lawmen fired every last round they had into the deranged killer; emptying pistols, shotguns, and assault rifles into him.

A long moment of silence passed as the last gun clicked empty… then the laughing started anew.