Ray probably shouldn’t have come to class today.

Logically, they knew they wouldn’t get in trouble for skipping class. They were in college. Nobody could force them to go to 8 AM Stat. Even if they didn’t have the confidence to ghost their professor and deal with concerned questions of ‘where were you on Friday?’ when they returned, they could always send an email lying about being sick. What were they going to do, call the cops?

Except when Rey thought about lying to their professor, about simply not attending something they were supposed to attend, something inside them started screaming.

Something very different was screaming inside them right now, preventing them from concentrating on anything their professor was saying, preventing them from taking notes or learning anything at all.

Because today was Release Day.

Haunted Hearts had been the thing that got them through high school. It was such a goofy premise – paranormal investigator moves into a haunted house to befriend/romance the ghosts – but it had meant so much to them. There were over twenty different endings, characters they’d fallen in love with, and – it was such a small thing, but it was the first game they’d played that had allowed them to choose they/them as pronouns. They still remembered their finger hovering over the left mouse button, casting furtive glances over their shoulder to make sure their parents didn’t come in, and finally clicking they/them, half expecting an alarm to sound – TRANS POLICE INCOMING or something. Instead, the game had given them a cute little chibi graphic of the protagonist, Dare, grinning and flashing them a thumbs up.

It was the game that had made them decide to move out of their parents’ house.

They hadn’t come out to their parents. Not only would they definitely not be able to attend college without their parents’ money, that screaming thing inside them recoiled at the thought of disappointing them, ruining their image of their perfect daughter. They’d made excuses, told their parents that they wanted to go out into the world and get some real life experience, and moved into on-campus housing year round. They figured that if Dare could do it, go out on their own even after their family had cut them off, then they could do it.

The game was important to them, and today was the Release Day of the sequel.

They’d done their best to go entirely unspoiled. They’d played through Haunted Hearts completely blind; they would do the same with the sequel. All they knew was the title – Haunted Hearts: Rise. A little ominous for a follow-up to the happy (if a little bittersweet) True Ending of the first game. Ray was almost dreading what might befall Dare and their crew of mostly-ghostly friends and/or lovers. Unfortunately, that dread only fueled their desperation to get their hands on the sequel and absorb all of its contents immediately. Hence their total inability to concentrate on anything in this class they definitely should’ve skipped.

The game was set to release at noon in Ray’s time zone. Their class ended at 9:40. They could kill an hour and a half writing fanfiction, grab lunch, and get back in time to sit anxiously waiting for the countdown timer to morph into the Buy button. Ray snuck a glance at their phone – fate had been cruel and placed them in a classroom with no windows and no clock. 9:10. They shouldn’t have come to class, why didn’t they just sleep in…

“Ray!” Ray froze, heart thudding in their chest. They slowly raised their gaze to their professor, an older woman who seemed to intentionally target people who weren’t paying attention. She tapped the board. Projected onto it was a simple probability equation, stuff they’d learned a few classes ago. “Can you tell us what the answer to this problem is?”

The logic center of Ray’s brain lit up for roughly half a second and was immediately shut down by a flood of panic. Everyone was waiting for them to respond. What if they got it wrong? What if they said something stupid? They always said something stupid. What if they froze up and couldn’t answer at all? What if worrying about freezing up made them freeze up? What if –

Ray stared at their unimpressed professor.

They really should not have come to class today.

After about ten seconds of uninterrupted silence, the professor sighed. “Apparently not. Remember, eyes up here, Ray. You can Instagram your friends later.”

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

Ray managed to keep their eyes on their professor until she turned to face the board again.

Then they buried their face in their hands, pressing their palms into their eyes to stop the tears.

Friends.

It couldn’t have been intentional. But that offhand mention of Ray’s completely theoretical social life felt like rubbing it in.

God, life would be so much more bearable with some friends.

Release Day, Ray reminded themself. They risked another glance at their phone. 9:13.

Dare made it this far with no friends, they reminded themself. And then they made friends. It’s not too late. And until you find those friends… you’ll survive. Because they did. Their family was worse than yours, they didn’t have as many opportunities as you, get it together.

They did.

When their professor dismissed them at 9:43, they left their desk so fast they almost tripped over it.

Admittedly, it was self-indulgent of Ray to write yet another Theodore/Susan coming out one shot. Sue them. They never got the catharsis of mutual acceptance with their identity crisis, so they’ll project it onto their favorite characters, and there’s nothing you can do about it, damn it. Plus, their one gripe about Haunted Hearts was that you couldn’t matchmake Theodore and Susan, even in routes where you remained platonic with both of them. They clearly liked each other and Ray thought they’d be the best couple.

Not like they’d ever post the garbage they wrote anywhere. If even one person saw this, they’d have a heart attack.

Ray glanced at the time on their computer and nearly screamed. 11:56. They’d gotten too focused and written right through lunch. Oh well. They’d probably be able to pry themself away from the game by dinnertime. More importantly – Release Day! It was Release Day! It was nearing Release Minute!

Ray closed out of their fanfic and opened up Steam, navigating to the Haunted Hearts: Rise page. Still three minutes and four seconds until the game released. They quickly opened up their fanfic again, fixed a typo, and closed it. Two minutes and forty seconds.

The same thing always happened when Ray got close to a thing they wanted – they started having doubts. What if the game sucked? What if it ruined everyone’s characterization? What if – God forbid – this one let you date the child character? Ray had been worried about that for so long on their first playthrough of the first game, and it hadn’t happened, but what if the sequel pulled a more extreme Persona 5?

What if they hated it?

What if it ruined their beloved memories of the first game?

Fifty-eight seconds. Ray’s vision started swimming. Their breathing was coming in faster. It felt like there was a snake coiling around their heart.

Thirty-four seconds.

Well, if that happened, fuck it. The game was cheap, and Steam’s refund policy hadn’t failed them before.

Twenty-two seconds. Ray started spam-clicking the spot where they knew the Buy button would appear. It was strange – the game wasn’t all that popular, but Ray still wanted to be the first one to experience the sequel, the first one to meet Dare and their friends in a new version of the same exciting world. Because it was their world, had been for years.

Eight seconds.

It was somewhere they felt… safe.

Four seconds.

Somewhere that felt like home.

One second.

Click

Within a microsecond, the Buy button appeared, Ray pressed it, and their vision went black.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, Theo,” Susan said. She inched her hand closer to his, not quite daring to touch. “Not your face, and not your mind, either. Just like there’s nothing wrong with me.”

Theodore stared at her hand. Slowly, he brought his up to rest on the table beside hers. “I don’t know if I can believe that,” he said.

“Well,” Susan conceded, “your face could use some work. Your whole head, really. But obsessing over it won’t change anything. In fact…”

A distinctive set of rapid footsteps skidded to a stop in front of the open door. “Hey, Theo!” Dare yelled, as if Theodore was on the other side of an open field instead of a few feet in front of them. “Ready to try some more affirmations?”

Susan chuckled. “That little gremlin may be right. You can’t change who you are inside. You can only accept it. And, if you accept that…” She lifted a hand to his mostly intact cheek, stopping just before she touched the skin. “your true self will be reflected on the outside.”

Theodore blinked hard. Susan smiled, reaching her hand up to swipe a tear off his cheek. “Look at that,” she said. “Thought those were long gone.”

It seemed impossible. It always seemed impossible that things wouldn’t stay the same forever.

But his tear ducts – one of the many things that had been destroyed by his murderer’s attack – had returned to him.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Dare cleared their throat. “Guys? I know you’ve got a whole moment going on, but I gotta be at work in, like, three minutes or Layla will have my ass, so let’s get to it!”

That finally pried Theodore’s attention away from the captivating woman before him. “If that’s the case, you’ll be late even if you leave now!” he snapped. “Just go!”

Dare hummed. “Fair point.” They rushed for the door as quickly as they had come in.

Theodore shook his head. “Nonsensical little person…”

“You’ve got to hand it to them, though,” Susan said. “They are exceptional at bringing people together.”

Theodore sighed, and inched his hand forward just slightly to touch hers. “Can’t argue with that.”

-Haunted Minds by Ray Johnstone