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Hate Of The Unknown
Even Angels Are Scared Of Death

Even Angels Are Scared Of Death

Jahha settled onto her pillow across from mine and shot me a piercing gaze. I shifted my weight on my cushion, feeling the intensity of her presence bearing down on me. Vincent excused himself earlier, saying he had unfinished business with Ari, and now it was just the two of us. My heart was pounding in my chest, my palms sweating profusely. The doubt of being able to cast magic lingered within me.

I had a deep desire to be special. I wanted to be the person everybody would turn to, rely on. Of course, it was selfish, but I couldn’t shake the feeling of importance, the feeling that, for once in my life, I mattered. Without magic, without being a witch, I’m nothing to anyone.

Maybe she could see right through me. Perhaps she knew I was nothing special. She said I had a lot of power, but I just couldn’t see it. “Stop that,” Jahha snapped at me. “Stop what?” I asked. “Worrying. I told you we will find out today what kind of magic, if at all, you can use. Even if you can’t use magic, you still have a strong gift. I will guide you either way.” I nodded, and the stress I was feeling released a little.

“So where do we start? What are we going to do?” I asked her. “One of the most important things children start with is history. You need to learn it and understand our roots. You are not a child, so I brought you some books you can use. Read them in your own time. I want to be more practical with you. First, I need you to tell me what you do to activate your power. How you start to sense lies.”

This was an odd question. “What do you mean? I don’t activate it. It’s just always on. I can’t turn it off or anything. It’s a default setting for me.” Jahha looked very surprised. “You mean you always sense lies? Nonstop?” I nodded. She took a deep breath in as if trying to calm herself. “Julian, this is extremely dangerous. You could drain yourself. I’m getting ahead of myself. We start with the basics and see how we can help you.”

It wasn’t in my control to feel the lies. It’s something that has always happened to me. I got used to it by now. Could it be possible to shut down the buzz? Get some quiet inside my mind? I don’t know if it’ll be a bad or a good thing at this point. “Okay,” I mumbled and looked at Jahha for more instructions.

“Good. We start with spells and move on to potions. As witches, we have the power to shift reality to do are bidding. Reality is organized by strings. Every object and every living being is connected by thousands of strings. We have power inside of us that allows us to affect those strings. If I want to crush an object, I’ll reap apart all of its strings. If I want to heal or rebuild something, I must put the strings back together. To do that, we have specific words for each action. The power comes through our words and moves the strings. We use outside sources to perform magic.”

After her explanation, Jahha took a small candle and whispered a word. In a second, the candle lit on its own. I watched, mesmerized. “Jahha, this is amazing,” I said. She smiled at me. “This will be your first task. It’s the most simple spell there is. You’ll understand how magic works when you lit your first candle.”

She put a candle in front of me. “Say ‘ignis lux.’ It means fire light in Latin. Nothing more. Think about the candle lighting up as you say it.”

I looked at the candle. Very doubtful of my ability to light it up just by using my words. I followed her instruction and said it while thinking of lighting up the candle. Nothing happened. “Am I doing it right?” I asked her with some worry.

“Yes. It’s common not to succeed on your first try. So just do it again.” For the next half an hour, I tried it over again and again. Each time it didn’t work, and I started to get frustrated. That was it. The failure I knew I was.

I looked at the treacherous candle. Without talking this time, I thought, ‘god dammit, just light up already.’ A flame so big lit on the top of the candle I had to jump back. Jahha looked at me with her mouth hanging open. “Did you whisper the spell, or did you light it up without talking?”

“I just told the candle to light up inside my mind.” Or something like that. Jahha blew off the candle. “Do that again,” she demanded. Looking at the candle, I once again imagined it lighting up as I asked it to do so. The candle lit up again. Not as strong as before, maybe because I didn’t mentally scream at it this time.

I felt proud of myself for managing to light the candle. Looking up, I wanted to give Jahha a smile, but the look on her face stopped me. She had a look of horror on her face. “Julian, did you think about the spell mentally or just commanded the candle to light up?”

“I just thought about the candle lighting up. In English,” I added. “Impossible, That’s impossible,” Jahha said. She put a small pencil in front of me. “Move the pencil, Julian. Tell it to move like you told the candle.”

I looked at the object. ‘Move.’ I thought in my mind. The pencil started to roll towards me. My heart skipped a bit. Did I do that? Made the pencil move? ‘Move up, fly.’ I told it. The pencil lifted up a few inches above the ground. I started playing with it. Twisting and moving it mid-air. This is so awesome.

I let it drop and looked at Jahha. She didn’t think it was awesome like me, apparently. Her face still radiated with horror. “Who are you, Julian?” She asked, her voice laced with fear. What was going on? “Umm… I’m just me? I don’t understand the question.” I told her.

“Let me ask again. Who are your parents?” I didn’t have the answer to that. “My mother was a drug addict. She died when I was five. I never met my father. He probably was a one-night stand my mom couldn’t even remember. I’m pretty sure my mother is human, though.” She looked at me. Calculating my answer.

“Any other family members who might not be human?” She finally asked. “No. I only have my grandma and brother. They never seemed to be anything other than human.” I told her.

“Let me explain something to you, Julian. There’s a reason we have spells. We are the spark. The strings are the fuel. When both of those things are met by our words, you can say friction, fire is created. Or the wanted spell. What you did just now, The candle and the pencil were manipulated without using any spells. This means you have your own fuel, the power already inside you. That indicates you may be able to bend reality to your will without restrictions.”

I listened to her carefully. Feeling a spark of fear crawling up inside of me. “It is raw power. Yes. But what happens when you have friction, fuel, and a spark at the same place for a long time?” She asked me as I gulped. “An explosion,” I whispered. Jahha nodded.

“You are an anomaly, Julian. I never encountered a creature like you. There are rumors about someone with similar powers to yours. They are only rumors. I never met her. And our entire community seems to be afraid of her.”

My heart was beating fast. What does that mean? “Listen to me carefully, Julian. You will learn the spells. Whenever you use magic, you pretend to do it by the spells. Never tell a soul about what you can do.” I could only nod.

“You don’t understand. You can’t tell anyone. They will lock you up. Find out what makes you tick. Other people will want your power to themselves.”

“Why are you helping me then?” I asked Jahha. “I want to be on your good side, for starters. You have a lot of potential. I won’t let those old bastards in the council hurt another witch. Even if you are an abnormal one.”

“Okay,” I mumbled. This was not what I expected of today. “We’re done for now. Take the books. Learn the wording of the spells. We’ll try to see your power limit in our next session.”

As I stood up, I felt a little dizzy. Whether it was from the spells or from my confusion, I did not know. Looking at the time, I saw it was already past midnight. Time moved so fast. Why must I be so weird? An abnormal witch? Really? As if being a witch isn’t enough.

“Thank you for today, Jahha. Maybe you could check if anyone else has similar powers to mine?” I asked her. “I’ll look. Discreetly.” She walked out of the room, leaving me standing there alone.

I grabbed the books and went to search for Vincent. Finding him wasn’t hard. He was standing in front of Ari’s door next to an angry-looking woman. I walked towards him and gave him a smile as soon as he caught my eyes. “Finished for today?” He asked me. I nodded at him. “Could you maybe help me with the books to your car? If that’s okay to ask.”

“Of course, give them to me,” Vincent said, already reaching out to grab the books. I insisted on carrying at least half of the books myself. We were jokingly fighting about it when someone cleared their throat beside me, and I realized it was the angry-looking woman. “Julian, this is Vivian. Vivian That’s Julian, the one Ari told you about.” She nodded. “We need to talk. Official council business.” She said. “You want to talk with me?” I asked her, confused.

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“Yes, of course. An unknown powerful witch suddenly pops up. It’s my obligation to talk to you.” Her voice was nice and clear, filled with authority. Looking closer at her, I realized she was very young. Not like me, but she looked eighteen, maybe nineteen at best.

Her short blonde hair fitted well with her sharp face and green eyes. Not wanting to stare, I everted my eyes and looked at Vincent. Finally, Vincent got the hint. “And you will. Let us put his books in the car, and we’ll come back up. I want all of us to speak together. Ari must be present as well.” She really didn’t like that.

“Ari can be present, but you, Vincent, don’t have to. It’s none of your business.” She said in a harsh voice. “I want Vincent there. I won’t talk to you unless he’s present.” I told her, wishing for my voice to sound confident.

“Got your fangs inside this one, haven’t you? Fucked him already? He seems attached.” Who was this woman? Why was she being so rude? “How dare you talk to him like that? I thought you needed his help. As if he’s going to agree to help you now.” Vincent practically yelled at her. I attempted to remain composed. I didn’t want her to realize she had provoked me.

“We’ll put the books away and return to talk to you. Both Vincent and Ari have to be present. If you need my help, I’ll hear you out and decide accordingly whether I’ll help you or not. It’s none of your business who I fuck or who fucks me. And by the way, I’m sixteen, so you shouldn’t even be asking me that. Let’s go, Vincent.”

We left her standing there stunted. I was surprised by my reaction. We walked out of the club to the quiet night. “Wow, Jules, you were amazing. Who knew you were a secret badass.” Vincent complimented me. I blushed. “I didn’t mean to go off at her like that. She was just being so rude. Who is she anyways?” I asked him.

“She’s the leader of the enforcers. They’re the werewolves in the council. They’re strong and fast, which makes them perfect for enforcing any activity that goes against our laws. Kind of like human police.” I nodded at his explanation. “She seems so young, though.”

“She is. She’s only nineteen, the youngest leader we ever had. She’s good, though. Usually, she’s way more calm and calculated. I don’t know what got to her today.” Vivian? Calm and calculated? She left a completely different first impression.

“How did it go with Jahha?” Vincent asked me after we dropped off the books at his car. “It was good. I lit up a candle.” I told him. Leaving out the actual important details. I trusted Vincent, yet Jahha told me not to tell a soul. So I won’t. Vincent smiled at me. “I knew you could do it. That’s amazing, Julian.”

He shouldn’t be making my heart flutter like this. I felt terrible about Jake. I don’t even know if Vincent is into guys or not… not that it matters since I’m with Jake. C’mon, Julian, he’s just being friendly. “Do you know what Vivian wants from me?” I asked.

“I have no idea. Knowing the council, it’s nothing good. But the wolves are just the enforces. The witches have the final word. I’m guessing her request is coming from them.” I wonder what kind of witches are sitting on the council.

We approached Ari’s office, and I pondered what they could want from me. Should I comply? Or should I refuse? Time to find out. When we entered the room, Vivian and Ari were in it, but far away from each other. Ari was at his desk, Vivian on the couch that was the furthest from the desk. The tension between them was evident, adding to my own apprehension.

“Julian. It’s lovely to see you. How was your time with Jahha?” Ari asked. “It was good. We did some basic spells. I lit up a candle.” I told Ari. He seemed pleased with this information and smiled at me. Wow. Ari was smiling. We should check if any puppies died just now.

“He lit up a candle. Should we all burst into applause?” Vivian said, sarcasm laced in her voice. “Hold your tongue, Vivian. He just learned of what he is. It is not a simple task.” Ari told her. It felt good having his support. What was her problem?

“Fine. I’ll make it simple. Each new addition to our prison is examined by the most professional people we have. But just to make sure that no mistakes are made, we want you, Julian, to test every new prisoner. We were made aware of your ability. Can’t lie and say it’s not useful.” She finished.

That sounds easy enough. I could do that. And it would also ensure no innocent people will end up in the council’s prison. From what Vincent told me, this place wasn’t fun. “What would it require from me? I’m still at school. I don’t have much time left between that and learning magic.”

“It won’t be much. Twice a week, for two hours each time. You’ll get your payment from the council. Personally, I won’t take you in. You seem young and ignorant. But the higher-ups insist.” Wow, she just makes the most compelling argument. “Will I be working with you?” I asked her. “Yes. I’m the head of the enforces. I’ll be present at every sitting.”

“So no. I refuse. I don’t have much left of my mental health. I’m not wasting any on you. You can go to the council and tell them I refuse as long as I have to work with you.” She paled. “You really give up such an important job? Anyone would love to have it.”

“Well, I’m not anyone, and from my understanding, there are no others with my power. So all the cards are in my hands. I don’t know what I did to you, but you’re being extremely disrespectful. So I refuse to work with you.” Her face was red now.

“And if I’ll let your lap dog come with you?” Was she referring to Vincent? “If Vincent can come with me, I’ll take it. Only if it’s okay with you, Ari.” I added, not wanting to overstep. “Whatever you need, Julian. Vincent is quite taken with you. I’m sure he won’t mind.” Ari said as I blushed. “Great. If you make out at the council building, your out. I don’t care what they’ll say.” Vivian took her belongings and left the office.

Tears stung my eyes. Yet I refused to cry. I couldn’t help to think she treated me like that because of how I looked. I was still wearing that stupid crop top. Not everyone will have a positive reaction to what I am. Although I knew that, it still hurt. “Don’t mind her, Julian. She’s just intimidated by you. You have been known to our world for less than a week and already hold a higher position than her. There is no other reason to her hate.” It was as if Ari could read my thoughts.

“Thank you, Ari, for everything,” I told him. He gave me a slight nod as we walked out of his office. When we reached Vincent’s car and were alone, I let the tears spill, Unable to hold them in. Her words really hurt me despite the calm demeanor I tried to maintain in front of her.

Vincent was there immediately, hugging me. “Shit, I’m sorry for being such a crybaby,” I said, trying not to get snot all over his shirt. “You’re not. You are such a sweet person. She shouldn’t talk to you like that.” He was still hugging me. It wasn’t just her. It was everything that happened today. The good and the bad things were just too overwhelming for me.

I calmed down a little bit as we drove. Vincent said nothing, but the silence between us wasn’t awkward. I don’t know what he thinks of me right now. I hope he’s not sick of me just yet. Losing Vincent would genuinely break me. I saw him as my only ally.

He parked up next to my driveway and looked at me. “Feeling any better?” He asked with concern still lingering in his voice. “Yeah. This entire day was just… too much for me. I’m so glad it’s an off day tomorrow. I don’t think I can do much other than sleep.” Vincent chuckled. “So sleep, take as much time to rest as you need. It’s my off day tomorrow as well, so if you want, we can do something fun.”

I thought about his offer. I won’t mind hanging out outside all the crazy stuff. “Sure, I’ll text you in the morning.” Vincent gave me a smile. “Oh, I need to tell you something. Ari set up a bank account for you under my name. You can’t keep working under the table, not with the sums the council is paying you. The account is under my name, but you are the only one with access. Promise.”

What was he talking about? “How much money are we talking about? I would do what the council wants for free, honestly. The cause is good.” Vincent’s eyes bore into my own. “It’s the standard pay. Take it, Julian.”

“Okay, but how much are we talking about?” Vincent looked a little bit uncomfortable. “Six figures. Julian, you will earn that money fairly, don’t be modest. Take it and make sure your family is taken care of.”

Not knowing what to say, I just nodded. Vincent gave me a small black card and a folder with files containing my account information. “Call me tomorrow if you still feel like hanging out.”

“Okay, I will.” Then, smiling at me, he gave me one final hug before he made a U-turn and drove off.

Glancing down at the card in my hands, I still felt stunned. How am I supposed to use all of this money? The mortgage seemed like a good place to start, but then what? I had no clue.

My phone went off. Who would be calling right now? It was two in the morning. Looking at the phone screen, I saw Jake’s name flashing on it. I quickly answered the call.

“Jake? Is everything okay?”

“Jules, thank god you’re awake. I’m so so sorry.” He sounds frantic, his voice full of sadness and fear. “What’s wrong? What happened?” I asked him, fear taking hold of me as well. “I can’t tell you. Just know that I love you, okay? I wish I could have been brave enough and tell you that sooner. We were able to have only one night to ourselves. I love you. Please don’t hate me.”

“Jake, I would never hate you.”

“You might after this. We’re going away. My family and I. I won’t be able to have contact with you after that. I can’t tell you why. We won’t see each other ever again. Live your life, Jules, to the fullest. Give your heart to someone who deserves it. Forget about me. But trust me, I’ll always remember you.”

“Jake! What are you saying? Tell me what’s going on. I can help-“The line got caught off. I was left alone with the phone in my hand.

I frantically dialed Jake’s number, getting nothing in response but the cold, robotic voicemail chime. My hands trembled, tears streaming down my face like a flood. This can’t be happening. Jake was the only one who made me feel alive. Now he was gone. My body shook with rage, every breath coming out as a strangled sob.

Not caring about anything, I ordered a cub and drove to Jake’s house. I wasn’t thinking very clearly, but if he was in danger, I was going to help him.

Twenty minutes later, I was at the front of his house. I went to the door and knocked on it. Hard. No answer. The house looked abandoned. Suddenly I heard a clicking noise behind me. “Don’t move a muscle, or I will shoot.” A masculine voice declared.

I put my shaking hands up, not understanding what was going on. “Who are you?” He asked me. “Julian. My friend lives here. We just had a troubling conversation, and I thought he was in danger. So I came here to check on him.” I explained with a shaky voice.

“Put the gun down, Ronen. You don’t want to put a hole inside the new council witch.” I knew that voice. “Vivian? What are you doing here?” I was really stunned. Ronen immediately put his gun down.

“The real question is, what are you doing here, Julian?”

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