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Ha'suru Lab Life!
1.2 The Infallible Kaiba Quivers

1.2 The Infallible Kaiba Quivers

This was Ha’suru National Hospital! Or more popularly shortened to HNH. Amongst its various departments, the linchpin of its operation hinged on HNH labs. To extract and analyze bodily fluids was the name of the game. Medical scientists simply played it. That’s where interns came in.

Interns! Interns were a vital cog in the machine known as HNH. This hospital welcomed almost one thousand interns to its home. Each brimmed with the hope to have a future in this prestigious institution.

Today! We peeked into the life of a medical science intern on duty. This was no ordinary intern. This was one of the top two interns in the HNH leaderboards! His name echoed throughout HNH labs: The infallible Kaiba Quivers.

Duty: Serology Section

“You have to really pay attention Kaiba,” Elise reprimanded.

This was a rather precarious scenario for Kaiba. He further and further into the bowels of a bad day. For someone to be worthy of being infallible, this was inexcusable.

“Hey are you even listening to me?” Elise continued to hammer the nail on Kaiba’s grave,

This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence for interns. These young aspiring individuals were nothing more than ants. They were the lowest on the societal order. The most dispensable. And yet the whole hospital wouldn’t be able to operate as smoothly without them.

“There are about thirty vials here that haven’t been completely analyzed. That’s inexcusable!” Elise persisted.

But! Kaiba wasn’t an ordinary intern. He excelled greatly even if he just entered HNH a mere three months ago. Everything was supposed to be stacked against him. He was from sector 4. He was a transferee. He was an anomaly in this world where the outsiders are rarely let in. Despite all of that, some of the staff in the lab started to treat him like a colleague. The staff that scolded him now was unfortunately not one of those people.

“That’s enough! You’re getting a demerit.” Elise eventually said.

Ah yes! The vaunted demerit. The intern system in HNH was simple. Each intern entering the institution started with zero points. Each time they excelled, they would be given a merit. Each time they messed up, they would be given a demerit. But! Those things were hard to come by. Kaiba Quivers was currently tied for the top spot in the HNH leaderboards. That statement alone showed that he was on equal playing field with the top interns.

“Demerit!” Kaiba stood up from his seat.

Everything Elise said went in one ear and went out the other. Different thoughts rampaged in his mind. Until now. Just the utterance of ‘demerit’ jogged him back to reality. In all his time in HNH, he only received one demerit. And that was on the first day! He showed no respect to the authority of a section chief back then. An eerie similarity to now.

“Now that I’ve gotten your attention, please fix this mess you made STAT. I’ll be in my office.” Elise went back to her cubicle. “If you can’t fix this by the day’s end, your demerit is valid.”

Beep.

Kaiba curled his hands into fists. And gently rested his frustration on the table. Why am I assigned to the serology section? He looked at the beeping machine. The main attraction of the serology section: ELISA. It was a biochemical analyzer that made quick work of patients' blood to identify serum markers. It was indeed a marvel of technology. And a staple of HNH.

I hate it. He hated the serology section in its entirety, The walls of this section boxed him in. It wouldn’t even be called a room in some countries. The section chief office was no different. Elise called it an office but it was merely the size of two dressers combined! Then there was this long table. It spanned almost the entire width of the section. It was needlessly long. Aside from the ELISA, this was the second most space occupying lesion here. And the nail that sent his mind into a flurry, they needed only one station to man this whole section! Absurd! His talents were being wasted here! He was about to be demerited on top of that too. His thoughts just piled and piled more frustrations.

“I don’t hear you working!” Elise shouted from her insanely small office.

Kaiba contorted his face. How the hell did I end up like this? A demerit would surely knock him off the top of the intern leaderboards. His rival, Alexa Fuse, would take the top spot. And that was the spark to hear his rival’s voice in his head. She said: ‘A demerit in the most benign section of the lab?’ Alexa’s imaginary laugh pierced through his heart. ‘You’re too adorable.’

It was so vivid. It might as well have happened! He scanned the table. It sprawled with the chambers filled with vials that were incorrectly analyzed. He had to redo all of them. He noticed the lone sore spot. It was so out of place that he kicked himself for not noticing. Yes! It was a protein bar. A half eaten one at that. Why didn’t I finish it? There were only a few reasons for an unfinished protein bar to be present in front of this protein starved man. It was the sole reason for his demerit.

ELISA’s beeping reminded him. And that would bring him back to the start of this duty. How did this all happen again?

***

It was just the start of another duty. Section Chief Elise had yet to clock in. Kaiba Quivers was early. So he sat silently, watching the ELISA machine in front of him. It was silly to watch an inanimate object doing nothing, but in the Serology section there wasn’t really anything much to do.

“Hey Kaiba,” a reluctant intern’s voice called to him

Kaiba snapped his head to the direction and said, “What is it?”

The intern jerked back. “Here’s a few specimens.”

The anonymous intern entered the section and dropped off a few specimens. Kaiba silently watched as the intern went about his duties. Must be nice in the info section. Well, at least there he wouldn’t be rotting. He just couldn’t stand that he was in duty yet doing nothing, while his rival was off possibly garnering another merit.

“Ju– just a heads up.” the intern stammered.

“Out with it,” Kaiba bluntly said.

The intern raised his hands in fright. “There’s a whole company waiting in line right now. So just be prepared for the inflow of a lotta specimens.”

“Roger that.” Kaiba raised his chin. At this point, he was well versed in his co-interns' reactions to him. He intimidated everybody so naturally. The skills he possessed only served to amplify it more.

He could have started working on the specimens now, but knowing the serology section, once he was done, what then? The prudent play was to wait for more and analyze them by batch. Besides, he had better things to think about.

His thoughts lost to a meandering. ELISA was a stupid machine with an even more idiotic name. Whether it was because it resembled that terror of a chief’s name or something else entirely, he hated the machine in front of him. The name should exude more elegance; it would sound more appealing. Add in a function of voice commands and the workflow of serology would be greatly enhanced to boot. ALEXA. That is a far better name.

“ALEXA please analyze all these specimens on the table.” Kaiba muttered to himself.

He imagined the robotic arms of the ALEXA jutting out of its sides. It cradled the specimens and shoved them into its mouth. A sick monster devouring the poor serum from the patients’ souls. He continued to nod at himself and his innovative idea. But then, something terrible struck his mind! His eyeballs frozen in fear. ELISA started to beep incessantly.

Did I just think that my rival’s name would sound better? He shook his head vigorously. There was no way. He quickly stood up and jammed the chambers with vials. There was only one way to get rid of his sickening thoughts. Kaiba Quivers went to work. And the work in serology was relatively simple. It showcased just how far technology had come. ELISA was an automated immunoassay machine that tested for antibody-antigen interaction. The serum found in these vials were essential to that function. All that Kaiba had to do was to place the vials into the chamber and let ELISA do all the work.

He finally began his tapping tirade. A pleximeter finger gently landing on the desk over and over again. ELISA beeped while the man in this section waited. There was nothing else he could do. Nothing else to distract him from his thoughts.

A tray full of one hundred specimens was floated by without so much as a whimper nor a rattle. The intern passed by without even alerting Kaiba of the new specimens! It was expected, as the intern was too scared to converse with the man known to be infallible. But! This wasn’t the problem. The test tube laden styrofoam trays sat on the desk. ELISA continued beeping. This came too late. He couldn’t process them just yet.

Yes! The one and only weakness of ELISA had made itself known. Once a casing was inside ELISA and the process began, there was no way of stopping it. That is to say, if one stopped it, the analysis would be incomplete and he’d have to start all over again.

The tapping suddenly grew louder and louder. There was work on the table but he could not do anything about it! This all the more fed into his mind that this section was utter garbage. He winced, contorted his face multiple times. That won’t do Kaiba Quivers any good in this situation.

“Hey Kaiba!” An intern’s deep voice filled his ears.

“How are you Jobu?” Kaiba replied.

Jobu was an intern of great exception. He did not feel the pressure of this top intern. His build almost neared that of Kaiba’s. If they walked the hallway next to each other, it would be unsure if that was a bodybuilding show or just simply two medical science interns walking! However, that wasn't the reason why he wasn’t intimidated. One look at Jobu and it made itself known. It wasn’t about the art of strengthening one’s body. It was something much much more delicate.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

“The old man selling the ‘goods’ is here. Just thought I’d let you know.” Jobu blushed.

Yes, Jobu blushed! Just because he was not intimidated did not mean he thought of Kaiba as an equal. No! Jobu held a very secret admiration. For the man that was known to be infallible, there were only two ends of a spectrum and no in between. It’s either he was loved or feared!

“That’s great! I’ll head on over there in just a sec,” Kaiba replied.

“Alright.” Jobu, reluctant to meet Kaiba’s eyes.

He scampered off into the far reaches of the HNH hallway, unbefitting of his large stature. Kaiba thought nothing of it. In fact, it was just normal for Jobu to act that way. But more importantly the ‘goods’ was on Kaiba Quivers mind. Even more importantly, at times this man was dense. Or perhaps he did not care much for insignificant characters in his life.

Kaiba finally stood up, excited to see the seller. But! The test tubes on the table reminded him of the work to be done. He could not leave the test tubes just sitting here. The ‘goods’ were a reward for a job well done. And the job was not done. He looked at ELISA. That damned machine! He looked at the trays. The ‘goods’ rampant in his mind. There is only one way.

He walked up to ELISA. There was no hint of mulling in his decisions. Emotionless like the machine in front of him, he pressed the stop button, uncocked the casings, put it on the desk, and jammed in all the new specimens on it. All done in one swift motion. He locked back the casings into place, pressed the start button, ending in a beep of finality. He pressed the button again. Unaware of the consequences of his actions. It beeped again. It did not matter. The ‘goods’ now firmly took priority on his duty checklist.

The walls were quiet. The table stood silently. Of course, they were inanimate objects. But Kaiba had to make sure! Section Elise always arrived at 11 am. There’s still time. And so his adventure to procure his ‘goods’ had begun. The quest for muscle nutrition!

The hallway of HNH labs was enormous. Five Jobu’s could fit its width. At the end of this wide path, towards the entrance of HNH labs, his quest laid in wait. The seller loitered outside the lab. Only natural, as food merchants weren't exactly allowed inside the lab.

All the sections in HNH labs encased with glass windows. It made for an easy and quick glance at what was happening just by passing through. This serology section was found just at the end of the lab. At the tip of was the histology section. This was made for the people of the undead. Examining dead or close to dead tissues everyday. Then the serology came next which was where Kaiba was from. He walked past the bacteriology section. A place where the microscope was the king. Then there was the chemistry section, where the chunk of the most vital tests were performed. That place was always busy. I want to be there! Merits were bountiful and easy to get.

He continued to walk. The next section was clinical microscopy. This was the land of the weird fetish of urine and feces. His pace heightened at the smell of putrid pee. This place gives me the creeps. Next to that was the Hematology section. It was the study of the blood and its peculiar properties. Then there was a commotion brewing in the next section. A bunch of interns huddled over to peek into the glass paned window of the blood bank section. Kaiba’s eyes narrowed. There is only one reason for that to happen.

The blood bank section was another vital cog in the lab. It took and stored blood in reserve for blood transfusions. They were vampiric in nature. And the toxicity of that section was next to none. One practically had to be dracula in order to sustain work at a steady pace in that section. Kaiba decided to peek into what made this such an attraction. This was where Alexa Fuse was stationed to duty today after all.

“Ah it’s Kaiba!” One of the girls in the commotion screamed.

The girls parted like the red sea. He was like a deterrent that repelled all other forces weaker than his own. This was the infallible Kaiba. But of course, their reaction meant nothing to him. His eyes widened. His thighs jellified like he was slime against the greatest of adventurers. I knew it.

Alexa Fuse danced to the melody of her own gracefulness. Her long hair flowed and swayed in recognition to her own supple and intentful movements. She was art. She was the maestro to the orchestra that was the test tubes. This was supposed to be a mere routine crossmatch, but she made it look so otherworldly.

That’s not so out of this world! Kaiba strained his face. Alexa Fuse met his gaze. She smiled. It was a smile that said all he needed to know: ‘I know you’re watching. Let me show you how better I am than you.’ He clenched his fists. He hated that it invoked such a feeling from him. He couldn’t help but be filled with admiration. But! He would do anything to deny that. This was his rival after all.

“Tch,” Kaiba grunted and walked away.

He did not care what image he left to the interns behind. All that he cared about was the fact that Alexa Fuse was doing far more important work than he was. Why did she have to look so angelic?

At last he reached the true destination. The real main quest to his tepid duty. The info section. This section too was one of the most toxic sections in the lab. As this was the first stop for all specimens. Behind it was the extraction OPD. The section that was near and dear to his heart. For it showcased his prolific phlebotomy. But! None of that mattered. Alexa Fuse’s actions erased from his mind. Only the ‘goods’ and the food merchant known colloquially as Arnold S. would remain. Quest almost complete.

“Ah Kaiba! How is my favorite customer?” Arnold greeted him heartily.

“I’m good Arnold S. You got some new ‘goods’ for me?” Kaiba looked at Arnold’s delectable wares.

“Oh of course! We have products all the way from America, Sweden, Germany! You name it we have it!” Arnold exclaimed.

Kaiba scanned the delectable variety of protein bars in front of him. Yes! Protein bars were the epitome of nutrition. They were jam packed with the only macronutrient that Kaiba Quivers truly cared about. Protein!

He picked one that piqued the most interest. “Hm? So this bar increased muscle protein synthesis for forty eight hours?”

“A fine choice sir! Those are fresh off the shipment. They have been reinforced by a new formula that helps maintain muscle mass for longer periods of time. One a day, should be just fine,” Arnold explained.

Kaiba expressed his shock as he read the label. “There’s one hundred grams of protein in this tiny little bar?”

“Yes! That is also one of its key features. The manufacturer, HSN, has innovated once again. Managing to cram that much protein into that little of a bar.”

“I’ll take three.” Kaiba raised three fingers. There was no room for thinking. This was the most dense protein bar he had ever seen. He would buy it. No questions asked.

“Thank you for your patronage as always!” Arnold bowed.

Kaiba was satisfied. He could now go back to the serology with no doubt, with no guilt. But first! He absolutely had to taste this protein bar. He unwrapped it quickly with one hand, unnecessarily showing off the dexterity in his hands.

Another commotion brewed outside of the lab. This time it was the donor section. An extension of the blood bank. In essence it was like the extraction section but specializing in procuring blood tailored for the blood bank. He might as well check out this commotion too while he was here. There was nothing better than enjoying a snack and a show at the same time. He towered everyone as he peeked into the glass pane that separated him from the donor section. One blissful crunch of the protein bar sent him to the heights of Mt. Ha’suru. He was merely a patron in a movie theatre, chewing, enjoying the show. The bolus in his mouth stagnated as he saw the person of attraction. Why is it always her? However this time, it was a version of Alexa that contradicted the past. Her hands shook as she held the needle. Perspiration pooling on her forehead. This is getting interesting.

“Hey what’s going on?” Kaiba asked an intern nearby.

“Ah!” The usual reaction.

“Hey what’s going on?” He only repeated his question.

“Ms. Alexa was endorsed to a difficult-to-extract patient. That man was crying the entire time. And she just made him stop crying!” the girl squealed in excitement.

“I see.” He nodded. He would remain a quiet spectator. This Alexa Fuse hesitated. The grace she exhibited from earlier faded. She was more of a normal girl now than he had ever seen before. One more crunch of the protein bar, and the gooey chocolate melted in his mouth. Just like the visage that Alexa was otherworldly.

Inside this donor room, Alexa Fuse troubled over something. She held the needle firmly But her hands still shaked! It is so big! Obviously too big for her small hands. She looked at the now quiet patient. The time to strike was now. Her plan slowly took shape. However! Her skin tingled akin to a spider sense except it was tailor made just for one person. She looked to the outside for only a brief second. A judgemental gaze assaulted her senses. It was unmistakable. It was annoying. And there he was. There was no one else in the whole HNH lab capable of that. Kaiba Quivers stood with the rest of the crowd. Deadpanned. Jaws crunched. It all added to the building emotion of: This is infuriating!

Alexa brought to a wince. The trembling in her hands was now unstoppable. Inevitable. She breathed in a healthy amount of air. Relax. She capped the needle, set it down and released the man’s tourniquet.

“What’s wrong, Ms. Alexa?” An intern inside, watching, asked her.

Alexa’s radiant smile greeted her. “I just have to take care of something.”

She walked to the door and unclasped its lock. “Hey Kaiba! What the hell-”

He wasn’t there. Alexa was sure she saw him. There was no mistaking a man as irritating as him. But the scene in front of her could not lie. Somehow that only managed to irritate her more.

No! Kaiba stood there. Deadpanned. That was no illusion. He was physically and mentally there. But! As he enjoyed the show with his dense meal, he remembered something! Of course. He needed to get back to the serology section. The clock read 11 am. That was the time that the serology chief would usually check in. His feet carried him to its maximum stride. To normal people, he could only be seen as a blur. This was the infallible Kaiba Quivers after all.

Hands to knees. Heaved breaths. Each gulp of oxygen provided him the smallest of reprieve. Kaiba had made it to the serology section in time! There were a plethora of new specimens on the table. It looked to be from another company’s profile. More work needed to be done. But at least now he could start on it before the chief arrived. The nonchalant feasting of the protein bar resumed. He pulled out a chair. Sat down. In blissful ignorance. The chewing was all that echoed in his head. He made up his mind to finish this bar first before starting to work. This is some good protein.

“Kaiba!” Elise shouted.

It was at that moment, Kaiba knew his death was inevitable. The section chief’s tone told him everything. The ELISA, he just noticed, had stopped blinking. Even though it was far from the time it should be. Someone turned it off.

“I come to this section at the same time I always do, to find that no one was here.” Elise crossed her arms. “And now I find you slacking off and eating in my section?”

Death arrived. She was a cruel mistress by the name of Elise. A woman Kaiba would come to fear starting today. This situation was everything he sought to prevent. But his hubris, his apparent pride to think he could, proved to be his downfall. Quest failed.

***

ELISA’s beeping woke him up from his recollection of that day’s events. He looked at the unfinished morsel of the protein bar on that table. This is all your fault. No, Kaiba Quivers. It was your infatuation with the protein bar that caused this great tragedy. He couldn’t even muster finishing it now. Not after the hour upon hour lecture he received from Elise. It numbed his mind. He wondered just how effective those kinds of one sided discourse was if he almost forgot the reason for it in the first place. He mindlessly put the vials into the casings. A zombie made to carry out the wishes of his master, ELISA. He opened his lord’s drawer and gently placed all the specimens inside. He made sure that he did right. There was no missing piece. Clack. ELISA beeped and it began cycling through its work. Then it beeped again.

He impaled ELISA with his eyes. Stop beeping! He almost reflexively kicked the machine before realizing. Yes! It was a grave mistake. A mistake that would haunt him for the rest of the day. ELISA beeped ever since he got to the section. There were three lights on the left most side of ELISA’s grill. The right light lit up; it was currently analyzing. The middle light lit up; it was powered on. And the left side lit up; it needed maintenance.

ELISA was already analyzing. And once it was, it should not be stopped. He thought about it for a second. Elise loomed inside her office. His eyes blank. He walked back to the table. Pulled out the chair, sat down, grabbed the scraps of the protein bar, unfurled the packaging and took a bite. He finally finished that delectable and dense portion of protein. He too, was finished anyway. The inevitable demerit would come his way no matter what. This was the infallible Kaiba Quivers.