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I woke up before dawn the morning and decided to have a crack at books, it was not as easy as I was expecting, turns out that having the memories of a 25-year-old does not mean your brain is 25 as well. My underdeveloped 11-year-old brain was not as good at understanding stuff as I expected, it also had a short attention span, but my willpower could make up for it. After four hours of shuffling through the pages, I now had a better picture of the first-year curriculum.
'At least I don't have to work extra hard on remembering all this stuff, my memory seems to be as strong as ever.'
"Ben, come on down for breakfast."
"Coming."
After breakfast, I decided to try a few charms from the book, I reckoned a levitation charm out not do any harm. As I waved my hand with my finger pointed towards a piece of paper, and said the incantation very slowly, "Wing-gar-dium Levi-o-sa", nothing really happened. The second time, I tried saying it a little faster, but still, it was without any result.
'It's the intent I'm missing' thinking that, I tried a third time and imagined the paper being lifted up from the ground.
*WOOSH* *THUMP* *CRASH * *CRASH* *CRASH*
All the books on my desk went flying up and landed everywhere in the room, breaking a few things in the process.
"Benedict, what are you doing up there."
"Umm, nothing, I just dropped my books."
"You better not break the window again."
"I won't, I promise."
'Well, I better not touch the spells without a wand.' I thought picking up the books from the floor.
After that, I sat crossed-legged on my bed, closed my eyes and tried to remember the feeling of casting the spell. Yes, I tried to meditate. I was trying to remember what I felt when I cast the charm, for a brief moment, I could feel the flow of magic through my hand, it was a comfortable feeling.
'It was like dipping my hand into warm water.'
Just like every other transmigrator, my biggest fear in this world was Leglimency. I had a lot more secrets to hide than everyone else, and I was afraid that they would spell my doom. It only increased my anxiety, knowing that Hogwarts was filled with expert Leglimens, even the shorting hat used Leglimency.
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'I should practice controlling my emotions, I don't want to be read like a book by Snape on my first day.'
Even though there was nothing about me that stood out, I was still worried.
Dumbledore may not be a dark wizard, but he was a bloody manipulator. His willingness to sacrifice anyone for the greater good made him the biggest threat to my safety. Voldermort could be dealt with, especially by me who knew all his secrets, and at the moment, he was only a parasite. Even after his resurrection, he only had 1/7 of his soul at best and 1/64 at worst. Such a fragmented soul was not capable of sustaining a sound mind. At the same time, my knowledge of this world was a double-edged sword, one look into my mind and Voldermort would know everything, if that happened, then this world was doomed with me. Hence it was a necessity that I be able to guard my secrets against Leglimency.
So, started my attempt at Occlumency, I tried emptying my mind just like Snape told Harry. I did not have much success at that. Thoughts continued to pop up in my head, the more tried not thinking of something, the more my mind focused on that.
After trying and failing for god knows how long, I remembered something from my last life. I remembered having weekly morning meditation sessions at school when I was a kid, even though I didn't follow it in my later years, I still remember the teaching.
"Your mind is like a monkey, jumping from branch to branch," I remember hearing this in every session. It was funny at the time, but now I realise how accurate that analogy was.
I closed my eyes and tried again, this time, instead of trying to empty my mind, I focused on my breath instead. After an unknown amount of time, I finally succeeded. I was able to empty my mind of all other thoughts and focus only on breathing.
'This will help me protect my mind only when I know that the attack is coming, I won't be able to do this in a fight or under stressful situations. I will have to be careful not to be caught off guard.'
After that, I spent my every waking moment reading and meditating. Focusing on my breath was getting easier and easier and now I was even able to do it without closing my eyes. I also finished reading "Hogwarts, a history", read ahead on potions theory and learned the incantations to all the first-year charms, although I didn't practice them.
'It's already 31st August', I was so excited because I was going to get my wand back today. I went to find my mom to ask for my wand.
"Have you packed all your stuff for Hogwarts?"
"Yes mum, I already did that this morning, can I get my wand back now please, I promise I won't break anything," I said making a face that no mother could resist.
Believe it or not, I was my mother's favourite, but I was also the only child so, that's not saying much.
"Aww, my baby, I am going to miss you so much, promise me you are going to owl me every day."
"Think that's a bit excessive, isn't it? I will write every week."
"My baby boy is already looking to get away from her mother, come here, give me a hug if you want the wand back." She said pulling me closer and suffocating me with a tight guy.
"Can't breathe, too tight ma", and she finally released me and gave me the box with my wand in it.
"Make sure to come down for dinner on time, there is something special on the menu tonight."
I nodded my head and ran back to my room, it was finally time to shake this stick.
'I get to finally release my pent-up magic, wait, that didn't sound PG13 at all.'
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