Beep Beep Beep
May 26 2024 Age:16 Time: ???
“Hey, do you need anything?” said Laura, who seemed like she could burst out crying at any given time.
“No, I'm fine, but has my laptop come in yet Laura?” asked a young man
“Ah yes one of our doctor's daughters brought it in here you go”
“Ah, finally thanks that will be it”
“Oh who is that guy you seem to like to talk to?” asked by Hana who is new to the scene and is being mentored by Laura. Seeing that the kid and Laura are close wondered since she has never seen him smile since the start of the month when she started to work here.
“Well, he is a regular here so I knew him since he was a kid sad childhood unfortunately” she said, edging closer and closer to crying
“You do realize this Is a hospital, right?” worryingly asked, looking at her mentor who seemed like she could just break down and sob at any given time.
“Yeah, I do, that's why I said sad childhood, he basically came in every week”
“Oh, so what does he need with the laptop? Since he seemed so happy to get it, ” said with sarcasm in her voice.
“to write down his story before he passes on to the afterlife....” Laura said bitterly
“what he seems like he isn't older than 16” aghast at the statement and regretting a little bit when she joked around earlier.
“because of what happened during his childhood he won't live past 17 and its 18 if he 's lucky” Laura finally couldn't take it anymore and started to break down and sob. The staff member all looked at her with sadness and teared up a bit also why? Because they all knew the kid since he was a regular to the hospital and wasn't able to help the kid due to his wishes, so they tried to do what they could and made his visit to the hospital free.
As he starts up the laptop he opens up Microsoft word and he began typing of his past what happen to him because he wanted to leave something behind not to cause a problem but to prove he existed in this world. It starts with........
Hello my name is Hoisom which means happy in Chinese, but I am anything but happy. Although to be honest it's not like I'm sad, mad , scared, or anything because in order to live to the end of my lifespan I had to more or less discard my emotion or I....might have killed myself by now. Although I say to the end of my lifespan I am currently 16 which is also the near the end of my lifespan. Why? Not because of an incurable disease or anything but because I was abused as a kid. Now you may wonder well yeah but it shouldn't kill you right? I was born with a weak heart but even then I should've lived to the average lifespan with the advancement in the medical field but what happened to me was nailing the final nail to the coffin.
It all started when I was five which coincidentally is also the last time I ever remembered I smiled.
October 20,2015 Age:7 Time: 9:30pm
Why?
-smack-
What have I ever done?
-punched-
I ask these questions all the time whenever my mom comes back home to beat me. My mother, Tasha, use to be a loving mom and wife, but it all came crumbling down when my dad, Greg, left her when I was five. It broke her apart and whenever she looks at me she remembers him also the alcohol doesn't help either.
“YOU LIAR I GAVE YOU 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE AND THIS HOW YOU REPAY ME” she said with a slur and anger while beating me with a bottle of cheap alcohol.
Dang it, I thought as it all went black I guess I've lost conscious again. While I was unconscious I remembered the last time my family was together we were at a park celebrating my birthday. We were playing soccer(football for non Americans) and later I made a wish. I forgot what it was about.
October 21,2015 Age:7 Time: 7:00 AM
I woke up in the morning at around 7 o'clock, which is the time I usually go to school. As I get up and change clothes to get ready for school, I notice a few cuts and bruises which I hold to keep the teachers from finding out.
I sat down in my seat thinking about how everyday goals.
How my day usually goes in the morning I go to school get beat up there and come home to wait till night time to get beat up by my mom.
Why do I get bullied simple because I'm different from everyone unlike the usual kid with black, blue, green, hazel, or brown eyes mines are red.
I'm not albino it's just a rare hereditary trait from my dad's side of the family I received (he got red eyes too). Also the girls in my class considered me extremely handsome therefore I am a lot more popular than the rest of my class also older girls like me too thus creating jealousy. Although I am popular I only have one friend who I met this year.
Her name is Yuki, she is a nice and cheerful person who I like to be around because of the atmosphere which is energetic, cheerful,...... happy things I haven't felt in a long time. Maybe if I stick to her long enough, I too will be able to smile again was my thought process as I talk to her. Boy was I wrong
“HOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WHATTSSSSSS SUPPPPPPPPPPPPPP” she yells her usual energetic greeting towards me.
I respond with the usual, "Hello Yuki" as quite and polite as every other day. Even though I never smile, make jokes, or ever initiate conversations, she always chooses to talk to me. I wonder why. I didn't find out until later in my life when I met her once again.
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December 25,2015 Age:8 Time: 11:23 PM
Today is my birthday usually kids would be excited because its Christmas where you would get presents like toys and stuff, but what I got what a lot different that year.
My mother came back even more drunk than usual and I tense up because I know this day is when they got married coupled with my birthday and the holiday when they were together this was the happiest time of the year. Now its bitter memories for her which she tries to forget through alcohol.
“HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA” she laughs out loud, which I could hear from in the closet hiding afraid.
“AHH HAPPY TWENTY FUCKING ONE ANNIVERSARY YOU YOU LYING BITCH” Tasha screams angrily at the wall.
I could hear movement like a predator searching for her prey. The bathing during this day is usually intensify a hundred times last year I lost the ability to run. I can walk fine but running was impossible which shut down my only escape by playing soccer. Even with my weak heart, I loved to play soccer because it reminded me of the last time my family was together and smiling.
All I could see was a blinding light and her Tasha as she pulls me out of the closet and drags me to the kitchen floor pushing and holding me down. Struggling to get out as I see her pull out a knife from the kitchenware drawer.
She exclaims “THOSE RED EYES” and all I could feel was an excruciating pain in my left eye like a million needles stabbing it at once. Then all I could feel was something pulling and there it was with my right eye I saw it my left eye and the women who did it passed out on the floor.
You might think why not kill her when she passed it out isn't it better than suffering through the daily abuse? Funny enough, I never ever had thoughts of killing her because I made a promise. After that incident, I started to kill off my emotion. That day was the start of my life where I became a dead man walking.
What does it mean to live in the literal definition, it means that your heart is pumping, but to me what's the point if you don't feel anything. It isn't any better than to be in a vegetable state where everyday past as a blur. Feeling neither sad nor happy, but a numbing sense always but at least I don't feel pain anymore.
December 26,2015 Age:8 Time: 12:47 AM
I walk myself to the hospital, which is 30 minutes away after I putted my left eye in a bag full of ice and put on a makeshift eye patch. A lot of people were staring at me as I walked up to the hospital attendant and asked to see a doctor since it was an emergency. The attendant looked at me funny probably wondering where's my parents.
He says “sorry but come back with your parents and emergency only, ” he says as he busily works, since during the holiday people have a little too much to drink and does stupid stuff.
I responded in a calm, matter “my eye got pulled off” then proceeded to take off my eye patch showing him.
Huh, you would think people working in the hospital would have a lot more tolerance for this kind of stuff.
He asked is this real? No, I pulled off someone else's eye and put it in an ice bad OF COURSE IT'S REAL, but I refrain from saying what I thought and said “Yes”.
One of the patient waiting for a doctor offered his spot for me and I graciously said “thank you sir” he said “no problem kid sorry for what happen”.
You can hear murmurs from the people waiting for a doctor saying how tragic since I'm so young but due to what happen to me my mind matured a lot faster than kids my age. I waited an hour before I got to see a doctor since there was so much people and I met the doctor who was called Amy.
She looked at me and then asked “how?” and I responded with “Tasha”.
There was a brief period of silence before she spoke again “Tasha?”
“Yes the women who birth me”
“..... is that not your mother then?”
“what mother pulls out their child left eye out?” I asked with my usual calm and devoid of emotion face
“I need to make a call be right back” looking like she is about to get up in a hurry I stopped her.
“don't call the police please” I said
With wide eyes, she proceeds to ask, Why don't you want to be rid of your suffering.
After telling her the circumstance that lead up to it, I finally told her the reason why not. It was because of a promise I made with my “dad” who said to protect her in his place since he felt guilty leaving her like that. He does send quite a bit of cash to our house every month which, thanks to it I am able to buy groceries and the like with.
I told the doctor if she calls the police I will commit suicide because my “dad” didn't upheld his promise of being with my “mom” till death I will at least.
She finally agrees and says if you ever receive any more injuries, then come back and look for me I will fix your injuries free of charge trying to give her best smile while not looking sad at all. I left with a thank you and walked back home or hell.
(first time writing a fan fiction criticism is welcome)