It was the middle of the night when I finally slipped this mortal coil. Right before that moment, I had been dreading my whole life, I was surrounded by my family.

For the entirety of my natural life and hopefully not my unnatural life, I haven’t been happy. I suffer from a rather extreme case of Anhedonia (they think), I cannot feel pleasure. Nothing ever helped. Nothing could help. I lived my past 70 or so years as emotionally dead. I mean not for lack of trying. I remember in my youth, there was a trend to throw out whatever did not spark joy. I really tried to follow the trend, however, let’s just say I couldn’t finish the job.  

Now here I am surrounded by my family, me, myself, and I. I never was great at making the connection, so it makes sense that I would end up alone. 

If I get another chance, please just let me experience happiness. That is all I want, that is all I ever wanted. I pleaded to a higher power, which I never would normally disdain. 

Then it happened, I heard the monitor. I had flatlined. If my heart could beat at that moment im sure it would sound like a drum solo for the ages.

I then felt a small tug, as my consciousness slowly faded…

I think that moment might have been the closest I ever was too excited.

Then there was darkness. I can’t remember how long I was in that murky place. I could have been there for centuries or just for one single second1, but  I was no longer there.   

In front of me was a sharply dressed person with a very pale face. Before I could process this development, He said: “ Welcome I hope that didn’t take to long.”

Looking more closely at this speaker, it seems to be at a tall grey-skinned humanoid. It has androgynous features that lean a little towards denoting him being a male. He has a back that is ramrod straight. He dressed handsomely in a black suit which is accented with a dark red. His body is wiery and he has an effeminate face.

Even though I am caught off guard by this development, I can't help but reply“ I hope you don’t take offense but are you the devil?” This might be my chance, come on be Satan. Is it weird to hope that this thing is the devil?

“None taken...” as he slowly riffles through a file that appeared before him. Well, at least that is not a no. If I had a body at this point im sure it would have tensed up.

I take a moment to reassess this room im in, its a fever dream and a half. A wooden office space with a vaulted ceiling impossibly high. A bookshelf’s where the spines of the assorted books have been etched with mind-numbing runes. However, the most baffling addition to this room is what is either side of me, there are two doors. When looking at the door on my left, I feel a sense of the unknown, while the door to my right fills me with a feeling of emptiness… oblivion?

Stolen story; please report.

After taking a long look at the folder he says “ You could say im something similar.” I knew I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up. I wonder if I look disappointed? He continues “ I am what you would call an arbiter. I decide what happens to your soul after dying.”

Well, that’s not too shocking seeing as im aware that I died. I couldn’t help but ask “So, what happens now?”

“I am currently in a bit of a jam here Mr.Tener. It’s regarding your specific condition.” He looks up from the file looking a bit… tired? 

“It is hard for me to make a judgment on someone like yourself. You never really did anything particularly good, but the fact you didn’t do anything bad with your particular condition can be considered a good outcome.’’ 

“ I’m sorry this is difficult for you that is not my intention.” Though im not particularly happy about this situation, it’s probably best not to anger the closest thing to god you’ve ever seen.

“ Due to these less than perfect circumstances, I will ask your opinion on the matter. Would you like for your consciousness to fade he motions to the door on my right, or you could also have your memories wiped and reincarnate into some other world he motions to the door on my left.” his finger then come back together and are tensed, from my cursory knowledge of media he may be the villain. 

“I have a question,  will my condition carry over into this new world?” As the words leave my mouth, my incorporeal body seems to quake. Can I finally be rid of the curse and live a normal life? Will I be able to feel joy? 

“Normally that would be no problem, as your condition would be due to your biochemistry, and being placed into a new vessel would remedy this.”He relaxes his hand, and with a flourish of his hand, he continues in a  dramatic tone  “However, in your case, the root problem lies in your soul rather than in your body. Even now while you have lost your mortal vessel you still are incapable of feeling emotions. This is rare even on the grand scale that I work within.”

“Then could you let my consciousness fade. I want this to be over.” Though he confirmed my worst fears, I feel a sense of relief wash over me. I gaze at the door longingly. Soon I will no longer have to suffer this meaningless existence. 

“If that is what you want then, by all means, it can be arranged.’’ He says while looking at me with a Cheshire smile on his effeminate face. “Though I do have a counteroffer. Let me have your soul. I will see to it that you will be freed from your emotionless state, but you will have to serve me for as long as I deem it necessary.” His smile becoming larger and larger, I even wonder why his skin doesn’t start to crack.

I mean if this is my only option why not. It can’t be worse then my original life, I want to experience emotions like the lot of them. Without a second thought, I respond with a “Yes.”

His smile disappears, as he starts to explain “ Due to the bureaucracy set in place by the hire-ups, I must warn you that what im currently offering you, in your world’s terms, is a Faustian bargain.”

So im currently in bed with a literal devil, well could be worse. “Sure, as long as you can do as you promise I see no reason for me to not to make a deal with the devil in the pale moon life.”

“WONDERFULL!!!” he announced in an cheerful mood, which im jealous of. “Let’s get this show on the road.” He reaches out as my nonexistent eyes begin to shut but before I lose consciousness I hear “ This is the last one I need, My dream of having ____ will become a reality.” I sure wish I heard that word, but it doesn’t matter as long as I get what im promised. Probably something inconsequential for me. 

Suddenly im struck by a question, Why didn’t I ask for his name? How impolite of me, weird. 

I enter a state of total silence and for the first time in my life, I fell truly at peace.