Avenger’s Tower - Direct Communications Link
JARVIS: “Sir, There is an Incoming Communication from Dr. Banner."
Tony: “Finally. Put him Through… Bruce, what took so long?”
Bruce: “Sorry Tony, but things got weird here pretty fast and I kind of lost Thor.”
Tony: “Lost him? How do you lose a 6-foot god of thunder?”
Bruce: “Well” deep sigh “Loki gifted Thor these interdenominational endangered spirit warrior beasts- I don’t really know what they are. But Thor was really excited -until they. Well, they found Thor unworthy or something because before I knew it the herd of them Loki had brought with him went crazy and I had to spend the day herding them back through the portal.”
Tony: “And Thor?”
Bruce: “He spent most of the time arguing with Loki about how it didn’t count -that Loki must have done something. The next thing I know, they are gone. The portal is closed, and I got reports that I had missed some of the creatures. It has been a long couple of days. I didn’t even notice your message until a few hours ago”
Tony: "Wait-What- Jut how many of those creatures are still here? Why haven’t I heard about this before now and Just what are they?"
Bruce: “Well- they aren't ah, no... He called them Spirit Beasts- a warrior's champion or something- I don’t know. They are fluffier than what I would call a warrior's champion but they are fast and big- but not hostile- So far. I've found two. I'm pretty sure that's all that stayed behind.”
Tony: "Ah- If they didn’t follow Thor how are you able to keep them under control?”
Bruce: “I was told they think I’m one of them."
Tony: “…How?”
Bruce: “It’s the big guy, they get along with him.”
Tony: “That makes less sense”
Bruce: “Well, for now there's nothing left to do. Thor left a note saying he was going to visit this planet with Loki and now I'm stuck with 2 weird child-sized horned warrior creatures I can’t just leave on their own and can’t take on the plane with me- so I’m going to need a little help getting back”
Tony: “All Right, yeah. Um, where exactly are you again? I’ll see about getting this handled.”
- The Next Day -
Avenger’s Tower- Helipad
Natasha: “Those are the warrior beasts?”
Clint: “They are some enormous bunnies. What’s up with the horns?”
Steve: “They look like Jackalopes with wings”
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JARVIS: "I believe they are called Wolpertinger"
Tony: “Tell me those are just abnormally giant Flemish rabbits in costume.”
Bruce: “Oh, trust me, they are real. One Stomped Thor across a field and into a tree- almost ripping it out by its roots. Loki was insufferable. I think he only searched everywhere for them just to prove that there was something that wouldn’t approve of Thor.”
Tony: “Are those fangs? What do they even eat?”
Bruce: “I’ve been feeding them greens mostly, they don’t seem to mind. Wouldn’t eat any of the different meats we left them.”
The door opens and Lan Zhan walks out into the helipad. Lan Zhan Bows his greeting.
Lan Zhan: “Greeting Sect Leader Rogers, Hero Stark, Hero Romanov, Hero Barton...”
Steve: “Bruce, this is the new guest we told you about, Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji This is another member of the Avengers, Doctor Bruce Banner, Also known as The Hulk”
Lan Zhan “It is good to meet you Hero Banner, I-”
Lan Zhan's introduction is interrupted as the two spirits beasts abandon Bruce to sniff and surround him.
Natasha: “Looks like they found their new favorite Person”
Bruce looks on in wonder as the creatures amble over to Lan Zhan immediately, seeming entranced, and chuckling happily at him.
Bruce: "This would have made collecting them so much easier"
Tony: “I didn’t think he could turn into more of a Disney princess but”
Clint: “Does that mean he is a better warrior than Thor?”
Natasha: “That is unbearably cute”
Lan Zhan: “Are these creatures common here? I did not think this world had spirit beasts.”
Clint: “We don’t, they’re not from this universe”
Steve: “No, are we even sure what to feed them?”
Bruce: "Maybe?"
Lan Zhan: “They are similar to some spirit beast I have read about. I might be able to offer some assistance. Where did they come from if they are not from this world?”
Steve: ”That friend we told you about, Thor. His brother found them in his … travels and brought them back as a gift for Thor... It didn’t go as planned?”
Tony: (scoffs) “I think it went exactly as planned. They hated Thor and Loki thinks it is hilarious. And now we are left to deal with the fallout.”
Bruce: “Well they really like you. I heard they form bonds with warriors so that is something to keep in mind.”
Lan Zhan nods his understanding as he searches his sleeves.
Lan Zhan: “Mhm, That is not uncommon when it comes to Spirit Beasts. I am, however, unfamiliar with such practices” He retreaves a small pile of leafy greens.
Tony: (Blinks) “Why are you even carrying that in your sleeve?”
Lan Zhan: “I keep some greens on me in case … I have companions, none Spirit beasts, I take care of at home.” Lan Zhan Kneels down to feed the creatures.
Tony: "Mhm"
Bruce: “Careful, Würzen bites, but Zucker is pretty tame. The black one is Würzen and the white one is Zucker.”
Lan Zhan sets about feeding the two Wolpertinger a few greens, while Natasha slowly makes her way closer.
Steve: “Sugar and Spice? You named them?”
Bruce: “The soldiers in the outpost who helped me feed them gave them those names”
Tony speaking into his phone: “Pepper...-Yeah, it looks like the tower is stuck with a few more long-term guests...” looks at Steve.
Steve: Nods. "I'll let SHEILD know."
Soft Churring sounds come from the Wolpertinger now happily receiving pets from Lan Zhan. Natasha joins Lan Zhan in caring for the long-eared spirit beasts.
Clint: “How pissed will Thor be if he comes back to find them bound to some other interdimensional warrior?”
Steve: “Do you think Loki will be with him? He might recognize where Lan Wangji comes from”
Bruce: "Maybe? I hoped he would. I was worried about what to do with them, We can't just keep them. They have to eat more than just plants, look at those fangs"
Lan Zhan: "Mhm, they are spirit beasts. They most likely feed on other spirit beasts or creatures of a spiritual nature like yao or elemental spirits"
Tony: “Huh, well they are cute for horned vampire bunnies”
Clint: "I need a picture of this"
Natasha: "Don't post anything"
Clint: "Oh come on- I'll just take a photo of the horned bunnies... and Lan Wangji?"
Lan Zhan looks up confused.
Natasha: "No"
Steve: "At least wait until I hear back from SHIELD"
—
Extra
Natasha: “Really Clint, He does not need more public attention”
Clint: “What do you mean? What public attention? His only been here a few days”
Natasha: “Just search for the Hot New Asian Avenger- I’m not even sure how they are getting these photos. He is seriously photogenic. Luckily, I’ve talked the poor guy into doing his meditations and exercises inside the tower from now on.”