“Welcome sir! Before we begin, I will need to know your full name.”

I was groggy and disoriented as if I'd been asleep for days and just woken up. I felt the wooden slats of a deck beneath me and realized I was sitting on the steps of a porch. It was midday and in front of me was a large empty clearing filled with rocks, shrubs, and trees. If I were to use just one word to describe the place it would be: overgrown.

The man before me was the very same man who had led me up the water tower. But he looked rather different now. He was clothed in a long plush robe of purple velvet with yellow and white stars embroidered upon it. He also wore a matching pointed cap. He looked like a wizard out of a fairytale. His beard was long and white and clean.

“It’s you!” I cried out, standing up. “This is all some sort of crazy magic! You’ve captured me, haven’t you?”

“Nothing of the sort my friend, you are indeed the rightful heir to Golden Acres. I merely guided you here. Now please, tell me your name so we can begin the tutorial process.”

The tutorial? Is he kidding me?

Ignoring him for the moment, I slowly turned my body in a full circle to appraise my current surroundings. I was standing on the patio of a deck. This must be the farm. So the old coot was telling the truth! Even so, I was having a hard time stomaching the earth-shattering realization that magic was real and everything I’d ever known was a lie. Oh well, best if I compartmentalize that trauma and deal with it later. Or never. Yeah, never sounds good.

I turned back to the man. “It’s George. My name is George Rutherford.”

A ping sounded and I saw my name appear for a moment in gold letters, floating in the air in the center of my field of vision, then disappear.

“Good, and would you like to keep the name Golden Acres for your farm, or would you like to rename it?” he asked.

“Keep it, it’s fine,” I said. I would still sell this place anyway. What did the name matter?

A magic farm? Imagine how much money that will bring in! If only I could get anyone else to believe it's true…

The words Golden Acres flashed above the wizard’s head and then disappeared.

“Now, a very important question, Mr. Rutherford. Would you like a cat or a dog?”

“A dog!” I answered without hesitation.

With my personality, many people mistake me for a cat person. Reserved, analytical, quiet. But the truth is I love dogs. I’d moved around so much as a kid I’d never had the chance to have a dog of my own. But I’d always dreamed of having one. A dog. My dog! My heart swelled at the idea.

The wizard snapped his fingers and a golden retriever poofed into existence beside him and looked up at me with a lolling tongue and big excited brown eyes.

“And what will you-” the wizard began to ask.

“Max, his name is Max!” I interrupted excitedly, all attempts to play it cool leaving me as I knelt and the dog bounded over to me, yipping and licking my face excitedly as I gave him a hug around his neck. I forgot all my cynical questions at that moment as the inner child in me embraced his new pet.

“Next I need to show you a few important things before I leave you, so please pay attention,” said the wizard.

Stolen novel; please report.

I stood up straight and Max circled me once excitedly before plopping himself down at my feet and staring at the wizard.

“Ok, we are ready,” I said, patting Max’s head.

“Great! The first thing to note is that there are four seasons in Halfmoon Hills. Today is Monday and it is day 1 of Summer. There are specific types of crops that can be planted in each season, as well as types of fish and food to be foraged. You will find, in this chest here…” the wizard pointed to a large wooden chest located in front of the house, “Every item that you need to start your journey as a farmer and adventurer in Halfmoon Hills.

Most things will be self-explanatory, as I’ve imbued you with a spell to give you guidance where required. For more complicated things, however, you will have to ask around or find other sources of information. You could ask me of course… but you’d have to find me first!” The wizard laughed at that. “But I won’t tell you where. I value my privacy, you see!”

I opened my mouth to ask a question but the wizard pressed on, ignoring me completely and I found myself unable to interrupt. I was unsure if this was a spell at work or simply my utter shock and disbelief at the situation unfolding.

“Behind you, is your house. All this land…” he stretched his arms wide, “From that cave and rock hill, all the way to the fences to the south and east, is yours. You won’t be able to see the edges of your property at the moment as they are covered by detritus. Each season the detritus will reset and you will have to clear it out again. There are tools for this task in your chest.”

He paused for a moment and let me digest, then asked: “Okay, all good Mr. Rutherford?”

“No! Not good at all!” I said, finally finding my voice. “I have about a million questions!” I folded my arms. Max barked happily. I took this as his agreement and patted him on the head again for good measure. “First off, how the heck am I supposed to get back from here? Are you going to do that portal thing again?”

“Back?” the wizard laughed. “This is your farm, George! Your home! You need to focus on more important things. I suggest you start planting crops Mr. Rutherford. Surviving here will take a lot of work, not to mention funds. If you truly wish to return to where you came from, you’ll need a massive reserve of resources to even attempt such a journey. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been gone from my home for quite some time.”

“Wait-” I called out. But the wizard ignored me and cut me off.

“Now I really must be going! Goodbye, you two! George, we may not see each other for some time… so good luck!” He clapped his hands together and disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

“Why the hell did you ask me if I was good if you didn’t want to answer or help with my questions?” I groaned.

Well, this was a mess of a situation! I was marooned here, it seemed, with no way back. I adjusted the collar of my shirt and then unbuttoned it. It was hot and I was very, very, overdressed for this place. I looked around once more for any signs of humanity, magic portals, or anything at all. Nothing. No-one. Just me and Max.

As if to underscore the point Max yipped. I couldn't help it, I burst into laughter. This was all so crazy! Absurd! I was supposed to have already checked out the place and been headed back home on the freeway by now, instead, I had gone through a magical wormhole in a water tower and been led by a strange homeless man who turned out to be a wizard. I had no choice. I had to accept this was real. Either that, or I had gone crazy, and I refused to believe the latter.

“Ok, if this is real, I’d better start figuring out how everything works here. The faster I do that, the faster I can get back home where I belong and get this place on the market. If anyone even wants to buy a crazy place like this,” I said aloud to myself.

I walked over to the chest the wizard had pointed out. I didn’t see any kind of handle, button, or latch. Instead, as soon as I thought about opening it, its lid popped off of its own accord. To my surprise, it was empty when I looked in.

“What the hell, where is everything? Where are my tools?”

That question was answered by a window that popped up in my field of vision displaying 20 item slots, 5 of which were taken up by the tools the wizard had mentioned:

[ CHEST 5/20

* Hoe (Rank 1)

* Scythe (Rank 1)

* Axe (Rank 1)

* Mining Pick (Rank 1)

* Watering Can ]

I focused on the scythe and it appeared in my hands. I gasped in astonishment. I dismissed the window and the chest closed on its own.

“Max, do you know what this means?” I asked my new dog. He barked excitedly in response. “It means this world, this place, it responds to me like a video game world does to a user! It also means… unfortunately… that I was wrong. I am for sure going insane.”