“You guys realize we’re totally gonna die right?”
“Yeah”
“Yup”
“No doubt”
“Who would have thought after we, the great Terrestrials of space, would meet our fate after killing every living thing on this planet except this one. We should have realized our faults sooner.”
“We really fucked up when we came to Earth huh?”
“Yeah”
“Yup”
“No doubt”
Four seemingly hopeless aliens looked toward across a plain that was burnt to a crisp by warfare only to see their adversary in the distance. All of them sighed in unison and cocked their highly advanced space blasters. They knew this was a hopeless battle the minute they saw their enemy. Their only regret is that they did not figure out sooner that such a being existed on the desolate planet called Earth. It really was depressing, their venture to earth was supposed to be an easy annihilation and resource mine for them. But they supposed it was for naught.
They could have tried running away but by the time they would get to their spaceship they'd be dead no doubt. They knew this all too well.
The Terrestrials started shooting their blasters at the lone being but its anger alone generated a field that deflected the beams. The being was practically fuming it was furious, all its brethren were killed and it wanted vengeance.
“Brothers I guess this is really it.”
“I don't say it to often but you guys are really okay people.”
“That's it?”
“We’re only okay to you? Asshole.”
“Oh fuck you Tom I know you cheated had an affair with Bre-” suddenly the Alien was cut short and the sound of bones being crushed could be heard. The poor guy had no time to think and was killed instantly. The next two went down right after the other and only a quick primal screech could be heard before they both died. The next Alien who was apparently named Tom kowtowed in front of the almighty being and begged for forgiveness. His forgiveness was lost on the being and was crushed immediately.
The being found the Terrestrials spaceship and went inside. Then it proceeded to turn on autopilot and let out a huge honk as he flew into deep space. Yes you heard right it honked, this being was not a living thing at all, but the vehiclsation of humanities hate for all aliens! This was the origin story of the almighty, the great, there’s nothing he can't kill, the vengeful TRUCK-SAN!!! There isn't any extra terrestrial out there who won't face his wrath! You might as well kill yourself when you hear his war-cry(honk)because you'll be dead a second later anyways…
---The Modern World of OP-Ness--- (Population: Ur Mom)
Taking a large breath in and letting out an even bigger sigh I thought forlorn thoughts to myself. ‘How was I supposed to know that destroying a single, a tiny little volcano would set off a huge chain reaction effectively setting of a supervolcano that covered the entire planet? How was I supposed to know everyone was going to die as a result too? Oh jeez I just feel terrible about this whole situation.’ I am simply too strong for my own good, I wish I never found the sacred text that was hidden beneath my house in my basement.
“Dammit! Everyone on this planet is...was too strong for their own good already! I should have realized that.”
Every single thing on the planet OP-Ness is extremely strong mostly because of the fact it was a planet the size of about one third of jupiter if that puts things into perspective. The gravity is immense here, so everyone just naturally got extremely strong through evolution.
And I was the one to single handedly kill all of them with a single punch, and the help of pressurized magma and noxious gas.
When I was young I went snooping through my dads old box of stuff that he accumulated throughout his entire life, and found a martial arts manual. He told me that it was just a stupid comic, that the things written on it simply could not be accomplished. But I refused to believe that. If someone had written the manual then someone must have completed it. On the manual was written “ONE HUNDRED PUSH UPS, ONE HUNDRED SIT-UPS, AND A TEN KM RUN EVERYDAY FOR THREE YEARS…” I know...practically impossible. Somehow through all the struggle though I managed to complete this and was granted impossible strength. Even so I longed for more, I was greedy, instead of the usual one hundred pushups, situps, and a ten km run I did one thousand push ups, one thousand situps, and a one hundred km run every day for six years.
Only now do I realize my great mistake, now that I murdered a total of 1,657,998,135 people. I should have never allowed myself to generate such power with those techniques I found. With a flick of a finger I could destroy a mountain and with the bat of an eye lash I could make massive hurricanes. Unfortunately for everyone's well being I didn’t realize this as I unleashed my full strength on that volcano, it truly was pitiful as I watched everyone slowly die right before my eyes. My family, my friends, even my fucking dog died from the incident. The only reason I’m even alive right now is because my cells are practically indestructible, and I seem to have lost the need for oxygen or food.
Sighing once again I looked to the ash filled sky and wished this all to be a pitiful joke, and for my strength to disappear. Alas nothing happened and I was left to my lonesome on the planet to contemplate my atrocious doings.
///??? long years later\\\
“Hey Rocky how’re you doing today?” I asked while rocking a rock with a face painted on it back and forth.
“I’m an inanimate object Tim. I can’t speak to you, now now, not ever. I told you this already get your head out of the gutter!”
“Ah Rocky you're such an intellectual. You need to look past the physical constraints you’re holding yourself under.”
“...”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“I don’t appreciate the silent treatment Rocky…” I look to the rock and tears slowly streamed down my cheeks. I so badly wanted to talk to my little sister Janet again, I wanted to talk to something that would actually respond for once. Even just for a second, as long a they were living.
“Asshole.”
“Oh don’t give me that shit Rocky. I still love you no matter how inanimate you are so don’t get jealous.”
“Okay…”
“Oh fuck I really am going crazy aren’t I.” I had not used my hand to move Rocky this time when he talked. Tim had not aged well over the past three days.
///??? Years later\\\
I lay on the ground looking up at the stars as I had been for the past few months. I really have seemed to lost my ability to keep track of time. Not that I would have wanted to. All I care about is the stars now, the ash clouds have finally dissipated revealing them. They were more beautiful than I remembered them.
Tim had not realized it had only been two weeks since he effectively destroyed the entirety of the planet.
“Ahhh! I want to kill myself sooo bad. But I'm once again to strong for my own good. I have tried to kill myself in every way that is fucking possible. Why god? Why make me suffer?” I proclaimed to the sky while wallowing in grief. I can't even estimate how long I've been alive. I just wanna die. But alas my body is immortal and my cells no longer seem to die, so I guess I’m fucked.
Tim had already forgotten about how murdered everyone on his planet. He has lived for two weeks straight now, and without being able to estimate the time has presumed himself to be immortal. Little does he know just how wrong he is. Ah! Look to the sky. It’s a bird! A plane? No it's....oh shit I better stop narrating and get the fuck out of here. Bye!
“finally that oddly deep, but kind of sexy voice in my head left. Now what was he talking about? Something about a bird?” I look up to the sky curiously and am surprised to find a gigantic truck heading straight for me. It looked like a meteor as it sailed towards me. I started running, but it is faster than me. I look to my side and there it is keeping up right along with me. We round the planet for the third time and
I feel a deep primal fear climbing up into my chest and throat. I knew I needed to get away but didn't know how. I started rapidly digging into the earth as fast as I possibly could but soon found I was already at the core of the OPness planet.
Panting and afraid I heard the vibrations and occasional honk get closer and closer until it felt like it was right on top of me. What was I to do? Where was I to go? Someone please help me! I had completely forgotten the feeling of wanting death in the face of this frightening truck. burying my head in my hands I started crying and screaming until finally the magnificent trunk appeared before me.
At the center of the planet another lone figure much like the last could be seen kowtowing to a truck.
Unfortunately for this person Truck-san does not hesitate in way shape or form. All that could be heard was a single rev of an engine and a small scream before everything went silent. After that the murderous truck left looking for more aliens to kill.
The Underworld; hell.
“C'mon the line to get into hell is taking way too long. Can't you guys pick up the pace.” I said to the millions upon millions of zombies that were in front of me. I was in fact the only one with an intact body present. Must be a benefit of immortality, but wait I'm dead, so I guess it's super strength???
“Hey shut up douchebag! I've been here for ten thousand years. I don't need to hear that from some nobody newby.” An angry skeleton shouted while raising the middle finger to me. I sigh to myself, we all just wanna die none of this afterlife bullshit. We hope that the sweet release lies beyond the doors the line leads to, but honestly no one really cares. We are just walking in line because there was nothing else to do. Me and the guy go back and forth for a little while until a zombie guard makes us shut up because we were annoying people. I look ahead at the line that seemed to travel on forever and stroke the super long beard I had been growing ever since before I died. I decided to lay down for a little and moved off to the side of the line so I could lay down. I lay down on the jagged red rocks the covered all of the underworld and drift off to sleep.
The next day I wake up and get back into the line. I look ahead and get the deepest urge to see what would happen if I pushed one of them. Human dominoes? A brawl? One angry dude? But I decided against it because I didn't want to stir any trouble.
I once again look down the endless line and start crying. Dear god please just let me die. And in my moment of weakness the big man gave me the answer himself. An epiphany from the gods, the biggest prophecy of the century! Yeah… I'm just gonna cut in line.
I go off to the side of the line once more and start sprinting to the the humongous doors that let people in. It had an emblem with a goat head that had four horns on it smack dab in the middle. Its eyes were red, body black, and horns black with a red gradient descending from the tip of the horns.
With my super speed it took me about one minute to get there. I cut in front of the person that was second in line and he starts screaming at me. Though I couldn't really make anything out of what he was saying because he lacked half of his tongue.
Your a ham chicken sandwich? I just decided to ignore him. The guy ahead of me walked up to the booth with a skeleton in it and was judged. He then caught on fire and disappeared to a different realm.
The lady skeleton said next and I gulped. She somehow managed to look really moody even without skin and muscles to show it. Her eyeballs were in a perpetual glare but I assume that isn't her fault considering she has no eyelids.
I walk up to her and she gives me that evil eye stare.
“Hello sir could you please tell me your name. I need to assess which layer of hell you will be going to.” The lady said in a almost angelic voice. I swear I just had a brain orgasm just from the sound of her voice. If this lady wasn't all skin and bones....I mean just bones than I probably would have asked her out. I don't mean to brag but I had a girlfriend in first grade once. Yeah I'm pretty much a playboy no doubt the lady would love me.
“Hi, um I'm Tim Hartfeld nice to meet you...I likeyourvoice.”
“What was that at the end?”
“nothing.”
“Okay Tim. Now looking at your soul frequency and name...ah here you are on the list. Huh something must be wrong. It says here that you are going to the tenth layer of hell, but there are only nine. What in God’s name did you do?”
“Um I wouldn't check if I were yo-.”
“You killed 1,657,998,135 people!”
“oh yeah that did happen.”
“Dear Satan himself you are a monster! And that's coming from a demon that's been here for an eternity!”
“Hey shut up it was an accident! How was I supposed to know volcanos did that?”
“You killed your own family! Even your dog. I got you wrong, you're worse than a monster. You are quite literally the most evil person i've ever met. Do know what that means to someone who lives in hell?!”
This lady won't shut up, and honestly I'm kind of enjoying it. I mean all the comments hurt. But she has the most seductive voice I have ever heard. I'm not sure if I should be hurt or aroused, or both right now. I'm so confused.
“Go to whence you belong foul demon!” a bunch of zombies gave me scared and strange looks, so I just gave them a mean glare. I swear the guy that was yelling at me before somehow shit his pants. I laughed a little but then I started to feel a burning sensation all over my body until I finally looked down to see all the flames that covered my body. They were slowly climbing higher and higher up my body until they finally reached my eyes clouding my vision. It's not like it hurts but it is still really annoying. Like why not just install an escalator to transport people places.
Everything went black and as quickly as the light left it came back. I found myself in a barred prison that surrounded me on all sides. Shaking the dizziness from my head I went up to the bars and got a good grip on them. They bent surprisingly easily. I start walking down a dark and musty corridor. I really was taking this whole situation quite easily. I guess it just goes to show just how strong I really am. I look around to see thousands of cages just like my own, but empty and sparse. I keep walking until I finally find a door. It was unlocked so I opened it to see a guy talking to an average looking women. I couldn't hear what they were talking about so I got closer practically right beside the two but they were in a really heated discussion.
“So there I was, barbeque sauce on my titties.”