I could drink this all night long!

As Maya and Lora joined a group of drunken UFA soldiers, the beast-man with whom Candice had crossed eyes at the entrance sat beside her. “What’s your name, stranger?” he said, a wide smile forming on his snout.

Candice blinked, dumbfounded. She quickly turned around, searching for her new-made friends, but they were far from her, singing aloud, “A girl once dreamed of a tall gentleman gifting her a bouquet of flowers! Red, violet, and pink, beautiful, lovely dead flowers! The girl was pretty like a snowdrop of white-blond hair, while the man was lanky and had no face!”

“My name is Caine, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He smiled without taking his eyes off her. His fur was gray and his snout was as long as hers, but despite the similarities she knew right away he was a dog Jinga.

“Hey—” She winced. “—sorry to burst your bubble, but I’m not one of you. You know what I mean.”

“I know, I can tell by your smell.” He took a sip from the mug in his hand. “But that doesn’t stop us from becoming friends, does it?”

“Maybe—” She shook her head, feeling dizzy immediately. “But you’ll change your mind when I tell you I have a boyfriend.”

“Is that so?” The Jinga showed his fangs, grinning. “And where is this boyfriend of yours? I hope he wasn’t stationed at the wall. In that case, you can have my condolences.”

“N-no! He’s fine and better than ever!” she said, hitting the table clumsily. “He’s—right there!” She pointed at the entrance. A group of young men walked into the place. Even their casual clothes were immaculately white.

The male jinga frowned notoriously. “You’re dating a Dove? Don’t even lie about it. Their dogma prohibits—”

“I know what their dogma says!” Candice exploded, spilling the rest of her beer. The people at the surrounding tables glared at her. Joseph waved at her joyfully.

“For the love of Brahmon, you have to be kidding me,” the jinga muttered, leaving his seat and getting out of sight while Joseph approached the table.

“Hey, Candice. What’s in your mug? I’ll get whatever you’re drinking.” He smiled widely.

“Oh, this. I don’t think—”

“Hope!?” Candice heard a soldier yell out on another table. “I can't keep drinking and deluding myself into thinking there's fucking hope! They're gone!” He continued ranting, only getting attention from those surrounding him. “Half the wall is gone and no one could do shit to stop it! The Charmer couldn't do shit! The Doves couldn't do shit! I couldn't do shit!” Candice, Joseph, and those on his table gave him looks of worry, but the feast on the Golden Moose would not stop for everyone else.

One of his fellow soldiers approached him. “Look man, your sisters still have a chance, they'll show up anytime now.”

The ranting man remained silent, starting to speak after a few moments. “I should've stopped them from joining the mages. I shouldn't have believed in the Charmer or the Church. I'm their brother. I should've kept them safe.”

Candice swallowed hard, glancing at Joseph for a second. She did not like his expression.

“I can get us a table on the first floor,” Joseph said quietly. “Would you like to join me for dinner?”

After a few minutes, a blonde elf brought a large roasted chicken, a round of honey beers, and a strawberry cheesecake which Joseph started munching as soon as it was placed on the table. The elf giggled at the sight of his round, full cheeks. “So adorable,” Candice heard her say while walking down the stairs.

“Of all of UFA’s inventions, renewable food is the best,” Joseph said while devouring the food in front of him, before crossing eyes with Candice. “Sorry, I’ll leave you half, I promise. But please, dig in.”

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Thanks.” Candice took a chicken’s leg and gave it a small bite. She turned to her right and saw the establishment still full of people. The commotion downstairs was over, the table was now clean and occupied by another group. People in the Golden Moose kept drinking and dancing, no end in sight. I suppose that everyone just wants to forget for at least one night. She glanced at her knight, knowing it would be a bad idea to say that out loud. The distressed soldier from before came to her mind. What happens to those who just can’t forget?

Joseph finished the cake without thinking. “Sorry! I’ll get another one.”

“Don’t worry, I’d rather have this.” She took another bite.

“Thanks for all of your help, Candice. For saving me earlier and for leading the way into our next mission. I’m more relieved knowing that you’ll accompany us tomorrow. I can’t stand Archmage Spencer for long periods.”

“The Great Charmer, huh?” she said absently. “Aren’t you afraid?” she asked, ducking her head. It was the same question she asked the Eagles a couple of hours ago. She remembered how she came to hunt the Familiar. She heard the bird’s odd cry after the battle, and after following the sound from rooftop to rooftop, she detected the creature’s stench. I’m not sure anymore if finding that thing was for the better.

“Of course I’m afraid,” Joseph said before sipping his beer. “Whoa! What is this?!” he cried, grinning. “It surely has a strong taste.”

Candice frowned and glanced at her mug. She did not feel intoxicated anymore. Especially brewed for beast-men, huh?

“Sorry, I forgot to tell you earlier, but that drink…” After witnessing him taking a long sip, she shut her snout. “Whatever…” She looked down at her hands, scratching one claw against the other. She had to let it out. “Don’t you think this whole thing is a stupid idea? We have to fight just because Charmer came up with a plan? Why did you volunteer for such a thing?”

Joseph stared at her over his huge mug, placing it slowly over the table, licking his lips. “It’s better than standing still. High Priestess Irma didn’t want us Paladins to fight outside the wall, you know.” He paused to take a shorter sip. “We were supposed to stay and guard the main gate, but Thomas convinced her that the enemy wouldn’t lay a foot inside as long as we were out there. But in the end, that didn’t help at all.”

“You are not blaming yourself for that, are you?” she whispered, leaning toward him. She could still remember the restless expression on his face shortly after the Apostle’s arrival. Even in her mind’s eye, it was painful to see.

“Well, we were wrong, and a tenth of our people lost their lives on a single day. 331 souls, according to Stein. We can’t even give them a proper burial.” He took another sip, absently. Candice did not care about death statistics, but Joseph’s sorrow got to her. "What’s with the long face?" he asked while munching on a chicken leg. "I told you already! Everything will be fine with you by my side. Remember New York City? We were there, the worst place to be on the first day of the Purge, and we survived it together.”

I'd rather you forget those days.

“You’re right!” Candice’s expression beamed. “We're an invincible team when the time needs it!”

“Invincible,” he muttered, closing his eyes and slowly leaning over the table. “That’s good to hear,” he whispered before falling asleep. "I missed that."

“Yeah,” she whispered, reaching to pull away locks of brunette hair from his face. “And I missed you.”

***

Half an hour later, Paladin Hortace was carrying the unconscious Joseph back to the Holy Mercy Church’s barracks, when Maya approached Candice with a serene, surprisingly sober expression. “It’s time. Come.”

Maya led the way to the back of the establishment, where a car waited for them.

As the vehicle moved throughout the deserted streets, Candice looked through the window, absent, and exhaled. The memories of dancing and singing from before did not feel real to her.

“This grim silence is the real aftermath, a true requiem for the fallen.” Those were the words a person she had hated for almost a decade had said. And now I get them.

"Is something on your mind?" Maya asked, grinning. Tribal-style tattoos were visible on her right arm, which rested on the car's window.

"How could you feast and play after what happened today?" Candice asked bluntly, catching the driver's eyes through the rear mirror.

Maya sighed first and took a moment to answer. "Back in my old world, I would have been the first to ask that very same question, trust me. It’s harder to stay true to yourself in this place. I can’t tell what people are thinking most of the time."

"So you just play along?" Candice whispered.

Maya turned to her, nodding. “That's what everyone here does, don't you think? Even you.”

"Yeah, sure," Candice said, snorting. "But I'm certain this place hasn't changed me one bit."

Maya gazed at the castle's walls before continuing. "Change isn't always considered a bad thing, Wolf-Girl."

"Oh, don't misunderstand me," Candice said, looking at her blank expression. "I change, out of my own volition. Always."

My whole life has been burdened by change. Cursed to never rest or surrender.